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xxv. between notes and secrets

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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE ─ between notes and secrets.

❛ and i feel so high school

every time i look at you ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The sunlight peered into my room through the translucent curtains hanging over my window. The light cast itself on every surface- my desk, the wooden floor littered with various teenage junk and my spinning chair. Even my bed, which was in an obscure corner of my room couldn't avoid the stingy hot rays of the sun. I lay on my bed like a dead starfish abandoned on the sea shore, staring blankly at the ceiling above, deep in thought.

It's been a couple of weeks since I started learning guitar from Taesung. No matter how hard I tried to be nonchalant about it- I couldn't help myself. He was on my mind, all right, consuming my thoughts day and night. Here I was, rotting in my bedroom on a perfectly pleasant summer Sunday afternoon, thinking about a boy who probably never had a comprehensible thought in his life. Scenes played in my mind like flashbacks in a movie. His gentle tone explained things to me; How our hands would brush ever so often and my stupid heart would start racing like a mad horse.

I wanted to believe so desperately that I was the only one in the world who knew this side of him. Sensitive, kind, gentle- vulnerable. His tough-guy act was all just a pretence. I could see a new part of him now that I had spent so much time with him. His eyes showed a glint as he spoke about music- passion. There was something else about him that he wasn't ready to tell me. The melancholy in his voice whenever the subject of family came up- neglect.

I felt pathetic thinking this to myself, but I wanted to know. Curiosity pierced through my heart, a desire to know him better. What kept him up at night? What makes him smile? Or cry? I wanted to know it all.

I lazily moved to my desk, slouching in my chair as I propelled myself towards the table with my legs. I gazed at the music sheet lying on the table. This music sheet wasn't an ordinary one. It was for the song Taesung was teaching me on the guitar. My fingers played with the corners of the paper, mindlessly folding it. My other hand reached for my pencil as I began to scribble on a different scrap of paper.

The long-hidden time, calls us back again.

💿

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

"Have you ever felt like someone is keeping something from you?" I asked Sunjae as we walked back home from the bus stop through the warm Monday afternoon.

"The feeling of being lied to?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "Like they're withholding information on purpose."

"I don't know," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck that glistened with sweat, "Is something on your mind?"

"It's probably nothing," I shrugged, looking up at him to smile reassuringly, "Yumi had been coming home late these days. She said there are extra lessons at the music club, but I have a feeling that isn't the whole story."

He smiled back at me, flashing his dimples. My face must have turned the colour of a fresh tomato because I could feel the heat rising. I tried to play it cool, but it was no use. 

I knew it was silly. But there was something about him that just drew me in. Maybe it was his kind eyes that sparkled in the sunlight, or his laugh that not once failed to bring a smile to my face, or it was just the way he made me feel. Whatever it was, I couldn't deny it. I had a stupid, hopeless crush on him.

"It feels amazing to take off my shoulder brace," he sighed as we turned a corner.

"Does it still hurt?"

He shook his head, "The doctor said that it won't get triggered unless I engage in strenuous physical exercise."

"I'm glad you're better now."

A comfortable silence filled the air, our smiles never leaving our faces as we journeyed home. I don't know when I'll be going back to my time, or how much time I had left. In that moment, none of it mattered. All that was important was the soft melody of "Sonaki" in my mind and Sunjae's company which was as warm as the summer breeze flowing through my hair.

💿

I stared blankly at my flip-phone screen displaying a message from an unknown sender.

Hello Eunyoung. 

It's your dad.

My heart raced, threatening to burst out of my chest. I felt my breath become shaky and my hand reached up to my heart in attempt to calm myself. There were a million thoughts and questions running through my mind since the moment I saw the message. What did he want? How did he find my number? But one question brought my spirits crashing down to rock bottom. Where had he been my whole life?

