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Flower Curse | 4

[levi x male!reader x erwin] this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease. summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

t h r e e ___

Your health wasn't an excuse to not doing your job. Erwin wanted you to rest until there was a solution— but you weren't going to obey him. You didn't want to slack off and be the center of attention, you just wanted to stay off radar by everyone. Especially, by your illness' cause:

Levi.

Just thinking of him made you sick and warm— yes, you liked him a lot, loved him, even. But the other part of you made you repulsed of him. You thought the cause of that repulsion was the curse you had, but sometimes, you just wanted to stop loving him. Just to stop the suffering.

But that was impossible, wasn't it? You just can't change your feeling for someone in an instant. The only thing you could do was hide your feelings in the darkest place, with your flowers' company. Hide them from prying eyes, away from everyone. Just your emotions, the flowers and you.

Was this illness really going to kill you? After all you have been through? You didn't want to believe this at all— flowers were more deadly than a stupid titan! Unbelievable. How could it be? Flowers filling your lungs just for unrequited love? You had a hard time believing this ridiculous "curse". But, sadly, this was as real as the titans.

But then... how come nobody knew about this illness? Was this another thing the King hide? How could this be real?

A knock on the door snapped out of your thoughts. “Come in.” You said, rubbing your temple in exasperation.

A blonde picked shyly, then came in and saluted. “Squad Leader [Name], the Corporal is asking for your presence on today's training.”

“Fuck.” You instantly thought. You didn't remember today's task: help Levi with training. Was your luck better than yesterday? Or life was just laughing at you? You passed your hand on your hair, letting out a sigh. “Thanks, Arlert. We should be going or the grumpy old man is going to beat my ass.”

Armin didn't laugh at your comment— the blonde just nodded and smiled. The relationship with the cadets and you weren't that bad in your opinion. You enjoyed talking with the little kid about the outside world— something that was very forbidden to do. Arlert even had a book of the outside that shared with you, by your big surprise.

The kid was very clever; maybe as clever as Erwin. Something unnerving— could this young kid see the same thing Erwin couldn't not see? Could he see your sickness? You noticed your face paled this morning. You wished to whoever to put a blindfold to everyone around you.

Leaving your office with Armin at your side, you jokingly asked, “How is training today? Is the Corporal harsher than before?”

“The Corporal is being a little... harsh, yes. But I don't see much difference as in other training,” he placed finger on his chin, looking thoughtful, “But he seemed a little irritated that you weren’t there.”

“Of course he is going to be like that. I forgot I had to help him training.” You nervously stated. “What's today's training for?”

“We are training with our Vertical Maneuvering Equipment.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” What was worse? Close combat or the damn VME? Both options sounded horrible, but using your gear at your current state made you nervous. When your system wanted to throw the flowers this morning, it didn't gave you any warning like before. You just couldn't contain the urge of throwing it all out. Would the sudden force of the gear make you vomit?

You hoped Levi didn't want you to do use your gear today. You always showed your cadets how to use the gear properly, and when Levi wanted to explain something, you helped him showing the cadets your abilities. This wasn't looking good.

The blonde noticed your silent demeanor, thing that made him confused. “Is something wrong?”

Snapping out of your dark thoughts, you smiled as brightly as you could and looked at him, “There's nothing wrong! I just was thinking about how angry is Levi going to be, you've seen how he gets at the simplest things.”

The cadet looked at you, unsure, before nodding slowly.

You were sure Armin resembled Erwin for a second.

“About time you arrived, lazy shit.” You instantly heard the man of your dreams, —or maybe nightmares— when you arrived with Arlert at the training grounds.

Trying to playing it off, you said, “Hey! I'm not that late, just... thirty minutes late, not that bad.”

“Anyways, somehow you came just in time.” The raven stated before looking at Connie and Eren, the newest recruits. You didn't like what was he going to say, you knew it. “These two can't go faster with their gear, and it seems hearing what i'm saying is too hard for them,” he said irritably, looking at the two nervous cadets, then looked at you with his usual frown, “and I expect you to show it.”

Damn it, damn it, damn it! If you refused, he would ask questions, and the answers would not satisfy him at all— you barely got out of the previous situation thanks for Erwin being there, but now he wasn't. Be an adult and resolve your problems.

This wouldn't be that bad, right? You just had to do some harsh movement. You previous thoughts were you being ridiculous; nothing will happen. Everything will be alright, no need to worry. Everything will be okay. Stop overreacting, nothing will happen.

Armin noticed your discomfort, and before he could said something, Levi looked at him and harshly ordered, “You are still here, Arlert? Go back in training.” The blonde got taken aback looking at his scared face, and ran off with a "yes sir!".

Trying to sound normal and collected, you replied, “Sure thing, what do I need to do?”

“Alright, listen closely you two,” you said, looking at Springer and Jaeger, “For this to work you have to work with your whole body, something that I noticed you don't do in your training today.”

“But I moved more than before and I still can't do it! It's impossible to go faster than that!” Connie exclaimed frustrated, “I don't even know how Jean is going faster than me!”

“That horseface actually go faster than me too, that stupid horse...” Eren mumbled. You just let out a laugh, and tried to act serious— Levi was watching you three from afar. Looking specially at you, though,

“Don't say 'I can't do it' because you certainly can,” you looked at Connie, “Listen, Springer. The Corporal is the fastest of us, you know why?” the cadet shacked his head, taking interest, “It's because of his height. He is very short- just like you. I even can say that you could match his speed at some point.” You tried to raise his spirit, thing that succeeded, by the looks of his joyful face.

Now, looking at Eren, you said, “Jaeger, you have to work with your movement. Just think when you are in air as you... are dancing.” By the looks of his expression, he really didn't fully understand your statement, because his confused frown. “Now, now, don't give me that look. It sounds ridiculous, but it does the job. Just imagine the people dancing at the festivals— they are in sync. You have to be in sync with you gear, just like a dance.” To make them fully understand you had to show them, something you wanted to avoid but it seemed impossible.

“Alright, let me show you. You have to see closely, understand?” They nodded, looking excited. Gulping, you looked ahead into the forest. Ignoring the voice in your head stopping you to do this, you prepared yourself and nailed your hook at the nearest tree, and then, you flied.

At first, it didn't feel that uncomfortable. Your mission here was to not be that harsh with your movements, but showing the speed to the cadets was the point of this, so avoiding any movement seemed impossible.

“Now I have to turn...” You reluctantly thought. Your grip tightened and in the second your hooks nailed in the trees, at first you prepared for the worst, but when nothing came you relaxed and even smiled. Even taking a look on the two cadets made you relaxed; they were in awe and the corporal just looked pleased.

“See? Nothing to be wo-”

And then, you felt it.

Your thoughts got interrupted thanks to the familiar sensation on your throat. The feeling made you alerted and disorientated, making you lose your grip on the blades and unhooking them off the tree. The falling wasn't that flawless, looking at how high you were.

You fell on some bushes, making your fall at least not that bad. When you hit the ground you instantly threw up white flowers, ignoring any pain you felt at the moment.

Full little flowers. At first sight, they were beautiful, but not for you anymore.

You practically forced yourself to stop vomiting, and held any flowers from coming out. Knowing the others will come to see if you were alright, at least you had to bear with all the pain until you could get out of there. Trying your best to cover the petals with the bushes, you tried to stand but failed to do so.

“Squad Leader [Name]! Are you alright?!” you heard both Connie and Eren calling for you, and less than a minute they were with you, helping you to stand. Gulping all petals who wanted to come out, you tried your best to just smile.

“Phew! That was a nasty fall. Sorry you had to see that, and i'm the example here, haha...” dusting off your clothes made wince in pain, thing you tried to hide by just laughing. The pair of cadets just kept talking and trying to not worry you that much. They both eventually stopped talking when a certain corporal appeared, with an expression you know very well— he was trying to know what happened, read the situation.

“Cadets, both of you will look for Petra and tell her she's on training duty.” Hearing his orders, both of them saluted and left. He looked at your poor act of getting it together, and asked angrily, “What the hell happened?”

Come on, [Name]! Keep it together!

“My hooks didn't sunk in the tree, simple as that.” Scratching your head, you proceed, “Actually, maybe the hand-grip isn't that-”

“Stop talking shit.”

You gulped. “Uh? What are you talking about? I said my hooks—”

“Quit lying to me.” Levi approached you, taking your arm roughly, making you gasp in pain. Actually, your senses awoken again— now fully feeling the pain in your arm, leg and ribs. “You know I hate lies. More if they come out of your mouth.”

You didn't say a word at all. You didn't dare to make the situation worse.

“Can you walk?”

Leaving his grip on your arm, you tried to take a few steps; you could walk, but you were limping with your right leg. And every time you took a step, a sharp pain was felt in your knee. Levi sighed in irritation, and helped you walk by taking your arm on his shoulder and placing his hand on your waist.

“What a pathetic attempt.”

The closeness made you sick, and the flowers wanted to be released.

“We'll go to the infirmary, then.”

Your ribs didn't break, thankfully. You just had some colorful bruises covering your right leg, left arm and waist. It wasn't that bad, not as bad as the flowers, at least.

After getting parched up, you both went to Levi's office, just to do some "relaxing" paperwork you both had to do. You always went to his office to make him company, something he didn't mind. You had to play it safe— if you avoided him, he would ask questions, and when he asks he wants real answers. Things you couldn't give.

Somehow, your little talk made you forget about all of the feelings and thoughts you were having. There was just the two of you, like it always has been. You forget about the flowers, and they seemed to forget about you just for a moment.

“You have something on your hair.” you heard the raven say, seeing his hand coming closer to you, taking off a leave. “And there's something on your face, too. Disgusting...” Even when he said that, his fingers touched your cheek, cleaning it off, before cleaning his own fingers with a napkin.

The event made you slightly blush —at least you hoped—, and thank him.

“A-Anyways, did Petra said anything about Eren and Connie?” you asked, remembering the little talk both of them had an hour ago, when you were in the infirmary getting check on.

“They did better,” he replied, writing on his papers. “They wanted to know badly how you were, though.”

“Aw! They care about me!” you exclaimed with a big smile. Even if you wanted to play it off, the feeling of the kids caring about you warmed your heart. “How adorable!” The feeling just made you blush.

Your words made the Corporal look at you with a questioning gaze. “What? Do you think they are the only ones caring about you?” Levi asked, stopping his work. “How disappointing.”

Laughing, you talked, “What am I hearing? Does Levi care about me more than the cadets?”

“What if I do?”

Your grip on the pen tightened; your heartbeat went crazy; your blush covering your cheeks went deeper, covering your ears. Words seemed disappear of your vocabulary— you didn't understand how some words could steal your breath like that. But it was because it's him. The one you like the most. Time seemed to stop.

It seemed that the sight of you made him smirk in pleasure. He come closer to your face, looking directly at your eyes. “I asked something. What If I care more than them?”

[Name]! Remain your composure! “W-Well, uhm...” clearing your throat, you proceed, “Then you care about me. That's... all...”

“Why you always forget?”

“Forget? Forget what?”

“About how I can't stand your lies.”

“Lies?! Ahem! What do you want me to say? It's nice that you care about me.” You stopped thinking about what you were saying, so you just let whatever thing came out of your mouth. Uh-oh. Good or bad thing? “I care about you too, anyways.”

He arched his eye brown,“Is that so?”, he slightly smiled, by your surprise. “More than the cadets do, I assume?”

“Of course. We've know each other since you came here, right? Actually, I think I'm the first one who didn't fall for your scary face, along with Hange.”

“Ah, how could I forget how irritating you were,” closing his eyes, he proceed, “even when I knocked you out, you kept being a childish little shit, always returning.”

“Hey! But you love this little shit, don't you?” Laughing, you returned to your work, uncaring of the answer.

“I'm glad you stayed.”

You froze. Levi wasn't the time of saying this like this to you; there were always harsh words in a playful nature. But nothing like this before. Nevertheless, him saying that made a smile on your face.

“I'm glad too.”

After that, a pleasant silence fell. The only sound the both of you heard was the pens writing on your papers and the sound outside. You didn't notice the sky turning dark, until an ocasional glance to the window made you exclaimed, “It's dinner time!”

The Corporal looked at the dinner and let out a hum, you only proceed to stand up from your seat and stretch. “Let's go, Levi. We forgot to do tea, so let's hurry up!”

“Go first, I will join soon.” He replied.

“Alright, then. Will make tea when I get there.” Nodding your head, you didn't bothered to bring you papers with him; it was normal for you to leave them arranged on a part of his desk. He always said "take your shit with you", but you always laughed it off. Strange, because this time, he didn't say anything. You left, but your thoughts made you slow your walk.

You noticed Levi was being more... open to you. Could that be a sign? Maybe? And now that you remember it, flowers weren't trying to get out of your throat. You even forgot about the illness, about the pain, about your future... You felt... nice, warm. Just like before the curse.

Could it be that... you had a future with him? The sudden thought made you blush and smile in embarrassment. Was he, maybe, in love with you? The conversation repeated on your head - and your mind kept re rolling the exact same phrase.

“I'm glad you stayed.”

“What if I care more than them?”

You stopped walking, and come to the realization that you actually wanted to make a move. Nothing could go wrong! The conversation of today made you believe that something could happen between the two of you! A bright smile made through your face thinking this— there was hope after all!

There was not time to waste, then! Your mind was made up— you were confessing right now. No one could interrupt you now; everyone had to be getting dinner, so the two of you couldn't be bothered. You nodded to yourself, and went back to Levi's office.

You couldn't believe it - this was all like a dream to you. You actually were going to have a future! You were going to be cured; everything was going to be alright from now on.

Noticing his door slightly opened, you scolded yourself for not paying attention to close it properly before leaving. Hey! That's not important right now! Shaking your head, you couldn't wait to open it and tell Levi your true feelings. Oh! You couldn't wait to tell Erwin and Hange about—

...

.

.

.

.

.

Ah. How could you forget? So foolish.

The sight in front of you made you petrify.

What was that you were feeling...? Surprise? Fear? Or was it... Heartbreak? How could you point the exact time your heart shattered, and the flowers bloomed once more in your heart? The realization fell like a ton of bricks. You never meant to be loved by him, it was for her. It never was for a person like you. Not you. Never, ever, for you. How could you forget? How? You were in denial.

The sudden realization made you snap out from your illusion.

NEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOUNEVERFORYOU.

You are a fool.

You really thought he loved you?

What a pitiful sight.

Go and cry, there's no saving you.

Thoughts invaded your mind like a parasite — repeating themselves with not a chance to be stopped.

And what was the sight that made you so unstable? Well, maybe you know it already.

Two people were embracing each other, with the moonlight above them, looking beautiful as a couple. Who were this two, you ask?

Levi, and Petra, obviously.

The petals were awoken once more, and with such a bestial force you never felt before.

Covering your mouth with your hand, you couldn't stop some petals to escape and lay on the floor, by your ignorance. You just ran out of there, and went to the only place your unstable mind wanted you to be.

Erwin arranged his paperwork again for maybe, the sixth time this night. There were never ending letters to respond, check once more the strategies for the upcoming expedition, and more, more letters.

“Seems like a sleepless night, again.” He thought, rubbing his temples.

Little did he know his lack of sleep wouldn't be only the papers.

The sudden noise of someone opening his door made him annoyed— and before he could scold the responsible person, he stopped himself as he saw you kneeling on the floor, vomiting white petals— no, flowers.

Without thinking he went to your side and rubbed your back in a gently manner. He remained calm, but something his sight caught made him horrified.

White flowers were decorated in red.

Outside, he remained clam, but in the inside he was more than worried; if vomiting flowers was a bad sign, vomiting blood with them was far worse.

You eventually stopped; you only could gasp, trying to breath. Your nostrils were leaked water, your lips had blood and saliva, and the only comforting thing that made you sane was Erwin beside you.

“I'm going to die, Erwin,” you could only say, with desperation in your voice. “I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die...”

Erwin tried his best to hush you, “That's not true. We are going to fix this, there's a solution...” and he continued and continued, trying to calm your sobs and pleas. Hearing you like this, so broken, desperate, made something inside him ache. He only embraced you, holding you. You only wanted someone close to you, someone to hold you.

He had to move things fast, and find a way to fix you before it was too late.

“Let's go, then!” a certain blushing girl said, smiling brightly. The raven only nodded with a soft gaze, walking beside her, until something on the floor took his attention.

“Flowers?” Levi thought, looking at the white petals on the floor. Kneeling, he took some and look at them quietly. Beautiful at first sight, hiding the true meaning they had.

“Aren't you coming, Corporal?” Petra said, turned at him.

Levi hummed, covering the little flower on his front pocket, and returned walking, “[Name] is waiting.”

Cyclamen. Cyclamens are symbolic of resignation. It’s the flower that means goodbye too.

Because it is poisonous, death is also attached to its meaning. It also presents the fact that good things come to an end and so it’s also the type of flower you might want to make use of at funerals – because it speaks of departure aside from moving away and retiring.

f i v e

Flower Curse | 3

[levi x male!reader x erwin]

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

t w o

After that horrible and bizarre moment, you were sitting across the room with Moblit, Erwin was sitting in front of Hange as she was behind of her desk sitting as well, looking at the blonde with seriousness. Moblit gave you water and helped you take off your jacket, because you were suddenly feeling exhausted at the sudden force of throwing up. Currently Erwin and Hange were talking about your current situation, but you really didn't pay any attention about it– you were too tired to listen.

