Much Ado About Nothing - Blog Posts
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anyways the version of much ado about nothing starring catherine tate and david tennant as beatrice and benedick is a Classic. david tennant’s benedick is FULL chaotic dumbass, and catherine tate’s beatrice is past being full of rage and is completely done with everyone from the very beginning. plus, they just work off each other so well.
not to mention the costumes and props. benedick in drag? BENEDICK IN JORTS AND A SUPERMAN SHIRT? beatrice wearing a suit? beatrice swaggering around with a beer in her hand, while benedick sips on pink, fruity cocktails? benedick writing his love song to beatrice on one of those stupid little electric keyboards? unparalleled artistry.
The Much Ado About Nothing slime tutorial got taken down 🥲😥😭😭😭
Am i using one of my weirdly seen posts to try and manifest a stupid crossover into existence? Well yes indeed, hear me out: 👐Hangster x Much Ado About Nothing👐
I was watching for the 5665667th time Much Ado about Nothing, and the vibes between Bradley/Jake and Beatrice/Benedick are UNCANNY! Embittered exes who are seeing each other after a considerable time apart and trade sassy barbs without missing a beat every time they share the same space and (as in the general fandom consensus regarding TGM post canon and headcanon) get together thanks to hijinks and the meddling of their friends???? Immaculate, perfect, no notes, chef kiss.
Mind you, i'd never write it, but i would die laughing if i ever see this fanfic out there in the wild.
My favourite Shakespeare quotes:
"We know what we are, but know not what we may be" - Hamlet
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts" - As You Like It
"Good company, good wine, good welcome can make good people" -Henry VIII
"This above all: to thine own self be true" -Hamlet
"There is nothing either good or bad, but things making it so" -Hamlet
"I do love nothing in this world so well as you; is not that strange?" -Much ado about nothing
"O happy dagger, This is thy sheath: there rust, and let me die" -Romeo and Juliet
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool" -As You Like It
"Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me" -Antony and Cleopatra
"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." -Julius Caesar
"Et tu, Brute?" -Julius Caesar
"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" - A Midsummer night's dream
"For she had eyes and chose me" -Othello
"But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve. For daws to peck at: I am not what I am" -Othello
"If she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world" -The comedy of errors
"Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!" -Macbeth
"Look like the innocent flower, But be the serpent under it" -Macbeth
"Life ... is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing" -Macbeth
Shakespeare Incorrect Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 4
Benedick : Am I right, Beatrice?
Beatrice: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.
Hero: The salary of a clown is 51,000 dollars.
Hero, gesturing to Beatrice and Benedick fighting: And yet these idiots do it daily, and for free!
Friar Francis: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand?
Imogen: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.
Benedick: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.
Benedick: Why are you burning our marriage certificate!?
Beatrice: Good luck trying to return me without a receipt.
Hero: While I'm gone, you're in charge Claudio.
Claudio: Yes!
Hero, whispering to Beatrice: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want them to feel bad.
Beatrice: Obviously.
Beatrice: What do I get?
Benedick: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.
Beatrice: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.
Benedick: It won't be you.
Beatrice: I'll get my coat.
Hero, pointing a camera at Beatrice: There they are, our sweet baby.
Beatrice, holding a cigarette and a beer: What-?
Beatrice: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.
Claudio: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
Beatrice: And you came to me?
Claudio: Hero, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?
Hero: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.
Claudio: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Benedick.
Hero: Wait- Claudio, no-
*At the police station*
Beatrice: Hi, I’m here for Benedick.
Police officer: Who’s Benedick?
Beatrice: Ah, you must be new.
Beatrice: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Hero: But we lost Claudio.
Beatrice: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
Beatrice, to Claudio: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.
Hero: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
Claudio: Mine just says "Claudio no."
Hero: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
Beatrice: I didn't drink that much last night.
Hero: You were flirting with Benedick.
Beatrice: So what? They're my partner.
Hero: You asked if they were single.
Hero: And then you cried when they said they weren't.
Claudio: I only have 6 weeks left to live.
Don Pedro: Oh my god, really?!
Claudio: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.
Leonato: I just found out from Hero today that when Claudio died and the service did the 21-gun salute at their funeral, Beatrice said, “They should aim at the coffin to be sure.”
Beatrice: Benedick and I got married!!
Hero: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.
Beatrice: Claudio, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-
Claudio: Aww, thanks-
Beatrice: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.
Beatrice: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?
Claudio: Benedick, why are you standing in front of the fan?
Benedick: I’m waiting for Beatrice to look into our window when they come home. When the fan is blowing on me, I look like a fancy supermodel.
Claudio: You want Beatrice to think you’re a supermodel?