Everything seemed to come back to me. Memories of me as a baby, tiny and vulnerable, desperate to be loved. Now I remember everything I did to try and get my dad to look at me longer than a fraction of a second. I once even tore his favourite pair of shoes to catch his attention. That seemed to make things worse. I thought he hated me. I never once thought he was capable of love. The way he screamed at my mom...

I covered my ears in agony- I could hear the scene replay in my head.

Another message flashed on the screen.

Let me make things right. Can we meet up somewhere?

"Eunyoung?" My mother's voice fell upon my ears. In shock, I spinned in my chair to look at her beady eyes staring down at me.

"M-mom..." My voice stuttered and stammered as I felt a lump in my throat, "D-did you..."

I want to cry.

"Listen, Eunyoung," she began, her voice cold and stiff, "I know this isn't your fault, but under no circumstances will you agree to this. Do you understand? I hope I've made myself clear."

"Yes, mummy," I said, faking a smile, trying to blink away my tears. A warm smile appeared on her face as she pulled me in for a hug, "You're all the family I need." I said to her, biting my lip, trying desperately to hold back the urge to cry my eyes out.

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nana's notes: i'm so proud of that header 🥹 also eunyoung is so real for that last line.

delphi's notes: the way she calls her mom mummy ;(

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xxi. clarity in the darkness

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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE ─ clarity in the darkness.

❛ and i know i make the same mistakes every time. ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

See, I've always prided myself on the fact that I had the ability to make rational decisions. That's why, when I stood in the dark hallways of Jagam High School after hours with the Eclipse members and Sunjae, I felt like the biggest idiot to ever walk this Earth. What had gotten into me? Why in god's name would I ever agree to something like this? I felt like slapping myself for getting swayed by Inhyuk's persuasion. However, there was another storm brewing in my mind that haunted my thoughts. I was doing this for Taesung. For his birthday. I refused to let myself think of it.

"Hyunsoo," hissed Inhyuk.

"What?" he responded in a similar fashion.

"Stop breathing so loudly," he made an effort to keep his volume as low as possible, "You're going to wake the dead."

"Shut your trap."

"Um, Guys?" Sunjae intervened, "We've been standing at the door for a while. Don't you think we should start looking?"

"He's right, we should get it over with and vamoose before anyone catches us," I chimed in.

"Where do you think all the student records are kept?" asked Inhyuk. Despite all our efforts to speak as quietly as possible, our voices echoed in the empty hallways.

"Let's check the staff room?" I suggested.

We moved like a gang of thieves, sticking close to each other as fear gripped our bones. A cold gush of wind sent a shiver through my body as we inched closer to the staff room. I never realised I was such a coward until now. Paranoia had consumed me entirely. I dreaded the consequences of this reckless adventure. Someone speaks an octave too high, someone drops a heavy object, one small mistake and they all would be dead meat.

We were faced with the extensive staff room, and rows of tables and chairs, sending confusion through us all.  "Do you know where his homeroom teacher sits?"

"Here," said Hyunsoo, Eclipse's drummer. He followed him to a desk by the door. Inhyuk took the initiative to reach out and shuffle through the files lying on the table. The shuffling and rustling of papers sounded painfully loud in the silence of the deserted school. "Quieter!" hissed Sunjae.

Inhyuk retrieved the thin sheet with the personal details of students pinned on the soft board. Just then, as if a manifestation of my worry, slow, steady footsteps echoed in the hallway outside the room. Panic surged through my body as I felt my breathing become unsteady.

Inhyuk got a hold of the sheet holding Taesung's information. Hearing the footsteps getting closer, I motioned everyone to duck under the table with my shaking hands. As we all crouched under the table, my body shook with terror. A bright flashlight flashed on the ground next to us. Everyone held their breath as a voice spoke, "I could have sword there was something..."

The light faded out of sight as all of us heaved a sigh of relief. "I got a picture!" whispered Inhyuk, his voice laced with triumph.

"Great, now let's get out of here!"

