Are there bears in Ohio?
I can taste sleep
What is up with you and big shits?!
She’s not a chameleon!
You think I’m god?! I’m Santa Claus!
My brain is a tofu scramble. I will turn myself into a meatball sub.
Play like a bag of tor-tillas. And yes, I said tor-tilla. Make it crunchy and salty
Band Director: Remember to fill your instrument with air. … Wait who’s Phil? *takes a breath to start playing* Mello Section Leader: My pastor
Band Director: *Plays and laughs at the same time and ends up choking*
Accidentals are sexy
One day I peed on my dad
That’s a sexy house
Be a crunchy carrot! NOT a soggy cheerio!!
The air is constipated
And I’m taking my pants off … AHH!
All I heard was hot and stripping and I’m very concerned
Stop throwing dead birds at people!
I wonder how long it would take to charge a tomato
The sun beats women!
I’m going to skin your mother !