Feeling the jacket off you made you sigh in relief; you wanted to strip right there. You felt like your clothes were suddenly suffocating you– Was the uniform that tight before? You weren't sure anymore. And as if Moblit could read your thoughts, while placing your jacket on a small desk, he said, “Maybe it would be a good idea to take off the harness as well. What do you think?”

“Yes, Moblit. Please,” you said –or rather begged– sounding pleading, only to make Moblit smile in an apologetic way and helped you. You sat down as Moblit take off your boots and stood up again so he could help you with the harness. You placed your hands on his shoulders, suddenly feeling dizzy so you didn't want to fall. He was turned back of your actions, but understood the cause of it when he saw your troubled face.

“Take it easy, you stood up to quickly. Just don't move and hold onto me, alright?” you nodded and tried to calm you down, hands still on Moblit’s shoulders. He began to take off the harness as gently as he could, suddenly feeling a strong gaze on him that made him... uncomfortable. And before he could turn his head, you spoke.

“Man, I feel like shit,” sighing and closing your eyes you tried to relax. “And this happened just a week before the expedition... I’m so lucky.”

“You have always been quite lucky, [Name]. Just like that one time with the abnormal or the other time with the black horse,” he slightly laughed hearing you sigh in irritation, remembering your near-death experiences, “these two situations could have been your death, but somehow you came out alive. That's why we call you the «The Luckiest Soldier of Humanity»”

“Well, yeah. But whoever came up with that nickname is an idiot. It sounds so ridiculous,” you sighed, “I hate the «of Humanity» bullshit, so absurd.”

“And I'm even luckier to get this unknown disease– if it's a disease.” You thought.

Finishing taking off the harness, Moblit placed it on the same desk and turned to you, “Whatever it is, I'm sure you will survive it. Just like you say, you are lucky most of the time.”

You only grunted, making the brunette softly laugh. “But I don't know if I will be lucky this time.” You thought.

You approached where Erwin was and sat next to him, trying to understand what they were talking about, but soon Hange looked at you and smiled.

“[Name]! I see you have a better face now! But stripping in front of people is quite reveling, you know!” she joked, grinning and furrowed her eyebrows, looking like a complete idiot.

Snorting, you replied, “Believe me, Hange. I want to take off all my clothes right now, but my decency is keeping me in rule.”

“Squad Leader Hange, I'm going to clean the... flowers?” Moblit said unsure, “I'm going to get the mop, I’ll be right back.” And before he could leave, Erwin called him.

“Berner,” they both looked at each other, “No word from this to anyone, understood?” the blonde said with an authority voice– usually his normal tone when he ordered something serious.

Moblit’s expression turned serious and replied, “Understood, commander,” and left.

“Alright, now,” you began, “What the hell I have?”

Hange’s expression turned serious and deep in thought, holding her jaw with her fingers. “I'm not really sure,” she hummed, “I've never seen this before... This happened today, right?”

At the question you shifted uncomfortably on your seat, making Erwin furrow his eyebrows with a questioning manner, “Did this happen before?” he asked, sounding... somehow irritated.

“Uhm... yes...?” you answered, sounding like a child getting caught on something they shouldn't have. Before anyone could say anything you bet them to it, “To my defense, I didn't throw up like this. I just coughed a petal three days ago. I thought I breathed it by accident, but it seems that isn't the case... hehe…”

That didn't calm down Erwin, judging by his irritation showing off. Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, he said, “If I didn't find you at that exact moment, would you have told me?” he asked, referring at the incident on your office not too long ago.

Gulping, you decided to not lie to him– either if saying yes or no it wouldn't satisfy him, anyway. You just shocked your head, ashamed to look at him. Hearing him sighing in disappoint made you feel bad– he was your friend, your comrade. You were a horrible friend, making him feel like this.

“Throwing up flowers... flowers...” Hange said, trying to remember something about the problem at hand, ignoring your little conversation. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers, making the two of you turn at her, watching expectantly, forgetting about the awkward conversation.

She quickly stood up and approached her bookshelf. Looking at it, murmuring something inaudible she paced her fingers on the books, trying to find the one she was looking for. “What was the name of the book? Hanake?” she thought, moving her eyes at one book to another, until she found the one she was looking for, “Hanahaki Curse!” she yelled, taking the book on her hands and returning to her seat.

“Nahaka what?” you asked confused, looking as lost as Erwin.

“Hanahaki Curse. This book,” she holds the book so you both could see the front of it– just small letters were on it– the exact same title Hange said before. “Talks about the same thing you may have.”

Erwin looked somehow relieved, “So this is a medical book?”

At the question, Hange laughed nervously, making both of you farrow your eyebrows at her, suspiciously. “Well, it's a... children book.”

Blinking with no emotion in particular, you said, “A children book,” she nods, “A fairy tale. Something fictional,” you sighed, brushing your hand in your hair, “Oh man...”

Like always, Erwin tried to stay collected about the situation, placing a hand on your shoulder trying to calm you down, he looked at Hange and asked, “I believe you remember it because it's useful, right, Hange?”

She just nodded eagerly and explained, “This book talks about the same thing you have, [Name]. And I believe it can explain why you have it.” Now that made you interested.

“Okay, tell me why then.”

“The book begins about two kids, Darla and Barry. The little girl has affections for the boy, but Barry has no interest in her. They remain friends until their teenage years, with Darla still liking Barry–”

“Hange this is absurd. What the hell are you saying?” you interrupted her, looking irritated. Were you really stay here and hear this nonsense? Absolutely not. “This is something serious; I won’t read a book for children!”

“Now, [Name]. I believe Hange has an answer about what's happening to you, so be quiet and listen to her.”

Grunting irritability, you just sighed and nodded, and Hange returned to telling the story.

“Like I was saying…

Darla never felt different about Barry. But never told him how she felt, because she knew he didn't like her that way. Until one day, Darla saw Barry with another girl, sharing kisses and hugs. That sight made her heartbroken– crying, Darla went to her house, ran to her room and cried on the floor. Suddenly, she felt a strange sensation on her throat. First, it felt ticklish, making her softly cough. She thought nothing of it– but the sensation didn't go away. She began to cough harshly, feeling something on her throat– until the last cough she could sense whatever it was inside get out of her.

The unlucky girl spotted a white petal lying on the floor– but before she could think anything of it, the feeling of throwing up appeared.

She threw up flowers all over the floor. And not just white colored flowers; pink and yellow were mixed like a bucket. The unlucky girl only cried more, terrified for what she was feeling and seeing.

“What is all of this!? I–I'm scared!” she shouted, sobbing uncontrollably. All of the noises made her mother open the door of her room, stopping and watching the scene in front of her with a shocking face.

“Oh no... Darla, my dear Darla... not you...” Darla’s mother sadly murmured, approaching her daughter and kneeling beside her. Hugging her, the mother holds Darla’s head on her chest, lovingly.

The two of them just sit on the floor, surrounded by flowers. Both of them crying and only the mother’s reassurance words were heard. Time passed, now mother and daughter were sitting on the daughter’s bed.

“Mother, do you know what I have? Why do I throw up flowers? What is this?” the unlucky girl asked.

Her mother let out a sigh, “My Darla... I’ve something to explain. The thing you have- is called ‘Hanahaki Curse’,” seeing her daughter’s confusing face, she explained. “This... curse makes you throw up flowers. And the cause of that is because of something so silly.

When you love someone, and they don’t love you back you have a very small possibility to... be cursed. The curse it’s so rare to have; but you- you have it now. But hear me- no matter what, I’m by your side, my daughter.”

And with that, little Darla suffered by the flower curse. The unlucky girl never stopped throwing up flowers of different colors.

Darla never met Barry again after knowing the cause of the curse. She didn’t want to see the cause of it; she suffered enough on her own.

The unlucky girl lied on her bed staring at nothing in particular with her mother at her side. The girl’s lungs filled with flowers, making her unable to breathe.

Darla disappeared from the world with her mother at her side, just like she promised.”

Nobody dared to say a word after that. The silence in the room was so tense; the three of you could feel that very clearly. You were shocked, clearly. You only thought was if you were going to have the same fate as little Darla.

“Well that’s… very dark for a children book, uh?” you said, trying to get less anxious.

The blonde’s hand reached your shoulder in a comforting manner. You turned to see his usual neutral expression, but judging by his shoulders he was just as tensed by the current situation as you.

“Hange, does the book have an author? Something we can use to reach the person who wrote this?” Erwin asked.

Hearing the questions, the woman began to search for a name in the cover, the back... but there was no name. You now where in a high stress level at the situation, but she opened the book again, going at the very last page of it, and there was two words elegantly written on the center;

“Barry Ziegler”

She sighed in relief and looked at the two of you with one of her usual smiles, “We have a name! It’s better than nothing. We can look for him or at least, find someone with the same last name.”

“Yes, we could do that. But we don’t even know how old this book is. For all we know, this guy is dead or the name he gave is fake. This doesn’t give me much hope.” You stated, looking annoyed.

“We can’t think like that,” the blonde instantly said, “I’m going to find information of any ‘Barry Ziegler’ inside the walls. This shouldn’t be hard to do- after all, these walls aren’t that big.”

You just shrugged and nodded, feeling a little better than before. Somehow, Erwin’s words always made you comforted. The guy was commander after all; he had his way with words.

The three of you chatted a little of what to do next. Moblit came and cleaned the mess, then leaving when Hange told him to look for some records about the ’curse’, if there were any. After some minutes the chatter turned out more pleasant, talking about the cadets and the jokes you heard from them sometimes. Erwin left first, saying he had important things to do, but you stayed with Hange a little longer.

“It’s Levi, right?” she said with a serious tone, unusual for her.

You just nodded, looking ashamed. Hange took your hands, squeezing them reassuringly.

One tear came, and then another and another, now crying in silence in your friend’s presence.

You somehow knew this wasn’t going to get better.

But you hoped you were wrong.

f o u r

Flower Curse | 2

[levixmale!readerxerwin]

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

o n e

The second time was a close call. You were with Erwin and Mike in the mess hall, talking about the next expedition. Somehow, Levi wasn't with you and was with his squad, possibly talking about the same topic as you three were. He wasn't that far to you so you could easily look at him and obviously, Petra sitting next to him with her sweet smile, looking at him with that idiotic face you hate.

You liked Petra— you truly did. But seeing her so close to him –knowing her true feelings– and he just keeping quiet about it... made you feel heartbroken and angry. You once did believe he could have seen you like a partner when you first met him, but it seemed that couldn't be. You thought you could have get close to him— did all of your attempts were for nothing? It seemed so. He didn't even looked at you; you were nobody.

You didn't mean to stare for too long, so Erwin tried to get your attention when he noticed you weren't answering him.

“[Name], I asked what your thoughts were. Are you listening?”

You quickly began to blink and looked at him a little confused. “I'm sorry, Erwin. Didn't really hear you, what did you say?”

Erwin gave you a questioning look and followed where your gaze was a moment ago– just as he noticed who you were looking at, his expression softened, returning facing you.

“So that's what's been keeping you distracted all day. I guess I expected it.”

“It's nothing I can't handle, I'm going to get over it anyways.” you shrugged and took a bite on the horrible bread, the taste making your face change in disgust.

Mike noticed your affections to the corporal right away. Somehow, your smell changed when you were with him or were watching him; it was confusing at first, but he understood it right away. But now, you smell different... and he couldn't recall the aroma. Was it... some flower? No— your scent was from old books and ashes. Flowers wasn't on it, but he's not so sure now.

“Well, “getting over it” it's not easy, [Name]. I'm surprised he hasn't noticed, he usually does.” Erwin says looking at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Whatever,” you tried to change the topic because of all the cadets on the mess hall. It didn't matter if all the chatter from everyone was loud so you couldn't care about someone hearing your conversation, but there was always someone eavesdropping. Or maybe you didn't want to feel the pain in your chest when you talked about this? “The expedition, you were talking about—” taking a last glance at Levi's table was a big mistake. What you saw made you feel your chest tightened; Levi and Petra hands were touching under the table, and you knew nobody but you noticed it. You suddenly felt sick.

You coughing so harshly made your commander worried, while he was gently patting your back to help you, Mike gave you water from his cup, but stopped when he smelled the same sent he was thinking before— something soft... a flower he knows... but which one? Maybe daisies? No—

You felt something very wrong with you. Feeling like throwing up made you cover your mouth with your hand, you got up from the seat ignoring Erwin's worried questions and waking up Mike from his daze. You ran out of the mess hall as fast as you could, missing the confused and some worried looks some of the cadets gave you, including Levi's. You didn't care at all, you wanted to get the hell out of there.

Instead of going to the bathroom you went to your office. You didn't know how, but you knew what was happening, with hurry you opened the door and closed it as you could, then uncovering your mouth and finally throwing up... yellow flowers?

“What— What is this?!” you thought, horrified. You were scared— who couldn't be? This wasn't something you have seen at all. “What's happening to me?!”

Stopping throwing up flowers, your eyes were red from the crying and force, your throat was dry and you were patting for air. Kneeled on the floor, you just could see in distress the yellow flowers in front of you. You couldn't think anything; this was bizarre. Feeling exhausted from the sudden force, you couldn't do anything but examinate the flowers lying on the floor. Were they– roses? No-- you don't even know the stupid flowers' name.  Your attention was at one flower in particular; it looked like a complete flower. Did all of this was... inside your stomach?

The sight was horrifying.

Before you could gather your thoughts, someone opened the door along with a deep voice you knew. It was Erwin's.

“[Name]? Are you alr—”

Then, before he could finish, he stopped suddenly, processing what was in front of him. You didn't move at all or tried to explain what happened to you. You didn't even understand– everything was terrifying, just as the first time you saw a Titan. But the difference was that at this moment, flowers were your enemy and not some giant. Not this time, unfortunately.

Erwin walked and kneeled at your side, trying to reassure you with posing his hand on your shoulder and the other on your arm with gentleness. “How are you feeling? And why are flowers all on the floor? Mike and I were worried, you weren't in the bathroom as we thought.”

You were going to be honest with him. What was the point on lying if he could see trought you? You were done being a liar to him, and also, you were so scared. You could feel your hands shaking because of your emotions and the sudden force of throwing up.

With a trembling voice, you talked, “Erwin... I– I threw up the flowers.”

He just confusingly looked at you, with a raised eyebrow. He was looking at you saying “do you think I'm this dumb?” But the look on your eyes gave everything away; he knew you were telling the truth. Seeing you so scared and vulnerable made him worried– this wasn't your usual self. You weren't like this at all, looking at your eyes he tried to find the lies he was used to, but only saw fear. Accepting you were telling the truth, Erwin was as confused as you were— in fact, he never heard something like this before.

“You threw up... flowers...” he said to himself as if processing the information you gave him. He was thinking what could this be-- but wasn't certain. He never saw a disease like this– was it even possible? Well, it looked like you were a living proof of it.

He helped you stand, you felt horribly weak so hanging on him looked like the right choice. Erwin looked deep in thought, his frown giving it away. You didn't say anything; you just rested on his chest and tried to calm yourself, closing your eyes in exhaustion.

“We need to go with Hange, this isn't good [Name],” He said looking at you, with a demanding stare. You knew he was worried about you— so you just nodded. You didn't feel like talking anyway. “I will order a recruit to clean this, so don't think about doing it.” no looking for an answer you two left your office, heading to Hange's office.

The walk was slow— you felt dizzy from walking normally, so Erwin decided to walk at your slow rhythm. You felt weak— you didn't like what was happening at all, but complaining about it wasn't going to help anything. You needed to understand how was this possible, and why was happening to you.

But it looked like life was against you today; suddenly you saw Levi standing in front of you, watching the two of you with his usual glare of him, arms crossed.

“Oi. What happened to you? You look like shit.” the Corporal said, walking were Erwin and you were. The hall was practically deserted, lunch wasn't over so the three of you were the only souls around.

You felt nausea all over again.

“Thanks Levi. I know I can always count on your sweet comments.” you tried to joke, but somehow your bitter voice made it through. In fact, you were feeling like shit and wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. You didn't even want to see him, not like this.

“I asked something,” he glared at you and then looked at Erwin, “What happened to this idiot?”

Your grip on Erwin tightened, giving a message you knew he understand. You didn't want to worry anyone— you didn't want to worry him. For now, this was between Erwin, you and soon, Hange.

He understood your message right away and answered, “[Name] threw up. We are saying he got food poisoned— so we are going to the infirmary to check him.”

Levi frowned and hummed. “The bread tasted shittier today, it must be it,” Looking at you he said, “I will go with him. You can return to your work, eyebrows.”

Erwin and you were suddenly uncomfortable, especially you. You didn't want to go with him-- just to see him made you feel sick all over again. But, if it was your luck or bad luck striking again, before any of you could say anything you three heard a female voice coming nearby. Again, the nausea returned with so much force– you could even feel the flowers raising, but you shut your mouth as tight as you could.

“Corporal! I was looking for you! The tea is— Oh! [Name], are you alright?!” Petra stood next to Levi and stopped to look at you with concern. “You look pale!” she tried to get near you, but you stopped her raising your hand, making her confused.