💿

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

Going back to school after my surgery was an experience in itself. I received sympathy from peers and teachers that I had never received in my years in high school. It seemed as if the world was showering me in pity, rubbing salt in my fresh wound that had gotten no time to heal. I felt dejected, and it showed. I slouched in class, stared blankly into space and zoned out when someone was speaking to me. In this confusing haze of people's sympathy towards me, I found solace in the blue cap I wore─ Eunyoung's thoughtful gift. It rested atop my head like a reminder of her warmth and the gentleness of her voice.

Eunyoung was different. She treated me like she always had. Through all the changes I observed in everyone's attitude towards me, Eunyoung stood like a guiding light, staying constant through my adversity. I found comfort in her unchanging demeanor. 

As she took her usual seat next to me as per usual, the familiarity of the scenario sent tingles through my body. I smiled secretly to myself on seeing her face. How could she take away my breath? Just by being herself? I must be crazy. 

I noticed her yawn next to me, covering her mouth with her hand. Her blinking became slower as there was a visible struggle for her to keep her eyes open.

"Long day?" I asked.

"The substitute teacher for geography did a fantastic job," she let out another yawn, "At putting the class to sleep."

I chuckled. She looked up at me, smiling with sleepy eyes. 

💿

I felt Eunyoung's head fall gently on my shoulder. I slowly turned to look at her head resting peacefully on my shoulder. Thankfully, it wasn't the shoulder that got operated on. I would hate to push her away. A few strands of her hair framed her angelic face. Her soft breath fanned my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. The gentle rise and fall of her chest was rhythmic and calming, a stark contrast to the chaos of the day. A wave of protectiveness washed over me as I realized how vulnerable she looked in this moment.

I couldn't help but trace the outline of her face with my eyes. Her lips were slightly parted, and her eyelashes cast delicate shadows on her cheeks.

This has happened before. I remembered the moment we had previously shared with shocking clarity. It replayed in my mind like my favourite scene from my favourite movie. The point of contact that made my heart flutter back then, did the same today. The tingling feeling surged through my body, just like that day. She looked as perfect as ever─ maybe more. Every moment I spent with her, I found myself wishing it would last forever.

I stole another glance at her. A warmth spread through me, a comforting familiarity that I hadn't felt in a long time. This was a moment of peace, a sanctuary from the world outside. And in that moment, I knew that I would do anything to protect this fragile, beautiful girl beside me.

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nana's notes: eunyoung if falling asleep on the bus was a job 💸💸

delphi's notes: ryu sunjae, the biggest loser to exist ;)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xix. on my mind

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CHAPTER NINETEEN ─  on my mind.

❛ in losing grip on sinking ships, you showed up just in time. ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

The metal benches in the music club waiting area felt cool against my legs which swung back and forth leisurely. It occurred to me that I probably looked extremely suspicious sitting there idly, looking here and there, as if I was waiting for someone. If I was completely honest to myself, I would have said that I wanted to see Taesung one more time. It was stupid, but it was true. I'd found it impossible to keep his kitty cat face out of my head, and I hadn't seen him in a few days. However, I'd rather tear apart my limbs and use them for making furniture than admit that I was interested in a teenage boy. So, I sat there, telling myself that the cool breeze that entered through the main entrance felt nice and there was nothing to do at home.

My head turned way faster than it should have when I heard one of the doors open. To my dismay, it was Inhyuk. And all the band members. Except Taesung. It was as if the universe was playing tricks on me. I failed to fight the urge, and asked Inhyuk, "Hey! Do you have any idea where Taesung is? I haven't seen him in a few days."

"Oh! He's sick, actually," he informed me, "Why do you ask?"

"Oh... umm..." I stuttered, "I wanted to uhh... talk to him... about... something."

"He should be back soon," said Inhyuk thoughtfully, "It's a shame he's got sick just before his birthday."

