For You - Blog Posts
Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder, had I been a lot like her and less like me, perhaps you'd have fallen in love with 'me' too...
Sometimes I see her down the hallway and wonder, why you loved someone like her? Was it her hazel brown eyes that glistened amber under the Sun or was it her crystal smile and endlessly long hair?
Sometimes I see you sitting in that bench alone, floating away into another paradise, completely consumed by your thoughts. In those moments, I wonder if it's sadness that I feel when I see you, hurt that I couldn't be there too or love for the man who even in pain would choose silence and serenity over everything else. In those moments, I completely lose myself all over again, falling in love with you.
Perhaps I need not be anything like her, for to love a dream like you, one must be something different altogether...
© Raina Rose.
Hey everybody! This is a single from my late brother, Ricky Nappi, off his upcoming album “You Figure It Out”
He produced the beats himself, and wrote all the raps. Unfortunately, he isn’t alive to see his project release. We love him & We did the best we could to honor his legacy. Keep an ear out for the rest coming soon!
And thank you!
🔥 Bonfiya
10 Questions Meme
I was tagged by unluckyycat. (And I'm terribly flattered. Thank you!)
rule 1: always post the rules rule 2: answer the questions from the person who tagged you rule 3: tag 10 people and link them in your post rule 4: let them know you’ve tagged them
1. What names did you like growing up that you wish you could have changed yours to?
Ahah, well. As a child I didn't covet other people's names so much as furtively dislike my own. Still, when I was very little my mother found me out and decided the best course of action was to rechristen me "Stinky Mud" and only call me that until I admitted that my birth name wasn't so bad after all... Anyway, once I was twelve and could brave the possibility of it happening again (it didn't) I've been going by Jack.
2. What’s your favourite shirt look like?
Mind if I give you the top two? I'm torn between them. (It feels like there's some kind of awful fabric pun in there somewhere, but I'll spare us - this time.)
3. How do you take your hot beverage of choice?
Coffee. That's my choice hot beverage, and I take it with sweetened condensed milk and a touch of vanilla. That, or with two sugar cubes and a splash of cream. 4. Any scars with cool stories you’d care to share?
Oh, there are a few - I'm prone to minor accidents. Lately my favorites are these, though:
That's what happens when you carelessly scrape chopped vegetables from your cutting board into a skillet full of overheated oil. In uprolled sleeves.
5. What’s the best bad decision you’ve ever made?
This one's been boggling my mind since I first read it through, and I think it's because I ultimately can't regard a decision as having been a bad one if it produced a good result. But I've got it now:
One morning on the bus to my high school I was pressed against the window listening to Joy Division on my CD player, when I heard a voice I didn't recognize cutting through the music. Worse, no matter how high I turned the volume, or how hard I crushed the earphones up against my ears, I couldn't come close to drowning her out. Usually, this early, everyone on the bus was half-asleep - but I could hear every word out of this girl's mouth with infuriating clarity. By the time we hit the schoolyard I was livid. So when I noticed my friend Ringo kicking his heels outside around the back of the bus I marched myself right up to the toes of his boots and launched into a tirade, complete with a mocking imitation of what I considered to be one of the more ridiculous parts of her overheard conversation - something to do with her boyfriend incorrectly registering on her caller ID as "Robert Smith", and it being fate because she was such a fan of The Cure. I think I was positively snorting with derision at this point. (As you might have gathered by now, sophomore carletoncolton was a bit of an ass.) And that's when Ringo cut in, "That's my girlfriend".
Haha... honestly, I don't remember how I didn't faint after that what with all the blood draining out of my face. The upshot of it all is, that when Ringo told the girlfriend in question what I'd said she only laughed. We're BFFLs now. 6. Do you remember most of your dreams when you wake up?
For the most part, no, I don't - unless they're either so mundane that I worry for the health of my imagination, or so strange that I'm convinced someone else must've dreamed them.
Example of the former: I have a recurring dream where all that happens is that I wake up in my S.O.'s house, don a pair of my politer, more presentable pajamas, and sit down to a meal at the counter bar or the dining room table. I eat it alone, in silence, with an especially small fork, and then pack my dishes away in the dishwasher when I've finished. That's it, really. I have noticed, though, that if it's after dark in the dream then everyone else is asleep, the cat included, the windows closed and all the blinds shuttered, with only the light over the kitchen sink on. And if it's light out, then all the windows and doors are open, the sun is scorching and almost too bright, and the house is empty. Excepting me and the cat, of course.
