Kimchay - Blog Posts

KP AU

where everything is the same except Macau and Kim are trans. Kim is FTM but likes to fuck with gender (in true Jeff style). WIK is an open lgbt supporter and supports lgbt youth charities but is not open as trans (cause wik was formed after he had transitioned and he just enjoyed being seen as male and completely forgot to mention that he had been born in the wrong body).

Kim is the mafia son who was a daughter and who’s only future was to be sold into marriage alliances. That would explain so much about Kim’s alienation from his family. He moved out as soon as he could and got everything changed, name, legal identity. He got surgery and testosterone. Tankhurn helped with that. Also he and Macau vibe every so often for complaining sessions. He helped Macau get access to good medical care.

Nothing about the plot changes. Kim completely forgets to tell Chay (he’s so comfortable in himself to see it as a thing that needs brought up). Until one day they’re changing together and Kim pulls his packet from his trousers and Chay goes brain dead. 😂

Kinneporsche x Mo Dao Zu Shi crossover au. Wei Wuxian as Porsche

Lan Zhan as kinn

Zichen as tankhun. They're both so dramatic and sneaky. Like I feel like if xichen was a little less reserved. There both captains of thr ship

Suzhui as Kim. Lil cute badass nerds

Jin ling or jingyi as Chay. It's honestly hard to choose they both have so much potential.

Qiren as Korn

Now heres the tough choice

Nie huaisang as pete

Jiang cheng as Vegas

Or

Nie mengjue as pete

Meng Yao as Vegas

Remember with that second one they can't also be Arm and the other body guard which i think would fit them to

The plots should remain the same with little changes to add some mdzs flavor to it.

pathetic fallacy porchay for @saturnscode's fic for the @kinnporschebigbang

Fic link: Anywhere but here

Bet your ass that Chay jumped into that WiKxReader tag as soon as Kim left his house.

why is Jeff Satur actually the king of doomed yaoi

Kim's chains & their possible symbolism (Special)

I suggest reading the previous 3 part series I made before this

The conflict

This is the only instances in ep 9 where Kim is conflicted when Porchay confesses. After seeing that mini shrine on his wall, hearing the love song, thinking of him during his own songwriting & now the innocent confession.

Kim stopped himself the last time when Chay serenaded him. And now Porchay has the audacity to be this cute innocent boy who promised God to risk confessing in return if he passed his college entrance exam.

Kim can't take it anymore. This is the ONLY instance until ep 12 where Kim has let his emotions get the better of him WHILE wearing a necklace.

This goes a long way to show the intensity of Kim's feelings. Considering he's somebody who suppresses his emotions with ease compared to an average person.

It can serve as symbolism for Kim letting himself indulge his emotional needs. He is removing his self imposed restrictions & involuntarily choosing to love. Choosing to be selfish in satisfying his momentary desire instead of constantly looking at the bigger picture.

And later when Kim gets a hug & hugs back. He's overwhelmed. He realises the warmth of a hug after being seemingly touch starved since years.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Kim's chains & their possible symbolism (Part 2/3)

No necklaces

We can take this at face value.

Kimhan unhinged Theerapanyakul.

In first 2 instances, Porchay is in kidnapped. And Kim himself is in action when he has Kinn & the bodyguards who could have rescued Chay for him. He not only risked his life, but also God forbid if he came out alive & Chay caught his lie.

These are the only cases where Kim is thinking about Chay as the boy he loves & not a source of information. Which is why he's acting based on emotions & not a well thought plan.

In the third picture he's visibly disturbed for someone who mostly comes across as stoic.

It also explains why an unexpressive person like Kim's first response is violence. If we look at what he did at the club, (4th pic) he need not have the been the person to hit first.

In conclusion, we see a glimpse of how fiery Kim actually is if not for that ice water if "rationality" he always dips himself in.

Part 1

Part 3

Special

Kim's chains & their possible symbolism (Part 1/3)

The safety pins

Both are instances when Kim is intruding other's rooms to find information. Therefore the "I'm a safe space" symbolism of safety pin doesn't stand here. Especially when Kim is breaking into the place where others keep their things safe.

It could probably mean Kim is poking his nose here like a pin 😂😂

The safety pin is holding 2 ends of the chain, so it could also mean he's trying to piece together all the clues & information he can lay his hands on.

Part 2

Part 3

Special

Kim : So what's your type?

Chay : Handsome, musician, kind, good hair, oblivious, charming, mysterious and talented.

Kim : Sounds a lot like me...too bad we're just friends

Chay : Did I mention oblivious?

Kim : Yeah, why?

Chay : Okay, just making sure

How Kim & WIK were 2 different people until Porchay came along.

Part 4/4

For the first time Kim almost immediately loses his composure on hearing Porchay didn't turn up for his college interview.

