I Wrote This - Blog Posts

I cried on my birthday again.

It was expected. It's been a few years since I've last had a happy, tearless birthday.

I've had happy birthday parties, get togethers with wonderful and hilarious gifts I will always be thankful for. But in the end, I always go to bed, and cry on my birthday.

I don't dislike getting older. There has always been this thrill, what will happen next? Is this the year everything changes? This time, will I truly become something else?

But the thrill tones down. Another month turns into another year, and you forget what it felt like to be seventeen. There's this odd comfort to it. Maybe, this year, nothing will change, and I will stay the person I am, and that doesn't feel so bad.

Sometimes though, it turns into fear. The older I get, the more likely I am to lose the things that matter. I am terrified, so I cry, and hide in the arms of my mother because then I am her child, and it's okay to feel lost again, it's okay to feel the size of the world around me.

Age is a thing so big, while I still feel so small. So unprepared, and a little unsure of where to go next.

So maybe, just in my head, I'll stay eighteen for a while longer. Maybe if I'm not ready, and I don't feel like today is the right day to get older, and I still can't quite let go of that scared, fragile part of me that still has so many things to learn about living as an adult, maybe it's okay. Maybe I'll just keep crying on my birthday.

And maybe one day, I'll have it just a little more figured out.

Original writing! Kinda funny, I guess? I don’t know, read it under the cut and please tell me what you think!!!!!!! I NEED OPINIONS PLEASE!!

Agatha looked at the man in her hallway incredulously. When she looked behind her, around her, even above her, she looked at him again with an arched brow.

“Care to repeat that?” She asked, with not a small amount of skepticism.

He was still beaming, his smile not faltering even in her impromptu search, and his eyes twinkled—yes actually twinkled— as he opened his mouth, straight white teeth gleaming.

“You, my Lady Agatha, have been determined to be the Chosen One of the Great Prophecy and will be the Realm’s Hero!”

That’s what she thought he’d said. He beamed even brighter at her, his teeth twinkling now. This had to be a dream. Or a hallucination. Or she was dead and this was what her brain had decided to conjure up. Why couldn’t she have a nice hallucination like—like eating at a five star hotel? Or even getting to retire with a hefty pension fund?

She pinched herself. It hurt.

Motherfucker.

The silence stretched, and stretched. And he was still smiling. Was there something wrong with him? Her head was blank, devoid of any thoughts except a faint buzzing sound. And then, just to cut off the silence that was becoming a little stifling by now, she blurted the first thing she could.

“But what about my cats?”

The man blinked, his perfect smile faltering for just a moment. His brow furrowed slightly as if the thought of cats hadn’t quite factored into his grand announcement. He opened his mouth, paused, then tilted his head, clearly trying to reassess the situation.

"Your... cats?" he asked, as though the concept of pets was a foreign one.

Agatha nodded. "Yes, my cats. All three of them. Whiskers, Tibbles, and Shadow. Who’s going to feed them? Who’s going to clean their litter boxes? You can’t just expect me to up and leave them!"

The man hesitated, his eyes flickering as though searching for an answer that would satisfy her. "Well, my Lady, surely your noble companions will be well looked after—"

Agatha cut him off with a raised hand. "By who? You? The Realm’s Hero isn’t exactly a part-time gig, is it? I mean, between saving the world and fulfilling the Great Prophecy, when exactly am I supposed to find the time to change the litter? And do you know how picky Whiskers is about his food? He only eats the chicken pâté, and it has to be room temperature." She was rambling now, and her eyes had strayed over to the door she was leaning against. It was dusty, and she winced a little at the state of it. She’d have to remember to dust it soon. Assuming that this ‘Hero’ business didn’t put her out too much.

The man’s smile had faded entirely now, replaced by a look of utter bewilderment. This was not how these proclamations usually went. There was supposed to be awe, excitement, a dramatic embrace of destiny. Not... cats.

Agatha watched as the man struggled to find words, feeling a small sense of satisfaction in his discomfort. She had no idea how to deal with being a "Chosen One," but she was quite adept at handling pushy strangers who thought they could just barge into her life with outlandish demands. Being a wedding planner helped with that. She crossed her arms over her chest, her skepticism growing by the second.

"Listen," she said, her voice softening a bit. "I’m sure saving the,” she had to pause here, remembering his words earlier “Realm is very important and all, but I have a life here. A small life. With cats! You can’t just expect me to drop everything because some prophecy says I’m supposed to. It’s not that simple."