His words struck me like lightning in a thunderstorm, "His birthday? When's that?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"It's on the coming Sunday," Inhyuk answered, and I could have sworn there was a mischievous glint in his eyes, "I feel like we should plan something for him. His mom lives overseas, and his dad is a cop, so he's always busy."

"We should," it was too late until I realized my choice of words, "I mean you! You should..."

Inhyuk smirked, "You can help if you like! You guys are friends, right?"

"I guess so," I mumbled, feeling my face getting warmer. I may have looked normal at that moment, but my heart was ready to leap out of my chest and run a half marathon.

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The summer heat pricked my skin, relieved by the occasional breeze. I sat at the bus stop with my head hung, as if I looked up at the Sun for even a second, I would have lost my eyesight, which I valued far too much. I must have looked like a ghost, for I was so absorbed by my own thoughts that they drowned out the chatter of other students around me.

Sunjae occupied every corner of my mind, a relentless tide washing away thoughts of anything else. Even after my daily visits, a gnawing worry remained. Was the brave facade he presented a mask for a deeper pain? Witnessing his struggle fueled an anger within me, an anger directed at the cruel twist of fate that had stolen his dream.

But beneath the anger, a different emotion swirled – a confusing tangle that defied definition. Was it simple admiration for his talent? Fanatic devotion for the singer? Or was it something more? The thought itself sent a shiver down my spine.

I couldn't dare to contemplate any further. Trapped in this strange era, with no clue when – or even if – I'd return to my own time, the future stretched before me like a blurry landscape. Each stolen moment with Sunjae felt like a step closer to a precipice, a place where the joy of connection might be shattered by the inevitable goodbye. Fear rose inside my chest from time to time- if I gave in to these feelings, would I ever be able to look away?

Breaking my train of thought, a finger tapped on my shoulder. I looked up slowly, my eyes widening at the face that stared at me with a mischievous smirk. Eyes that glimmered in the Sun and smiling lips that sent my heart racing. "Sunjae! What are you doing here!"

"I'm here to surprise you," he said, taking a seat beside me, flashing the dimple on his right cheek. He was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and black jeans. As I noticed the sling wrapped around his injured shoulder, I felt my heart sink. "You're happy to see me, I hope?"

"Of course I am!" I exclaimed, beaming. How could I not be? "Are you even allowed to be roaming around like this? Weren't you supposed to be discharged this Friday?"

"The doctor said I didn't need to stay in the hospital any longer," he informed me. A wave of relief washed over me.Sunjae's face broke into a wide grin, the first genuine happiness I'd seen since his surgery. His smile, like sunlight breaking through the clouds, made my stomach do a little flip.

"I'm so glad!" I said to him, the smile never leaving my face, "I bet you were tried of seeing those white walls everyday. There's no place like home, am I right?"

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

She had no idea that she was, in fact, home to him. A constant pillar of support in his darkest hour. Admist the uncertainties of his career, she stood by him unfailingly, offering priceless advice and a shoulder to cry on. "You're right. I'm glad to be back home." I answered, thinking to myself, "By your side, that is."

"Your dad must be thrilled, right? she beamed.

"Sure, he is," even mention of my father's apparent elation couldn't dim my spirits as I continued smiling at her, mostly in admiration of her unreal beauty.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" she uttered suddenly, "I got something for you!" My eyebrows shot up, "What?! How come?!"

"It's just a little gift," Eunyoung told me, "Something to cheer you up after your days in the hospital."

Narrator's Perspective

Sunjae sat silently in the living room of Eunyoung's house with his hands placed awkwardly on his lap. His eyes scanned the place absent-mindedly as he waited for Eunyoung to emerge from her room. The atmosphere was extremely still and silent. A stack of magazines and newspapers sat on the little coffee table in the centre of the room alongside the couch. The curtains were drawn, and the only sources of light were two tall lamps on either corner of the sofa.  It was almost as if no one had been living there.