Erwin felt your grip tightened more than before, and he knew the reason why. He needed to leave with you fast, and before anybody could say anything Erwin talked.

“[Name] needs to see the nurse. Levi, I remember ordering you to train the recruits after lunch. Don't worry about [Name], he will be alright.”

And with that you two practically ran not waiting for an answer; leaving Petra dumbfounded and Levi with a questioning glance. You tried to not throw up and hold it as long as you could, this wasn't good– you prayed to get to Hange’s office already, and Erwin was practically carrying you bridal style. Some cadets and squad leaders were on the hall, and you couldn't evade the questioning glances at you at all. It looked like you were going to be the topic for today, unfortunately. It wasn't every day you see the commander carrying someone like this– or even better, never.

Erwin practically bursted trough the door, surprising and scaring the hell out of Hange and Moblit who were inside the office. Before they could ask anything, Erwin closed the door with his back and you couldn't hold the flowers anymore, so you just threw up all of the yellow flowers that were inside your lungs. You were kneeling on the floor, with Erwin patting your back and Hange and Moblit looking at you surprised and horrified. Nobody dared to say anything; so Erwin was the first to break the silence.

“This is the situation we are in, Hange. We need your help.” he looked at Hange with a serious expression, still trying to comfort you as you still were throwing up.

x x x

Mike returned to the mess hall, sitting with his squad. Nanaba looked at him with a worried expression and asked, "Is [Name] alright? He looked very pale." It wasn't any secret that Mike's squad liked you; you liked hanging with them a lot of your free time. In fact, you liked to talk with a lot of squads, earning their trust and friendship.

Hearing her, Gelgar turned his attention to the two, a bit worried himself about the sudden action he saw earlier. "Yeah. [Name] looked just like me when I'm drunk as fuck," He tried to joke a little, just to earn a not-too-hard glare from Nanaba. "What? He could have drink a little yesterday! Don't give me that look."

"I believe Squad Leader [Name] wasn't drunk. He wasn't drinking any last night, and if I'm correct he doesn't drink."

Mike hummed, deep in thought. The two members of his squad only gave him a confused look he ignored. Nanaba and Gelgar knew this look on him- it was when he tried to know a certain smell. They decided to not to interrupt him when he was like this, so the two of them returned to their chat.

Suddenly, after some minutes, Mike blinked and smirked, only letting out a word: "Carnations."

Nanaba and Gelgar looked at him, stopping their chat a little, returning to it a little after.

t h r e e

Flower Curse | 1. White Petal

[levixmale!readerxerwin]

english isn’t my first language, so sorry for the grammatical errors!

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

1

Love hurt. Even more with the disease you had; some people could say it was ’poetic’ and so ’romantic’. You could have thought that one day a long time ago; just because this curse was so rare to have or yet so slim. You had yet to find someone who had this in real life and not in some fairy tales in child books or romantic novels for adults.

x x x It all began when you were alone in your office, working on some stressful paperwork Hanji handed you to finish for today. You were so deep in your work that the knock on your door wasn't heard at all. It was at the third attempt that you heard a female voice you knew to well. “Who and why?“ you irritably asked, one hand on your temple and another holding a paper not yet finished. “Petra Ral, bringing more paperwork, sir” she answered opening the door as you told her to come in. Sending you a gentle smile, she gave you the papers and spoke with some playfulness in her sweet voice, “It seems everybody is really busy today! Your voice scared me more than the Corporal, [Name]!“ You only closed your eyes and slightly laughed, sitting more comfortably on your seat. Looking at her, you tiring smiled, “Sorry, Petra. Somehow today we have a lot of paperwork, and you know paperwork is boring as hell,” you both laughed, “How is the Corporal? Is he handling this better than me?” You knew she tried to hide her blushing when speaking about her Corporal, but you were to observant to not notice it. You always are observing every little detail about everyone, even her with no exceptions. You knew she and you had feelings for the same person but unlike her, nobody knew about your feelings about the Corporal. Well, just Erwin knew; the man was like a hawk. He knows everything and sees everything; just like Mike magical nose. These two were weirdos, but great friends nevertheless. “He’s been stressed, but making him some tea relax him,” Petra gets near to you and covers her mouth, as like telling a secret she only knew about, “I think I'm making better tea lately! He’s been complimenting me a lot!” this time the blush on her cheeks was stronger and smiles at you with a dreaming smile you always saw on other cadets when talking about their lovers, just like that Jean kid in lunch looking at Mikasa with a cheesy look. You knew loving the corporal was a bad idea. Levi wasn't that talkative about liking someone in that way, hell, you don't even know if he loved someone in that way. Yes, you both were great friends, the two of you liked to drink tea together and talk about the present and future, about the new recruits and their skills, joking together or just stay in a comfortable silence. You treasured his friendship, so ruining it by confessing was an absolute and horrible mistake you weren't going to make. He didn't loved you that way and you were okay with that. Until Petra came and everything began to hurt. You wished being observant wasn't one of your skills. You wished you didn't notice the glances they gave each other when they were alone or someone wasn't looking. You wished you didn't see the sparkles on both of their eyes. You wished deep in your heart, to not notice how Petra ’accidentally’ brushed her hand on his and he didn't say a word. You wished, you really did. Lies was one of your strong skills too. If talking to the Corporal and not showing any affection or jealously when glancing at their actions wasn't like wearing a mask everyday a skill you didn't know what was. Nobody break trough your thick mask, unlike Erwin. The fucker very well knew about all of your façade, how could he not? You two were close and just to see into your eyes he knew everything. “Is that so, Petra? It seems like you being his wife isn't that far far away...” you grinned, making a cheesy face at her. Only to get her blushing like a tomato, covering her face with both hands. “Don't say that THAT loud! Someone can hear you!” “As if no one knows, little Petra. Why don't you both go in a date already? At this rate someone is going to make better tea than you... I'm just saying...” you teased her with a playful smile. Petra was your friend, you couldn't feel bad things for her. She was really sweet and pretty. She was like a sister to you, and you were a brother to her. You didn't intended the relationship being like that but it just happened. “You think so?! But— what if he doesn't like me back?” “Petra, my dear, I'm sure he likes you back.” you reassured her. “You really think I don't see how he looks at you? You know how he feels. I know.” you thought, feeling a sharp pain in your chest that you ignored and faked a smile. “Maybe I will tell him soon... Thank you, [Name]. Also, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't make good tea! Thank you again for the tips. Levi really likes it.” “You're welcome, Petra. Good luck on telling him, I'm sure he feels the same way.” Saying farewells both of you returned to your work. When she left, your expression changed completely with a grimmer one. You didn't smile; just stared at nothing in particular. You were thinking on how they would look together, how they would hug and say each other “I love you”. The thought repulsed and hurt you; sickening you. A pain in your chest made you snap out of it, making you to cough harshly. You felt as if something wanted to get out of your throat; but it didn't feel like vomit at all. It stopped when you coughed a white petal, something that confused you completely. Did you breathe in petals by accident? That was unlikely, there weren't any flowers nearby. But then, how did this petal got in? Something felt very wrong to you. You just stared at the petal dumbfounded, not really knowing what to think of it. You just placed it next to your paper, already forgetting about it.

t w o

DOWN UNDER— A Robert Irwin Fanfiction

Summary: You came to Australia Zoo for a fresh start—art, koalas, and maybe a little courage. You didn’t plan on breaking down behind the exhibit on day one. And you definitely didn’t plan on Robert Irwin finding you there. A soft slow-burn about healing, overstimulation, and the boy who sees you anyway.

Cover: @meximex090

PART ONE── ⟡ ˙🌱 ̟

You had promised your therapist you'd take it easy. And really, you tried. But after the last school year took EVERYTHING out of you, and you had to take a break, you decided you didn't wanna keep going like this. How would you get more resilient if you didn't test yourself?

You were hypersensitive. That meant you were basically living on full volume without an off button. Emotions, smells, textures and tastes overwhelmed you like quantum physics would a third grader. It sucked, but you felt it made your art better— more real, maybe. That's why your therapist suggested you go to Paris for your gap year. Or a quiet place in the Highlands, or a little village in Italy. And yes, that sounded good. Really good, in fact, you almost decided to do exactly that.

But then you got that gut feeling. That little tingle telling you to finally dare something. To risk something. And, even though you were the epitome of a scared little mouse, you'd promised yourself to finally start living.

That's what led you to the Australia Zoo— the place for weather that literally melted off your shoes, masses of people trying to squeeze through the roads all at the same time and noises that made you bite your lip and cover your ears in frustration. It was truly ironic. A person like you in the land down under. But it wasn't all bad. It would be a great opportunity for your art. You could finally draw with live models. Drawing wildlife was your favorite thing to do, and in one of the biggest zoos in the world, there was plenty of it. Especially Koalas. The sleepy little marsupials had captured your heart ever since you watched Crickey! with your dad when you were a kid.

And, let's be honest— Robert Irwin was the other, secret reason for your bold choice. You'd always had a sort of parasocial crush on the conservationist, how could you not? He was gorgeous. Especially his ways of treating animals. Like they were breakable. Not in a bad way, never, but he made their fragility seem like it was something beautiful. That spoke to you. And how he didn't scare away from bigger animals like crocodiles or pythons made your heart flutter— he had this way of appreciating life with a passion not many people got to feel. But you guessed it was an Irwin thing. His sister, Bindi, and his mother also had this sort of sunshiney aura, and you didn't even have to mention Steve— you felt like Robert and his dad shared a lot of resemblances.

So, there you were. Standing in the middle of the Australia Zoo, crowded by screaming kids and their parents who tried to get them under control. It was then you really began to question your decision. A person like you in a place like this? What made you think this was a good idea?

But now it was too late for regret. You tried to shrug it off. When a worker approached you, offering you a tour of the place after she found out you were new, you gladly took her up on the offer. It was a necessary distraction.

"And here," she pointed to a big eucalyptus tree within a fenced area, "are the Koalas. We check on them every day, the little guys are quite clumsy."

I know, you wanted to say. That's why I love them. Instead, you gave a small smile. She asked if you had any questions, but you barely registered it, because you heard a familiar voice from afar. Robert Irwin. He was probably doing a crocodile show, like the ones you'd seen on videos and blushed like an idiot around. A part of you hoped that he'd be there. But the other really just shut down. This was a bad idea, you thought.

Apparently, the worker noticed you were zoned out. "Oh, that's the croc show. Happens everyday at about 1.30 pm, it's a bit loud, but you get used to it. You wanna see?" She smiled. You panicked a bit. Honestly, as much as you'd like an opportunity to ogle Robert like you were no better than a man, the crocoseum was really overfilled— especially since he did the show. You didn't think you could take that right now.

So you shook your head. "No, thank you." The worker nodded and kept explaining things about the zoo. You tried to listen, and somehow managed to register most of the information she gave you, even though your mind wandered throughout the conversation. Hopefully, this would go alright.

── ⟡ ˙🌱 ̟

It did, in fact, not go alright.

You should’ve known it would be like this. You’d been warned— by travel blogs, by Reddit threads, even by your aunt who did a yoga retreat here in the 90s. Australia is intense, they all said. The sun, the bugs, the colors. The way the air hums at a different frequency.

But you still weren’t prepared for the noise.

And now, on your first real day volunteering at the zoo, (yesterday's introduction didn't count) you sat curled up behind the Koala exhibition, pressing your hands to your ears and trying to shut off that damn manual breathing that was just a little too fast to be comfortable. It was like your lungs didn't fill up properly, like you were starved for air even though you were breathing just fine. Your stupid khaki clothes felt a little too tight, too restraining, and you felt hot. Kids were screaming, the adults didn't have a concept of personal space and somehow always seemed to wanna walk by when there was no room to let them. Animal noises, that weird zoo smell, the sun burning your skin. Everything overflowed. And what made it worse is that you thought you could handle it. You thought you'd gotten strong enough to survive— yet here you were, getting overstimulated on your first day of the job.

It was frustrating, you wanted to bite your tongue really hard or punch something, but instead, you cried. You didn't want to, but it was like your brain saw it as the only way to calm down again. Though it just made everything worse, because now there was no way out. You always felt intensely. Sometimes it was nice, but most of the time, it made you end up like this— crying, with no way to stop.

You tried to think of something to distract yourself. Koalas, the way they sleepily waddled from tree to tree. It almost worked. Almost. But of course, your feelings were too big. That made you cry more. And then—

"Hey, you alright there?"

No. No, no, no, no, no. Please. Not now, not him. You didn't have to look up to know who that voice belonged to. Yet you did, anyway. And there he was.

The Robert Irwin.

This was just too cliché to be true, you almost scoffed. The sun was setting, painting the Australia Zoo a golden hue. It smelled like that indescribable smell of those summer evenings spent sitting outside with friends. You were at your literal dream destination, and Robert Irwin actually talked to you like he was a damn saint. For some reason, that made you feel worse. The man who made kindness look effortless, the man who cared about the smallest of beings, was taking time out of his day to talk to you, and you were sitting there, unable to do literally anything. Well, it wasn't like he came here just for you. He was probably going to check in with the Koalas or something.

You couldn't bring yourself to reply.

However, instead of laughing, scoffing, or telling you to suck it up, he silently sat down next to you, seemingly not afraid of getting dirty sitting on the ground. Well, he did wrestle crocodiles for a living, a little dirt wouldn't stop him.

And then, he started talking.

"You're new, yeah? For your gap year? Heard Zoey talk about an artist who took a break from uni to come here."

He kept going.

"I've always admired people who can draw. While photography is kinda my thing, I've got two left hands when it comes to art like that," he chuckled, and it sounded heavenly. You sniffled, trying to pull yourself together. You finally managed to form a reply.

"My art's still a work in progress.." You huffed out a soft, watery laugh.

"But that doesn't make it bad," he said, turning to look at you. "Not at all, actually. Art doesn't have to look good, it just has to be, y'know? You got all your life to practice. What's your favorite thing to draw?"

After a moment, you replied.

"Koalas."

You couldn't believe it. You were just barely holding it together, and now you talked to Robert Irwin about Koalas. Meanwhile, he just nodded.

"Ah. I get it. Marsupials are the best for calming down. Well, Koalas are. Kangoroos can be pretty wild, almost had one fight me once. Can't recommend that. But Koalas are chill." He smiled. "Did you know that they sleep about 20 hours a day?"

You chuckled softly. "Yeah, cause eucalyptus leaves aren't exactly the most nutritious. They're honestly a mood."

"True. You should really meet Marley. She's one of our Koalas here, and she's a diva. Gets real pissed when you wake her up at the wrong time." He huffed out a laugh. "It's understandable, though." He paused.

"…you feeling better now?"

You hesitated, before nodding. "Yeah, I… thank you. I'm just— my stupid brain shuts down at every bit of stimulation. Maybe I shouldn't have gone here for my gap year.." It was kind of humiliating, admitting this to your… who even was he to you? Technically, a stranger. Why were you telling this a stranger? What was going on with you? Shit. Before you could spiral further, he spoke up again.

"That's just not true. You know, it's not a bad thing to feel. My dad always admired people who are passionate. And you know what I think? I think this is the place for you. Yeah, I get that the crowds can be overwhelming, but you got the Koalas, don't ya? And the Cassowaries and Wombats and Sugar Gliders… You get the point. Not every human will get you, but the animals do."

You looked at him.

"Why are you doing this?"

He blinked. "What?"

"Why are you so patient with me? You barely know me."

"So?"

That simple question rewired your brain. So? He didn't have to know you to understand you. After a moment, you gave him a small smile.

"Thank you."

He gave your shoulder a light pat and got up. "No biggie. Now, c'mon. I gotta show you Marley."

Robert didn't even give you time to think. Possibly because he knew that sometimes, thinking was not good for you. And so you followed him. Maybe this wasn't gonna be so bad. You had your art, you had the animals and friendly coworkers and him. He was, you couldn't pretend, the best thing that happened to you that evening. You still didn't understand why he took that time for you— he was really busy most of the day, after all. But for some reason, he did. And you were incredibly thankful for that.

Now, the only thing you had to watch out for was falling for him. Like, actually falling in love. That had always been a stupid idea for you. But after that evening, the numbers were not looking good for you at all. Fate, if there was such a thing, didn't seem to be on your side. You bit back a sigh.

As if reading your mind, he looked over at you.

"Hey. You're gonna be alright."

Like hell you were.

hellloooo luv >.< could I maybe request a crosshair/shortfem!reader where crosshair has a size difference kink and is obsessed with his small gf? <33 just the sight of you hugging him by the waist and looking up at him with your pretty little eyes as he towers over you would make him lose his mind. thinking about how he would love reminding you how small you are compared to him. he would love how easy it is for him to pick you up and lift you onto him without even trying and just manhandling you and using you anyway he wants. he would love how his big hands look holding onto your small waist (or anywhere on you for that matter), the tummy bulge he gives you, him having to take his time to fit inside of you bc of how big he is and talking you through it. “shhh cyare..you’re doing so good for me..almost there..”. you’re his little princess and he absolutely adores and loves to praise you for how well you take him while he uses you as his own personal cumdump until you’re cock dumb and ruined by him. I need to be manhandled by him in the most disgusting, loving, and sweetest way possible.

Author's Note: This request made me bonk around the room like a fire extinguisher that's been shot

Summary: Crosshair has always noticed how much more delicate you were than him. But when one night he actually, really notices; He can't stop the way he wants you.

