Pain And Suffering - Blog Posts
CW : VENT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MLM BUT I NEED TO GET OUT
CW for disabilities and self-harm
I became sick over memorial day weekend (for those who don't know, we have the memorial day off.). Now all of my disabilities are flaring again, and i just got out of a huge flare not even a month ago.
I'm convinced this is because i don't wear a mask anymore. and before you blame me for my own issues, I don't wear one because my family doesn't anymore. I don't like to wear them in the house and due to breathing issues, i cannot wear them for a long time anyways. If i'm gonna get sick being at home or out in public, what's the point? OFC i would wear one if you asked me and would always warn you if i was sick because disabled ppl and able-bodied ppl with preferences matter.. always.
Anyways, I'm just in so much pain. I want to cry and scream and rip out my hair. I want to throw things across the room but all of that would get me recorded and prolly sent back to the psychiatric hospital.
i can't breathe without wheezing and coughing, my knees click when i walk and i keep going into pre-syncope. My fingers ache and i lost my hand brace for my wrist when it locks up. My hips hurt and even sitting criss-cross no longer helps. my back hurts and i can't crack it and i have a major headache.
I had to come home from school today, i begged my parents until they gave in. I'm scared. I'm sad. I'm depressed. I feel as if it'd be better if i just .. wasn't here. That way nobody would have to suffer. anymore. idk
I'm just so.. tired, man. Nothing is going my way, it never has. I'm so so tired, i feel so numb. I don't want to be here anymore.
the first eurovision semifinals start in an hour and i cant even watch until after school... im so broken
it’s especially stressful if said linux install is nixos, an operating system *specifically designed to not break easily*. it turns out far enough in the process of building a nixos configuration rollbacks stop working entirely.
Girl who does not have enough things to stress over every day: what if I broke my Linux install
ooh God, good Lord
the pain then, the seasons of lamentations, that seemed to never have an end. the tragic distances of people from me. Was it all to mean that You alone was worthy of my trust ?
ooh God, good Lord
it was it was it was .
Now,with this modest relief and fleeting felicity ooh God it was you that deserved my trust all along.
why is it actually impossible to get decent teams when playing during the day?? like my entire team seems to not know how to play while the entire enemy team is tryhard pros. my other support is NOT healing and i'm getting dived nonstop while the DPS and tank keep running off by themselves. can someone explain the science behind this
edit: yes one could argue this is just what overwatch is like but in my experience the game becomes a billion times more playable and enjoyable past midnight
MIZU5 SPOILERS!!!!
I drew these quick sketches based on some of the lyrics of the Mind Brand
I'm sorry about the corrector o(T□T)o