Nicotine - Blog Posts

I swear to god smoking helps me reduce the amount i Sh, something about these cheeky cancer sticks make me go 😋😋

My theory is that, if one of the mugiwaras die by the end of the story, it's going to be Sanji, of lung cancer.

Because omfg this dude breathes through a cigarette, he and smoker single handedly make the nicotine market run on grand line.

-Once you’re gone you’re lost forever_

             ꒰ఎ‿୨chapter★four‿ ໒꒱

It was clear that someone had lived here before, even though none of the light fixtures were on and it was all lit by natural lighting. Pictures were hung on the back wall shortly above the stairs leading to the second floor or as some would call, “the first floor” for whatever reason. You could clearly see three bodies posing for a photo along the bottom of the pictures, but where the heads were had been faded out by the sun. If it was a family photo, an ounce of those happy memories had been lost to time.

I coughed a bit due to the dust in the air. Seriously when was the last time the old man had cleaned this place?

Ignoring the kitchen and library attached to the living room I had just entered in, I went straight up stairs.  Man and medicine. Man and medicine. The alliteration chanted in my head, my determination causing it to take root brain, continuing to annoy me. But who knows, I had a serious money making opportunity if I turned this into a song for…. I don’t really know who actually.

The steps creaked as I walked up them, as if they were screaming in pain, though I didn’t care at all. I know, call me a madman. Hurting stairs.

When I reached the second floor I shook my head from side to side, my left hand against the wall. What was going on with me? My thoughts usually weren’t like this. And I felt so sleepy too… I shook my head again. No, this wasn’t the time. MEDICINE MEDICINE MEDICINE. The thoughts ravaged my head as I took my hand off the wall and continued walking, passing the window I had looked up at earlier before.

To the right of the window, there was only one door, revealing the old man’s location. After all I hadn’t heard any movement downstairs, and while I was outside I didn’t see him pass by the window again. I couldn’t help but smile with the knowledge that I had found him. 

This was it, time for my medicine. I thought, gripping the door handle before I turned it and pushed the door forwards, allowing me entry to the room.

When I stepped through the doorway, my eyes instantly darted around for the old man. This room happened to be another study, but it was littered with papers and not a trace of the old man. 

I stepped through the doorway and picked up one of the papers on the floor, bringing it close to my face to read it. As the sun continued to stream through the only windows in the room that was to the left of the doorway, I studied the printer ink on the paper, detailing about some sort of… medical tests?

I wasn’t a doctor or anything, but I ended up picking up paper after paper after paper that was scattered on the floor, eventually scraping together that it was about… my medicine. After all, what was small, red, and… filled with nicotine and Fentanyl?

As I held the rough piece of parchment, I nervously shuffled my feet around on the wooden floorboards. Ever since I started taking those small red pills the old man had gave me, I have noticed that I have excess amount of energy, which usually leads to me fidgeting around with my body like my life depends on it.

Though before I could put the paper down in a place nearby, my left foot got caught in a crevice on the floor, distributing my wait unevenly and causing me to fall backwards with a yelp. Seriously what was the deal with me and tripping today?

The wood hit my back and knocked the wind out of me faster than it hit my head and caused pain to sear through it. Feeling hopeless about finding the old man, I let myself lay there, my head rolling back as I let go of my control over my muscles. As I inhaled and exhaled the stuffy air, I let my eyes wander around, wondering what had happened to the old man.

But thats when I saw it.

My eyes eventually looked into the glass of the window behind me, noticing how the sun had definitely moved a few inches down since the last time I looked at it. My parents were surely awake by now and I… I DIDN’T HAVE MY MEDICINE!

I sat up suddenly, stumbling to my feet. Instantly I started grabbing every single page off the ground, studying them for hopefully a location, or even a clue to where he may be. My eyes rapidly ran over every page as I picked it up or put it down, seeing only the same contents as I had on every other page. Medical tests, medical tests medical tests medical tests medical tests medical tests!

At this point I didn’t care if I got paper cuts anymore, as papers were in the air all around me, making me feel trapped. At this point it felt as if I had paced circles around the room, doomed to befall the same insanity again.

Not here not here not here not here not here not here not here not here!

My parents were surely looking for me now, and that didn’t help my racing heart at all. In fact, by now my throat was tightening up, and somehow I was filled with even more energy, making me feel like I was a caveman who had just ate a mountain of sugar.

Eventually I tossed another sheet of paper down with an angry scoff. Dang it! Anger flared up inside of me alongside the fear that was already there. I stomped my foot before I left the room and headed down the stairs with the energy in my legs bursting to get out. 

When I hit the first floor my brain raced with ideas. I’d already increased my dose to be taking five at a time, surely six couldn’t be worse?

When I opened the door and my foot hit the grass, my mind was settled. I’ll start taking six at a time. I told myself, each step taking me farther and farther away from what I originally thought was the old man’s residence. After all, that was the best way to safely make the pills last longer, right?

my vape is about to run out and I can’t get a new one until the 7th

I mowed the lawn today. Also, I guess I'm quitting nicotine today. So that's nice. I'll let you all know how that's going. I'm going to try to sleep off the nicotine withdrawal for a while.

quitting vaping and smoking bc it makes u look old XD

places i vape:

in public bathrooms

in airport corners

under my desk at work

beneath my hoodie

on mountaintops

on backyard chairs;

in my sleep, in my waking, in my dreams. beneath the clouds and the shadows. on the horizon and the stars and my aching soul.

(addiction presents as poetry, just ask bukowski)