Let's take a moment to appreciate how deep Porchay's love was. 😭 He must have dreamt of joining music school after idolising WIK. The more he got to know him, his idol became his muse & first love. (There's a quote which says "Love is creating a religion with a fallible God") He loved him with all his heart so when WIK left so did Porchay's ability to make art 🥺🥺🥺🥺

The vexed person here is not Kim but WIK. He was surprised after hearing even teachers found Porchay as promising as he did. He did spend time tutoring Chay & as a teacher, he was hoping his student to do well.

He also knows Chay is neither incapable nor weak. He was not like regular kids whose main struggles were graduating high school or getting into college. Porchay was coping with their uncle's betrayal. Porsche abruptly leaving him alone with a letter & no way of communication. He was fighting his battles alone the whole time & still managed to stay positive.

Kim probably went thinking Porchay lost confidence & needs reassurance. But then he realized he had been a monster all along. Because it hit him that WIK was the reason Porchay learnt to dream. And KIM was the one who crushed it.

When Porchay tells him off, Kim realises for the first time that he's not in position to lecture anyone. Now that he let someone know about his double life, who was he to teach about separating personal & professional lives? What right did he have to tell anything, when Porchay reminded that he never interfered in Kim's life?

When Kim left warning "From now on, what you do is your darn decision" I don't think he meant, "I'm no longer going to care about you or protect you."

Rather, he must have meant, "You're growing into an adult who needs to take responsibility of his life. So don't do anything that you would regret later." He's right. Porchay should have prioritised college. He's got a long life ahead to wallow, date & break up.

But it doesn't look right when it's coming from Kim, who grew up the way he did, has almost no issues listening to his head over his heart, and is now failing to either hold on or let go. He first leads him on, breaks his heart, and still continues to show up like a knight in shining armor. Only walk away without even an elaborate apology. He can't nurse his broken heart & move on until you withdraw from his life P'Kim😪

Now ik we're all rooting for a happy ending for our y/n x celebrity in a mafia au 😂

It's unrealistic to expect Kim to turn into this openly affection person with good communication skills. It's also weird if Porchay adjusts seamlessly into the world of organised crime. Yes even I want Kim to go out of his way & give Porchay a grand apology. I also hope Porchay says that he understands but he's still hurt. That he takes his time to heal & forgive.

A believeable happy ending would be the one where Porchay agrees to make an effort to understand Kim & his life. Meanwhile Kim stops separating parts of himself and promises to love Porchay as Kimhan Theerapanyakul instead WIK or KIM.

Love is not an end result but the efforts made every single day.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

How Kim & WIK were 2 different people until Porchay came along.

Part 3/4

No thanks to Tawan for kidnapping Chay to use him as a pawn, it does in a way solidify the fact Kim hasn't & will probably never love a person like he loved Porchay. (And rightfully so)

He now sees no point in saving Porcahy from himself. (Considering Porchay's own elder brother is now Kinn's boyfriend so he's now inevitably linked to the major family & at risk for the rest of his life) This was exactly the situation he was trying to avoid in the first place. But now, it still occurred for different reasons. So he decides to do the next best thing. Follow his heart & fight for his love.

Note how Kim risks coming himself? Despite having professionals who could have done the job for him? It's not only his life that's in danger. He's risking Chay discovering his lies. He's going back to the life he tried so hard to avoid.

Kinn doesn't hesitate to shoot at Vegas, his own cousin. He came with one clear objective. Rescue the love of his life & kill everyone involved in harming him.

Kim is successful in not only saving Porchay but also in protecting his identity from him. He seems to hate confrontation & would rather ghost than dump somebody (which frankly makes him a big jerk but it's a show about criminals so)

Once Kim learns some ugly truth (which I think hasn't been completely disclosed as of ep12) & the fact that Porchay is now living in the main house; he is assured Porchay is going to be safe from physical harm. So he chooses to focus on his plan. He's still a little gentle in turning down when he could've been snarky & ended it sooner. But he's still a jerk :))

What happens next is interesting. While Porchay starts losing his innocence owing to heartbreak (He's Good boy gone bad y'all!!! Any MOAs in the house?!!) Kim stops separating WIK from himself.

It's like they're apart, but they're still growing together. Porchay is learning that love is not just roses but also the thorns while Kim is realising the rose's beauty & fragrance is worth the blood & thorns.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

How Kim & WIK were 2 different people until Porchay came along.

Part 2/4

Now that we have identified his 2 personalities let's go back a to where all the trouble started.

Kim being surprised that an experienced bodyguard like Big was replaced with a newbie due to his injury. The more he learnt about the preferential treatment Prosche received from both Kinn & Korn, he immediately smelled something fishy. So he decides to do the background check Korn deliberately didn't.

When he discovers Porchay is Porsche's brother he doesn't hesitate to take advantage of his fanboy. He never intended to be cruel, he considered it an exchange for the time he would invest in tutoring.