Example of the latter: About a week ago I had an unsettlingly detailed dream in which my seventeen-year-old brother, a very technical person with an eye for coding and computer hardware assembly, helped me into a full military-grade black stealth camouflage suit complete with mask and night-vision goggles. Think Splinter Cell, Metal Gear, that sort of thing. He handled all the closures and straps on the back of the suit and I the ones in front. It was dark outside, and we were standing in my old bedroom at my great-grandfather's house as it looked before I moved in - unfurnished, with pastel pink and blue wallpaper. We were crowded near the small open widow; the neighbor's security spotlight, bolted over their garage door, filtered through the chain link fence and gave the whole scene a harsh yellow quality. My brother and I didn't speak, but stared unblinkingly at each other, faces neutral. Our entire family has nearly identical dark brown eyes and I remember being uncomfortably aware of the similarity just then. The whole thing had a hushed, anticipatory quality about it... but the oddest part was that we both knew we were doing this so I could sneak through the window and pick blackberries from the field across the street before the sun came up. In the (real) morning I rolled out of bed bewildered and craving them. 7. What are you hoping happens this week for you?
It'd be everything if I got a response out of any, really any, of the job applications I've sent out recently. Or ever. 8. What’s the biggest, most exciting travel destination of your dreams?
My family has never been more than a lost paycheck or two away from eviction, between evictions, so we haven't ever traveled other than to visit relatives - and that was with help. I've been resigned to things remaining the same way for me all my life for years now. So... I haven't got one. Still, I would like to go back to southern Georgia someday. To visit. I can't say that I enjoyed living there; as a mixed-race asexual atheist it could be distinctly unpleasant, even if only the first and last of those descriptors were obvious to the people around me. The place itself, though... sometimes I have dreams about kneeling outside in the knee-high grass at night, curling my fingers into the red soil, or lying on my roof in the summer until the searing heat of the sun overhead permeates my body to the bone and I see the veins illuminated in my closed eyelids. I'm always cold on some level, in Michigan. 9. How many songs are on your MP3 player of choice? Do you listen to them all?
I could tell you exactly if I hadn't lost it like the bumbler I am, haha. My YouTube favorites playlist, though, has one hundred and sixty-five songs on it, all of which I do listen to. Add my other, artist-specific lists (Lana Del Rey, Blur, Gorillaz, Damon Albarn, Massive Attack, etc.), and that number goes up to three hundred and nine. Less than I'd have thought, actually. 10. Any tattoos? Any plans for more/your first one?
No, and no. Well. There aren't any concrete plans.
Aaaaand done! *pats brow* Whew. Call me a poor sport, but this time 'round I won't be writing any new questions or tagging anyone - the way I write, if I ever wanted to get this thing posted sacrifices had to be made. (;¬_¬) That, and I've already tagged just about everyone I think'd tolerate me asking once before.
FINALLY COMING TO REALIZATION
( if you don’t want to read the whole thing which I don’t blame you lol scroll down to the last bit <3 )
I have officially decided that i have everything i want and don’t care if the 3d shows me different because i know it’s not real. i am done entertaining the old story. I have stopped caring about irrelevant things . I’m living as the person who has already has it. if i got it in imagination then im good. i have became the person i always wanted to be.
that was a little vaunt/rant i wanted to say before i get into what i really want to talk about. I have came to the realization that i have been wasting time and energy into methods. (If you like/love doing methods and it works for you then keep continuing to do so <3) I tried meditating , the lullaby method,yoga nidra and so much more. when i found another method i gave up on the method doing before and went to the next. I even went back to the previous methods that did not work for me the first time desperately hoping that they would work. I was seeing angel numbers everyday multiple times (still do) so that was giving me hope. There were times i would get frustrated with the void/the law and just cry. Now im going to tell you what i personally think held me back ( btw i no longer identify with these things anymore!) i always used to procrastinate a lot and i would give myself these lectures and still did the same thing i told myself I was not going to do. I started getting more into states i found it interesting kinda. I even made an alter ego ( Miss Arianna Avalyń) that did help me with confidence I still use avalyń time from time. all Im really trying to say is the power is not in the method but its within YOU. I thought I had to affirm for hours or certain amount of time for the affirmations to really work but now I consider affirming once saturating my mind because it repeats a zillion times. I made my own rules. I’ve gotten into the state of knowing I already have what I want and don’t have to do anything else. most important part⇩
To make this simpler : YOU have all the power and control. YOU make the rules. YOU are God. everything starts and ends with YOU. YOU are limitless and YOU can do this <3 !
Rave & Star <3 .
I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe.
————————————————————————————-
Distractions;
Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts.
