Jongin - Blog Posts
what taemints think kai does everytime taemin breaths
I never ship real people
and I advise to don't do that. But a few years ago people kept talking about jenkai and my brain is like not normal so I took that and was like wait, what is Kai and Jennie did a steven universe style fusion
this was so funny to me. Cause I was thinking wait, but what if it was like ouran host club and he's like with a group of girls dressed up as one and then poof. It was giving selena, hailey and Kimberly.
like first I was like wait? huh? but then it was so funny cause he could actually be a member.
this is why I need a bedtime, my brain...I will stop now. sigh
that one japanese girl who tried to k word her bf for cheating then waited in the lobby chilling til the cops came to pick her up
female authors and men who recommend them
everytime a woman says they are only reading a book or consuming certain media cause a male pop star said he personally likes it my heart fades away all of woman kind weeps
It can be true but the patriarchy is strong enough no need to even say stuff like that.
Especially cause a lot of times the books are written by female authors. I wonder is it is the fame association or the fact that its men giving stuff validity. I think the goal of men reading women centric work is to understand women better and the fans want to know what the guy likes but many never give an actual opinion.
Even if they did the point is to form your own opinion which will never be the same as a mans not really.
4 example a looooong time ago when I was a teen kji was still recommending books to fans back when fans read actual books. A lot of girls got sprung by the fact that he read a korean translation of me before you
( I only watched the movie and ended up reading the second book cause finnick from hunger games and khalessi from game of thrones was in it) but it was a big deal at the timw.
Now and days it is really not in the sm ent image to be intellectual for some reason, I suppose fans don't like that idk.
Many thought of it as a...indicator of him being..idk romantic.
Which..is possible but actually looking back in his old interviews he basically said he mainly read books to imagine himself in the main role he said this many times.
So he generally has little interest reading books he wouldn't want to be in. Me before you was a tragic romance which is basically his entire acting career. Andante, he cared for ill people the entire drama and his girlfriend who passes away. Spring has come, he cared for his girlfriends family and eventually his sick mother. Miracle that we met, literally played an angel...guardian angel..like that's very obvious.
Even the superm show as we wish where for like the first time ever the managers said the members get to create the mini dramas they want to star in.
Mark even reenacted his parents engagement story. Kji ended up doing a tragic romance that included memory loss and a car accident. It lowkey is neverending cause he even made it clear he hates romance but talked about a romance movie from the 70s he watched....where the fiance died.
Bonus round he only has writing credits on one song and it makes a reference to this movie. A very obvious reference.
Some people like what they like for very specific reasons. Even if you read the book or watch the movie you can't feel how they felt while consuming that same thing. It is good to pass on likes or learn of new things from people but its your own personal experience that matters.
I love watching golden girls because I think old people are like large adult babies who can talk, most people would never know thats basically the only reason I watched the show so many times.
This stuff although is there to just figure out but I think many assume korean is so hard to understand and confusing we must rely on social media to tell us who the kdolls are. 1stly tv interviews say much more than fansubs and fandoms. Many people do say a lot about who they are but many people read more fanfic than interviews. Some read both but the fandom version is more fun. I can say this cause I read kpop fanfic since like 2014 neve got in the way of like me knowing real personalities and fandom creations. This is shots fired for some people at least but kji isn't really shy..sm made him shy. He was super go getting and excited back in 2012 . Some may disagree that this was fake and the real him is shy, but I disagree, outside of Korea is usually when he's more talkative both to strangers and in general. Now it's reserved for the fans and outside of that he was typically mum. Nobody saw that kji again until at least a year into super m. Not simply clowning around but speaking his peace and defending himself and sharing his opinions.
In super m he got to be loud and obnoxious without censor because that's "American style" promotion. Cool guys can also be funny and total jerks yet still well liked in America.
yes he is an anxious person but not shy and introvert is a stretch.
Shy baby bear jongin at least to the degree it's been sold is giving noona fanservice I'm sorry. Anyone can be shy at any given moment but shy as in a personality trait is a bit much for anyone who's an idols and literally interacts with new people everyday.
I LOVE pseudoscience and feel like many things in pseudoscience are very accurate and have a lot of truth in them. But personality tests are iffy at best and go only surface level of what makes up a person. I also don't believe the basis of the test is ... good either
It's important to note that it was made to pigeon hole women more than actually discover who a person truly was on the inside.
Those personality test are inaccurate on multiple levels, please research many books debunking the extrovert introvert myth similar to animals personality changes with environment and comfortability. The same shy person in New York can be an extrovert in Los Angeles. Also personal experiences can craft a person's being extroverted or introverted. It's not a 100 percent set thing that can't change...complete myth..one that America and a lot of first world countries have latched onto in the name of faux tribalism.