The man finally seemed to regain his composure, standing a little taller and clearing his throat. "My Lady Agatha, the Great Prophecy is not to be taken lightly. The fate of the Realm hangs in the balance, and you are the key to our salvation. Your—" he paused here, much like she did earlier, and he seemed to be clearly struggling with the idea “cats, while surely beloved, are but a small part of a much larger tapestry. Surely you can see the greater good—"

"Stop right there," Agatha interrupted again. "If you’re going to try and guilt-trip me into this, we’re going to have a problem. Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not saying no, okay? I’m just saying I need to think about it. Maybe read up on this prophecy, find out what it actually entails. And, y’know, figure out what to do with my cats." She frowned a little at the end. If the answer was that she had to leave her cats behind, then she was going to have to do a lot of thinking.

The man sighed, the twinkle in his eyes dimming slightly as he realized this conversation was going to be far more complicated than he’d anticipated. How did he do that? "Very well, my Lady," he said, his tone more subdued. "I shall return in three days' time for your decision. In the meantime, I suggest you prepare yourself—both for the journey ahead and for the weight of the responsibility that comes with being the Chosen One."

Agatha nodded, though she wasn’t entirely sure what "preparing herself" meant. Finding a bow & arrow? That seemed very on point with what was happening right now.

The man gave a stiff bow, turned on his heel, and with a flash of light that made Agatha wince and shield her eyes, he vanished from her hallway, leaving her alone with her thoughts—and her cats, who had finally decided to come investigate the commotion.

She looked down at Whiskers, who meowed expectantly. "Well," she said, picking him up and scratching behind his ears, "What do you think? Should I save the world? Or should we just go back to bed and pretend none of this happened?"

Whiskers purred loudly, clearly in favor of the latter option.

Agatha sighed. "Yeah, that’s what I thought."

Quick question, is it wrong of me to post my own story here cause it is darn adorable and everyone needs to see it

They got rid of eda’s arm so no one could make the two hands debate with her

Lately I'm struggling again, with so many things. But the worst is the inability to regulate feelings.

I am so full of love and sorrow at the same time. I'm drowning in myself. Sometimes the emotions come like a flood in the ocean or in waves. And sometimes it's just a mere drop dripping in my brain, my day. But always drowning. Either in the overflow or in the nothingness.

I know I should be able to get out of this alone. Shouldn't depend on anyone! But could you help me out of this misery and guide me back home?

I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I want to show you what I wrote about you. But I'm so afraid. Afraid of what you'll think. Afraid that you won't understand. Because I couldn't even be mad, I barely understand it myself. But I wish I could let you know, but I'm way too afraid of losing you.

(Gefühlschaos)

So oft ist das Leben hart

Aber ich mag dich

Auf eine ganz eigene Art

Und deshalb auch etwas mich

Ich hoffe es wird dich nicht stören

Das ich es mag dich anzusehen

Mag dir zuzuhören

Dich zu verstehen

Mag die Worte die dein Mund verlassen

Mag wie du denkst

Kann es kaum fassen

Wenn du mir ein Lächeln schenkst

Das Bittersüße Gefühl dich zu vermissen

Das Stille Chaos in mir

Würd gern alles von dir wissen

Verbringe so gerne Zeit mit dir

Vielleicht werde ich es wagen,

Wer hätte es geahnt,

Dir irgendwann zu sagen

"Ich mag dich (etwas) mehr als geplant"

Man I thought you’d never ask! Buckle up cause you can probably tell by now I ramble a LOT and I’ll get side tracked at some point. Not all of this will be 100% fact I will most likely change a lot of stuff at some point

First thing first some background/lore

Guardians are people/ beings who travel to different universes and time lines to help their “Champions” who are people Guardians choose to protect and stuff their kinda like guardian angels? But also not? There main goal is to protect their champions and guide them to a better path or the path they’re “supposed” to be on, or just help be the person they want to be and let them know that no matter what their is always someone who is rooting for them and help them fight their battles. The second priority is protecting those their champions cherish and are close to them if their champions are the cause of distress for others champions or what other universes they’re from (for example if they become evil and kill everyone or become the everyday evil) its the Guardians job to try and persuade them to redeem themselves and be as non violent as possible but if they’re champions are to far gone they (guardians) have to put the people around their champions safety first and stop them, best case scenario for that is imprisonment, worst case death. By the time my OCs “become” (force) Guardians whether or not the champions could see the guardians becomes kinda finicky, sometimes their champions can see them sometimes they don’t well most of the time they don’t. And because of that they can’t really do much when it comes to physically helping their champions so if they’re dying they kinda just have to sit there and watch same with the evil stuff some fore would stop them if they try. There’s waaay more of this but I want to talk about the OCs :p!

