Heart Break - Blog Posts
I’d love nothing more than to hold your heart in my hands, to finally have something good in my life. But I can’t. For I’m too afraid that with one touch, your light will disappear and you’ll fade away; Because I’ve learned that everything I love always leaves me broken, in the dark.
A.R.
haunted
your ghost
still leaves kisses
on my cheek to
make sure
i never
forget you
a.r.
i think there’s a reason
why former love tears us apart
it’s so one day
when we find our other half
we know what it feels like
to truly be whole
🌞🌻🌞
“Recovery is a process. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes everything you’ve got.”
— Unknown
Roses once red now they just dead 🥀 🌹.. whatever 🙄 .. she's happy 😊😔
you’re making playlists you and him will listen to on the road now. i’m nothing if not only in your rearview mirror. enjoy the trip, bitch
No one talks about leaving,
Realizing one day, a day you woke up feeling as if it was going to be any other day, that you no longer love the person the same. The small things you once loved that they put so much effort to go unnoticed. How is it that you woke up and realized you were okay living without them when one day you feared losing them. I think it hurts too, having to tell the person you never planned on being without that things are just not the same and when they ask why, what is there to say? "I woke up on a seemingly normal Wednesday and I realized that you no longer made me feel those puke-worthy butterflies. That I knew I would be okay without you." How do you put that feeling into words? I don't think I will ever be able to give you the answer you deserve and for that I'm Sorry...
She was covered in flowers, blooms of every scent and hue. Yet, she was so alone— the kind of loneliness that could kill. Imagine tombstones, not of the forgotten, but of the murdered, adorned with flowers of all sorts. People had spoiled her with flowers.
On Valentine's Eve.
You shouldn't forget
darling
the crucial reality
that you are,loving people.
There needs alter,
there priorities,
there formulas,
their determinations.
Like weather
they, at times
dont come as forecasted
and that lamentably
bears on there love
to you
and impacts there
anticipations too.
Meaning of words.
You said then
that
my love murders
you in a beautiful
way
and that you don't
think of an
existence without
it
so in that i
thought you
would go extinct
upon our failure.
But as time grows
all i have seen is a you
blooming.
Was it a lie ?
and my love
was totally a nothing
to you ?
please
please tell
me
and tell
the one
murdering you
now
not to highly think
of things for
all of it is
just a jumble of
words.
And the prominent
question man
is not in who
loves us,
but
in who returns
the love
when we offer
it first.
The problem was perhaps that I existed, and you existed. We could not overlook each other, yet all we ever offered one another was pain and bitter memories.
All the romance. All the dreams. All the love. we thought to give but never did, at some point fades away and we are left to settle with anything that works. In the end its only what we never wanted to become, to have, to reflect that we cheer with.
I wish I were Heather
I wish I were Heather. That’s not her name but now everyone knows what I mean since Conan Gray explained it to us.
I wish I were her. Not only because she is one of the prettiest human beings I’ve ever seen and not because she is just as nice as an angel and vibes positivity, but because someone told me how you are feeling about her.
“He’s in love with her.” I guess that sentence will reverberate in my mind for quite some time. I still remember feeling the sadness crawling up my throat and stopping me from breathing. Gasping as the pain slowly sunk into my bones. That’s where it’s still sitting right now.
I wish I were her. Not only because she is closer to your age and she has already been friends with the people you hang out with before they even knew me and not because she lives closer to town so you somehow always end up at hers whenever you don’t have a ride home, but because I feel you drifting away from me while you seem to be getting closer to her.
I know you love me. Your brother basically tried to tattoo that onto my forehead because he knows how much I doubt it sometimes and how easy it is for me to put myself down. But I don’t think you know it.
What you know is that your sisters love me. The little one begging the older one to convince you to marry me one day and the older one telling me, smiling and nodding her head, that she can see it as well and she is praying that you won’t fuck it up. You know that.
You know that your brother loves me. Not as much as your ex, but “super fucking close” as he always says. I get it, he’s best friends with her so I totally get it. And I am thankful for your brother because he is the mental support I need whenever I feel stuck with our situation. He’ll tell me you love me, he’ll tell me your family loves me and he’ll tell me that he loves me most. Because he likes the you that you are when I’m around and he thanks me for making you happy again after such a dark time in your life.
And as much as they tell me that you love me I still wish I were her. Because as much as I loved seeing how happy you are with me, the more it breaks my heart to see how your eyes sparkle around her.
I loved building you up and I loved how you helped me to build up myself again, but I guess it’s her turn now. She gets what I built.
That’s why I wish I were her.
...
...
And to add something that fits with Conan Grays song a little bit more: I once took your sweater when you gave me your keys to go get the wine and when I came back and you saw me in your sweater, you said I looked like the smallest bean you’ve ever seen and threw me over your shoulder. We laughed. We were happy...You never gave her your sweater, the one you left me was cotton, not polyester. I still wish I were Heather.
Spilled ink
Her dark hair is falling over her naked shoulder and nape.
Spilling all over the white linen sheets like a writers mistake.
My first ever book is now on wattapad. Do read and let me know how it is...
Strangers
We are now nothing but strangers. With broken promises, unsaid words, lost love and forgotten dreams. We are now strangers with just spilled love and hate.
Suddenly I thought of you today, just a simple passing thought of You. That's all
You are just there and the silence has torn us apart.
what they say is true...
you can't save someone who doesn't wanna be saved.
Hey there..
I tried numerous ways to get your attention..
but to no avail..
I waited and waited my eyes searching for yours..
but to no avail..
I made a fool of myself for you..
All for you..
Yet..
Why am I the one on the hurting side...
Why am I the only one on the losing side...
Why should it end this way...
Everytime... everytime..
My favourite places now have your scent..
My melody now forgotten... I hear only your name..
Can you help me out of this mess.. can you save me from my ruined palace.?
Can you take my hand and lie that it'll be okay..?
Can you give me your fake promises once again..?
Because this heart is fragile now.. it can't bear the same loss once again..
So darling stay.. stay
Stay till I go to sleep again
Stay stay stay till I find the courage to cry again.
Please stay.
Overthinking
I overthink,
I overthink and overlove,
I overcompensate,
I give my pieces away,
Little by little each day,
These days I have been tired of my heart..
breaking in pieces each day.
I overthink and overlove but
Losing my sanity each moment just feels the perfect escape.
I overthink and overlove but I hope one day someone might accept me this way.