Benedick: Giving them eye candy is the least I can do. It’ll probably be the best part of their walk!
Claudio, sarcastically: You’re selfless.
Benedick: Thank you for noticing.
Hero: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*
Beatrice, poking Hero’s arm: Hero Hero. Hero. Hero.
Hero: WHAT?
Beatrice: …We’re out of Capri Suns—
Claudio: *working in a flower shop and minding their own business*
Benedick, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???
Claudio: Hey, Benedick? Can I get some dating advice?
Benedick: Just because I'm with Beatrice doesn't mean I know how I did it.
Beatrice: I hate you.
Benedick: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.
Benedick: Beatrice and I are no longer dating.
Beatrice: Benedick, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
Claudio: How is the most beautiful person in the world?
Hero: *blushing* I—
Benedick, butting into the conversation: Beatrice is perfect, thanks for asking.
Incorrect Shakespeare Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 3
Beatrice : I have very high standards, you know.
Benedick : I can make spaghetti...
Beatrice : Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!
Benedick : *on the phone* Hey Beatrice , do you know my blood type?
Beatrice : Of course, it's B negative.
Benedick : Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!
*Benedick and Beatrice are in Paris.*
Benedick : I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?
Beatrice : But...
Benedick : I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...
Beatrice : This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?
Benedick : Yeah.
Beatrice : But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.
Benedick : Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.
Beatrice : Okay, alright.
Benedick : Wait you like me? For my personality?
Beatrice : I know, I was surprised too.
Benedick , looking over Beatrice ’s shoulder: You can draw?
Beatrice , stopping what they were doing: You can speak?
Beatrice : BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
Benedick : Can I ask a dumb question?
Beatrice : Better than anyone I know.
Benedick : What are you eating?
Beatrice : You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.
Benedick : I like you, don't I?
Beatrice : I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.
Benedick : Beatrice, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.
Beatrice, to Benedick: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.
Benedick : Guess what I'm about to get!
Beatrice : On my nerves.
Beatrice : What are you doing here?
Benedick : I could ask you the same question.
Beatrice : I live here. This is my house.
Benedick : I should probably ask you a different question.
Benedick : I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Beatrice : Hi.
Benedick : *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
Benedick : Beatrice is playing hard to get.
Benedick : Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?
Beatrice : Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.
Benedick : I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back.
Beatrice : Why are you telling me this, I don't care.
Beatrice , right after Benedick leaves the room: I miss them already.
Benedick : Beatrice , I sense hostility.
Beatrice : Good, because I hate you.
Benedick : Are you busy?
Beatrice : Yes.
Benedick : Cool, listen to this...
Beatrice : Can I ask you for a favor?
Benedick : I would literally die for you, but continue.
Beatrice : We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.
Beatrice : You are an absolute fucking dork.
Benedick , singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!
Beatrice : *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.
Benedick , admiring a sleeping Beatrice : You’re so cute.
Beatrice , sleepily: I could beat your ass.
Benedick , lovingly: I know.
Benedick : Met a dumbass today. Awful.
Beatrice : You looked in a mirror?
Benedick : someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful.
Benedick: They don’t make them like me no more. I’m the last of my kind.
Beatrice: Thank god.
Benedick: Are we fighting or flirting?
Beatrice: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Benedick: Your point?
Beatrice: I can’t believe we have to be stuck in this room together!
Benedick, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate.
Benedick: We all have our demons.
Benedick, grabbing Beatrice: This one’s mine.
Benedick: Could you be anymore annoying?
Beatrice: Yes.
Benedick: This date is boring!
Beatrice: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
Benedick: Then why did you invite me?
Beatrice: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Beatrice I'll do whatever I want!
Benedick: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
Beatrice: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.
Incorrect Shakespeare Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 2
Benedick: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?
Benedick: Hey Beatrice, can you give me the opposite of these words?
Benedick: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
Beatrice: Never, Going, To, Give, You-
Beatrice: The fucking satisfaction.
Benedick, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?
Beatrice: *half asleep* Benedick, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to themself* the Queen.
Benedick: *venting endlessly to Beatrice about their week*
Beatrice, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.
Benedick: Beatrice, can I ask you a question?
Beatrice: You just did.
Benedick: Okay, can I ask you two questions?
Beatrice: You just did.
Benedick, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!
Beatrice: You just did.
Benedick: When?!
Beatrice: Just now.
Beatrice, to Benedick: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!
Benedick: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*
Benedick: Tommorrow's garbage day.
Beatrice: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.
Beatrice: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows.
Benedick: We have a problem.
Beatrice: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.
Benedick: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Beatrice: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Benedick: Yes.
Beatrice: I'd sleep.
Benedick: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
Beatrice: Mine just says "Beatrice no."