For multiple reasons I keep referring to other sources to expound upon the fact that it gives me major ick people can't see how gross the origins of a Eurocentric world war two control device to dehumanize women SHOULD NOT be used as an accurate test of any kind and it's based off of a very immoral and inhuman type of thinking. I highly recommend reading this for appropriate cultural scope. I think it's better explained by these author's.
The craze to me was honestly a bit scary with how many people quickly latched onto these labels and identified themselves like, for so many reasons nooo! It's really ick to me for lots of reasons, yes it's fun but many people label idols like this. Rare types and common types, introverts and extroverts and it's like the idols begin to play more into the roles they were assigned.
Jongin being branded as an introvert(the offstage version of exo kai still a character btw) was to I believe sell a certain image to the fans. Introverts don't go out to clubs and party with girls and their friends, they stay quiet and text on bubble and act like they are texting their middle school clique. It always gives I don't know anybody here guys come get me. Yet that obviously can't happen but it creates that illusion and further deepens the bond.
At a certain point kji just stopped really saying much cause the bear bear image is what people cared about. I remember early on he explained how much he didn't like fanservice but he would try to get better. Basically I think he may have liked the book because of it having a caretaker in it and he likes that caretaker role. Most visible when he's with kids.
He as a person has that as a strong part of his character. I wish people would try to look at things a little deeper. If one does feel the need to get something or consume something just like their fave did at least maybe one form your own opinion and enjoy your own personal experience first and foremost but also understand why that other person likes that thing. People like men written by women more than the women who write them. Understand it takes a lot of positive influence from women to make a man like that. I.e the mother and other older female role models.
I think it's deeper than people realize
I just got out of school a few days ago and honestly I was so busy that I was only halfway paying attention to what has been going on. First of all ever since that fiasco with bubble, and his phone breaking i honestly thought that something was up with him cause he was just acting weird...sigh I really didn't want to get into this I wanted to just relax and read or catchup on good trouble or something but I guess I'll Ramble instead.
I didn't know per say that he was leaving at first I just noticed he has been much more clingy with his fans than usual. Really pushing the boyfriend idol thing( which is so unhealthy for both him and them but I digress). He the entire rover promotions has just looked so tired and exhuasted to me. For this reason although I bought the album I refused to keep up with the promotions because of how out of it he looked. He lost so much weight( which isn't necessarily a bad thing its how quickly he looses weight and how he binge eats afterwards its just not healthy) he looked so tired and energetically drained. S.m absolutely sucks at promoting him and he takes on the bulk of the creative reins and stress for every album, so I understand his stress but it's how he deals with it. He is very sensitive and emotional but pretends not to be until he just snaps and lets it all out. Honestly as selfish as it is this is why I will check up on him periodically but thats about all I can do when he's like that.. seeing someone run themselves ragged not even caring if one day they won't be able to walk for the sake of their craft is too much.
I know people are angry at people suggesting that he knew he was going to the military and I dont know for sure but I really think he did. He's such an oddball he hints at stuff. And if you don't pay attention to his little hints you'll miss the irony of everything he, had changed his hair color back to black, was wearing a air jordan shirt with wings and said that he'd be right back.( also he never has worn came before and suddenly he's wearing it way more often) I just assumed everyone knew he meant he was going to the army. So when he did another live having to actually say he was going to the army explicitly I think he did it out of wanting to be a good idol. Good celebrities express their emotions to their audience. It was strange to watch cause in a way it was real I do believe he was hurting but how he be acting sometimes its concerning. I really dont think he has another area of his life to express that emotional, goofy, childlike self which is basically the real him. The military regardless of which part you are going to is no place to express that side of yourself. I really dont think it was kai of exo crying cause he can't sing and dance I think it was his inner child crying. He cares about singing and dancing but honestly not as much as he outwardly says he does. I think he would be just as happy acting, it's simply that fans didn't really respond well to his acting. Its not just exo he won't be participating in, it's also modeling, fashion, whatever else he does that people don't know about.. anyway he's been noticably holding onto, clinging too, trying to get back the youth he lost being an aspiring child star/ kpop idol. People forget he has headshots from when he was like 8 or 9 maybe 10. His parents more than simply wanting him to sing and dance wanted him to be famous. Its alot of pressure for a kid and it's also is a tale as old as time his story is different from what you usually hear in kpop, he didn’t just audition and happen to get in he was definitely groomed to be in the industry. He wasn't exactly doing youtube covers but if you weave the story together a lot went into him being Kai it wasn't just oh I wanted an Nintendo but I commend him for saying so dedicated to the little script. He never ever gives anymore information about his family or his career origins than he did at debut (trust me I've checked). But weirdly he offers the story without asking.most idols do not do this they stay as vague as possible. But he always has given info voluntarily that sounds odd and maybe didn't need to be said. Like how he looked so feminine as a child multiple people mistook him as a girl, and how his mother used to curl his hair and when he went shopping for dress clothes with his parents the people would bring out a dress instead.. Perhaps it is something important to him or he is trying to hint at something I'm not sure.