This is getting really long so this will mostly be just about the two who are mentioned in the memes and their relationships with thier champions in the AU’s. (Also pretty much all of my oc’s are not completely human soo yeah)

Jerico (had this guy since I was ten still unsure of about his name) is Kai’s Guardian and shares canon Kai’s fierce love for his family and protectiveness  as well as the temper Rico’s can just seem to be a lot more…violent? He would a hundred percent kill and maybe torture for his champions if they want but there has to be a “good” reason he will not kill cause it’s funny or because there are people in your way. I don’t really have a lot of thoughts on BE Kai yet But! Jerico would be soo mad at Kai in the scorch AU. He be screaming profanities at him and probably try to shake him as if that would make Kai come to his senses. He would definitely try to reassure Kai’s worries about being replaced on the team and just try to steer  him back to the other ninja but weather that would work or not is up in the air.

Ok now onto the baby Jacobi! He’s the second youngest of the group in world but he’s technically only excited in my head for like 6 years now. Obviously Jay is Jack’s champion, his very first one in fact!  That will be important later for I want to start off with the Storm Vessel AU cause that’s not as angty. One of the agreements Jacobi had with his Dad is that he come home for lunch and dinner when ever he calls ‘‘em over (the same goes for his older brother even though he’s an adult) it doesn’t matter what cries he’s in the middle of with his champion he’s coming over and EAT. (Note I have not read the fic I’ve only seen your post about the AU and this idea just came into my head) So when the sacrifice thing stared jack and his bro was called home and the moment he was gone Jay shows back up and the other guardians immediately starts freaking out and panickly starts coming up with a plan on to fix/explain this to Jacobi before he comes back. And in the middle of arguing about the plans they here Jack shit out of panic in the distance singling to them that he’s back and about to start freaking out to. And that’s all got for Storm Vessel AU time for the angst! Jay is Jacobi’s champion and BE Jay just so happens to be Jacobi’s first instance with dealing with an evil champion and he did not take it well. Skybound is already a pretty stressful season for him (Jay is constantly taking hits and Jack can’t do anything about it) I haven’t read the BE origins fic in a hot minute so I’ll just say in a version of the story where no can see him it storms for weeks around the misfortunes keep after Jay captures the ninja and every one thinks it’s Jay when it’s actually Jacobi (he’s got lightning powers too) When a ninja gets captured by the sword their guardian gets sent back to there own base so it takes a for anyone to come pick Jacobi up so he’s stuck with this cruel version of his champion unable to anything but stew in his anger and sorrow which of course effects the weather around him until someone comes and picks him up. :( You said in a post that no one ever called Jay out for because anyone who could was to scared of him to do so but Jacobi would.not.care. He would be so upset he’s one of the only Guardian to NOT kill for any reason. So he’d only shock Jay or something (cause they most likely be a fight) and run off some where probably to Jay’s parents (I mean how can he not find comfort with them? Look at them!) and hide out in the junkyard until someone picks him up. I’ll probably end up drawing something for both scenarios.

I’ll stop here cause this is REALLY long but thank for asking:) let me know if you want to know more about them just maybe ask more specific ones? Yeah…

I downloaded a meme maker just to this cat meme for the purified au

And then I ended up making a bunch more with my OC’s and your other AUs instead of sleeping so here you go

:]

Me Freestyling

the the crushing weight of our own looming mortality is what both drives us to live and makes us want to give up and natural selection means that people with genetic illness shouldn't have children and if the government did fake the moon landing then what was the point of the space race other then to gain meaning in this meaningless life that we can only attain through cheating and not gaining anything at all and yet the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell but we've never needed that information and it's been burned into out heads over and over for years so Michel Obama is rumored to be a man meaning that society's faith in the one true god, shaggy, is no longer strong enough to hold the fabric of this reality together thus we collide with others and that's why the Mandela Effect is putting chemicals in the water to turn the freaking frogs gay but a study showed that wasn't true but the study was made by the people turning the frogs gay so it didn't count... In conclusion: black beans are full of protein so they're good to eat during an existential crisis

HAHA

I wrote a WIP of a certain part of the story after certain events that will happen in a certain moment of time of my story

