Ftm Passing - Blog Posts
Passing tips for (masculine) trans men.
Wear men’s t-shirts, band shirts, or graphic t-shirts. For the love of god, don’t wear flannels. I’ve tried it out and trust me when I say it won’t help you pass any better. This sounds harsh but, flannels are ugly.
If you can, cut your hair shorter. Cut it yourself, hairdressers usually feminize shorter hair styles on people they assume are women. Don’t cut your hair too short, you’ll end up looking like a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but, you’re not a woman.
Don’t smile at strangers, make yourself appear more reserved and calm. Women are more likely to show their emotions to others to seem more friendly or approachable. Don’t be an asshole though.
Walk with confidence and purpose, keep your back straight and your head up. This may be difficult if you have anxiety or are a shy person, but it helps a lot. It shows people that you are not afraid of who you are.
Try taking up as much space as you can when you’re sitting: spread your legs, don’t cross them. Don’t make yourself appear small. If you have a habit of crossing your legs, instead put your ankle on your knee.
Look people in the eyes when talking to them, If this is difficult then look between their eyebrows, it gives the illusion that you’re looking at their eyes.
Don’t dye your hair, I know that most trans people love to express themselves through their hair but dyed hair will get you clocked faster. If you want to dye your hair, then dye it a natural color.
Start working out, lifting dumbbells and doing push-ups helps a lot when gaining muscles. Don’t overdo this though, over-exercising is not good for you.
You can use makeup to contour your face in a masculine way, google should give you instructions on how to do this.
If you have thin eyebrows, don’t use makeup to make them appear bushier, instead dye your eyebrows a darker color.
Keep your voice monotonous and subdued when speaking. Even if you have a high pitched voice, it should help with passing.
Keep your speech direct and assertive. Curse more, speak more comfortably too.
Don’t let your nails grow out, cut them if you think they’re too long.
If you feel comfortable enough, don’t shave your legs/armpits/arms/etc.
Study the way cis men act, copy them and find what’s best for you.
I'm unsure if people read Pass the same way I do.
It feels like some people think of it as a Passing grade kinda thing, "you have met the bar" energy and shit on it for that.
Whereas I think of it as Passing by unnoticed, like that's why it's "going stealth" which, y'know, I'm not playing hide and seek, it's not for shits and giggles I'm trying to not be noticed.
Is that just me?
Tips For Passing as Male I Accidentally Stumbled Upon While Minding My Own Genderfluid Business:
(Btw everyone deserves to be gendered correctly no matter how they act, these are just some tips that you may try if you would like.)
1. Keep your posture open. Feet shoulder width apart and pointing out, shoulders back, chest forward, energy all directed outward. Even though you may think openness makes your chest or stature more obvious, the energy/confidence is what people notice first, not the content.
2. That said, you don’t have to hold yourself like a peacock the whole time. I’ve learned that people go off the assumption they make when first meeting you, and then don’t really look again - so if the first thing they see is a cis guy, you can relax after that, they rarely double check.
3. When it seems appropriate, offer a handshake when meeting people, especially other guys, and hold a little tighter than is strictly natural. I know it sounds stupid, but it goes far; I’ve been offered more handshakes by guys these past 2 years of somewhat masc presentation than I have all 16 previous years combined. Guys just be shakin hands w/ each other
4. Again, when it makes sense, consider “dapping up” a guy if you know each other, traditionally when you part ways. To do this, proffer your dominant hand in a loose C shape like you’re holding an invisible cup, and when they clasp theirs with yours, lift the hands a few inches in the air and then lower them and release on the way down (sometimes accompanied by opposite hand on the tricep/shoulder, I.e. bro hug. Istg the things men do 💀)
5. If you have the space and it won’t annoy anyone, manspread a bit when you sit
6. Keep your head lifted when you’re out in public - makes your jaw look broader and suggests confidence, I.e. keeping posture open
7. If you want your voice to sound lower, try humming a low note while you’re alone to see how that feels in your throat and know where that timbre comes from in your chest. It’s easier to regulate your voice on command when you experiment, find the strings to pull in yourself to bring out the low sound.
8. Consider peppering in an “as much as the next guy” in conversation. Subtle phrase, but stakes your claim clearly
9. Exude some extra anti-shyness around guys. Make a point to nod to them in greeting and make eye contact like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Little gestures of brazenness go a long way to say “we’re the same”
10. When speaking to a group of guys, try matching their vocal patterns and tone: if they say “like” and “dude” a lot for example, pepper those in too. This works in all situations actually, it will make you seem agreeable and similar to anyone, but it especially works well when you’re trying to blend in with a crowd
11. Clothes with flannel and wool are really good for disguising characteristics you might want to hide
12. Try darkening these areas (outlined in blue) of your face with eyeshadow a bit darker than your skin tone. Eyeshadow blends with skin texture better than things like foundation and it’s hard to smudge, so it’s usually unnoticeable while it adds depth and sharpness to these areas.
