i long to be simple minded.
i can tell he’s mine because he whispers my name every night just before he falls asleep.
they can keep their guys, because him. he’s mine.
”your hair gets curly when are in love aliza, and i know those curls weren’t there before”
i take a deep breath in the mirror and think about how different i am now.
i look forward to the darkness and the quiet. even though i am scared of it, that is the only time i feel something.
another valentine’s day without you is another year of melancholy.
you’ve ruined my life. i will say i love you until i am hoarse. i will kiss you until my lips are raw. i will cry for you until i cry a river. i will hold you until my arms can no longer hold themselves up. i will miss you until the sun sinks into the sky for the final time.
i am always short on words when i feel immensely.
nothing. i feel nothing.
come back soon. to the girl you destroyed.
i find space to heal in the margins, in quiet afternoons, and in hugs from people i love.
i am a skeleton walking, for you have stolen my heart.
what would’ve happend, if i didn’t walk into that bar? if i didn’t see your face? if you didn’t steal glances from across the room all night? if you didn’t walk up to me with your crooked smirk? if you didnt leave to get a rose from the convenience store 3 blocks down? if you didn’t ruin my life?
if the hunger games were real, i would’ve eaten those berries without you. i would’ve let you win.
happiness is running away from me. and i am letting it happen.
i was born with half a soul. the other half is nestled in your chest.
if you died, they may as well pronounce me dead too.
my worst nightmare is being stuck in this terribly boring town doing something mediocre.
IM ALIVE. IM ALIVE SO TODAY I ACTED LIKE IT.
so far this year, the only thing i’ve been is a disservice to the people around me. most days i’m too selfish to get out of bed.
my life is tied to your in the strongest of knots. no terrors could unravel us. you are too tangled into the depth of my soul.
you must’ve been mine for lifetimes. i must’ve taught you how to read, or ride a bike, or cook, or run. we must’ve met on the streets of ancient rome, or in passing jericho, or selling you a car in london, or teaching you to fight in sparta, or closing your tomb in egypt. i must’ve been your person every single lifetime.
i feel new. and fresh. and pure. and god it feels fleeting.
i wish happiness and i could get just 5 more minutes together.
i wish that when i saw you for the first time, i would’ve run as fast as i could.
i took a deep breath for the first time in weeks today.
i crave physical touch like a drug. i crave skin to skin, soul to soul kind of touch. i crave interlocking pinkies because i need a little hit. i crave to hug people that do little things for me because it’s the only way i know how to say thank you.
i am not just a feminist, i am a supporter of people.
someone asked me today what made me so good at arguing. i shocked them to silence when i said being a good listener.