Gender fluidity is a mark of childhood I think he holds onto that part of his life where he didn't have to be what society deems as a man.
Regardless I worry about the kid cause I think he uses his celebrity as a comfort when he feels insecure. Like at least somebody cares about him, the real him. But I really dont think that's healthy.
It also really concerns me how when he's alone and it's quiet( no lights camera action) the first thing that pops into his mind when he's just speaking into the silence is to say he doesn't have any friends. He says he is a friend to other people yet he has no friends. He's so closed off even when he's close to people.
I know nobody wants to be lectured but this is why I'm so cringe and like why? when he sexualizes himself. Cause it's so..outside of his box..he is naturally a sensual person theres no issue with that but he's reserved in public. But he has to use his natural sex appeal to sell sell sell and look I understand, that's the world its disgusting, despicable and a complete product of colonialism (I'll get into that later). When he ripped up that sign of himself shirtless on inkigayo I was not surprised at all.
It's more and more common that sex symbols are coming out and saying how irl they are super shy and reserved. One day my sister was watching the Kardashians and I was like lemme just watch and see what this is about. It actually wasn't bad and I'm now convinved it's actually social commentary in disguise. So this episode Scott asked Kim to accompany him to an acting class and Kim was actually super shy and kinda nervous about having to introduce herself in front of strangers. People fail to realize people even when someone seems out of this world they are still a person. Sometimes dehumanizing someone isn't putting them down but lifting them up too high.
I think the deification of Kai both helped him yet hurt him tremendously. Jongin went from being a bullied kid who did ballet to a handsome upcoming idol to be treated like a demigod. Yet that's just how people looked at him, where was the inner work between that. It most likely didn't happen. Which is why he still has bouts of depression despite having such a successful career.
More than comments and likes and views the kid needs prayers.
Summary
So I made this blog for a paticular reason that reason has become null and void at this point. I figured some things out and it was time to move on. But I still made the blog. I usually just leave it rot in the ether of the internet but twitter is...I can’t talk that much and I talk alot. Also it’s quieter here. So I be busy and my brain is like..lots of ideas live in there and they do not pay rent and refuse to be evicted so I literally have no choice but to do something with them. Now because I am four years older than 18 my mind basically that of an old person now so I must write everything down. Everything. Or else I will return here and not know what in the world I planned on doing so for the future me and my sanity and whoever comes on here and finds anything interesting and is like hmm that is intriguing but what else is there like what will this person write about next. Well okay I will put here a detailed list of all the posts I plan on creating. Most are already written or drafted out in my google docs because I pre plan almost everything I can’t help it. This can change depending on how I think the format fits. Also since most of these are still in draft/research stage some ideas from years ago I may not even subscribe to the belief anymore but I still put in a lot of work so maybe it will interest somebody. So in no particular order
#Atlantagate (kai and blackness there’s a lot to unpack)
Jongin dance analysis
Batman v superman analysis
Kai the first album analysis
Jongin: actual fallen angel? Analysis
Avatar/Avatar the way of water analysis
Kai and Taeyong analysis//
Kai behavior analysis// this one has to be broken down into several including attachment style, body language, hypers2xuality, behavior towards men v women, and major childhood events.
Comparing Lee sooman and Johnny Kitagawa
Abusive practices in kpop that are openly accepted/laughed at and why this is the new normal_ but this can be tired into other theories
Rover Film Analysis _obviously not done yet
Kai and dispatch a long history. Why he’s their go to boy
Why aang is the best avatar in existence
Jongin music analysis: this is the last one I’m putting no this isn’t me analyzing his music but the music he’s listened to for years and how I think it reflects a lot of things about him. I actually jotted down notes about his taste in music and after doing more research pretty much everything I thought about him was true. His taste in music and movies is so revealing because he’s such a transparent person. He is secretive yet at the same time wants people to know certain things. Some of those things are true and some aren’t.
LAST ONE whew. Kai is a method actor. Like a serious method actor. I learned that watching Andante you know what. Andante analysis.
So yeah I’ll try and see what’s the best to do first but like if anybody anywhere wants anything specific just say it cause if not I’ll just whatever whenever. I say this because as much as I love just reaffirming my own beliefs I’m always open for correction or broader thinking or just a good conversation. I hate petty arguing it’s so pointless to me and I much prefer to actual talk it out with people.
so yeah that’s it for now
KAI 😎✌️✌️✌️😆😁😎😎
What is it with the exo boys and grinding?… Not that I mind…