Disclosing that Kim & WIK are 2 sides of the same coin was a calculated move. He knew that the Kittisawads & Theerapanyakuls' fates would only get more intertwined in future. (Also notice how Kim mentions "sad love song" to Big in their conversation. Could that mean he knew about Big's feelings for Kinn without anyone telling?) However, he is not subtle in ways (lucky Kim that Porchay was too näive to suspect) possibly due to lack of social engagement.

Kim's only miscalculation was his budding feelings for Porchay. He is barely in touch with his feelings to be able to do something before it's too late. We see Kimhan smiling only when he discovers Chay fanboying over him (the texts & his room wall) or when Chay is singing. So it is not Kim, but WIK the artist & tutor falling for Porchay.

So in essence, Kim asked him to write a song on Porsche but WIK fell in love with the song. WIK asked him to write a love song & WIK fell in love with Chay.

Kimhan doesn't even realize his feelings until he can't help but smile at the song dedicated for him. (Let's just take a moment to appreciate it 🤭)

He acknowledges his feelings for the first time when the thought of Porchay clears his creative block. After all, for an artist, you know you're in love when they become your muse.

He is well aware that he has to stop seeing Porchay so that both their feelings don't get hurt. But WIK takes over Kim when Porchay shyly confesses. (Seriously, as if he wasn't cute enough already - Porchay reveals he promised God he would risk confessing to his celebrity crush. How could someone NOT melt at that innocence)

For the first time in the series we see Kim follow his heart over his head like most humans. Considering he let himself feel happy despite his overly practical self. It goes a long way to highlight the intensity of his feelings.

Like a well crafted character his personality doesn't change overnight. His original habits resurface very soon.

He stares at his own hand in happiness mingled with guilt. Yes he would love to vow to protect Porchay's innocent sunshine smile & teenage dreams. Forever. But he hates himself. Because he can't. Nothing can help him escape his reality. He's a Theerapanyakul. He's a threat to anyone he loves. He's not allowed to love.

He feels unworthy of someone who says "I love you" without expecting anything in return. He hates himself for letting himself be happy & forget all this worries. He would have left Porchay with a note that day if not for the mishap.

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

How Kim & WIK were 2 different people until Porchay came along.

Part 1/4

Lets first look at the 2 personas of Kimhan Theerapanyakul

Kim

Third son of the major family

Shrewd, calculative & sort of a silent killer in human form

Has no difficulty stopping emotions from meddling with his rational mind

Grew up in a world of organised crime

Watched his eldest brother get kidnapped & suffer from unhealed trauma

Was encouraged to inculcate trust issues & never believe in the goodness that exists in the world

Extremely good at reading people

Introverted

The last 2 points could either be inherent or acquired. Witnessing his brothers struggle, the constant rivalry between major & minor family must have made him lose his innocence quite early without even trying. (Imagine how sick it can be when the adults encourage cousins to be rivals)

I strongly believe he discovered something disturbing about his family which made him choose to move out & isolate himself. His ability to shut down his emotions with ease could again be inherent or acquired, but it only makes him more dangerous if he were to actively get involved in crime.

He could be gathering information after moving out for either of the following reasons

He discovered a family secret he shouldn't have which even his elder brothers are unaware of

He is disinterested in the family business & power play; lucky enough to have Kinn who made the sacrifice

It's all a disguise to gather intelligence & protect his brother from far

He has a plan which should be executed without his father's knowledge

WIK

Student at a music school

Celebrity, singer & songwriter, plays guitar & piano

Perceived as a common civilian by public

Has a good fan following

Gets equally impressed & excited on meeting a dedicated fanboy

My stance is that he wouldn't agree to tutor Porchay even if he was not a mafia's son. Because he is a celebrity; he would want to keep a healthy distance from his fans.

He himself admits to Porchay that WIK is the side of him which he prefers. For someone who lives in self imposed isolation (privacy is now at double risk as a celebrity & mafia prince) his art is an outlet for emotions. Music is his safe space.

Kimhan Theerapanyakul has no trouble compartmentalizing his life & switching personas.... Until Chay enters his life.

Part 2

Part 4

Thinking about how this poem referenced in Hometown Cha Cha Cha perfectly suits KimChay.💔 Quite literally 😔 considering their interactions happen near entrances 🥺 not to mention they were each other's muse 😭😭😭😭

"The Gatekeeper" by Kim Haeng Soon (tr. David Bowles)

It’s my job to say, “You can’t do that here.”

It’s my job to deny your objective.

It’s my job to deny you the next day, too.

It’s my job to wait for you the following day to deny you again.

It’s my job to wait for you the day after that and fall in love with you.

So it’s my job to deny my love.

“I won’t cry over my vocation,” I wrote.

But while writing in my diary,

I sometimes wept.

KimChay's happy ending. (x)