Relationships: Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Reader is 'short coded' but everything else is pretty ambiguous as usual, Creampies, my badboy Crosshair with Goodgirl Reader cliché obsession because my mind cannot know peace, Size Kink, Unprotected sex,

Crosshair doesn't normally use the word 'cute'.

Not much in his life warrants the adjective; and the few things that do, he normally has less than a stellar disposition towards. He almost always says it with venom, meant to insult whatever or whoever it is rather than compliment.

You are a noted exception however, as Crosshair has yet to find an adjective that fits you quite as well as 'cute' does.

His brothers can't even help but agree, as no matter how many times he bites at them to back off with it, they always ruffle your hair or joke about how short you are. He doesn't mind in actuality, they are just being brotherly, but sometimes Crosshair isn't a fan of others pointing out things that only he should be noticing.

Even not that long ago when you'd boarded the Marauder, Wrecker had made yet another comment at how small you were, with a pitch in his voice and an arm around your shoulders. He only stopped when he could feel Crosshair's eyes burning holes into him, but you just waved him off.

Right now his arm is light around your shoulders, as the thumping of club music hums in your ears. The dive bar reeks of greasy food and hard liquor, but you don't mind the change in pace. The weather has been awful lately and with your life busy, coming out and enjoying time in public has been a welcome change. Whether or not you're used to this sort of scene.

Crosshair seems less so, as he looks around the bar seeing the other groups of clones spattered across the scenery. They're all minding their own business, drinking for many of the same reasons you're all out tonight.

"That would involve actually having to try, Wrecker."

You smile and laugh at the largest brother across the table, right shoulder brushing against his ribcage. He has to look down in order to watch your face, as you stay firmly tucked against his side. He hasn't the slightest idea what you're talking about at this point, so he doesn't bother joining the conversation and risk making a fool out of himself.

Wrecker responds, but it doesn't give Crosshair any context as to what the two of you are jokingly fighting about. He's too busy watching the way your head tilts slightly towards him and leans against his body for just a moment.

"Oh, bold words coming from the short stack!" You roll your eyes at Wrecker, one of your hands fiddling with the various scuffs and dents on the Crosshair's thigh armor. He can't feel it other than the light pressure, though sometimes you move enough so that you brush against the black flightsuit between the seams; And that, he can feel.

Wrecker isn't wrong in his comment- you're significantly shorter than all of them, not just him. It's a fact that often lingers in Crosshair's mind, and in a way that nearly always appealing. You always tuck perfectly against his side, a perfect little piece of peace.

It's more than a bit distracting to him, who's found himself more interested in watching your small hands wrap around your glass, more so than his own drink. Everyone's been getting sloshed tonight, but Crosshair's no longer interested in the scene.

He's much more interested in you; As you look down to see his hand fiddling with the soft fabric of your dress.

As he leans in his hot breath fans over the shell of your ear, his lips just barely grazing your skin. He's had one or two drinks, as have you, but no where near enough to get more than the tiniest buzz.

"Let's go."

You can't disagree with him. Hunter is too sloshed to really notice the way the air around you two has been getting hotter and hotter for an hour now, and that Crosshair's hand has been steadily climbing up your thigh. You don't open your legs to let him in, but you still feel the weight of his fingers as you suddenly raise your head to speak up.

"Hey, guys- I think I'm gonna head out for tonight."

Wrecker whines, and Tech bemoans the idea of the two least drunk of everyone besides himself leaving. He was hoping not to be relegated to chauffeur as he is almost every time the Batch goes out, not that he would even drink if he wasn't.

"It's been fun but, I'm getting pretty tired. I'll see you guys later." When Crosshair gets up with you and Tech glances between the two of you confused, you quickly speak up. His hand is on the small of your back, tense with the silent plea of 'hurry it up'.

"Cross is gonna take me home. I'll send him back in one piece, don't worry." It's not as if they can complain about it, as you're always turning around and leaving before they'd theoretically have a chance.

"Slow down," You joke, as the cold air outside hits you. Crosshair just looks down at you from the corner of his eyes, the music still quite loud even from all the way out here.

When you hail a taxi and step in he follows, sliding in right beside you until you're both shoulder to shoulder.

And the whole way there, Crosshair looms. His eyes linger over your form like he's hungry, a stare that's almost physically heavy on you body. You glance up at him once, raising your eyebrows.

But he remains silent; You swear you can hear his heartbeat as the taxi pulls to a stop in front of your building. You've recently moved and you almost don't recognize the place, but it's easy enough to find your way inside once you remember.

Your fingers shake as you punch in the code, feeling his chest brush against your shoulder right blade.

He's so close...

The moment that door closes and locks he is on you, and you reciprocate tenfold. Your arms wrap around his neck tight enough to almost make him need for air, just as desperate for him as he is for you as your lips press against his.

Even for as lithe as he is he still towers over you, pushing your body blindly towards your bed. He knows where it is by heart now, having stayed in your home close to as many times he's slept in the Marauder.

The blankets wrinkle around your form, legs dangling off the edge as he roughly pushes you down only to follow right behind, body looming over yours. Everything here is so soft; Your blankets, your bed, your skin. Crosshair sometimes feels like he doesn't belong, but in the end, he doesn't care.

"You wore this on purpose, didn't you."

He's mentioned this outfit before; It was one that for some reason managed to rev his engine more than anything else you've worn. Maybe it's the red and black, maybe it's the way it lays on your body. Either way, you'd almost totally forgotten he had that reaction to it until right now, as he's busy trying to tear it off you. In a frantic effort you assist, kicking off your shoes and anything else that attempts to get in the way.

"It's not my fault you can't control yourself," You say, feeling his body lay against yours as he unclothes himself.

"Tch," You feel the heat of his cock against your thigh. "Watch your mouth."

Funny how it doesn't sound nearly as mean as that usually would've. You feel the way his cock grinds against you, slick as he slips along your folds.

He pulls away enough so that he can sit on the bed, pulling you towards him the moment he's able.

Your bottom sits the in the dip between his legs, wrapping around his hips. It's almost hard to see his face at this angle, having to lean back just a bit in order to. You also have to as you lift yourself just far enough away to slip a hand between your bodies, guiding his cock as you slowly but surely sink onto him. You can hear him grit his teeth and hiss through them, hands tight on the soft meat of your thighs.

The noise you let out is soft, almost like a breathless sigh as he fully sinks inside of you. Crosshair feels his neck tighten at the sound of it, how cute it is.

But then again you always look cute; The way you get surrounded by his shadow and look up at him, face squished and feeling hot as you bounce on his cock.

Your chest brushes against his, arms wrapping around his neck.

Even sitting in his lap he's taller than you, feeling his hands tightly grip the soft flesh of your waist. Your legs are tight around his hips, and he can feel your hot breath against his skin.

You grip him, nails digging into his shoulders like he's your only weight to this world, cunt tightening around him. Your skin feels like it's on fire, heart pounding in your chest.

When you finally come down from your high you feel Crosshair's hands on your waist, that had for awhile now been partly helping you keep upright. He's so quite sometimes that you can barely tell how he's feeling, that he's finished inside of you but manage to swallow his own moans enough so that you barely even heard it. He liked the sounds of yours more anyways.

Feeling the heat of your cheek as you brush your palm over it, you're glad you left one window open. The chilled breeze is quickly cooling your skin, and the fresh air is keeping your mind from completely fogging over.

"Can you stay the night?"

It's less so an invitation for another round- though you'd absolutely not complain if that turned out to be the case- and more so wondering if you'll be able to steal a rare moment with him. It's not often you get to fall asleep with him, let alone wake up.

Tech is his brothers sober guide as always; He can deal with his brothers while he steals a rare moment for himself.

"Not like they can't reach me if they need me." You'll take that as a positive response, feeling your body slowly lift off of him.

Crosshair often sleeps on his stomach, and as he turns to do so you can see the red, burning lines your nails left on his shoulders and back; And while he's never complained and if anything, seems to enjoy it, you still feel bad for hurting him.

This time you don't comment on them however, instead moving closer enough that he wraps an arm around your waist. Whatever way you sleep the two of you always find a way to tangle together, feeling his warm body against yours in the now cool air of your bedroom.

You think you hear him say something, but you're too close to sleep and it's too quiet for you to hear, as you finally drift off.

I always imagined Cross' eyes to be sensitive and get strained sometimes and when they do he'd turn into a teddy bear or smth he'd just want to cling to you and bury his face into your shoulder to keep the light away while so needy for cuddles or hugs and his squad is just like

🕴 that our Cross?? (bc before he met reader if his eyes got strained hed be the most grumpy gremlin his brothers have ever met)

Author's Note: This is so cute!! I love the idea that Crosshair has eyes just as or close to as good as Hunter's thanks to his enhancements

Summary: Crosshair might be a loner but even he knows that sometimes tender loving care is what works best.

Relationships: Crosshair/Gn!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sensory overload, fluffy, Crosshair being a grumpy little shit that needs cuddles,

-Hey. You busy?

Looking over at your datapad you see a message from Hunter, before glancing back at your computer. Hunter knows damn well that you're always busy, it's more so a matter of if you're too busy to sneak away and do whatever he has in mind.

Well, your work is practically done, so you'll message back in a few minutes once you're free. Because you know damn well that once you start with them, you'll be roped into whatever mess is currently happening. Before you have a chance to finish however, Hunter gives some much needed context to his earlier message. Not too much, however.

-Come here and help deal with Crosshair.

Since when did you become the resident sniper tamer?

Though Hunter knows you well enough, as even though you don't respond, you quickly finish up what you've been working on before getting up. Their barracks are a good ways across the base so it's a decent walk, enough that you can send a quick message.

-On my way.

Part of you is curious what in the galaxy could warrant such am urgent sounding message from Hunter; Though you'd probably never be able to hazard a guess. Hunter doesn't respond, largely because he knows you'll be there the moment he does. Their barracks are a good ways out of the way, but the walk isn't that far. Tech has it timed, actually; In another odd random bit of knowledge he has stored away in the brain of his.

It seems this time you were particularly speedy, as he's a few seconds shorter than usual when you arrive, the door opening. The moment you enter you can feel the tension, as everyone hovers around the center of the room. Hunter comes up to you, and you whisper:

"What happened?" Looking over to see Crosshair on his bunk, with everyone glancing his way, but attempting to be subtle about it. His hand is pressing against his eyes and forehead, hard enough that he surely can't see very well. Hunter fills you in with the only word that is necessary.

"Flashbang." Oh no.

You know Crosshair's eyes are incredibly sensitive much like Hunter's, which also makes him very sensitive to things like bright lights. The two of them are the main reason why they have the lights in all their barracks, and the Marauder, dimmed so low.

Tech is hovering close by, the closest that the Batch has for a medic keeping an eye on a fuming Crosshair. Wrecker comes closer to check and gets venom spit at him, before he presses his hand back onto his face.

While his brothers are concerned and wanting to help, hovering and asking constantly if he's ok are both things that don't work intermingled with someone like Crosshair. You know that he just wants pitch black, and silence that's just as deep as possible.

Sighing softly you step away from Hunter, walking over to his bunk. You don't say anything, just sit on the edge and gently put your hand on his shoulder. You've delt with this Crosshair before, so you have a decent idea of what helps and what doesn't.

Within a few minutes he pulls you closer to him, forcing you to lean back more until you're partly laying down. He wraps his arms around your body, as his face presses against the black of your shirt above your chest but below your shoulder; Wrecker groaning and walks by yelling:

"Hey! Keep it clean, we're still here!" Wrecker jokes, laughing loudly.

Crosshair's hand quickly darts out to get a piece of Wrecker, who deftly dodges it.

"Fuck off."

He feels your hand gently on the back of his head, fingers playing with the short hair at the nape of his neck. His arms tighten around your ribs even more. His head is throbbing so much he doesn't care how he looks, or that what his brothers are saying isn't actually insulting. He'll just act like it is, and bite at them none the less. In a bit he'll be back to normal, but for now he'll indulge.

It's hard to believe that you've actually been a positive influence on his overall attitude, until you have times like this.

"Just leave him alone, Wrecker." Echo quietly speaks up from across the room, where he's cleaning dirt from the inner seams of his armor pieces.

You kind of wish you'd brought your datapad with you in hindsight, as now that Crosshair has you trapped, you have one hand completely empty as the other lays on the back of his head. It's also a little boring, just watching his brothers go about their individual work as quiet as possible.

A few months ago Crosshair would've never even considered doing anything remotely similar to this, but thankfully his edges have been buffed just the tiniest, tiniest little fraction.

You remember a long while back Crosshair had muttered that he didn't deserve you, and while you had vehemently denied the notion, he didn't seem to take it entirely to heart. You only hope these sorts of gestures help reassure him, relaxing with him as the thumping of his headache ever so slowly goes away.

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Hi, I love your work! I was wondering if you could please do a kind of part 2 to the Crosshair breeding kink where he comes back to find her pregnant, if you’re comfortable with that? Thanks!

Part 1 (not a must read, but I reference a few things)

Author's Note: I actually had some random ideas floating around in my mind palace for this sort of thing, so you came by at the perfect time. Time to expand on this idea! I really struggled at the end and I'm not totally pleased with it but I hope you enjoy none the less.

Relationships: Crosshair/Fem!Reader

Warnings: Actual pregnancy, Morning sickness, Tokophobia warning (trying to get hit by people's blacklist just in case they don't like this sort of thing), Feels, Fluff, Too fluffy for crosshair? maybe but eh lets have fun

It's been over a month now, since he broke into your apartment. You've gotten a few days here and there together in-between since, but now has been the longest gap.

It must be a rough one, as you've barely heard a word from him since he was sent off this time.

A lack of communication from him while he's deployed isn't unusual, nor unexpected. Sometimes he's too far away, sometimes they have strict orders for all comm equipment to stay off; Sometimes he just isn't in the mood. But either way, you know things are hectic out there.

Though sometimes you'll get one single message, just enough to know he's ok. It helps soothe your nerves, and Crosshair is a creature of habit; He hates breaking the system you've had for awhile now.

But even if you knew what you signed up for with this, you still wish he was here.

Especially right now as you standing staring in the bathroom mirror, glossing over that you look so much more tired than usual before looking down at the countertop.

Seven different tests lay out on your bathroom counter, all telling you the exact same thing. Your calendar tells you the same answer, but in a more subtle way. No matter how many more ways you try to frame it, the picture is always going to come out looking the same.

You're pregnant.

You hold a fruit in your hand, still cold to the touch and take a bite. It's crisp and tart, frigid against your teeth. It's been the only thing you've been able to eat all day, without throwing it up a short while later.

Every single thing you do points to the exact same conclusion, no matter how much it twists your gut. Or maybe it's your condition twisting your gut; Perhaps both. You take another bite of the fruit in your hand, and leave the refresher to go sit down on your bed. It's an overbearing silence, staring at the ground about a meter ahead of your feet as your lips purse tight.

You're not nearly as shocked by the revelation as you thought you might've been. Or as off put. The idea has never been out of the question, and it wasn't as if you and Crosshair had exactly been playing it safe.

Speaking of him... You wonder what he's going to think about all of this.

You know he likes you, said that he loves you in almost every meaning of the word; But does it include this? It's never been off the table for you, whenever you thought about your future.

You know it wouldn't be easy. The throws of the fury from Separatist aligned planets are still taxing on the clones, and it likely will be for a long while. This war won't end instantly, at least not traditionally.

You left all that garbage on the counter, and with a soft sigh you slide off the bed and go to throw it all away. Gathering them up, you throw them in the trash; They fulfilled their purpose, gave you the answer you needed.

You hope Crosshair comes back to you soon.

Crosshair's eyes glance towards a shockingly bright neon sign he passes on the way to your apartment, and sees the current time towards the bottom.

04:45.

Even if it's the technically the dead of night, Coruscant is always bustling, just a little less than usual. He isn't a stranger to taking respite in ungodly hours, though now more often with you than being completely alone.

You'd given him the code to your place because of it, so he could enter no matter what time of night he managed to steal for himself. You'll surely be asleep, so he'll have to be quiet. Not too much so, he'd rather you not think he's breaking in again. It was amusing in hindsight, but he isn't eager to have you pointing a blaster at him again.

No one is around in the hall to see him punch the code in and hear the soft hiss of your door slide open, before he slips inside and closes it behind him.

It seems he won't need to be quiet this time around however, as he sees you still awake curled up on your couch with a few different snacks and an array of other things, tight in a blanket. Almost all the lights are off, but there's still a soft glow to the room.

"Sick?" He says, as you've already turned towards him when the door opened.

"Cross!"

You stumble and fight the blanket to escape and rush over to him, it still around your shoulders as you hug him. He stiffens; A habit that he's yet to break. But when his body finally relaxes just a bit, you look up at him as his hand shifts around the handle of his rifle case. He'll never let it leave his sight. His face is largely the same neutral expression, but you can see by the way that his eyes are darting across your face that he seems almost confused. At your actions, more than likely.

"You spammed my datapad." You nod.

"And Tech's." Guilty.

"I, had something to tell you." You've been waiting for days now since you'd found it, sitting in limbo overthinking. You feel nauseous, and it's hard to tell if it's nerves or the morning sickness. It's more than likely both, which doesn't help matters in the slightest.