ANGST

A lot of angst

I love angst

As I delved deeper into the pages, a sensation, foreign and heavy, draped over me. A coolness brushed against my cheek, and I reached up to find dampness lingering there. Tears? A question danced on my lips as I questioned the emotion gripping my heart. Sorrow? The word echoed in my mind, unfamiliar yet hauntingly familiar. My vision blurred, words on the page melding into an incomprehensible blur. The book, once held with casual indifference, now felt weighty in my grasp. It was as if its contents held the answers to questions I hadn't even known to ask. With each turn of the page, the tears flowed freely, tracing rivulets down my cheeks. My hand tightened around the book, as if anchoring myself to its pages in the storm of emotions raging within me. I sank to my knees, the cold floor beneath me a stark reminder of the warmth that had seeped from my soul. The text before me remained a mystery, obscured by the veil of tears. Why did these pages, these words, evoke such an ache within me? Why did I feel as though I were mourning the loss of something precious, something I couldn't even name? A hollow ache settled in my chest, a void that no amount of tears could fill. It was a longing, a yearning for something beyond my grasp. Memories, half-forgotten, danced at the edge of my consciousness, teasing me with their elusive presence. Who was I missing? What had I forgotten? In the silence of that moment, amidst the weight of unspoken sorrow, I realized that some emotions transcended language, as I sat there, lost in a sea of tears and unanswered questions.

MUAHAHAHA

I'm working on writing down my OC's story

I wrote the very first part of it and, with the help of some online correcting resources, it looks not too bad I'd say fr

Chapter 1, part 1

My head pounded with each beat of my heart as consciousness slowly seeped back into my senses. Groaning softly, I struggled to push through the fog that clouded my mind. The heaviness weighed me down, making it difficult to discern reality from the remnants of my dreams. As I stirred, the sensation of something soft and sticky beneath me pulled me back to the present. With a start, I opened my eyes to find myself lying upon a peculiar mound of spiderwebs. The realization sent a shiver down my spine, and I quickly scrambled to my feet, my legs trembling with the effort. Warily, I took a few steps away from the web, my gaze darting around the dimly lit cave. The silence was oppressive, broken only by the rhythmic drip of water echoing off the stone walls. Instinctively, my hand found the hilt of the dagger at my waist, a comforting weight in the uncertainty that surrounded me. My eyes swept over the cavern, taking in the remnants of what appeared to be a once-grand structure now reduced to crumbling ruins. The contrast between the decay and the fragile beauty of the small pond nearby struck me, illuminated by beams of sunlight filtering through the cracks above. Turning my attention back to the spiderwebs, I noticed a strange detail that sent a chill down my spine. They appeared to be remnants of cocoons, torn open as if something had recently emerged. The sight filled me with unease, my mind racing with questions and concerns. What kind of place was this? How had I ended up here? And most importantly, was I alone? Pushing aside the unsettling thoughts, I focused on the task at hand: finding a way out of this cave. My gaze fell upon the imposing stone doors at the far end of the chamber, adorned with faded carvings that hinted at a forgotten history.

With a mixture of trepidation and determination, I approached the doors, the weight of uncertainty heavy upon my shoulders. Bracing myself, I pushed against them with all my strength, surprised by the ease with which they yielded to my efforts. As the doors creaked open, revealing a sliver of the world beyond, I hesitated for a moment, overcome by a wave of apprehension. But the desire to escape this strange place spurred me forward, and with a final push, I slipped through the crack, leaving the, no matter how uncertain, safety of the cave behind.

That's it for now lol

Land Of Lost

Carcasses of memories where her heart belonged,

Ashes of words where her thoughts corrode,

Dreams spread out on a silken cloth,

Just to be washed away by the storm.

Rocks of love in the pendant she worn,

But what use is it of when her lover's gone?

Hopes written and collected in a jar of glass,

Only to be broken and thrown away in trash.

Her melodies like a forgotten tune,

Played on an abandoned broken record,

Waves residing where her eyes belonged,

In the end she was the oceans favorite song,

Carried away by the waves to the land of lost.

Choas of thoughts

Sitting alone in the dark brooding night

The party in full swing yet she's left out

The nicotine in her system

Along with dreams and hopes

But she's never satisfied

Now she can't hear her thoughts

Because in her head chaos is rooted

Turning to leave or to leap into desperation

But she's fine because she knows

She knows the sting of thorns of love

She knows her drugs

She knows her love

All the pills she is high on

All the nights she'd spent crying

She knows her addiction

She knows her desperation

So she is going back

Back to where she started of.

If you were a puzzle piece and I was a square, I would ruin my edges just so we could fit together.

I was never a human. I was just longing and melancholy that was shaped into one.

And now my tears won't stop because I'm melancholic tonight. Because I feel incomplete tonight.

And maybe when the thrill fades we'll realize how we were never too far from drifting apart.

Dim lit windows

Dim lit windows at 1am, the record playing the same song,

Candles burning out, on the table are waiting more,

Pages filled with grief, her tears are the ink,

Dim lit windows at 1:30am, wonder if she ever sleeps.