To anyone else, it might have seemed slightly spooky; But all Sunjae could think of was their stolen moment after he got taken to the hospital during swim practice. About two weeks had passed since it happened, but to him, the memory was crystal clear, as if it happened the previous day. A warmth crept up his cheeks at the thought. A part of him felt embarrassed and stupid. Was he really going to kiss her? Did that make him look brazen to her? He had successfully convinced himself that he imagined it, but he could have sworn that she leaned in too.

"I found it!" Eunyoung's voice put a full stop to Sunjae's flashback as he pulled himself back to the present. She held a blue cap in her hand. It was an ordinary cap to anyone else, but she had picked it out with great thoughtfulness. "Blue was the colour of the umbrella that you gave me the day we met. I wanted it to be something meaningful." A shy smile and a soft pink blush surfaced on her face.

Sunjae could feel his entire body burning up. He felt as if he had been glued to the couch. He didn't want to lead himself on and let himself misinterpret her actions. How could someone so dazzling have the slightest interest in him? Yet, the smallest glimmer of hope bloomed in his heart. Maybe, just maybe...

"It's incredible," he breathed out. The words barely made it out of his mouth, and he could swear his heart had plans of jumping out of his heart and clinging onto Eunyoung. "I love it... thank you! I can't- I don't know how to thank you, really."

"It's nothing," she brushed off, the blush on her cheeks deepening, "I'm just glad you like it."

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nayoung's notes:eunyoung and sunjae are so cute i can't 🤧✋

delphi's notes: yumi has no idea what she just got herself into.

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

xviii. the anatomy of a smile

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN ─ the anatomy of a smile.

❛ but i see sparks fly whenever you smile. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"Oh! Eunyoung!" Inhyuk called out when he spotted Eunyoung on her way to school.

"Hmm?" she turned to look at him, "Oh, it's you. Hi."

"Hey," he began, "I visited Sunjae yesterday. He went on about today's school paper. He practically begged me to bring it for him. The fellow who distributes the papers in our class is a real ass. He won't give me any extra papers. Can you do me a favour and help me out? I have no idea why he's so hell bent on getting it."

A small smile surfaced on Eunyoung's face. He remembers.

"I'll bring it to him after school, don't worry," she assured him. Inhyuk cocked his head to the side in confusion. He seemed to be the only one left in the dark.

The previous evening

"Sunjae?" Eunyoung called out to him, knocking on the open hospital room door. None of the other patients seemed to be there, and Sunjae sat in solitude on his bed, staring blankly out of the window.

"Eunyoung?" his head whipped around sharply. A small smile surfaced on his face slowly. The despair in his eyes was very much evident despite his efforts to put up a brave front.

She returned his smile with the same sorrow in her eyes. She took a seat on the chair next to him, "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" he started, the smile fading from his face, "Not great. They said I won't be able to continue swimming."

I know. Eunyoung thought to herself. Each time she was faced with that reality, she could feel an ache in her heart. The lump in her throat left her speechless. Her hand reached forward to clutch Sunjae's, which seemed so huge in comparison. Sunjae's breath hitched at her sudden movement. The colour seemed to return to his face as he felt warmth blooming in his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," is all Eunyoung could muster out, "I'm sorry for coming late, I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"It's not your fault," Sunjae whispered.

A spark of warmth glimmered in the sterile hospital room, igniting a new kind of fire in them both. The silence conveyed feelings that neither of them could dare to put into words.

💿

Spotting Taesung exiting the music room before her, Yumi called out to him, evident excitement in her voice, "Taesung!" She approached him as he turned quickly to look at her. 

"Piano girl?"

"How original," she frowned.

"Why did you call out to me?" he asked her.

"Oh yeah," Yumi remembered, "The kitten let me pet it the other day!"

"Really?" he chuckled. He found her excitement strangely endearing. Yumi always seemed to be frowning or her eyebrows would be raised and her eyes would be wide with confusion. She had often stared at him blankly, making it impossible to guess what was on her mind. But her face lit up when she smiled. There was a glimmer in her eyes, and a soft redness on her cheeks. Taesung's heart pounded against his chest.