"That important?" He says walking towards your bedroom, following you past the door. Sitting down on the edge of the bed you look up and over at him, giving a good look over.

Even if he's a good and hiding his emotions, you can tell that he is beat; The dark circles under his eyes are more intense and you can see the exhaustion in his eyes. He sits his rifle case on the ground at the end of your bed but still in sight.

Crosshair prides himself on his patience when it comes to his ability to stake out a target; But it's still gnawing at him seeing you trying to figure out what to say or how to say it.

"I," You stop for a moment, adjusting the blanket around your body. It's so cold tonight, though it's partly caused by you opening the windows for some fresh air.

"I'm pregnant, Cross."

You've seen a lot of emotions subtly cross his face over all the time you've known him, but his genuine surprise is a new one. It's still subtle, but the way his lips just barely pull apart and his eyes widen cue you in. But he doesn't say anything. You can tell he's thinking, and you want to know what it is.

"Say something?" You purse your lips, feeling your tight throat. "I know it's, probably not what you wanted to hear after coming back but-" Crosshair lets out a soft 'tch'.

"What; You think I'd just bail?" You look up at Crosshair, tensing. Part of you almost wants to get a bit angry at his tone, but you're too tired for it.

"I didn't know. You're... Not exactly an open book, Cross." You make a vague gesture towards the side of your head.

“And there’s a lot going on up here. I've barely eaten anything in days, and when I dropped my hair tie this morning I cried for almost half an hour.” You notice his eyebrows raise, and he seems displeased at what you've said.

"Days?" You nod.

"Just some fruit I had lying around. Everything else is just disgusting." That explains the compete mess of food across your beside table; Trying to find something to eat. When he asks if there's something you want, you look up at him and shake your head.

You can tell he's thinking, but is keeping it all locked inside his head. You hate that he does it, but you'll pry it all out of him in the morning. There's still so much more that needs answering but five in the morning isn't the time for it.

And more than anything, you just want to hold onto him now that you have him back in arms reach again.

"Nah. I can't eat anymore today. Don't feel like it." He jerks his head forward, in the direction of the bed you're sitting on.

"Get in. It's too fucking late to be awake." He puts his helmet down, before taking off his armor piece by piece going upward. Every part gets laid out meticulously in front of his rifle case, and it's all in sight no matter where in the room he goes. When he's finished and only in his body glove, you're under the blankets and quietly watching him. he changes from it and into a few casual clothes he has stored in your closet; That are far more comfortable than his GAR approved blacks.

Afterwards he slip in beside you, and assumes the same way you always sleep together; With him pulling your back against his chest, his chin on the top of your head. If you don't start in this position, you'll always end up this way by the morning. It feels particularly nice right now, to be able to touch him; Have him right here. You missed him, and Crosshair is far too clingy to not feel at least marginally the same.

But he's more quiet than usual, and you can only equate it with him still thinking. Tomorrow you'll have an actual conversation about this. No one should be talking this emotionally when they haven't slept and the sun is about to rise.

The gentle sounds of air taxis speeding through the skyway outside make a gentle hum, along with the sound of the climate controls you'd cranked down to almost freezing thanks to the nausea making you feel so hot. Crosshair is a massive heat leech, so he's surely not enjoying how cold you've made the room. At least he has your heated body to keep him comfortable.

But as time passes and the sky is just starting to brighten, you feel him adjust a bit, and it wakes you up from that foggy space between awake and asleep. Your eyes stay closed, but you can feel his chest against your back move, before the arm that was wrapped around your ribs gently pulls away and moves to your belly instead. He's at least somewhat awake, despite being so tired.

He must think you're asleep. You can feel the way his hand drifts all the way down from your ribs, down to right below your belly button, then up again. It's a conscious motion, one that he keeps silently doing.

You're only guess is that he's feeling for something that can't be felt quite yet, or imaging what it will be like when it is.

The soft motion makes your gut churn a little bit less about his thoughts, deciding to get some more well needed sleep as your legs tangle with his own.

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Nightmares (Crosshair X reader)

This was based on the following request:

Hey I was wondering if I could have something nice and sweet with a soft crosshair×f reader....maybe she had a nightmare and had big anxiety so crosshair is trying to calm her down? Idk I love rough crosshair as much as soft crosshair lol!

This fic is for you anon and this may be slightly out of character for Crosshair but hey ho! Let's go!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.5K

Crosshair had been secretly pining for you stay in his arms after your friends with benefits arrangement. Not that the sex wasn't incredible, it left him elated and exhausted in equal measure.

And yet, after every encounter, you would make excuses and leave. He didn't want to plea for you to stay, it wasn't in his nature. Pulling yourself away from. He would try to make you stay, by wrapping his arms tight around you. Every time he did this, he secretly hoped that you would melt into his arms and stay there the whole night. The two of you comforted by the feeling of the other in their arms. But you never did.

If we were being truthful, it began to irritate him after a while. It irked him to his core. How could he express that wanted more than the current arrangement, if you ran away after the astonishing sex? You'd perfected the motion of rutting into each other, of tongues dancing in a passion union. He tried becoming more affectionate during the sex, hoping you'd get the hint. Hoping you'd understand the things he couldn't say. He would brush his knuckles over your cheek gently, stare longingly into your eyes, slow the pace so he could play with your body more sensually, making everything gentler. He would hold you close, melting into you as he thrust into you.

But you couldn't stay.

Not because you didn't want to and not because you weren't sure if Crosshair wanted to stay. You knew now that he wanted you to stay. You didn't stay because you didn't want him to know about the nightmares. You had them every night and you didn't want to share that with the man you'd slowly fallen in love with.

So, pained, you left. After every delectable encounter. Even though he is trying to convince you to stay and the feeling of his arms around you want to cling to him through the night. Share the intimate space and feelings together.

But you couldn't stay.

Until one night, Crosshair had been on top of you, propped up on his elbows. This time he had to say it. He took the risk and pressed his forehead to yours. Slowly, he lowered his lips to yours, placing a gentle kiss upon them. It was a whisper of a kiss, so soft and light that you weren’t sure he had done it. It was different from the usual fire you felt when you were together. As he stared intently at you, now softening inside of you, he kept his face close to yours as whispered, “stay.”

“I can’t,” you said, and it was almost a plea. A please to not let him see that side of you. He kissed you again, this time it was firm and passionate. Then he whispered it again, “stay with me.” With those soft eyes staring at you with a burning desire, you could hardly say no. Even though you wanted to.

So, in that moment, you caved. Tonight, you’ll stay. Nodding your head, he smiled softly and rolled off of you, body pressed against the wall. You positioned yourselves so your head lay on his chest, his head resting atop yours. One of your hands entwined with his over his chest. You had to admit that you adored the sensation of being together.

You couldn’t help but fall asleep in the arms of this grumpy yet sweet and caring man. You fell asleep listening to his heartbeat. Crosshair was delighted, he tried to hide his smile and he rested his atop yours. It was the comfort and pleasure he had craved for a while and finally you were here, in his arms. He sighed softly, grasping you closer with the arm that was lazily grazing against your skin. It tickled but you found yourself comforted by the sensation.  You listened intently as his heart rate slowed and his fingers grazed slower and slower until you both drifted off to sleep.

You were in Palace of the Jedi. Your lightsaber was glowing a hazy blue in the darkness of the hall. You’d hidden yourself in an alcove. You’d heard it over and over again. Order 66: The assassination of all the Jedi. That included you. You took a deep brearh as you considered the quickest route out of the temple.

You began to sneak down the corridor, hoping you wouldn’t encounter any clones. You were not so lucky. A group of troopers spotted you and began firing. You countered their shots, carefully aiming them back but only to injure, not to kill. One by one they fell to the ground. There were two left and so you lurched yourself forward, sliding across the floor and slicing the legs of the clones.

You continued running, trying to escape. When you managed to get through the doorway, you noticed him. Anakin. Your dear friend who has slaughtered younglings. Your dear friend who had turned to the Dark Side. As you looked at him, anger in your eyes, he looked at you with an angered pain. Our Anakin was still in there.

“You will die here,” he sneered at you, “you are weak. You were always weak. You will not get in the way of my new Empire.” His lightsaber suddenly alight, he began to circle you like prey.

You woke with a start. As you always did. Bolting upright you began panting heavily, feeling trapped in the memory. Your lightsaber snapped into your hand as you called for it. Luckily, you only kept it in your hand and did not light it. Your breathing was out of control. He will find me again, he’ll kill me, these thoughts circuited out your brain. Nothing else was getting in.

Crosshair heard you call out to the friends you lost in your sleep. He heard you mention Order 66. Your yelling and cries had awoken him and he tried to hold you closer but your body was rigid in fear. He stroked your hair gently, hoping it would calm you.

When you sat up suddenly, Crosshair mimicked your action, gently placing his arm around your shoulder. He had moved the second you yelled out. He reached for the lightsaber in your hand, whispering gently in your ear, “your safe. Just breathe.”  As he repeated those words gently, eventually your grip on your lightsaber slacked and he placed it to one side.

He slowly guided you to sit at the edge of the bed, he crawled between your knees. The solid floor causing him to wince slightly at the contact. He knew that the upright position should help you. But his eyes were trained on you, your eyes were glazed over as if you were still dreaming, you were mumbling the word stop over and over. You began to rock back and forth slightly, suddenly clutching at your sides.

Crosshair placed your hands in his and asked you to breathe with him. In and out. In and out. In and out. You both repeated the breathing for a short while until you stopped shaking and rocking. Yet, your eyes remained trained on the floor unable to look at him. He removed one of his hands from yours and reached up to brush it against your cheek.

“Was it a nightmare about Order 66?” He asked and you nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He queried cautiously and slowly. His deep voice vibrating through his body. You shook your head rapidly. His fingers were now playing with your hair as he gently stroked the side of your face, over your ear where he tucked your hair. Whilst he was doing this, something clicked into place in his head,

“You never stayed before because of your nightmares.” This wasn’t a question. Just a mere statement that was breathed out as he looked at you. Your eyes finally met his, and yours began to fill with tears.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled, “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I always wanted to stay but I couldn’t let you see this. I’m sorry.” Crosshair’s heart lurched at your confession and tears.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I want to help you if you have nightmares.” Crosshair sighed softly, his hand landing on your shoulder, where he rubbed small, feather-like circles on your bare skin. “I care about you. I don’t want you to be alone, particularly when you’re hurting.”

“I care for you too, Crosshair.” You whispered softly.

"I knew my attempts to make you stay weren't that subtle." You couldn't help but giggle slightly and shortly at this.

"N-no, I picked up on those signals a long time ago." You retorted gently. He offered up a small smirk and brushed his knuckles of tear stained cheek once more. He reached up and placed a small kiss to your forehead.

Realising he had nothing further to say, Crosshair crawled back across the bed and lay on his back. You simply watched him as he did so. When he opened his arms for you, you crawled back to him, laying with your head on his chest.  You were still shaking a little, but you slowly calmed as he stroked your back gently. He was warm and comfortable but he had become stoic and calm to in equal measure. You couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking about and so you asked him what was on his mind. He dipped his head down to look at you and you were already looking up at him.

"I'm thinking about your nightmares. About Order 66." He said softly, still stroking your back. He was silent for a moment before he added, "no matter what comes our way, I'll always protect you."

"I know." You murmured into his chest as the heaviness of sleep began to wash over you. Eventually, you both fell back to sleep. There were no more nightmares that night.

Headcanons (SFW and NSFW) - Captain Price || MDNI!!

Character: Captain John Price, Call of Duty

Warnings: Some smut / adult content

Reader: Fem / AFAB

Words: 625

I'm currently in a COD brainrot since I started playing Modern Warfare and I just wanted to share my undying love for a man who could easily be my father, considering his age :P

It isn't too long, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless!

Enjoy!

SFW headcanons!

His favourite petnames for you are darling, love, sweetheart, doll and dove (i do not make the rules)

Price wakes up early in the morning so he makes the both of you coffee for when you wake up

Every weekend he makes you breakfast on bed, just because he can and thinks he has to spoil you every now and then to make sure you still feel loved and cared for.

He buys you a bouquet of flowers whether it's for an anniversary, feeling down or even when he wants to let you know you look gorgeous. He finds a reason every time to buy you flowers.

This man can COOK and he loves to do it for you. When he's cooking he'll always let you have the first taste to make sure it's to your liking.

Forehead kisses are his specialty and he knows you love it.

He loves burying his face in the crook of your neck, taking in the smell of your perfume as he tells you how you smell like a field of flowers

Texts and calls you for every little thing to let you know what he's doing, where he is and when he'll be home (he just wants you to know there's no one else who he could love the way he loves you)

ALWAYS brings you a little gift whenever he returns home from a mission

Whenever he's driving he will put his hand on your thigh, squeezing it every now and then just to feel you squirm under his touch, knowing you can't get enough of it either

Price can also not get enough of some simple cuddles on the couch as the two of you watch your favourite tv show, chuckles softly when you fall asleep while watching (happens like every time lol)

NSFW headcanons!

Price loves mating press and prone bone, mostly because he can be as close as possible to you in these positions

"You're taking me so well, love." and "use your words."

Will literally get a boner if you call him sir

His mouth techniques are GODLY

knows just how to drive you crazy by constantly edging and saying things like "show me how good you can be for me'' and ''I'll let you cum all over my face."

Grabs a handful of your hair when you're sucking his dick, he just needs to push you down even further and further

He'll call you over just to fuck you senseless on his desk

Can't forget the breeding. Price loves to fill you up until you can´t take any more. The sight of his cum leaking out of your pussy is a sight he wants to see every time.

He loves it when you're all touchy during sex, and if you're not he will put your hands on his chest

Makes you cock warm him because if he could he'd literally want to be inside of you 24/7

Even though he's quite rough usually, from time to time he'll also enjoy just having slow, passionate sex as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear

Price will suprise you with a new lingerie set once in a while. He'll make you do a little show for him, just so he can see how the fabric hugs your breasts, hips and every other part of you

Aftercare is his forte, after pounding you into the bed he will tell you how proud he is, cigarette in one hand while using the other to stroke your hair. he will stay with you for however long you need it

He never forgets to take a warm bath with you, no matter how intense it was, he always wants to make sure you're all clean and feeling well

One call away || Zack Fair x Any!Reader [NSFW]

MINORS DNI!!

Character: Zack Fair, Final Fantasy series

Summary: Your loving boyfriend, Zack, has been away for a few days now. It's become unbearable for not only him, but also for you. Not being able to touch each other had more of an impact than both of you had anticipated.

Tags: 18+ content, modern AU (kind of)

Warnings: Dirty talk, masturbation, M!sub, phone sex

Words: 975 words

One day turned into two, two turned into three and so on. Every single day you had a spark of hope he would finally come back, but he didn't. Just like every other time.

Zack knew it upset you, but both of you understood that there wasn't anything either of you could do about it. Work was important as well. And as much as Zack would love to be with you, he couldn't. People were counting on him.

You zapped through the channels once more as you let out a heavy sigh. There wasn't anything interesting to watch on TV, and you weren't in the mood to go out either. All you could think about was your boyfriend.

You let the top part of your body rest against the headboard of the bed, being careful not to spill the freshly made breakfast on your lap. You made it the same way he would, hoping it would ease the loneliness you've been feeling the past few days.

Just as you were about to check your phone, it chimed softly. At first you expected it to be one of your best friends, but no, you read the name 'Zack <3' in big, bold letters.

You picked up your phone, and quickly unlocked it, not wanting to waste any more time. You immediately thought of the worst. He never really texted when he was out and about, usually he'd call you without asking if you're available first.

Zack <3: Hey, do u have time right now?

You: Sure, anything wrong?

Zack <3: No.. it's just, I need you really bad right now.

Without another warning, your phone's ringtone went off and once again you saw his name on your screen. You sat down upright, moving the phone away from your face to make sure everything was visible.

Zack <3: Like really bad.

You were greeted by his beautiful, flushed face. You could tell from the background that he was sitting in one of the bathroom stalls at his work. "Hey, are you okay? Your face is all red, babe?" You questioned, noticing how he was panting and everything.

"I need you so fucking bad, baby. I can't stand being without you." He replied as he unbuttoned his shirt while his gaze was completely focused on you. You knew exactly what he meant and quickly put aside the breakfast from your lap. You set your phone down on your nightstand and turned your body towards it, slowly lifting up your way too big t-shirt.

You could feel your whole body get more and more excited as you noticed Zack had pointed his camera at his boxers, showing how the fabric hugged around his large cock.

As soon as you had taken off your shirt, you immediately slid off your shorts and threw them on the floor. Your eyes trailed all over his body when he set down his phone, just like you did. His open shirt revealed his well-built body, but you just couldn't keep your gaze away from his lubed up dick.

"I need you to touch yourself.. please." Zack whimpered as he touched the tip of his cock, slowly letting his thumb rub over it. He threw his head back into the wall, already panting and moaning at every pump he made. "Shit.. I wish you were here to touch me. I'd be so good for you." He muttered, picking up the pace when he noticed how you were lost in all the pleasure. All you could think about was having his throbbing cock inside of you.

Zack's moans soon got more and more frequent, just like yours. "I want you so bad.. please.. please baby. I- I can't." He whimpered, trembling after every few thrusts into his hand. He was a mess. A mess just for you, to destroy whenever you pleased. That's exactly what he wants you to do, he wants to be edged until he can't talk properly.