Benedick: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.
Beatrice: I want to kiss you.
Benedick, not paying attention: What?
Beatrice: I said if you die, I wont miss you.
Beatrice: A fistfight CAN be romantic.
Beatrice: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Benedick, are a fucking cactus.
Benedick: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Beatrice: What changed your mind?
Benedick: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.
Benedick: I’m in love with you.
Beatrice: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Benedick: I know.
Beatrice: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
Benedick: Even Beatrice and I have been getting closer. The other day, they gave me half of their sandwich.
Beatrice: I mistook them for a garbage can.
Leonato/Don Pedro: Woah dude, premarital handholding? That’s just not cool or groovy.
Beatrice : Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!
Beatrice/ Benedick: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.
Beatrice : If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.
Don John: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
Beatrice : I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!
Benedick : My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.
Beatrice : I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
Benedick , at Hero’s funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone: Of course. *They leave*
Benedick , leaning over Hero′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Hero : Yeah, no shit.
Beatrice , to Benedick : How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?
Beatrice : If I may interject...
Benedick : Oh, awesome, Beatrice was eavesdropping.
Benedick: Can I bother you for a second?
Beatrice: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
Beatrice: Hey, Benedick? I need advice.
Benedick: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?
Beatrice: My hands are cold.
Benedick: Here, let me hold them.
Beatrice: My lips are cold too.
Benedick: *covers Beatrice's mouth with their hand*
Incorrect Shakespeare Quotes: Much Ado About Nothing 1
Benedick: Beatrice, I screwed up, big time.
Beatrice: Benedick, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.
*
Benedick: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Beatrice: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Benedick: I don't know, surprise me!
*
Beatrice: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Benedick: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Beatrice, already taking off their clothes: God, Benedick, you’re so fucking stupid.
*
Beatrice: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Benedick: I wrote you a poem.
Beatrice, already crying: You did?
*
Benedick: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Beatrice: Peonies, why?
Benedick:
Beatrice: Were you going to get me flowers?
Benedick:
Beatrice:
Benedick: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
*
Benedick: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.
Beatrice: Go the fuck to sleep Benedick.
*
Beatrice: You’re overthinking this.
Benedick: You don’t know the appropriate level of thinking, Beatrice. What if I’m underthinking?
*
Benedick: I have a problem.
Beatrice: Kill it.
Benedick: Can you chill for like, two seconds?
*
Benedick: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other?
Beatrice: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending.
*
Beatrice, laying in bed: Get out of my room.
Benedick, standing just outside of the door frame: I’m not in your room.
*
Beatrice, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend?
Benedick, who’s running the drive thru: …
Benedick: Tequila.
*
Beatrice: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.
Benedick: That's great, Beatrice. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.
*
Beatrice: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*
Benedick: *standing on the roof* Bless you.
Beatrice: God?!
*
Benedick: Do we have any orange juice left?
Beatrice: *pours the remaining juice into their cup*
Beatrice: Sorry, we’re all out.
*
Benedick: Am I right, Beatrice?
Beatrice: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.
*
Benedick: Hey, Beatrice. What kind of flowers do you prefer?
Beatrice: I like sunflowers.
Benedick, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, shit-
*
Benedick: Go fuck yourself.
Beatrice: Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!
*
Beatrice: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.
*
Benedick: Capitalizing every word in a sentence is vomit inducing.
Beatrice: Enjoy Your Trip To Puke Land, Boy!
*
Beatrice: Benedick, can I ask you a question?
Benedick: Sure, anything.
Beatrice: Why don't you go back to your own house and leave us alone?
"Ooh Pride and Prejudice invented enemies to lovers-" Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth wish they had what Beatrice and Benedick have.
You know how when you're little and somebody gets upset with you that little voice in your head tells you that, if you died suddenly and tragically, they'd feel really bad about being mean to you? Well, that voice is Friar Francis from Much Ado About Nothing. And you know what? He's kinda right.
love it when a scrawny gay villain has a scrawnier, gayer sidekick hovering at their shoulder. sopping wet queer solidarity
She Mumford on my Sons til I Sigh No More
Yeah, so, you know what? How about some Shakespeare, but it's modern!au, everyone serves in the army, Beatrice is between gender-questioning and trans, and Benedick is just a wet pathetic bisexual
One year for class we read “Much Ado About Nothing” by Shakespeare, and all I’ll say is, Clarissa and Mark (from Clarissa’s DIY Wedding) reallllly remind me of Hero and Claudio (I think that was his name)
Anyway, my class did a vote on if/how long we thought the other pair and Hero and Claudio would last and people were not confident in them (Hero and Claudio, that was) lasting soooooo take that as you will