Parents always say this:
"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to expect more of you."
"You're smart. Therefore, I don't have to care how I explain things to you."
"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to assume that any mistakes you make are intentional."
"You're smart. Therefore, if you say that you struggle with something, it's okay for me to assume that you're just lazy, afraid, lacking confidence, lacking motivation, or any other excuse to dismiss your struggles as fake.
but never this:
"You're smart. Therefore, I will put my authority aside and consider the possibility that you are right and I am wrong.
Like any abusive authority figure, they want you to be smart enough to uphold their authority but not smart enough to challenge their authority.
I just told my partner of over a year that I've been looking into both an autism and an ADHD diagnosis.
It did not go too well.
Nothing has changed. My 165-195 range of raads-r scores didn't suddenly make me a different person just because he knows now. I think we're still together but I want to scream.
Is there a name for being that person who is always reprimanded for "wasting potential" or "not applying yourself" constantly, until one day, you magically outperform your usual self. But it never lasts. It lasts a day, at worst and maybe a few months, at best. But everyone is finally proud of you and they come to expect it from you and you're just thinking "No...please. I can't do this with consistency... This was just a fluke." And then once you're back to normal production (maybe worse if you tried to keep overachieving), they're back to "You're not trying hard enough."
Is there a name for it? Am I the only one?
At first, I couldn’t relate to all the other people with gifted burnout when they talked about perfectionism. My academic perfectionism had died already...but then I started working and good freaking grief. It happened. I made my first mistake on the first day and almost cried. It was something so small that I couldn’t have known better because I’d never worked retail, but it messed me up. Then, I made more mistakes and felt even worse. I might quit soon
My mom literally tried to say she knew about the neurodivergencies, but they “Didn’t matter because they didn’t affect your academics” even though i constantly got spanked for bad grades. You would think I would learn my lesson the first ten times. She didn’t know about the possible adhd and autism anyway. No one was allowed to make implications about her “gifted” children.
Why is it that my brother and I had the same gifted burnout, but he got got diagnosed with adhd and got meds, but I got nothing? I line up with a lot of both autism and adhd traits, but “No, you don’t have autism, no way. Mayyyybe just a little adhd. You’re just quirky” as if having autism is so horrible