You felt yourself getting closer, feeling a shiver go down your spine when you hit just the right spot. "You're such a good boy for me, Zack." You whispered as your eyes were glued to your boyfriend.

Oh how you wish you were the one touching him like that.

"I'm so close-" Zack panted, his eyes soon looking up at you, they were filled with tears of how good he felt. Just for you.

"Can you come for me, hm? Together with me?" He quickly nodded in response, his mouth wide open with drool dripping down from it.

He started thrusting faster into his hand, lubing it up even more with the precum that had already come out. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as you felt yourself just on the edge to come.

"I'm gonna- ah!" Without being able to finish his sentence, Zack was shaking as he came all over his chest and shirt. It was only a matter of seconds before you came as well. Both of you were completely out of breath, a short silence as you came down from your high.

You chuckled softly as you looked over at your phone, seeing how Zack had completely destroyed himself in the process. "You were a great help, babe, but I think I should hurry back. They'll worry if I'm gone any longer." He laughed. Your heart simply warmed up at the sight of his bright smile. "That's okay. I love you. I hope you'll still be able to walk out of there." You teased, his face flushing a bright red as he picked up his phone. He shrugged it off with another laugh.

"I love you too, by the way." Zack quickly blew an air kiss towards his camera as a goodbye.

That was the last thing you heard before he hung up and you were left still aching for more.

Reversed Roles || Cloud x Fem!Reader [NSFW]

MINORS DNI!!

Character: Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy series

Warnings: smut, make-out sessions, handjob, blowjob, pegging, fingering

Summary: Cloud was always the one to make you feel good, but now it was your turn.

Words: 1358

You sighed in annoyance, standing in front of Cloud, who was obviously tired and aching all over. But, he didn’t want to admit it. Just like any other time you asked him how he was doing, he’d always respond with, ’fine’ and shrugged it off. You weren’t that naïve, though. You noticed right off the bat that he needed some relaxation, just some time to recover from the constant fighting. 

‘’Let me help you, okay?’’ You said, looking up at him with puppy eyes, begging for him to let you help him relax. ‘’I have something in mind, which I think could help you relax your muscles a bit.’’ A tiny smirk formed on your lips, causing Cloud to raise an eyebrow and shake his head in confusion. ‘’Well, what did you have in mind?’’ He asked, crossing his arms as he impatiently waited for you to answer. ‘’Promise me you’ll listen to me?’’

He nodded his head slowly, only getting more confused at your vague questions. ‘’So, you know how you’re always the one that makes me feel good, right? How about we reverse the roles and l’ll do the same to you…’’ The blonde’s eyes widened at your ridiculous offer, his cheeks burning up as he cleared his throat. ‘’You know I’d never do that.’’ He replied, rubbing his temples in frustration. It was clear that Cloud was completely overthrown by this question.

‘’Fine, I guess.’’ 

Your eyes sparkled, grabbing Cloud’s hand as you pulled him towards the bed. You pushed him down onto the hard mattress, sitting on top of his lap with the biggest smile on your face. Without another word, you pushed your lips against his, both of you letting out soft moans into each other’s mouth. You gave the boy one last kiss, before lifting your head up. You were out of breath, Cloud was heavily panting, just like you were. The two of you have had heavy make-out sessions before, but this one felt like it had been building up for a long time. 

You pulled up your top, lifting it over your head and throwing it to the side. You did exactly the same with the skirt and your undergarments, leaving you in just your bra. Cloud got the hint and pulled off his shirt and pants, revealing a well-built body underneath all the fabric. Your eyes trailed from his pretty face, down to his chest and the bulge that was forming under the last piece of fabric. Your hand moved down to his erect dick, your slim fingers moving to the rim of his underwear, pulling it down to his legs with a bit of his help. 

When your eyes met his, he avoided your gaze, his cheeks glowing a bright red hue. ‘’May I?’’ You chuckled, wrapping your lips around the tip, swirling your tongue around his as you looked up at him. ‘’Yes…’’ Cloud’s breathing sped up, twitching at the touch of your lips on his cock. 

After taking it easy on the blonde, you sped up your movements, going down on his cock at a quick pace. Some soft whimpers started leaving Cloud’s mouth, his hand holding a gentle grip on the silky strands of your hair, tightening every time you swirled your tongue around him. ‘’S-Stop-’’ He muttered under his breath, making you stop what you were doing. You looked into his eyes as you spoke up, ‘’Hm, what is it? You need to speak up.’’ You said sternly, wiping off the saliva from your mouth. ‘’Stop what?’’ 

‘’I can’t go much longer like this.’’ Cloud covered his face, it was an even brighter red than before. ‘’How about I start prepping you then, sounds good?’’ He quickly nodded without saying another word, he looked embarrassed, but deep down you knew how much he loved it when you took the lead and called shots. 

You grabbed the lube from a small night stand next to the bed, as you opened the cap, the liquid came flowing out. You applied a generous amount on your fingers and some on his aching hole. Cloud shivered at the cold substance hitting his skin, turning his head away from you, which only made you even more excited. You rubbed two of your fingers on his hole covered in lube. Before pushing your fingers inside, you made quick eye contact with Cloud, making sure he was ready. In one swift motion, your fingers slipped inside, moving around easily with the lube. He groaned at the feeling, you could tell he wasn’t completely relaxed. ‘’Hey, relax a bit. Let me take the lead.’’ Your other hand cupped his cheek reassuringly as you whispered those words into his ear.  

It didn’t take much longer for him to fully relax and lean into your touch. You thrusted your fingers gently into him, curling them from time to time, which made Cloud whimper even more than before. He pushed his hips into you, creating friction between the two of you. His whimpers only grew louder as you sped up, hitting his sweet spot every time you curled your fingers. 

He was already a mess, and the worst was yet to come. 

After some time, you decided it was time for a bigger treat. You got up and grabbed the silicone strap-on from one of the drawers of the night stand. Cloud’s heart was racing as he looked at it, you had never done this before, but you wanted to give him the exact same pleasure he always gave you. 

With a bit of struggle, you managed to put it on. You tightened the straps as you then lubed the entire thing up. The lube was spread nicely as you stroked it gently. ‘’On your knees~’’ You mused, watching Cloud do as he was told. 

As soon as he was on his knees, face down into the pillow, you pushed the silicone dick inside him. His back arched, earning you a loud moan mixed with heavy breathing and whimpering. 

You slowly fucked him, the lube creating a squelching sound every time you pushed it further inside. It wasn’t halfway in yet, but he already looked ravished. He moaned loudly, whining when you pushed it in further and further. All you could do was watch his pretty face as you fucked him into the mattress. Even you were moaning, panting with every thrust you made. 

You wrapped one of your arms around his chest, using the other to stroke his dick roughly. Your skin smacked against his plump ass, it was turning red from how you were pounding into him. Cloud stopped you for a moment, turning himself around as he then quickly signed you to continue. The smirk on your face was so obvious to the boy, it made him even more aroused than before. 

Cloud wrapped both his legs around you, pushing you down into his needy ass even more. ‘’Look who’s being a good boy for me, hm?’’ You said, kissing down his neck and chest, pampering him all over. His nails dug into your skin, leaving red trails down your back. 

It wasn’t much longer until you noticed he was reaching his orgasm. Your hand wrapped around his cock once more, your thumb moving over his tip. You knew how sensitive he was there. Cloud moaned, throwing his head back into the pillow as he came all over you. Your chest was covered in cum, dripping down to your stomach and pussy. 

‘’Look at you. You really needed that.’’ You chuckled, scooping some liquid on your finger and licking it off. ‘’No I didn’t.’’ He replied, getting up from the bed, but sitting back down right away. ‘’You really went at it, huh.’’ He sighed, rubbing his back as he looked over at you. You crawled over to him, sitting down next to the blonde. 

‘’Next time, I’ll go easy on you.’’

Unrequited love || Cloud Strife

Character: Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy series

Warnings: angst, Hanahaki disease, mentions of blood/death

Summary: Your unrequited feelings for Cloud were weighing heavily on you. You were suffering not only emotionally, but also physically, to the point of death.

WC: 976 words

You've been extremely frustrated during the last few days. Your hands were entangled in the silky strands of your hair, to the point you were tearing hairs from your scalp.

For years, you've had feelings for Cloud, but you knew without asking him, that those feelings weren't mutual.

Every single person you told about your troubles, all advised you to confront Cloud about it. But, you weren't going to do that. What point was there in doing so? He had made it very clear to everyone around him, that he wasn't interested in relationships and all that.

You tried to push yourself past these feelings with every last ounce of energy you had, but it was harder than you had expected. Every time you tried to look the boy in the eyes, you felt like throwing up. And because of that, you had decided to try to avoid him at all costs.

And just like any other day, you found yourself sitting at the bar of Seventh Heaven with tears pooled at the brim of your eyes. Just the thought of Cloud made your heart break into a million pieces, but luckily, Tifa was there for you to take your mind off of things.

''Hey, cheer up! Don't stress it too much, okay?'' You heard Tifa's voice yell from the other side of the room. Tifa's ability to sense how you were feeling from such a distance shocked you. You nodded, biting on your bottom lip as you muttered out a soft 'yeah'.

Tifa walked up to you, lifting your head up a bit as she wiped the tears from your cheeks. ''You know, maybe Cloud does share your feelings. He'd prefer it if you told him instead of keeping it to yourself.'' She remarked as she softly patted your back.

''I don't know, you know how he is. He probably doesn't want to hear me whining to him about my feelings.'' You replied, heaving heavily as you picked up the glass of whiskey in front of you. You gulped the final bit in one go, coughing as a result of the scorching sensation in your throat.

''Well, I need to go out for a bit. Don't do anything stupid, okay?'' Tifa chuckled, waving you goodbye as she hurried slowly towards the door.

As soon as you heard the door fall shut behind you, you ran to the toilets. Your head was dangling over the toilet, spewing blood-tinged petals out of your mouth. You felt sick to your stomach. Not just when you saw him, but even if you thought about him for just a second.

The petals covered in blood were floating in the toilet, the sight making you throw up even more. This feeling was crushing you on the in- and outside. Just a few weeks ago, you started throwing up the petals out of the blue. When you searched up what this meant, you found yourself reading all about the 'Hanahaki disease'.

Unrequited love.

Once you read this, you knew for sure, that Cloud didn't feel the same. Everyone tried to reassure you that it was just all in your head, but it didn't change the way you felt.

Your train of thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on the door.

''It's me. You okay in there?''

You could recognize this voice anywhere. It was Cloud. Of course it had to be him.

''I'm okay, just feeling a little sick today.''

Lies.

''Can I come in?'' He asked, his voice genuinely sounding worried this time. You heard him turning the knob to open the door that you had locked, your eyes widened as tears started streaming down your face. What were you going to say now? Just ask him to go away?

You stayed quiet, not knowing how to reply.

''Are you sure you're okay?''

Again, you stayed quiet.

You quickly wiped the blood and tears away from your face, rubbing your eyes profusely, before unlocking the door for Cloud. His eyes pierced right through you, even though you weren't looking him in the eyes. You held your breath, trying not to throw up again. It was a nightmare, thinking about Cloud seeing you throw up those petals and having to explain what's going on.

''Have you... been crying?'' He furrowed his brows, stepping closer to you, pushing some strands out of your face as you looked down at the floor. ''And what's that in the toilet? Flower petals?''

Your eyes shot up at him, your heart skipping a beat when you realized you had forgotten to hide the evidence.

''It's nothing, don't worry about it.'' You mumbled, slapping his hand away as you quickly flushed down the blood with petals. You didn't turn around as you wanted to avoid any eye contact.

''Hanahaki disease, right?''

Your chest started to hurt even more, making you pant heavily as you thought about all the possible outcomes of this.

Before you could even think of another reply, you felt his warm hands grab you and turn you around. You felt like dying.

You squeezed your eyes shut, holding tightly onto the fabric of your shirt. And to your surprise, you felt his soft and gentle lips against your own. You opened your eyes slightly to look at Cloud with his eyes shut, kissing you passionately. You were frozen in your place.

He pulled his lips away, cupping your cheeks with both of his hands as she sighed. ''I've seen you throw up those petals before.''

''How?''

That was all you could get out right now.

''Were you that sure that my feelings weren't mutual?''

''Yes, you said last time that you weren't interested in any kind of relationship.''

He placed another kiss on your forehead, his face stoic as ever. You chuckled at the sight, Cloud hadn't changed one bit.

''Maybe.. I changed my mind.''

𝐙𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 || NSFW !

Character: Zen / Hyun Ryu, Mystic Messenger

Warnings: smut, make-out sessions, eating you out, passionate fucking

Word count: 1777 words

Summary: Zen's birthday was coming up and you knew he wouldn't be home because of work. So, you decide to celebrate it early and spoil him in ways you never have.

Today was a pretty.. dull day. As usual, Zen was out working again for a big role that he had in a upcoming musical. Every day he was rehearsing for hours on end and leaving early in the morning to go to set, which meant, that you were alone the entire day with nothing to do. Well, besides grocery shopping and taking care of household chores. You didn't want to burden Zen with chores after work, he was absolutely wrecked every time he came back from rehearsing.

With Zen's birthday coming up soon and his busy schedule, things were quite difficult when it came to organizing a celebration party. But you were determined to surprise him anyway.

You had prepared everything the day before when he was already sleeping. You decided to make him a nice dinner first with some romantic lights and a small gift to begin with.

Big plans were up ahead though for the evening. You had bought lingerie, blindfolds, cuffs and many more. It was going to be his night and all the choices would be up to him. Both you and Zen wanted more spice, more intimate moments with each other, but there was never time to do so. If it did happen, it only consisted of a heavy make-out session.

Hours passed in what only felt like minutes, and there you were, sitting in a charming dress at the dinner table with a nice meal for the two of you. All the lights were dimmed and replaced with candles and petals of a rose scattered all over the floor, the table, and the bed as well.

You waited anxiously, tapping your foot on the floor, the clacking of your heels echoing throughout the entire room. Your nerves were making you heat up and sweat.

After more minutes had passed, you started wondering if he'd even get home in time. Otherwise, you would have to eat this entire meal yourself, which would be horribly disappointing.

Then, as you heard the door open and Zen's voice filling the room, you finally got your redeeming answer. Your eyes immediately lit up, pushing your chair back as you ran over to him. He looked quite surprised by the entire scenery you had set up.

You flew into his arms, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. You could smell the cologne he had put on earlier, and it smelled like heaven. Zen knows what looks good, which cologne smells good, and how to put his outfits together.

Every day, you realize just how lucky you actually are.

''Did you prepare all of this just for me, darling?''

Zen kissed your forehead, cupping your cheeks gently as he looked into your eyes. ''Yes… I wanted to celebrate your birthday, despite knowing how tight your schedule is.''

In response, Zen chuckled, taking a lock of your hair as he twirled it around his finger. He leaned down, and to your surprise, he smelled it a bit before releasing the strand of hair. ''You used special shampoo, didn't you?'' He asked, your cheeks were flushed as the words fell from his lips.

You nodded slightly, fumbling with the fabric of your dress. You lifted your head and looked Zen dead in the eyes. ''I know you like this shampoo, so I used it again to make sure I smell good.''

''Oh! I cooked us a meal. Let's go eat before it goes cold.'' You took your lover's hand and took him to your dining room. Zen gasped, his eyes sparkling at the sight. ''It looks delicious.''

''I'm glad.'' You replied, sighing of relief as you sat down in front of Zen.

The two of you ate your meal, having small and fun conversations in between. A lot of laughs were shared and as soon as both of you finished your plate, you were out of breath. Your cheeks hurt from laughing so much and smiling the entire time.

''Now that dinner is over, I have another surprise. I'll be right back.'' A grin formed on your lips, waving at Zen as he stared at you, completely astonished.

It didn't take you too long to put the lingerie on. You took a deep breath, pushing the door open as you stood at the entrance of your bedroom door. Zen noticed you had finished up, his eyes widened once they fell on the lingerie that you wore.

''Wow… You look so hot.'' Zen said, drool practically leaking from his mouth like he was an animal watching his prey.

''This is going to be a long night, hun.'' He smirked as he made his way over to you, putting his arms around you and pulling you up into his firm grip. In bridal style, he took you to the bedroom, placing you down gently onto the mattress.

As he was hovering over you, he pulled his shirt off right away, throwing it to the side. So did he with his pants. The only thing left were his boxers.

Your heart started racing when you saw Zen lean down and push his lips onto yours. The soft touch and taste of your cherry lip gloss were sending you all the way to cloud 9.

The two of you ended up in a heavy make-out session. Zen was hungrily touching you, his hands slithering from your thighs up to your breasts. His lips were pulled away from you. He pulled the top from your lingerie down and moved his mouth down to your breasts, sucking on your nipples while rubbing your thighs in all the right ways.

You were moving into his touch, completely in ecstasy. Your soft moans filled the room as Zen continued to engulf himself in what's his. Every inch of your body felt like it was tingling. He knew how to touch you, make you feel good and make you unable to speak.

After what felt like an hour, he lifted his head up, heavy panting, as he undid the tie from his hair. His silver locks slid over his shoulder and tickled your skin when it made contact.

"God, you look so captivating like this, Zen.'' You said, your eyes moving from his deep, red orbs to his well-built body. Your heart was beating out of your chest the longer you kept staring at him.

