Avoidance as social perfectionism.
“This relationship will be doomed from the start … so there’s no point trying to make friends.”
“I’ll inevitably say stuff wrong and make things awkward … so there’s no point in starting a conversation.”
“I might be having a good day, but I won’t always be energetic, clever and likable … so there’s no point in reaching out.”
These examples share some common links:
negative self-esteem
avoidance of anxiety/discomfort
seeking control and certainty
trying to meet others’ expectations, or avoid disappointing them
Thoughts, anybody?
(more here!)