-Draw something
-This website translates the time into colours.
-Create your own galaxy.
-Play flowing.
-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like.
-Listen to music.
-Calm.
-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.
Sleep issues;
- 8 hour sleep music.
-Rainy mood.
-Meditation.
-Coping with nightmares.
-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.
-Calm
-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively.
Uncomfortable with silence;
-Rainy mood.
-10 hours of rain and thunder.
-3 hours of rain and thunder.
-Human heartbeat.
-Rainforest.
-Sound of rain on a tin roof.
-Autumn wind.
-Rain on a tent
-Traffic in the rain.
-Soft traffic.
-Fan.
-Train.
-Simply noise.
-My noise.
-Rainy cafe.
Anxiety;
-How to stop worrying.
-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.
-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques.
-Self-help strategies for anxiety.
-Helping a friend with anxiety.
-All about worrying.
-8 myths about anxiety.
Sad, angry and depressed/depression;
-“I’m always sad”
-Feeling sad.
-Going through trauma.
-“I’m always angry”.
-Anger management.
-All about anger.
-National helplines and websites.
-Self-help strategies for depression.
-Dealing with depression at work.
-Dealing with depression at school.
Isolation and loneliness;
-Pets and mental health.
-All about loneliness.
-“I feel so alone”
-10 more ideas to help with loneliness.
-How to deal with loneliness.
Self-harm;
-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.
-146 things to do besides self-harm.
-More alternatives to self-harm.
-Self-harm alternatives.
-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.
-Getting rid of scars.
Addiction;
-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.
-What is addiction?
-All about alcohol and addiction.
-The facts about drug addiction.
Eating disorders;
-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.
-Eating disorder treatments.
-Support services for eating disorders.
-Self-help tips with eating disorders.
-Eating disorder recovery.
-Recovering from an eating disorder.
-100+ reasons to recover.
-Understanding and managing eating disorders.
Dealing with self-hatred;
-3 ways to ease self-loathing.
-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.
-Self-hatred resources.
-10 step plan to deal with self-hate.
Suicidal;
-International suicide hotlines (1) (2)
-Preventing suicide.
-Reasons to stay alive.
-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.
-Coping with suicidal ideation.
Schizophrenia;
-All about schizophrenia.
-Helping a person with schizophrenia.
-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.
-Delusions and hallucinations.
OCD;
-Managing your OCD at home.
-Overcoming OCD.
-How to cope with OCD.
-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments.
Borderline personality disorder;
-Helping someone with BPD.
-All about personality disorders.
-Treatment for BPD.
Abuse;
-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships.
-Emotional abuse
-Overcoming sexual abuse.
-Hotlines services.
-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship.
-Domestic violence support.
-Signs of an abusive relationship.
-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship.
-Surviving abuse.
-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed.
-Sexual assault support.
-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused.
Bullying;
-How to stand up against bullying.
-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.
-How to help stop people bullying you.
Loss and grief;
-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.
-Grieving for a stranger.
-Common reactions to death.
-Working through grief.
(Other loss and grief)
-Moving away from friends and family.
-Coping with a breakup.
Getting help;
-Seeking help early.
-All about psychological treatments.
-Types of help.
-All about age and confidentiality.
Things you need to remember;
- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.
-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not.
- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this.
-You are not alone.
-You are enough.
-You are important.
-You are worth it.
-You are strong.
-You are not a failure,
-Good people exist.
-Reaching out shows strength.
-Breathe.
-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you.
-Give yourself credit.
-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones.
-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend.
-Focus on the things you can change.
-Let go of toxic people.
-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do.
-Try not to beat yourself up.
-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next.
-You are not a bother.
-Your existence is more than your appearance.
-You are smart.
-You are loved.
-You are wanted.
-You are needed.
-Better days are coming.
-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright.
-You have more potential than you think.
- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.
Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x
if you’re ever having a bad day, just listen to my dad’s laugh.
Watch "Best School Gadgets On Amazon 2022 | School Gadgets On Amazon 2022" on YouTube
...again, nobody asked, but here’s another Derry Girls wallpaper from my dad’s favorite episode of the whole show lol
7/05/24
In these shared moments,
I find a sacredness,
a privilege to be a part of your routine,
to be the one you reach out to,
the name that lights up your screen.
Every call, a heartbeat,
every exchange, a pulse of joy,
and in the spaces between,
a profound gratitude blooms,
for the simple, extraordinary gift,
of being a small ritual in your life.
