28 April (Diff Eq.)
The struggle has been very real over the course of the last week. I failed a test (it was in the teens), my mom is still in the hospital, and some days are definitely better than others, but I am holding on.
I can’t in good faith give up everything that I’ve worked so hard to build. I have also been procrastinating. The Howard deadline is 30 April, and tbh I haven’t put my all into it (despite really wanting to attend the school).
Small update, but that’s all for today.
Stay up✌🏿
🎧 Trappin in Japan 4 - Ryan Celsius
It is honestly saddening that I used to have to deal with this. Reposting for the fact that there are a lot of black students who have succumb to this mentality. Be proud of your education.
23 April (life update)
So, keeping things honest I’m not doing the best right now friends. Over the course of the last 2 weeks one of my parents had a heart attack and the other is now on life support.
I really appreciate all of you who continue to support me and this study blog.
Morale of the story is that bad things happen to all of us, but it’s our actions after the fact that define us
Stay up ✌🏾
🎧 Trappin in paradise 78 - smooth sounds
9 April (The joy of being in STEM)
Today was not the best by any stretch of the imagination. I was fighting myself most of the day trying to get my HW done despite putting in good time to try and complete it, the topics just aren’t resonating.
I find myself once again dragging behind the rest of my peers despite studying just as hard as they do. Sadly, I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually had a weekend to myself, or a nice moment that wasn’t overshadowed by the crippling weight of school.
I wish there were more instructors who truly understood that different students have different needs.
Stay up✌🏿
🎧 Einaudi: Fox Tracks (Day 1) - Ludovico Einaudi
7 April (Calc 4: happy exhaustion)
Today was rough, but I feel like I’m getting the hang of maximum and minimum values (thank you so much Lagrange).
I will say that I’m running into a bit of an existential crisis as far as my career is concerned. I feel like I really enjoy physics and am going to love making a job out of it, but this online learning environment is painful.
I want to actually do physics now that I have a better mathematical understanding, but at the same time I can only put forth so much effort in a class that has no social interaction. I can’t help but feel neglected considering I know how amazing my physics instructor is and knowing I’ll never officially have a “class” with him.
I’ve been struggling with my BPD as of late and it’s making me a bit more emotional than normal, but I’m taking strides to work through my issues.
A bit of positive news, I’m getting more comfortable on my skateboard, and am looking to land my first heelflip soon
You are strong
Now go change the world
Stay up ✌🏿
🎧 The Watchtower - Sigimund