5. "I'm experiencing a rare sensitivity to [current weather]."
Used For: Avoiding outdoor activities (changes reason based on conditions)
Effectiveness: 7/10 - Teachers assume it's a chronic condition and stop questioning
4. "My circadian rhythms require recalibration."
Used For: Skipping early morning classes
Effectiveness: 6/10 - McGonagall's eyebrow twitches but she allows it once per lunar cycle
3. "The moon’s in retrograde." (Not a real thing.)
Used For: Avoiding having to watch Quidditch practices (James buys it; Sirius cackles).
Effectiveness: 8/10 – James panics and asks if he needs chicken soup.
2. "I've developed an unfortunate reaction to [nearby object]." (gestures vaguely)
Used For: Leaving uncomfortable situations
Effectiveness: 8/10 - Works best in potions class where plausible accidents happen
1. "I'm presently engaged in critical lunar research."
Used For: Leaving any situation with an air of academic importance
Effectiveness: ∞/10 - Works best when said while holding a chocolate bar as if it's research equipment
0. "I’m legally required to lie down." (No such law exists.)
Used For: Everything. Everything.
Effectiveness: ∞/10 – Even McGonagall lets it slide once.
"I can’t, I’m allergic to... this conversation."
Used On: Sirius, who immediately throws a pillow at him.
Verdict: "Try harder, Moony."