( I Was Wondering Whether Or Not I Was The One Sitting On This Thread - Took Me A Bit To Find It. ) - Blog Posts
explosivestorm:
NONETHELESS SHE SOUGHT DARKNESS BY HERSELF. Those days spent by Izanami’s side taught her a valuable lesson. However to speak of them with others, to reveals those secrets they shared together was something which she would refrain from doing. Whatever fragment of sympathy ( if there was anything left ) which the goddess had for her would not be broken apart. That trust would not be betrayed. If anything, whatever happened would remain between them. Feeling at ease as she kept on hearing Ana speaking, Yuna wondered for a brief moment about her own story. Regardless of her dispute with Yukimura, was Ana truly happy?
❝ Not in the slightest. I am at peace with what happened back then. Whatever consequences, I will confront them. However.. ❞ Hesitation was present into her voice, her tone becoming slightly lower than normal. Yuna was not certain of how to bring that certain topic to Anastasia. Whatever happened, she should not get involved, but how could she just abandon somebody whom she deemed as friend? Perhaps it was an action based on her grudge towards Yukimura, but.. she often wondered whether she was happy there. ❝ Are you happy being there? You must be aware now of my…. dispute with that man. ❞ It had been more than a dispute. It reached the point where Yuna did not wish to cross paths with him again. Somebody as proud as herself would not lower herself to apologize for something which she was in the right.
Taking in a deep breathe, she chose to stop hesitating and confront Ana regardless of whether she would be wrong or not. ❝ I wonder whether you feel well there or not. I told him I believe he considers you all as pawns and I still believe that. I am aware that you and Hanzo are not on friendly terms, but when I confronted Yukimura about his death… ❞ That gaze, those words.. even recalling everything made Yuna’s blood boil. At that time she was hesitating a lot, those words she said being spilled out in a fit of anger. Now if she could repeat that scene, she would have done everything in a different way. ❝ Honestly, I prefer not to see his face ever again, so you will not see me again in Ueda. I will not apologize for something I said and believe in strongly. But this does not mean I do not care about you or have respect for you and the others as he claims. Haha, I still want to hit him. A real hit this time. ❞
“As long as you are willing to face the consequences headfirst, you should be able to overcome them eventually.” Anastasia responds with a bit of a hum – nodding a little, approvingly. The truth was, that was part of her problem when she had originally returned. It had been done so as … final act. She had returned to UEDA with the understanding that she would die.
Almost the H O P E for death.
However, when she’d been granted an extension to her life, when she’d been accepted amongst them again as the terms for her “f o r g i v e n e s s” . . . she’d felt TRAPPED. Sometimes, that man’s kindness was horribly crippling. It was K I N D, but it was manipulative. He’d known from the moment he spoke that his kindness was a binding c o n t r a c t. If Anastasia had had any other goals, dreams, or aspirations, they would have died on the spot. However, her dreams had died before that day, regardless. “… I’m aware of your conflict with our Lord, yes.” Anastasia responds, somewhat… carefully. “I wasn’t informed of it by the Lord himself, Sanada-sama has mostly kept the situation to himself, with the exception of his page – Rokurou-san. I simply happened to overhear about it when they were talking.” Honestly? She wasn’t sure what to make of the situation herself, since she hadn’t been there. And as she wasn’t properly informed? She was slow to make a judgement call on the situation… However? As the other asks about her own situation, Anastasia offers a soft smile. “I’m fine, Yuna-san. Sanada-sama has been more then lenient with me, and. . . even if I wasn’t exactly thrilled by his decision to employ me again at first? I’m… grateful that he did. It gave me a chance to redeem myself. It’s… given me the chance to make things right with people. And... I didn’t know how much I needed that.”
Though she had resented H I M for it at first, Anastasia knew that without his kindness she would have never been able to make things right with Isanami. She would have never been able to apologize to Sasuke. Or work towards redemption in Saizou’s eyes. Or even get to speak to ROKUROU about what she’d done to his e y e. . . They were dear friends of hers, and if she’d left things as they were? She would have DIED a traitor.
However, as the other continues to talk, Anastasia falls silent again. The RUSSIAN Kunoichi interested to hear what her friends was speaking. It was… interesting to hear that. From an outsiders perspective, perhaps it did look that way, but? After the other finishes speaking, she offers a slight nod – “… I can see where you might think that. I believed the same at first.” It was the honest truth. She’d HATED Yukimura years ago, judged him immediately due to his being a feudal LORD whose title had been granted to him from W A R. And the fact was – LORD tended to treat their underlings like pawns and playthings. She knew that VERY personally. And yet? “It’s impossible for me to dispute that it might seem that way, however? I can say this with absolute certainty: Yukimura is the best possible lord for me and those who are in his employ. He’s… unique. Weird. But he absolutely see’s us all as people, or? We wouldn’t still be there.” Saizou in specific was who she was thinking of. The young man who had had such skills – but had abandoned the idea of ever getting a lord. Yukimura was the one who had given him any faith in serving others again.
“I do not fault you for following your ideals. You should do what you think is best.” Anastasia believed that. If Yuna thought it was best to not return, then perhaps it was best. “I don’t claim to understand that man – so I can’t say what’s running through his head. I can’t imagine what it was that he said to you about Hanzo’s disappearance.” In fact, she couldn’t be sympathetic when it came to that at all. When it came to Hanzo, she STILL hated him. He’d deceived her and used her as a weapon against the others. So? Despite being willing to work with him, because she was professional, she did hate him. “And you should hit him again. Honestly, most of us spend our time exhausted with his antics… and most of us would like to hit him to. But? I would like to put forth that you should reframe from doing any real damage to him. We’re the only ones who are supposed to beat our lord up.” She offers with a smile and a soft laugh – ( Rokurou half burst the lords eardrums every other day with that technique of his… so… ) “We’re also paid to keep him from any real damage – so? You’d be denying us our pay if you got a real hit in.”