Nino: Dude, calm down.
Adrien: To quote Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 3, Line 92, ‘No’.
Alix: *sets skull on table*
Nathaniel, Adrien: *look at her*
Nathaniel: Alix?
Alix: Yeah?
Adrien: Skull?
Alix: Oh, yeah, it’s my brother’s.
Adrien: Oh, okay.
Nathaniel: It’s your brother’s?!
Alix: He was annoying me, so I grabbed his skull and skated off, but don’t worry he has plenty.
Nathaniel: Alix, no, like what the fu-
Adrien: Nah, seems legit.
Nathaniel: *losing it*
Adrien and Alix: *don’t see what’s wrong*
Alix: Any idea what’s wrong with him?
Adrien: Not at all.
Alix: Me and the girls plan on getting ice cream, wanna tag along?
Adrien: Sure.
And this is the story of how Marinette and Adrien went on an ice cream date, all thanks to Alix’ brother’s skull.
Nino: So, how’s it going with Mari, bro?
Adrien: *flustered* Actually really well. I’ve been dropping hints that I like her.
LATER
Adrien: *walks to Marinette*
Adrien: I can’t stand you.
Nino: *mumbles* May the heroes be with me.
Adrien’s first prank in his early childhood
Adrien: Mommy! Nathalie! Look! It’s muggy outside.
Emilie and Nathalie: *stop what they're doing*
Emilie: Again?
Nathalie: If we look outside and all the mugs are surrounding the house. I swear to-
Adrien: *wide eyes* Nathalie! You can’t swear! That’s not nice!
Nathalie: *sighs cause she knows she’s gonna regret this*
Nathalie: Do you want to do a really funny prank on your father with us?
Emilie: It's overdue. And with Adrien, no one can stop us!
Cat Noir: Do you know why Koalas aren’t classified as bears?
Ladybug: Because they are marsupials.
Cat Noir: ...
Ladybug: ...
Cat Noir: *starts to leave*
Cat Noir: *scoffs* Because they are marsupials! NO, IT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE THE KOALAFICATION!
Bonus:
Kim, who heard Chat: Hey Max! Did you know that Koalas aren’t classified as bears?
Max: Yes, Kim. Yes, I did.
Kim: It’s because they don’t have the Koalafication.
Max: *sighs* No, Kim. It’s because they are marsupials.
Kim: Marsu-what?
Max: Mar
Kim: Mar
Max: su
Kim: su
Max: pials
Kim: pials
Max: Marsupials
Kim: Marsupials
Max: Shall I explain it?
Kim: Yes, please.
Max: *explains*
Kim: Oh, makes sense.
Chloe: I would never brag!
Alya: *deadpan* You once called yourself the proof of gods existence.
Ondine:I think we should break up.
Kim: Oh...
Ondine:It’s not you it’s me-
Alix: mArIo!
Adrien: *entering his father’s room* Father? Do you want to have a quickie?
Gabriel: *chocking on the air* Wh-what?
Adrien: A quickie. You know, one of those tart things?
Gabriel: ...
Gabriel: IT’S PRONOUNCED QUICHE!!! AND YES I DO!
Cat Noir: Hey Mari, do you want me to do a tarot card reading for you?
Mari: You can do that?
Cat Noir: Uh-huh. *lays down cards* Okay, so this one tells me you are a heavenly angle, this one says you can be clumsy at times, that one shows me you have a magical smile that lights up-
Marinette: Cat, those aren’t tarot cards, those are pictures of me.
Marinette: Adrien, could you ever see us being more than just friends?
Adrien: *le gasp* Totally! I’ve been waiting for you to ask that for so long!
Marinette: *getting her hopes up high* R-really?!
Adrien: Yes, I could totally see us as superheroes, hang on, let me find the picture I drew.
Marinette: *internal breakdown*
Nathalie: Well done, Sir! You didn’t akumatize anything in 2 weeks, 6 hours, 39 minutes and 41 seconds! Here you go.
Gabriel: Is this a Sticker?
Nathalie: Not just any sticker, it has ‘Me-wow’ on it, as a Cat Noir pun, you know, because you haven’t tried to get his Miraculous in 2 weeks, 6 hours 40 minutes and 2 seconds!
Gabriel: I am not in a nursery.
Nathalie: In case you don’t want it, I can always just give it to Adrien, he is ecstatic every time I give him one.
Adrien: *standing in the door way with excitement all over his face* A sticker? For me? With a pun? A cat pun? A-are you serious Nathalie?
