Jason: Hey, Nick, quick question. How much is 256 multiplied by 24?
Nick: Do I look like a calculator to you?
Jason:
Joey:
Merwin:
Nick, sighing: 6,144.
Nick: Are you gonna go talk to Eric?
Rachel: If he really wants to talk to me, he can come to my room. On his hands and knees.
(Zain slinking in after a night out)
Salim: What did you have?
Zain: Two glasses of lemonade and, like, five mints... :(
Salim: Go to bed.
Zain: Yes sir.
Jason: They should have a great American bake-off.
Salim: What would they bake, machine guns??
Jason: The alphabet is somewhere between 25-27 letters.
Nick: Oh yeah, it used to be 28 but they got rid of some letters due to budget cuts.
Jason, counting on his fingers: No, yeah, it's 26.
Nick: THAT WASN'T A BIT?!?!?!?
Salim: Jason, what is your favourite book?
Jason: Favorite book? ...Do Kim Kardashian's tweets count?
Salim: ...No.
Rachel: Want to take a stab at being social?
Clarisse: I do like stabbing.
Jason: why do the vampires keep trying to kill us?
Salim: maybe they’re homophobic
Jason: we’re not gay, Salim
Salim: we're not???
Salim: you often use humor to deflect trauma
Jason: thank you!
Salim: that is not a good thing.
Jason: what i’m hearing is you think i’m funny
Nick: What's your favorite color?
Rachel: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.
Nick: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?
Rachel: My favorite color is blue.
Jason: sticks and stones may break my bones-
Salim, nodding solemnly: but chains and whips excite me.
Jason, wheezing: nO! WHAT THE FUCK?!
Jason: I don’t think Rachel is very happy with you
Eric: why do you think that?
Jason, reading Eric’s phone: “Dear Eric, I hope this message finds you before I do.”
Rachel: now, Eric, I know we don’t always see eye-to-eye on things, but i need you to be prof-
Eric: It’s because you’re short
Rachel:
Eric:
Eric, sweating: I take it back
Salim: no i’m not tired of being nice, yes i still just wanna go apeshit, these things can coexist, stop asking me
Nick: *throws shade*
Rachel: pick it up. Now.
Rachel: Why are you smiling? Nick: What, can't I just be happy? Jason: Eric tripped and fell outside.
Nick: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with Eric?
Rachel: YOU WHAT?!
Nick: Fuck, it wasn't that.
Jason: ow! son of a bi-
Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!
Jason: … isexual. son of a bisexual.
Zain: i made you a friendship bracelet.
Jason: you know, i'm not really a jewellery person.
Zain: well you don't have to wear it if you don't want t-
Jason: no, i'm gonna wear it forever, back off!
Salim: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Jason and I are dating.
Jason, Nick, Rachel, and Eric: *gasp*
Salim: Jason, why are you surprised?!
Nick: Jason, Are you free this Friday at 8:00 pm?
Jason: I guess, yeah.
Nick: And what about you, Salim?
Salim: Yes, I am.
Nick, clapping his hands together and smiling: Great! Because I’m not. You two have fun on your date!
Jason: Wait-
Salim: Did he just-?
Jason: We can’t have Salim come to his party yet. The sign’s not finished- it’s supposed to say ‘Salim’s Birthday’
Nick: What does it say now?
Jason: ‘Salim’s Bi’.
Jason:
Jason: Nevermind, that’s perfect. We’re ready!
Nick: Do you support gay rights?
Jason: I am literally dating Salim.
Clarisse: He's dodging the question.
Pre-marines Jason: it’s always ‘how high are you’ and not ‘hi, how are you?’
Jason: How do you know how to kiss? like who teaches you?
Salim: Well it’s actually a class, but sadly it’s full at the moment now.
Salim: Would you like private lessons?
Nick: Damn that was smooth.
Jason: Salim and I don't have pet names for each other
Nick: what do bees make?
Jason: Honey?
Nick: huh, really thought that would work
Jason: ha! You idiot
Salim, from another room: yeah?
Jason: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Nick: Did Salim say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Jason: DUE TO PERSONAL REASONS–
Jason: Be myself? I have a day to win over Zain. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Nick: Couple weeks.
Rachel: Six months.
Eric: Jury’s still out.
Jason: See? “be yourself”, seriously, Nicky? What kind of garbage advice is that?
Rachel: I spy with my little eye something that starts with 's'.
Nick: *looks at Jason and Salim*
Nick: Is it 'sexual tension'?
Salim: it’s been a rough 24 hours, we could stand to do something stupid
Jason: I’m something stupid, do me