Zen grinned, running his hand through his hair. "Says you, hun." He simply replied, before opening his mouth again. "You look like you need some ravishing, hm?" Your eyes widened, nodding at the remark he just made.

Without another word, he pulled down the lingerie, the fabric hanging around your legs. You slid your feet through the opening, throwing it to the side after, which now left you completely naked.

Zen's expression told you enough about how desperately he wanted… no, needed you.

He pulled you down, making you lay down at the edge of the bed as he slung your legs over his shoulders. Zen wasn't giving you any time to prepare, within seconds his mouth was hovering over your wet pussy. His hot breath against it made you whimper softly, you couldn't wait to feel him inside you once again.

As you were about to plead to your boyfriend about how much you were aching for him, he had already plunged his tongue inside you. A shiver made your body wriggle around, wanting to create a friction between you two to enhance that feeling.

"P-Please Zen…" You managed to mumble out in between your whines and moans, you lifted your head to take a quick look at Zen. You noticed his bright red orbs looking up at you, all while he was working his tongue in and around your pussy.

He moved his mouth away from you, wiping off all the juices that were practically leaking out of you. "What is it baby, hm? Use your words." Zen chuckled, kissing the insides of your legs as he slowly moved up. He kissed your belly, your breasts, shoulder and lastly one quick kiss on the lips.

"I can't wait any longer." You were panting, digging your nails into his back, which would surely leave some marks behind. "Oh darling, I could easily tell by the way you were moving your hips into me just now." Zen replied, shortly after he removed his boxers, "You're in luck today. I've been aching for you all day." He hovered over you, pressing the tip against your entrance.

You could see a grin forming on your boyfriend's face as he continued sliding it over your pussy, spreading your juices everywhere. "I don't even need lube. You really can't wait, huh…"

And before you could answer that, he pushed himself inside of you. His shaft was sliding easily all the way into you. You held your breath as he continued pushing it in. Sometimes you'd forget just how big he was. "Ah Zen, please be gentle~" You asked, finally exhaling when he stopped. Zen nodded at you, starting to thrust into you at a slow and steady pace.

You were a mess. You were moaning all over the place and whining every time you felt him thrust all the way inside you. Zen was groaning, sweating and cursing words about how much he missed you and your body. Your pussy was throbbing, it felt as if you were already approaching your orgasm.

"Hm I can feel your pussy tightening around my cock. Do you want to cum, baby?" Zen rubbed his thumb on your cheek in small circles, picking up the pace a bit when he saw you quickly nod at him in response.

Zen moaned as he let his head rest on your shoulder. You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist as you whimpered, your orgasm edging closer and closer.

It didn't take much longer for both of you to reach your high, Zen pushed his cock all the way inside as he let his load flow inside you. Zen let his body lay on top of yours while the two of you were both panting profusely. His thumb rubbed over your red-hued cheeks once again as he placed a delicate kiss on your neck.

´´Do you still want the actual dessert?'' You contemplated, letting your arms hang loosely around his neck.

''Save it up for tomorrow. We have to catch up first. hm?'' Zen pondered as he rolled over onto his back. He invited you to cuddle with him by patting the empty spot beside him.

You simply did so without exchanging another word. It was only a few minutes later that both you and Zen had fallen into a deep slumber.

Baking with them ღ || HEADCANONS

Gojo, Yuji and Megumi !!

Word count: 718

𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

When the two of you are baking, he tends to be a bit goofy.

You like to take the lead and do most of the mixing, but Gojo always wants to try and take a quick taste.

If you see him sneakily trying to put his finger into the mix, you slap his hand away and look him dead in the eye, at which Gojo, will chuckle and act like he was reaching for something else.

You brush it off and continue doing your thing, but knowing Gojo, he won't stop budging you.

Gojo rests his chin on your shoulder, watching as you do what you love to do.

Whenever you ask him to mix something or get an ingredient for you, his face just seems empty. If it was real, you could see a big question mark floating above his head.

Baking neither cooking are Gojo's thing, he can't even cook an egg.

When you've baked a cake or anything else, Gojo immediately dives in. His eyes sparkle as he runs around like a little kid as soon as he has taken the first bite.

He likes to joke around and tell you in a funny voice how you could be a professional baker and how you should be famous for your creations.

Baking with Gojo always is another experience.

𝐘𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢

Yuji and you always do everything together.

When the two of you are baking you can see the biggest smile on Yuji's face, nothing in that moment could wipe that off of his face.

When you two bake together, it's guaranteed that it will be messy.

You don't mind, though. Seeing him being so goofy and messing around with the flour or eggs makes you giggle.

He likes to think it's a competition who can do it better, he's always determined to make something that will suprise you.

The faintest blush can be seen rising up on his cheeks when he sees your eyes widen as you taste the golden brown deliciousness in front of you. Yuji especially feels proud of himself once you tell him he should make it more often.

Every saturday it's a tradition you make muffins, it's your favourite pastime.

Yuji loves to spoil and pamper you, he likes to do all the mixing because he doesn't want you to get hurt or tired from doing all the work. No matter how much you tell him it's okay, he always insists on doing the hard work for you.

When you've finished mixing everything together, Yuji is always the one to taste test and tell you if there's anything you should add to it.

He always stands in front of the oven, watching the mixture rise and the smell finding it's way to his nose. He smiles brightly as he tells you with the most adorable voice ever that it smells 'heavenly'.

You'll never get tired of baking with Yuji. It really lifts your spirits, even if you've had a bad day.

𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨

Megumi is a bit hesistant when it comes to baking. He isn't the best at it, but he likes to try, just because it's you that's asking.

He continuously asks for reassurance, because he doesn't want to mess up. Especially since he knows how much you love it when whatever you have baked turned out perfectly.

Even though there's silence between the two of you, you enjoy his pressence and seeing him try so hard. That's all that matters to you honestly.

You always have this tradition that Megumi is always the first to taste everything when it's done. His opinion matters more than your own.

Megumi goes shopping for you to get whatever ingredients you need, even when you insist on doing it instead.

Baking is something he started to enjoy once he did it a lot more often with you. You always gave him some recipes and days later you would see him back in the kitchen using those same recipes to bake something for you.

When people ask Megumi about something he's eating and it's something you made, he always blushes and smiles just a tad bit when he explains you made it.

Megumi is someone who learns really fast, a lot of things you had to do many times to master, he did it in a few attempts.

Updated: 03/31/2021

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This blog is 18+ ONLY!!! Because I’m an old lady, I love to use bad words, and there’s just a ton of porn here. There will be an occasional dub-con or very dark fic. I do like writing fight scenes so there are going to be mentions of pretty graphic violence. I do my best to tag accordingly, and put content warnings on each of my fics but if you notice I’ve missed a warning anywhere, please DM me and I’ll fix it ASAP!!

I write reader insert fics for whatever I feel like, but it’s mostly Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, and Sebastian Stan characters. I will also probably have more wlw fics as well, so look forward to those! I’m up for anything! I do my best to keep descriptions of the reader as vague as possible to keep things inclusive, but will sometimes add descriptors of easily changed aesthetic things (i.e. tattoos, piercings, etc.). Again, if you have trouble fully immersing yourself in one of my fics due to a reader description, please let me know! I welcome constructive criticism.

Keep reading

like lovers entwined

pairing: noah sebastian x nick ruffilo x fem reader

cw: polyamorous relationship, cozy morning sex, threesome, unprotected p in v sex, fingering (f receiving), double penetration (kinda), all the sweetness for our favorite birthday boy

word count: 1.5K

taglist: @concretenoah / @ladyveronikawrites / @circle-with-me / @darksigns-exe / @xxrainstorm / @agravemisstake / @monotoniscreaming

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author's note: just wanted to write a little something sweet and cutesy (and sexy and a little filthy, as i do) for ruff's special day. fair warning: not proofread. all mistakes are the fault of my silly brain.

**************************************************************

You wake up to Nick pressed against you. It’s so cold in the room–thanks, Noah–but he’s so warm, the length of his body pressed close against your back, arm slung over the two of you.

You feel at ease here, in bed with your boys; you feel surrounded by them, your absolute favorite thing. Being sandwiched between them always feels at once grounded and floaty. You pull the blanket up higher and settle back against Nick’s front, pulling Noah in. Nick stirs a little, holding the both of you closer, not rushing. Noah wiggles himself back into you, warm and solid and still sound asleep.

“What are you doing, sweet girl?” Nick asks, placing kisses to your bare skin. You can hear him breathing heavy, a little ragged, warm breaths ghosting over the juncture of your neck and shoulder. You realize you’ve been mindlessly wriggling yourself back against him as you feel him getting harder against you, getting wetter for him. The arm he had slung over Noah moves behind your body, down between your thighs, fingers ghosting over your center through your panties. “I said, what are you doing, sweet girl?”

“Birthday present?” you offer, gasping when his fingers push your panties to the side, dragging through your folds.

“You’re so wet for me already,” he praises, pressing into your clit briefly and dragging back down, ghosting over your entrance, pulling a moan from you. “Birthday present, huh?”

He pulls his hand away and you almost whine, complaints ready on your lips until his fingers are notching under the waistband of your panties. “Nicky,” you whisper, taking his hand in yours and helping him get them off of you. You feel him press close to you again, hard and insistent against your back.

“What did you have in mind?” he asks, kissing and nipping at your neck. His fingers are back and you’re shaking, twitching, needing him. “You know how I love your birthday presents.”

You didn’t have anything in mind–you hadn’t even thought of this before you woke up, aching for him–for his touch, his mouth, his cock. Anything he has to offer you. “You decide,” you say. “Your birthday. You pick.”

“Generous girl,” he says, cock notching at your entrance, drawing a gasp from you. You close your legs around him as he drags his cock through you, teasing your slit, but he pulls back when you groan. “Lie on your back and hitch your leg up over Noah. Be careful, though–you wouldn’t want to wake our sleeping beauty.” 

You do as he asks, settling flat on your back and draping a leg over Noah’s hip. Nick is crawling between your legs and doesn’t give you a moment before his mouth closes around your clit, two fingers in your cunt. The stretch burns, just slightly, momentarily. Your responding moan is louder than you intended, and Nick is up in a moment, clamping a hand over your mouth to quiet you. “You’ll wake him up if you’re not careful. Do you want to wake him up?”

You can’t help but laugh, giggles muffled by Nick’s palm. You nod, feeling his grin against your neck before he bites down, fingers curling inside you.

“Go ahead. Wake him up, then.”

You hitch your leg higher over Noah, dragging him closer towards you. Your legs are spread so wide, you’re tempted to feel shame by the obscenity of it. Nick settles back down, closes his mouth around you again and swirls his tongue, fingers delving deep—your gasp is automatic. Noah stirs, turning to face you when you cry out again, louder. His eyes focus on you, narrowing when he realizes what’s happening. 

“Starting without me?” he asks, and you can’t speak—not when Nick’s fucking you so thoroughly with his fingers, not when Noah sneaks a hand under your sleep shirt, grazing a finger over your nipple, teasing it between his thumb and index finger. “Sneaky girl, trying to get the birthday boy all to yourself. That’s not fair.”

“I woke you—” you start, breaking off into a gasp when Nick brushes over that perfect fucking spot inside you, the slightest graze of teeth over your clit, an edge of pain with your pleasure. “I woke you up, didn’t I?”

“Before he got his cock in you and everything, lucky me,” Noah says, kissing your neck to distract you as his hand moves lower, fingers replacing Nick’s mouth on your clit–Nick’s mouth moving lower, too, licking inside you, between his two fingers. “Who are you this wet for, baby?” Noah asks, teasing you. “It’s for Nicky, huh?” you nod, groaning, no use in sugarcoating it. “I know. He really knows how to use his mouth, doesn’t he?”

“Yes,” you gasp, settling further into the bed, closing your eyes and focusing solely on the way their hands feel. The way Nick’s mouth feels. The way it may be a little bit dramatic, but you feel almost like you could ascend to heaven with the way that it all feels so good and so much. “God, Nick, that feels so good.”

“What about me?” Noah asks, humor clear in his tone. Nick laughs and the vibration goes straight through you, making you grind your hips down into both of them. “What do you want to do with her, Nicky? You think she’s ready for your cock?”

You groan desperately, dizzied as always by the way they talk about you like you’re not there, while they’re touching you–clearly very aware of your presence. “Why don’t you ask her, baby?”

“Seems ready to me,” Noah says, dipping two fingers into you alongside Nick’s. The stretch is so good your vision blacks. “Look at my fingers, Nick, they’re fucking sopping,” he adds, and you have half a mind to be embarrassed. They wouldn’t want you to be, so you push it away. “If she’s not ready, I can be.”

He’s joking. Kind of. You know he’d take your place in a moment.

“I think a lot of that is my spit, actually,” Nick offers, bringing a hand down hard against your tummy to keep you from squirming when you laugh. “And her pussy. She’s soaked.”

“Are you ready for him?” Noah asks–he doesn’t even finish asking before you’re nodding your head and squirming. “Fuck, yes, I knew it.”

Nick stands, sliding his pj pants down his legs. Your mouth waters as you get a good look at him. Noah is at his side in a moment, taking Nick in his hand and kissing him, hard, on the mouth. They whisper into each other’s mouths, giggling before kissing again. You wish you could hear what they’re saying, but you have a good enough idea. Something sweet, something filthy, and you’re wetter and squirmy just imagining it.

Nick crawls over you, hiking your legs up around his hips. Noah brackets your side, arm gentle and wandering over your torso. When Nick’s cock breaches your entrance, you gasp, the stretch so delicious and always a little bit too much, to start. But so good. Too good.

When you whine, Nick kisses across your face to soothe you. Noah’s hand travels down, middle finger playing across your clit. You’re so close already from all that time they spent on you. You have to squeeze your eyes shut, focus on lasting a little longer for them, but it goes a little out the window when Noah’s hand moves lower, two fingers sliding into you alongside Nick.

“Oh, fuck,” Nick moans, at the same time that you gasp out Noah’s name.

The stretch is too much, maybe, it pulls you away from the edge until he curls his fingers, taking you closer and closer until you’re not sure how much longer you can stand it.

“Oh god, I’m so close. Please,” you moan, grinding yourself down onto Nick’s cock, into Noah’s fingers. At the press of Noah’s thumb at your clit, it’s instant. You reach your end with a wail and Nick fucks you through it, Noah pressing soft kisses to your neck until they can tell you’re oversensitive.

When Nick pulls out, Noah is on him in a moment. He licks a palm, wrapping a hand around Nick and another around himself. They kiss, lost in their world–it has the power to make you feel left out, ignored, but you love watching them with each other. You love watching their care and softness, the way they can read each other so well. 

When Noah cums, burying his face in Nick’s neck and whimpering; when Nick does, painting his own belly and gaze shifting to you, pretty eyes sparkling–you don’t feel left out at all.

They bracket your sides again, pressing kisses to your cheek. It almost feels like your birthday.

“Happy birthday, Nicky,” you say, tangling a hand in his hair and kissing him. Noah echoes the sentiment, leaning over your body to do the same.

“We’re sleeping in today,” Nick says, resting his head on your chest and swinging an arm over Noah, pulling him closer. “Y’all wore me the fuck out.”

Wolfstar x Reader Oneshot - Extreme Truth or Dare

Requested?: No

Prompt: None

Type of oneshot: Fluff

Timing: Marauders’ Era (7th Year)/Golden Trio Era (OOTP)

Reader's Relations: None

Reader’s House: Gryffindor

Warnings: It gets a bit steamy, but it’s not fully written smut

Other notes: Also, the first bit takes place in February of 7th Year, for plot reasons. Also in this Sirius doesn’t die

-------------------------------

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not a child.”

“Neither are we. It’s just a game, (Y/n), why won’t you play with us?”

I rolled my eyes and closed the book I was reading, “Let me rephrase that sentence. I do not act like a child. Truth or Dare is a game that first and second years play not seventh years. You boys need to grow up!”

“But it’s fun!” James protested, leaning over the back of the sofa I was sitting on to whisper in my ear, “Plus you might get a chance to confess your crush.”

“Shut it you git!” I retorted, throwing a nearby cushion at his head. How he knew I had a crush on one of his best friends, I had no idea, “If you boys promise to behave, and by that, I mean no inappropriate questions, I’ll play.”

“Awesome! Best person ever!” Sirius shouted, running over and hugging me, “You’re my favourite person, (Y/n)!”

“T-thank you,” I replied, feeling my face heat up.

“Right! I’ll go first, (Y/n), truth or dare?”

I rolled my eyes sighing, “Dare. I am not giving you a chance to ask me that question I know you want to ask me.”

“Fine, be like that, but I dare you to sit on Padfoot’s lap for the rest of the game,” James responded, smirking. I felt my face heat up as I turned to Sirius, “I-is that okay with you?” Sirius nodded turning away from me and I walked over to him sitting down on his lap, shifting a bit.

“Stop that, (Y/n).”

“I’m trying to get comfortable! It’s not my fault you’re an uncomfortable chair.”

“I’m sure there’s one part of him you’d love to sit on though, right, (Y/n)?” James asked, wiggling his eyebrows. My face went bright red, knowing exactly what he was hinting at and threw another red and yellow cushion at him, “Shut up! So my turn now… Remus, truth or dare?”