"I was right, wasn't I?" he said, trying way too hard to act cool. 

Could she tell I'm bluffing? Does she have any clue about the effect she has on me?

💿

The white walls of Sunjae's hospital room seemed a little less oppressive today. A sliver of sunlight snuck through the blinds, painting a warm rectangle across his lap. Sunjae, propped up against pillows, traced the lines of a sports magazine with a listless finger. The events unfolding on the pages held little interest for him. His own future in swimming felt like a deflated balloon, limp and useless.

A soft knock at the door startled him. Before he could answer, the door creaked open, revealing Eunyoung. Her eyes, usually sparkling with mischief, were clouded with worry. She clutched a neatly folded newspaper to her chest.

"Hey," Sunjae managed, a weak smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school?"

Eunyoung shuffled closer, her gaze flitting between him and his father, who sat perched on a visitor's chair, a newspaper propped up in front of him. A hint of a blush crept up her neck.

"Actually, I brought you something," she mumbled, extending the newspaper towards him.

Sunjae's father chuckled, lowering his own paper. "He's been yapping about your article all morning. Took you long enough!" His tone was light, but Sunjae detected a playful jab in his words.

"I'm just glad someone's eager to read what I wrote."

Sunjae carefully unfolded the newspaper, his heart skipping a beat as he saw the headline: "Setting the Pace: A New Season for the Jagam High Swim Team" with his own team photo splashed right below it.

He scanned the article, his eyes widening with each paragraph. Eunyoung's words painted a vivid picture of the team, their dedication, and their unwavering spirit. He felt a forgotten spark ignite within him, a flicker of pride for his team and the sport he still loved.

"This is..." he stammered, searching for the right words. "This is amazing, Eunyoung! You captured everything perfectly. I could practically smell the chlorine."

A genuine smile bloomed on Eunyoung's face, chasing away the worry in her eyes. "Really? I'm glad you like it. Everyone misses you so much." Especially me.

"Maybe you can take some advice from Eunyoung," his dad advised Sunjae, a teasing smile forming on his face, "You never know! You might become a famous writer like her."

Sunjae swatted his father's arm playfully, a laugh escaping his lips for the first time since the surgery. "Don't listen to him, Eunyoung. He's just jealous he can't write like you."

The room, for a brief moment, was filled with a warmth that had nothing to do with the sunlight peering in through the window. It was the warmth of shared passion and perhaps, the beginning of a new kind of hope.

💿

"Sportsmanship is not just about good manners; it's about creating a positive environment where everyone can thrive. It's about fostering a love for the sport that goes beyond individual accolades, and it fills me with pride to know that the swimming team of Jagam High School navigates the triumphs and challenges of this season with this very sportsmanship as their guiding principle." Yumi read out from the newspaper in her hand.

Eunyoung's mother put down her chopsticks and clapped enthusiastically. A smile formed on Eunyoung's face as Yumi too joined in the applause. "We're so proud of you, Eunyoung!" said her mom.

"You do this every time I write something," said Eunyoung, embarrassed as she hid her face in her hands.

"It's because everything you write is so profoundly eloquent that Shakespeare would start shaking in his grave," replied Yumi dramatically.

"She's right, Eunyoung," their mom piped in, "At this rate you're going to become the CEO of a big news firm."

Eunyoung and Yumi exchanged glances, smiling at the fact that she had just predicted the future that only they knew about.

"Don't count your chickens," Eunyoung shrugged.

"You never know," said Yumi, grinning.

☾⋆｡𖦹 °✩⋆｡° ✮

nayoung's notes: rare occasion where sunjae's dad doesn't embarrass his son.

delphi's notes: the best part of this chapter is how eunyoung's mom suddenly becomes a fortune teller.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!