Matthewfairchild - Blog Posts

James: I’m not scared of you! None of us are!

Christopher: I kind of am

James: Christopher, shut up!

Thomas: I have a boyfriend now

Matthew, encouragingly: A boyfriend?

Thomas: [reflexively gives a panicked peace sign]

Matthew: TWO boyfriends?!

First day at the Shadowhunter Academy

Matthew: Hey. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Matthew.

James: Hi. I’m disgusted.

Henry: If you're open to me getting a pet...

Charlotte: Yeah, of course. Get a dog.

Henry: No, I don't want a dog. I want a cockatoo to take rollerblading. How cool would that be?

Matthew: Jamie, what's that note?

Christopher: Bet it's from a girl in the lunchroom who wants a taste of corn dog.

Thomas: Was that a sex joke?

Christopher: It's...

Christopher: ...

Christopher: I don't know, shut up.

Lucie: He's vanished into thin air. Why is it always the great-looking ones who do that?

Matthew: I'm making an effort not to be insulted.

Lucie: I mean... men.

Matthew: Okay, thanks, that really helped...

Matthew: I hope I can be as cool as you guys in 30 years.

Will, whispering: Does he think we're 50?

Gabriel, whispering back: No, no, he's just really bad at math.

Christopher, holding two pairs of shoes: Ok, gun to your head: which pair should I bring?

Matthew: Gun to my head? I'd say pull the trigger.

Alastair: Something tells me Matthew isn't crazy about me.

Thomas: Something tells me that too and it was him.

Lucie: What's that smell?

Matthew: Everyone has their own theory.

Matthew: Charles thinks it's mold.

Matthew: I think it's Charles.

Matthew: Alastair, what do you do?

Alastair: I just travel a bit... I'm a tourist, I suppose.

Matthew: So, you're unemployed?

Alastair: No...

Matthew: Have you got a job?

Alastair: Wha- no, not really, no...

Matthew: So, you ARE unemployed.

Matthew: But yet you still have enough money to dye your hair.

Lucie: There was a guy I liked...

Matthew: I'm the guy.

Lucie: You're not the guy.

Matthew: You call me "sweety" all the time.

Lucie: I call everyone sweety.

Matthew: ...

Lucie: ...

Matthew: You tramp!

Will: If I had a son I want him to be like Matthew.

Tessa: You do have a son.

Will: When we first moved in here, he was this sweet kid that lived next door.

Tessa: The weird kid next door...

I knowwww, Tessa actually loves him!

Alastair: It's Thomas' turn to be out in the world, interact with other grown-ups. While I get to stay home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer...

Alastair: ... fill her backpack with bricks and throw her into the Candy Cane River.