Sirius: “No I’m normal everyone thinks Remus is the hottest person alive”
Remus: excuses himself from a party after 10 minutes bc he wants to go knit. Wearing the most heinous jumper even your grandfather would shy away from. Blacks out after one (1) beer. Dies if someone makes eye contact with him. Sits awkwardly in the corner trying not to cry when he has to stay in a party for too long (fails every time). Bones pop 87 times every time he stands up. Cannot sit on the floor or he will need to be picked up bc his back is so bad. Asks Sirius + James + Peter to kiss his booboos bc his mummy used to do it and it made it feel better. Always has at least 3 books on him but needs Sirius to carry them bc he’s too weak. Hates smoking bc he’s worried about cancer. Very awkward. Loser.