Nathalie: *gestures to Adrien with a ‘told you so’ look*
Gabriel: No! Back off! It’s mine! I earned this!
Adrien: *tears are coming* Bu-but... I...
Nathalie: Here Adrien, for you. Because you’re paw-sitively claw-some.
Adrien: Oh, thank you Nathalie! You’re the greatest person alive! Here, I have something for you too, I drew a picture of us as sticker-superheroes!
Mme Bustier: So how do you plan on explaining your way out of this one?
Alix: Verbally.
Kim: Because judging by the look on M Damocles‘ face, the musical number we prepared isn’t going to work.
Nathaniel: You know, I came here to talk you about the fact that boys don’t get periods, like at all. But now we’ve been once talking for hours because you’re just so damn interesting. And we only talked about your way to school!
Alix: I could just stop being interesting, I mean- watch this!
Alix: *freezes*
Alix: ...
Nathaniel: Hello?
Alix: ...
Nathaniel: Well now I have to wait here and see how long you can keep this up!
Marinette: So, who’s the more clingy one?
Chloe: *twirling a lock of Kagamis hair lovingly, with other arm around her waist and placing a kiss on her cheek before answering* Kagami, obviously.
Adrien: *doing the same with Marinette* I know how you feel, Chloe.
*Nathaniel and Marc are chatting, Rose gives Nathaniel advice*
Rose: Ask him something.
Nathaniel: A-alright.
Nathaniel, texting: How are you feeling today?
Marc (Text): I’m fine.
Rose: Something more personal.
Nathaniel: Okay.
Nathaniel, texting: Do you already have your period?
Rose: Boys don’t get those.
Nathaniel: But... but Alix, she... she
Marc (Text): Two years ago.
Marc: I like your Shirt!
Nathaniel: Thank you!
Nathaniel: *whispering to Rose* What do I do? He said he likes my shirt. Do I give it to him???
*Adrien and Plagg meeting Master Fu*
Plagg: Adrien thinks that all gigs are boys and all cats are girls.
Master Fu: Are you joking?
Adrien: There’s no way to disprove that, have you ever seen a cat penis?
Plagg: Hello, I am Plagg, a cat kwami, and also male.
Master Fu: You do know that both Plagg and Chat Noir are male, right?
Max: Okay, I will just shortly go to the toilette.
Kim: Ok.
Max: I will be right down the floor.
Alix: We know.
Max: So don’t do anything stupid, understood?
Kim: Uhu.
Max: *leaves*
Kim: Alix, I dare you to climb to the roof with me from outside the school.
Alix: *climbing out the window* You’re so on, Meathead.
Queen Bee: Why do LB and Chat always look like they’re walking in slow-mo?
Rena Rouge: You see it too?
Queen Bee: And how they always look disheveled, but not too disheveled.
Rena Rouge: Right? They are the reason I believe in God.
Adrien: Why’s Sabrina asleep on your shoulder?
Chloe: *quietly* Shut up! This is cute.
Adrien: An hour ago you were complaining how annoying she is.
Chloe: People can change, and their mind can too.
Ladybug: We’ll handle this the way we always do!
Rena Rouge: We’ll ask my followers!
Ladybug: *you kidding me look* ...
Carapace: We’ll just sit back and wait for it to fix itself?
Ladybug: *still looking* ...
Queen Bee: We’ll call Daddykins?
Ladybug: ...
Master Fu: We’ll hand out Miraculous to random people, we don know, without saying a word.
Ladybug: *slowly losing hope* ...
Cat Noir: I’ll sacrifice myself?
Ladybug: * completely lost hope by now*
Ladybug: No, by sticking together and never giving up!!!
Nathalie: We made a map of all the possible places Ladybug and Cat Noir could be.
Nooroo: *realises he’s dealing with absolute idiots*
Nooroo: This is just a map of Paris.
Gabriel: Exactly, we have no idea where she is.
Rose: *sitting down in her seat next to Juleka* So, how’s the most beautiful person in the world doing?
Juleka: I don’t know, how is she-
Chloe: *from the other said of the room* I’m doing fabulous as always!
Kim: You know if I don’t have a baby in 10 years, and you don’t have a baby, we could-
Chloe: Kim, no.
Kim: 20.
Chloe:No
Kim: 30 years?
Chloe: ...sure?
Ladybug: Good Morning
Rena Rouge: Good Morning
Carapace: Good Morning
Chat Noir: You all sound like robots, why don’t you spice it up a little bit?
Queen Bee: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!
Rena Rouge: He said a little bit, Drama Queen.