Life Lessons - Blog Posts
To be loved by a deep and loving heart is to be awakened into an odyssey of the soul.
Where the warmth invites your shadows to dance in the light, revealing your deepest fears and hidden insecurities. All synchronously designed to propel you towards your highest potential.
The contentment in solitude is not the absence of a life, but the presence of oneself.
Longing is not a wound, it’s a sign of your humanity ☯️
Recent musing
Friendships come in different forms, yet we often overlook that a friend represents a relationship. Just as life ebbs and flows in a romantic relationship, a similar dynamic occurs in friendship.
I have two wonderful close friends. One, whom we'll call A, has been my day one; we have been closely connected for almost 20 years. She feels like a part of me in another body, but with her own unique twist. My second friend, whom we'll call Y, is someone whose energy matches mine perfectly. I made friends with Y in my twenties, and I look forward to a lifelong relationship with her.
A and I rarely fight; we see eye to eye on about 95% of things and truly understand each other. However, with Y, we do have disagreements from time to time, but the love between us remains strong.
I've noticed that when you share a conflict you're having with someone, people's responses often depend on your relationship with that person. For example, if it's a romantic partner, they might try to help you see things from a different perspective, unless the disagreement is particularly severe or the partner is abusive. In those cases, people generally won't advise you to end the relationship. However, when it comes to friendships, it seems that we tend to have less compassion.
We often believe that all friendships should resemble the ideal of "i and A," where everything is perfect. However, in reality, friendships are more like "i and T." It's normal to have disagreements; what's important is how we handle them. It's okay to fight, make amends, learn from the experience, and grow together. There's no need to cut ties with a friend over a misunderstanding. While I recognize that this might be an unpopular opinion, I believe it's a necessary reality. Personally, I tend to reflect seriously before ending any relationship, but I notice that many people react impulsively during conflicts in friendships.
My ramble tonight is simply that your friends deserve a second chance, or even a third and fourth, too, as long as they are not malicious and do not intentionally harm you.
Fe
Musings part 209
Is loving a part of hurting or is hurting a part of loving
We meet someone who makes us smile and happy and excited but they also make us sad, hurt and upset
It’s like a dance between two souls, is it a forever dance? Where we find each other and do the dance in every single life time?
Or is this life time sadly not the forever after one but the dance one
I’ll never know, all I know is, in every moment that I am not with you, I long to be.
and so we stand, 2 lovers on opposite side of a great river without a clue on how to cross but unable to walk away maybe eventually we will find a way
Hyper independence and help
These days you feel let down, your therapist says accept help, you don’t have to do it all on your own
Almost immediately you start to realize you get a lot of unsolicited support and then instead of saying no, you try a new approach, you say yes why not
You start to feel good, wow it’s nice to be helped until you get 2 disappointing news out of 3 and you feel so deflated and even more alone than you felt when you didn’t accept help
And you wonder why you tried in the first place but you also know you have to keep trying cause disappointment and handling disappointment is part of the learnings
Love comes back around
Sitting at the airport at 2am
Thinking about love and relationships and how they encompass so much of our lives
How someone you think you’d never love again becomes a life long partner
How a long time friendship turns into a steamy love story
How some people could never really move on from a love that was lost
How two ex lovers, one day, can’t be in the same room because feelings
How we miss our pets when we travel for a bit
How mum’s sometimes live for their kids
We go about our little lives but there is a big part of us and simply wants to love and be loved
There is no love here
Some places are simply selfish, they take and take and take for as long as it’s possible, some places are confusing, there is no back, there is no front, just a low buzzing level of chaos, some places are factual, they lack passion, authenticity, vibes, but the places that hurt are places where you realize that there is no love, knowing there is no love here, gives a different level of pain, it’s like a waking up but instead of coming to reality you are actually waking up on the opposite side, it’s cold and empty and a fucking nightmare
Space
Spaccccceeeeeeee
Spa ccccc eeeeeeee
It allows you breathe, to take a moment off that intense focus and then come back with fresh eyes to look at it again and maybe to see something different, something new, and maybe find a solution to that problem.
So take space, take up spaccceeeee
How do you decide what’s best for you?
I’m not sure if I can answer that question, I think it starts with asking yourself the hard questions.
Are you happy?
Will you be happy?
Does this make you happy?
Is this what you really want or is it what I think I should want?
Great Things Every Woman Need To Remember You are stylish, beautiful, creative, nurturing, able to do anything you put your mind to, one of a kind, somebody’s hero and so much more.
When I was 14, I heard my dad talking to one of his friends. My dad’s friend was expecting their first child and found out it was going to be a boy. They wanted a girl. My dad told his friend that he and my mom wanted 2 kids, a girl and a boy. Their first child was a boy, my older brother. My dad said, looking back, he was so happy they had a boy first.
When I was born, he said they really wanted a daughter. So they decided to have a third child.
I learned at that point, I was never wanted.
There is no question that my sister is my dad’s favorite. Then my brother. Then me.
There is no question that my brother is my mom’s favorite. My sister is a close second. Most the time, I don’t even think she likes me.
Life has taught me that I am just a disposable cup.
Like this cup, I don’t have any value, once someone is done with what they want from me, I get discarded. When people are done with my friendship, or tired of my affection, or don’t need my help anymore, I get left behind. I am sometimes left on the table, or forgotten, or tossed in the trash. But all too often, I end up crushed along the side the road.
When I was in 2nd grade, my best friend had a sleepover for his friends. I wasn’t invited. I wasn’t popular enough, or good enough in sports, or cool enough. We had been best friends for 6 years, we grew up together. Then I was tossed aside. For the longest time, it hurt really bad. Now, it’s just a reminder of how little I’m worth.
Life has taught me that I am just a disposable cup.
Like this cup, I don’t have any value, once someone is done with what they want from me, I get discarded. When people are done with my friendship, or tired of my affection, or don’t need my help anymore, I get left behind. I am sometimes left on the table, or forgotten, or tossed in the trash. But all too often, I end up crushed along the side the road.
Life has taught me that I am just a disposable cup.
Like this cup, I don’t have any value, once someone is done with what they want from me, I get discarded. When people are done with my friendship, or tired of my affection, or don’t need my help anymore, I get left behind. I am sometimes left on the table, or forgotten, or tossed in the trash. But all too often, I end up crushed along the side the road.
Remember when you confused a life lesson as a friend? Yeah, me too.
The difference between "nice" and "kind" is easy to miss, but don't mix them up; aim for a good balance.