Dim lit windows at 2:00am, the wind is blowing low,

Leaves rustle in the tree, a scent of caffeine from the stove,

Curtains left open, the red dress hanging from the door,

Dim lit windows at 2:30am, wonder if she didn't find a date for prom.

Dim lit windows at 3:00am, the rain is falling now,

Her shadow calmly walks upstairs, the cup of coffee left alone,

Caught the sight of her midnight black hair, the image was fickle,

Dim lit windows at 3:30am, the rain stopped, not a single ripple.

Dim lit windows at 4:00am, the curtains now closed,

Yet my thoughts are plagued by her and the melody of her favorite song,

The night is never dark for her, the street lamp making her feel at ease,

Dim lit windows at 5:00am, she has finally found peace in dreams.

I have many regrets but oh my love, I'm afraid you will be that one I'll never be able to forget.

So much agony in your heart. Offer me a plate of your pain for it hurts me to see you suffering alone. Darling, let me suffer with you.

Oh Love, my blood staining your clothes. I bleed of not my essence but all the memories and promises you gave me. Feel it soak in your clothes, a part of us you failed to keep.

I wrote my own South Park FanFic! Please read it and tell me what y’all think!<3 If you like it please consider sharing it with friends. ^v^

The Jew-hating Fat ass has a Jewish Cousin - The New JEW Kid (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1499892855-the-jew-hating-fat-ass-has-a-jewish-cousin-the-new?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=GreenSUSOvO There has been a lot of chatter about new kid coming to town. They say it's a girl and she's Jewish, that means that Kyle, a ginger, wouldn't be the only Jewish kid in the whole town anymore. But nobody knew was that Eric Cartman, the fat antisemite, was actually her 14th cousin once removed and were actually really close friends. DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the rights to it or its characters. those credits go to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Slight alt version of "My Life in the Rocky Mountains" the other South Park fanfiction that I've been writing. Please read that one when you have a chance. This one just gives a slightly different perspective. This is basically a "What if I was in South Park" au. Also uses "South Park: Stick of Truth" map. Trigger warning may include: foul language, death, smoking, and use of alcohol. If you feel uncomfortable with any of these topics please don't read if you feel is best for you. Please be kind and any rude and or insensitive comments will have the person reported. So if you have something not as nice, it better be constructive. (I'm fed up and pissed off with people going on to a piece of content that they knew they wouldn't like, just to rip on it and make people feel bad)

hey!!!! so i finished the fic!!!!!!

here it is everyone, my child, my first ever trek fic. i hope you enjoy it throughly!

shoutout also to my beta reader @mazarinememories !!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64328155

i’m gonna tag people here if you commented on the original post, obviously if you want your name removed feel free to reply or message me!!!

@rowlev @pipthecow @non-main-branch @pre-raphaelite-s @dat-carovieh @mmmerlenoir @justhugsplz

concept: season three episode eleven of TOS where kirk and spock are sped up, but mccoys counteragent to slow them down doesn’t work.

they’re stuck on the enterprise together for years in their perceived time all alone with the rest of the crew in near suspended animation.

spirk ensues.

they finally find a way back and they’re like literally married and the entire crew is like. what the fuck??

I realize this love isn't a fleeting thought, but something that only grows stronger with each passing day. It's not just a feeling—it's a commitment, one that has no end in sight. No matter how much time passes, day by day, I fall for you anew.

I’ve had thousands of conversations with you in my mind, loving the version of you that no longer exists. In these conversations, you’re still the person I once knew—warm, caring, and easy to talk to. We talk about things we never got the chance to say out loud, and somehow, everything feels right again. In this other world, we exist in a space where time doesn’t change us. It's a place where the version of you I love is still alive, untouched by the passing of time or the distance between us.

We know that Dream was fed raw potatoes in the prison, and nothing else. And in many fanfics, Dream doesn't eat them and they rot, I feel what most people are forgetting is that potatoes are the best vegetable possible. And what do potatoes also do? Grow in weird conditions, like sprouting in your kitchen when you haven't used them in awhile. They grow anywhere. I.e; this meme, thus, I think it is very important to talk about the cell Dream is covered and quite possibly taken over by potatoes. Because eventually the chest and the book thingy would decompress as they are made of wood, and potatoes could grow in/on them, and if you are doing an au where Dream dies in the prison and no one removes his body for whatever reason. When someone finally finds it, potatoes are growing out of it. Or if it is an immortal Dream au, there are potatoes growing in/out of Dream.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Hetalia: Axis Powers Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: France (Hetalia)/Reader Characters: France (Hetalia), Reader Additional Tags: francehetaliaxreader, francexreader - Freeform, francisbonnefoy, Hetalia, Hetaliaxreader Summary:

“Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”

 ― Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park