Marauders Angst - Blog Posts
I truly wonder what was going through Sirius' mind when he learned about his mother's passing. I assume a big part of him felt vindicated, happy, free, maybe even a bit detached and indifferent (after all he hadn't seen his mother in a while) but I have to wonder if a part of him grieved the mother he never had, the love he never got. A part of me wonders if he got overwhelmed by the unfairness of his childhood, the acceptance that was so expected for the people around him and was never given to him, the parts of Sirius that broke and would always be a bit shattered because of the way his mother raised him. What if a small,tiny part of him, the part that would forever be a child desperately wanting his family's support, couldn't help but remember the small moments of protectiveness and gentleness his mother showed to him before everything, the way she hugged him before his first year at Hogwarts , the way she cleaned his bruises even though he knows she is the one that caused them
Regulus' funeral was the first time Sirius saw his family again after he moved out. He thought he could handle it, he had to for Regulus, but what he couldn't handle was them standing emotionless, impassive, looking almost bored, as the coffin of his brother, the man who always tried so hard to please his parents, was being lowered to the ground. And Sirius just snapped. Grief came crashing down on him and he broke down crying,yelling that it was their fault, that they had brainwashed Regulus and set him up for this, that they were heartless monsters who cared for nothing but their legacies. He stayed at Regulus' grave long after the funeral, hugging the stone, knowing it was the first time he had hugged his brother since they were 14. Knowing that he never hated Regulus, he never could hate Regulus, that was his younger brother after all, the boy who looked at him with stats in his eyes, and knowing that Regulus died thinking his older brother despised him
"maybe in another life i could have stopped my little brother from turning to the dark side"
"maybe in another life i could have stopped my little brother from turning to the dark side"
Am I throwing whatever JKRoach wrote about werewolves out the window for the sake of my fic? Yes, yes I am.
the art of letting go; jp x sb x rl
pairing: james potter x sirius black x remus lupin
synopse: James always wants to take care and love the others so much, that he sometimes forgets to do so with himself. thankfully, he has two amazing boyfriends to do so.
warnings: slight angst, panic attacks, self hate kinda, poly relationship, maybe peter redemption, hurt/comfort, i’m actually proud of this, too many italics
word count: 3.7k
a/n: long time no see :) literally love the idea of these three together. i’ve only read things where james is the one putting sirius and remus back together, so why not change that? also, if you don’t like, don’t read.
James always felt a necessity to care. To give. To love.
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