Feel - Blog Posts
I finally got it
I finally understand what everybody meant
when they would tell me that one day
I would fall in love
and I would understand what it was like
to be blatantly lost in someone.
I think it comes out of nowhere.
We don’t expect it,
it’s just there, one day
we realize that one person
can change our happiness
whether it be for the better
or for the worse
and we trust that they won’t hurt us
we just put blind trust
even though we never really know
but we don’t really care.
I think we do it for the momentary happiness
that might last a while,
maybe even forever
but we’re always slightly afraid that it will end
and we’ll go back to how we were before..
Strangers
but in the end we’re not really strangers
anymore...
MSI
<Please Don’t Break Me>
I loved you, I always will,
and that’s the problem
because the sad reality is
that I’ll love you way more
than I will ever love myself..
MSI
<If Only>
And if we ever meet again
I’ll know it’s meant to be
but for now let’s live in this happiness
because we both know it won’t last forever
even though we truly wish it did.
MSI
<Living in the Moment Was Always Our Thing>
It’s like walking through a field of flowers
wearing a white flowy dress and you’re happy
you’re picking flowers and it’s a joy so immense
nobody can stop you, you’re free but then
you hit a wall, the flowers in your hands are not there
they’re replaced by rubbish, and then you look back
and it’s no longer the field of flowers.. it’s a mess
a mess that you have no choice but to fix
so you do, you walk back
and start piecing it all together and you’re sad
you’re guilty because you created such chaos
you beat yourself up about it as you see everything;
the people you hurt, the mistakes you made,
the good ideas that were actually bad ideas
then once it’s clean you’re excited.. it’s the field again
and you’re running through it again and it’s scary
because you never know where the wall is
when you’ll be stuck looking at the mess again
but you still enjoy it, you still love the flowers..
MSI
< Bipolar Disorder In My Words >
I remember those five songs I shared with you,
the ones that showed how broken I was and
as we sat on your car staring at the navy blue sky,
the color it usually was at 3am,
I knew you understood
and I don’t think anyone ever will again...
MSI
<My Favorite Playlist is Filled With The Songs You Shared>
What if I never forget you?
what if, all my life,
when I meet someone new,
I can never fall for them
because they aren’t you?
ANON
And in the fault of our reality
I wished nothing more than
to be able to watch you smile
for the rest of my life...
MSI
<Forever>
The truth is none of us want to be adults..
And with every word you spoke
you made me feel as though
I was the best thing to ever happen to you
yet I still laid here at night
wondering when you’d leave
because all good things leave
and you were one amazing thing
I knew I couldn’t bare to lose...
MSI
<Bittersweet Nothings>
You asked,
What is the scariest part?
I answer;
the scariest part is not the feeling of loneliness
or the darkness that fills you
despite the looming pain
of emptiness
The scariest part
is the realization
that you have lost yourself
completely
sinking in as you lay awake
At 2am
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can’t even cry
because you don’t even care.
A.D.H
Maybe forever wasn’t for us,
perhaps what we have right now
is all we’re meant to have...
is that so bad?
Let’s live forever right now,
love like there will be no tomorrow.
All we really need is right now.
MSI
<Right Now>
3:19 AM What’s around me is sleep. What’s within me are thoughts dancing on songs I hate to hear.
3:20 AM now And I’m done with this prose— or to put it right, I’m done with this observation.
It is insane how intense I feel your skin on mine even after you left I feel your hands which grab me tight and close like it wasn't your phantom which drives his fingers over my body
How all the water in the world isn’t enough to clean my skin from your touches which imprinted on my body and cover me with paintings I could never draw on my own
You know, even though quarantine is bad and all that. Because of the free time i am having, i have been proud of my accomplishments. I'm actually proud of myself after soo many years of feeling like a piece of shit. School isnt stressing me anymore, so I have been feeling kinda nice after such a long time.