6/27/24
1 month
An inexplicable tightness grips my chest,
when the thought of losing you intrudes,
a shadow darkening the edges of my mind,
turning peace into a turbulent storm.
I’ll be what you desire, whatever form,
a steadfast friend, a silent companion,
confidant, my presence offered freely, without claim.
Content to be a part of your existence,
to share your world, even from a distance.
Each moment with you is a cherished gift,
a fragile thread that binds my heart to yours,
for losing you again would be an endless night,
a void too vast for words to ever fill.
So I remain, whatever you need me to be,
grateful just to be a part of your world.
I think she waited just for us
6/25/24 10:30am
Mid-morning stretches, the world waking,
but the moon waits, patient,
a silver sentinel in the sky.
You tell me you see her too.
Miles dissolve in that moment,
as we sit apart yet together,
eyes lifted, hearts bound
by the moon’s gentle persistence.
She is beautiful, you say,
and in that beauty, we find a connection.
No words needed, just the understanding
that for now, the moon is ours.
A letter to your heart
I have spent countless hours over the years ruminating on my actions. There is no way to express the depth of my regret and sorrow for the pain I caused you. I was willfully blind to the ways my anger and inner turmoil spilled over, my words cutting into you like daggers. You of all people did not deserve to bear the brunt of my unresolved shit. Your love was the light of my life, a light I dimmed with my own darkness. I see how my actions shattered you, making it difficult for you to open your heart again. Being afraid to love, burdened by scars I left on your heart, is a weight I should have to carry. Not you. You, who's love is a precious treasure. I hope you know how incredible you are, someone deserving of a love that is gentle, kind, and unwavering. I hope you can find a way to open your heart to someone who worships the ground you walk on. Who shows you the love and reverence you well deserve. While I am profoundly sorry for everything, I will never ask for forgiveness or another chance, I simply want to acknowledge that you deserve so much better than what I gave you. And I want to thank you for allowing me back into your life. It's more than I could've dreamed of.
Eternally yours
How devoted the sea is to the moon
Across the vastness, I feel the pull, A force unseen but ever-present, Binding my spirit to yours, As the sea yields to the moon’s silent command. Stars drift in their eternal waltz, Planets spin in celestial harmony, Yet my heart finds its orbit Around the essence of you. No barriers hold the tide of my longing, No distance dilutes the depth of my yearning. In dreams, we meet where time dissolves, Two souls entwined, beyond the reach of moments. You are the constant, as the moon, In a universe of endless flux. I am the wave, relentless, drawn To the shore where you stand waiting.
I have no right
I have no right to miss you,
though your voice graces my days,
a familiar melody
A comfort I don’t deserve.
We speak, and in those moments,
I feel the warmth of what we had,
a bond truer than true,
a love I hold in reverence.
Gratefulness fills the gaps
where longing tries to creep in.
I’m thankful just to know you,
to share these hours of conversation.
I have no right to miss you,
but my soul is quietly grateful
for the chance to hear your voice,
to feel a part of your world.
I have no right to miss you,
but I do, endlessly, fervently,
with every beat of my regretful heart,
with every breath I take.
Your voice = euphoria
6/15/24
Your voice a stream, gentle and unceasing,
flows through the corridors of my being.
Each word, a note, delicate and clear,
touches the core, awakening something deep.
In the morning, your whispers break the dawn,
softly calling the day into being.
At night, your tone cradles the dark,
bringing a calm that settles the stars.
The world is a tapestry of sounds,
but your voice, a thread that weaves through,
creating patterns only the soul can see,
a quiet song that lifts the heart.
In the presence of your voice, I am whole,
each syllable a breath that fills my soul.
Risk
6/12/24
In the quiet depths of hesitation,
Lies the echo of spoken desire.
To leap into the unknown expanse,
Is to dance with the shadows of fear.
Risk, a silent companion,
Whispers of both joy and pain.
In the void of certainty's absence,
We’ll find the truth of our fate.
A journey embarked, uncharted,
Navigating the maze of possibility.
For in the gamble of the unknown,
Lies the canvas of our truest selves.
In this venture, you will never be alone
Hand in Hand, we’ll brave the void.
For in the leap, we find surety
With a shared breath of “if you jump, I jump.”
Just one more shot for you)
I love my girlfriend so much??? Like how dare you??? You’re just??? So cute???
Vulnerable for You
There is more to me
Then you are willing to know
But if you decide to care
I guess i can show
You the parts of myself
That i hide
Beneath my skin
Deep down inside
I guess i am trying to say
I love you
Bueno! acá esta! al fin pude publicarlos :D
espero sean de tu agrado @pewpinkiepie