He thought for a moment before speaking, “Dare.”

This put a smirk on my face, “Next time you see Jen, ask her out. I know you like her.” Remus’ face turned red and I chuckled, “And I’m right.” Before Remus had a chance to recover, the portrait hole opened and in came Lily, Jen following behind her, the two of them holding a couple of pieces of parchment each. The smirk on my face grew and I turned to them, “Jen! Come over here for a minute please!”

The Hufflepuff turned to face me and placed her books down on a nearby table before walking over, “Yeah?” I just looked at Remus and nodded, causing him to get fidgety, “Do I have to do this in the middle of the common room?”

I nodded, “Gotta make sure you do it, Rem.”

He sighed and stood up, “Fine, but I’ll get you back for this. Jen, listen, whatever you say, I won’t be upset or annoyed, but I really like you, and I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date?” I could see his face was bright red as Jen stared at him, blinking, “Oh. I actually had no idea. I’m sorry, Remus but-”

“JEN!”

Before we knew it, Charlotte had ran up and hugged Jen from behind, “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“I was dragged, Lottie. Would you mind giving me my personal space for a few minutes?”

Charlotte nodded and unwrapped her arms from Jen’s waist, “Yeah! I’ll be up in my dorm, you better come and talk once you’re done with whatever it is you’re doing with these guys,” she spoke, quickly pecking Jen on the cheek before running back upstairs to her dorm room.

“As I was saying, I’m sorry, Remus, but I’m already taken.”

I could almost see Remus’ heart break at hearing that, but he did his best to compose himself, “Oh, right. That’s okay. Sorry to bother you, I just thought I’d tell you.”

I knew Jen didn’t want to hurt his feelings and I could tell she felt bad as she turned and walked up the stairs to the girls’ dorms, I started to feel bad too as I’d been the one to dare Remus to confess, but before anyone else could say anything, Remus had turned to me, “How could you?! Are you trying to embarrass me?!”

“Remus, I didn’t know she was dating someone. Seriously. I had no idea!” I shouted, standing up from Sirius’ lap to face him.

“You still dared me to tell her I liked her! This is your fault, (Y/n)! I HATE YOU!”

I gasped at his outburst, feeling tears come to my eyes due to my crush on him. Thankfully, James didn’t know that as he’d be teasing me about liking both him and Sirius if he knew. Remus walked closer to me, anger in his eyes, but before he could get too close, Sirius stood up and stood in front of me, “Moony, stay away from my girlfriend!” he shouted, blocking me from Remus.

“Sirius. Move.”

“No. I won’t let you hurt her! None of us knew Jen was dating Charlotte, if we did we would have told (Y/n) to change the dare! None of us would purposely do anything to make you upset, don’t you know that?! We’re the ones that became animagi to help you! We’d sacrifice anything for you, Moony!”

At this, Remus took a step back, “I-I’m sorry, (Y/n). I have to reason to be mad at you if you say you didn’t know, then I believe you.”

I smiled, “It’s okay Remus. Now, back to the topic at hand, Sirius, did you call me your girlfriend?”

Sirius’ face turned red and he started stuttering, “Um.. well, I-... yes. I’m sorry, I like you, but I know you like-” I shut him up by leaning up and kissing him, surprising him.

“You.”

“M-me?! But I thought you like M-”

“It’s always been you, Sirius,” I replied, quickly, trying to make him shut up, knowing that James had probably told him I liked Remus, “Okay! Back to the game,” I continued, as Sirius sat back down on the sofa, pulling me back on his lap, “Now you’ve got to stay there.” I blinked a few times and nodded, still slightly confused at what he meant, but Remus brought me back to reality, “Sirius, truth or dare?”

“Um, Dare.”

“Okay… Kiss (Y/n).”

I could see there was something inside Remus that didn’t want him to dare Sirius to kiss me, but I put it down to him still being slightly mad at me. I could feel Sirius shifting under me and he sat up properly, me still on his lap as he leaned over my shoulder, “(Y/n), you’re going to have to help me, here.” I giggled, thinking of something and turned around, straddling him and allowing him to kiss me as he placed his hands on my hips, keeping me where I was, slightly pressing me down, before giving me a pleading look, and that’s when I realised the second meaning to his statement of me needing to help him.

“Alright! I said kiss not make out! You don’t need to show off that you have a girlfriend, Sirius.”

I giggled at Remus’ attitude, knowing he was annoyed at being the only single one out of him and his friends as James had finally succeeded in getting Lily to go on a date with him and broke off from Sirius, “Actually, I’m getting tired, I’m going to head to bed.”

“(Y/n)! Don’t leave me,” Sirius pleaded and I leaned into his ear, “Then state that you want to cuddle with me and pull me up to your dorm, and I’ll help you with your… issue.” His face lit up and he nodded, as I leaned back.

“(Y/n), I want to cuddle. You know, like in a fluffy way. Come sleep with me!”

I giggled and nodded, “If you say so, Sirius.” before standing up, Sirius did the same as he quickly pulled me up to the dorm he shared with James and Remus, and I was soon pushed down on his bed, with Sirius nipping at my neck.

“(Y/n), are you sure this is okay? I don’t want to fuck up our relationship on the first day of us being together.”

“Merlin yes. Honestly, I’ve fantasised about you fucking me, Sirius. You’re so hot, and I understand why girls are always hanging off you.”

“Good,” he muttered before kissing me again.

----------------------------(No more steamy stuff)

“I’m sorry. We’re moving to France, Sirius. There’s nothing I can do about it. My parents are forcing me and they don’t care about the face that we’re dating, they’re forcing me to stop contacting you, and won’t even tell me where, so it’s not like I can tell you the address of our new house and then have you write to me first. Also, they’re taking Snowy away from me, well, in the sense that she’s not allowed in my room anymore, and only they have the key to her cage so I can’t write to you, and you know I’m not good with the muggle postal syste-”

“(Y/n), shh. You’re ranting.”

“Sorry. I just do that when I’m nervous or upset. I know my parents never approved of you but I would have thought they could have put their hatred for you aside for my happiness, but I guess not. Normally in this situation, I’d say I’ll keep in touch, but I can’t. Please don’t forget me.”

“I won’t. I love you so much, (Y/n). I will never forget you.”

--------------------------

A few years later, I had been sitting in the living room, reading a book when my mother came in, a letter in her hands, “(Y/n). You have muggle post.”

“Thank you,” I replied as she handed it to me. I smiled, recognising the handwriting on the envelope, how Remus knew our new address, I had no idea, but due to the fact that my parents had been friends with the Potters, I guessed she’d told them, who had then told James who had told Remus, but I put the thoughts to the back of my head and opened the letter;

“Dear (Y/n),

I never thought I’d be writing this letter, didn’t think I’d ever have to, but, James and Lily’s position was given away to Voldemort and they’re both dead. Harry managed to survive, somehow, but it’s worse because Sirius is the one who’s been blamed for it. He caused an explosion killing a load of muggles as well as Peter. All that was left of him was a finger. Sirius has now been locked up in Azkaban, and we’re having a funeral for James and Lily in a few weeks. Do let me know if your parents will let you attend.

Your Dearest friend,

Remus.”

I gasped, feeling the tears come to my eyes at reading it. I didn’t believe that Sirius would betray James and Lily and just let the tears fall.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?”

“Two of my best friends are dead. I wish we’d never come to France. That was Remus writing, he said they’re having a funeral for James and Lily in a few weeks.”

“If you want to go, I understand. I’ll look after Bella for you.”

“Really?”

My mother nodded, “Yes. I know they were your friends, and I shouldn’t have forced you to come here.”

“T-thank you.”

-------------------------

I cried, placing my head on Remus’ shoulder and crying into his shoulder. I soon felt him wrap his arms around me, rubbing softly at my back, trying to comfort me. After I came back to Britain for James and Lily’s funeral, my mother said that I could stay if I wanted to, which is what I wanted, and a few weeks later, my mother came over with Bella and more of my and Bella’s stuff. Due to my parents moving to France, they’d sold the family home, meaning I didn’t have anywhere to live, but I ended up moving in with Remus after he bonded so well with Bella, and despite him being nervous about hurting her when he transformed, he got along well with her, so much to the point where Bella believed he was her father.

“Mummy, why do I have to go away every month?” she asked one time when I was helping her pack her stuff up for a few nights.

“Do you not like getting to stay at Jen and Lottie’s house, Bella?” I replied, as I placed her toothbrush in her bag.

“No! I like staying with them, it’s fun, I just want to know why.”

Before I could answer, the doorbell rang and I breathed a sigh of relief as I ushered Bella downstairs, opening the door to reveal Jen, “Thank you. You came at the perfect time. Thank you so much. She was getting curious about why she had to leave the house every month.”

“Are you ever going to tell her?”

“Tell her what, Jen? I don’t know what you mean.”

“That Remus isn’t her father? Are you ever going to tell her that?”

“Oh… Well does it actually matter? It’s not like she’s going to get to meet her biological father. Don’t you dare tell her. Remus is the closet thing to a father Bella will have, and you know why.”

“I know, but I happen to have overheard your last conversation with Sirius before you moved to France, you made him promise not to forget you, but are you really doing to forget him?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Jen. Remus is just being a good friend.”

“That you happen to fancy,” she teased, giving me a small poke in the shoulder.

“Shut it, I don’t and you know that!”

“What I know is that you like him! You’ve been telling me that he’s bonded so well with Bella that she believes he’s her father, so make it happen! Tell Remus you like him and boom, step-father!”

“Wait… weren’t you the one telling me to not forget Sirius?” I questioned raising an eyebrow.

“Well… Oh look at that, there’s my favourite little bean!” Jen exclaimed and I turned around, seeing Bella walking down the stairs, “I forgot Mr Fluffykins!” She spoke, walking down the last few stairs carefully, “He’s so fluffy!” I giggled patting her head, “Are you ready to go now?” She nodded and I handed Jen her bag for the few nights, knowing Remus probably wouldn’t be able to leave his bed the day after the full moon and that I’d have to tend to his fresh scars, which I didn’t mind doing. Jen was right, I did love him. Once Jen had left with Bella I closed the door and sighed, but I was disturbed from my peace, “(Y/n)?” I looked up to see Remus standing in front of me, a questioning look on his face, “Did I head Jen correctly there? Do you like me?”

“This isn’t the right time to talk about it, Remus.”

“That’s a yes then. I know that when you’re faced with difficult questions, you try and avoid the question. You can tell me the truth.”

I sighed, “Fine, yes. I like you. Please don’t b-” I was cut off when he took my hand in his scarred one and pulled me closer. “Good,” he muttered before kissing me. I was completely caught off guard but soon melted into it, wrapping my arms around his neck. I had taken the chance to be happy, knowing that I wouldn’t see Sirius again and that Bella deserved to have a father in her life, and better it was someone she had a close bond with, and believed already was her father.

“I have loved you for so long, (Y/n). You don’t know how long. It hurt when I saw you and Sirius-”

“Rem, please don’t mention his name. What’s in the past is in the past.”

---------------------------

“You can’t keep her hidden forever, (Y/n).”

“She’s my daughter. Sirius has no right to see her. Where’s he been for the last sixteen years?”

“To be fair, he didn’t know she existed, (Y/n)! He was locked up in Azkaban for thirteen of them, and you weren’t allowed to contact him for the other three!”

“What are you talking about?”

I froze and turned around from the conversation I was having with Molly and Remus to see Bella standing in the doorway, a confused look on her face. I sighed and started to play with the ring on my finger, biting my lip, “I-It’s not important, Honey. Please just go back upstairs.”

“She has the right to know, (Y/n). Just tell her.”

“Tell me what?” Bella asked again, refusing to move, “Tell me, Mum. Is there something you’re hiding from me?”

I sighed again, “I’m sorry, Bella, but yes. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

Molly gave me a small smile and walked out, leaving me in the dining room with Bella and Remus, who placed a hand on my waist, “You’ve got this. She’ll still love you, don’t worry.”

“Right. Bella, I’m sorry, but I have been lying to you. The truth is-”

“I’m not your biological father, Bella,” Remus interjected, causing the sixteen-year-old to blink, “What? But who is then?”

“I’m interested too, (Y/n). Who is Bella’s father if it isn’t Moony?”

I sighed again, before turning to Bella, “Could you go upstairs for a few minutes, Bella? I’ll come and get you when it’s time to go.” She nodded and hugged me before walking off upstairs. I took a deep breath and turned my attention back to Sirius, “Who do you think? Who else would be her father for her to be seventeen? For her to be sixteen, she’d have to have been born in 1978, meaning…”

“She’s mine?”

“Yes, you’re her father, Sirius. Happened the night we first got together. Remember that Truth or Dare game?”

His face made an ‘oh’ shape and he nodded, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Sirius, drop it. It doesn’t matter now.”

“Why? How would you feel if your girlfriend didn’t tell you she was pregnant and you didn’t find out you have a child until they were seventeen?!” Sirius shouted at Remus, who just placed a hand around me comfortingly as I’d started to breathe heavily and was struggling to concentrate, “Sirius, for God's sake, be quiet. You’re stressing (Y/n), who might I add is my wife, out.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and he turned to me, “How could you? So you make me promise not to forget you and then you go and marry my best friend?!”

“Sirius, the circumstances were different! I didn’t know James and Lily were going to be killed and that you were going to be sent to Azkaban! Remus was there for me when you couldn’t be. Now if you don’t mind, I need to be alone for a while,” I replied going to walk towards the door, but I was pulled back and lips were planted on mine. When I realised it wasn’t Remus, I pushed away, “Sirius! Stop!”

“I know you still love me, (Y/n)!”

“Whether I do or not, does not give you the right to kiss me without permission! Especially when I am married now!”

“Oh come on! So all that time we spent together is now out of the window?”

“We were together for 5 months before I moved away, Sirius. I’ve been with Remus for almost as long as Bella’s been alive, speaking off, we should be off. I’ll go and get her,” I replied, kissing Remus quickly before walking out of the room and upstairs to find Bella.

-----------------------

“(Y/n), can you be truthful with me, please? Do you still love Sirius?”

I sighed and looked up at Remus, “Why?”

“Just answer the question, please. Do you still love him?”

“Rem, where’s this come from? I’ve told you before you are enough for me. I can deal with the werewolf thing.”

“Do you still love him!? Tell me.”

I gulped and took a deep breath before nodding, “Yes.”

“Then go to him.”

“Rem, don’t say that. Please. I love you!”

“You can’t love both of us, (Y/n)! I know you only married me for Bella’s sake.”

“I did not marry you for Bella’s sake, Rem. I love you. When we were in school, I had an incredibly hard time dealing with my feelings because my heart was telling me I was in love with both you and Sirius. It was you first and when I found out that you liked Jen, my heart also started to feel things for Sirius, but I still liked you, and I still love both of you.”

Remus’ eyes just widened as he tried to process what I’d said before he nodded, wrapping his arms around me, “Oh. Well, in that case, I should be honest with you. When we were in school, I had a small crush on Sirius too.”

This time it was my turn for my eyes to widen and I smiled, “Aww. Thank you for being honest with me, Remus.”

Before anything else could be said, there was a knock at the door. I detangled myself from Remus and walked to the door, being surprised when Sirius was the one standing there, “Hello.”

“Sirius? What brings you here?” I asked, letting him in. After he was inside, I closed the door and we walked into the living room, “Hey, Rem, look who turned up.”

I noticed Remus freeze up slightly, but he greeted Sirius nonetheless. Sirius then turned to me, “Oh yeah, I wanted to apologise for getting angry and defensive. It was not right for me to believe you still liked me after having seventeen years of no contact. I’m also sorry for kissing you without permission, especially when you’re married.”

I smiled something that surprised him, before hugging him, “Thank you for the apology, Sirius. Although, it doesn’t make the kiss ‘alright’, but I understand that you still love me… and honestly, I still love you too.” His eyes widened and he looked at Remus, fear written all over his face, but Remus just walked over and hugged him, causing a slight blush to take over both their faces, confirming my theory.

“Sirius, I’m going to ask you something, and you need to be 100% honest. Can you do that?”

He nodded and I could see he was nervous, wondering what I was going to ask. I smiled, “Have you ever had/do you have any form of romantic feelings towards Remus?”

Both their eyes widened and Sirius’ face turned bright red as he looked away from me, nodding slowly, “Y-yes.”

“Well, I have an idea. One that will make all of us happy. How would you two feel about a poly relationship?” They both looked at each other before turning to me and each of them kissing one of my cheeks, “That’s a brilliant idea.”

“I think so too.”

I smiled, “Great.”

---------------------------------

I smiled as the three of us stood on Platform 9¾ as the train came in. I stood in the middle of Remus and Sirius, both of them with an arm around my waist, as we waited for Bella to get off the train. She soon spotted us and ran over with her stuff, Harry following behind her. Once she got closer, Bella stopped, blinking at the situation in front of her, “Mum? What’s going on?” she asked, noticing Sirius’ hand wrapped around my waist.

“Right. I forgot to mention it in my last letter, but you’re going to have two fathers from now on.”

She just looked at me blankly, completely confused, “What?”

I giggled and ruffled her hair, “To put it simply. During the past few months, I realised I was still in love with your biological father, as well as your stepfather, and the three of us came to the conclusion we were all in love with each other, so we’re all dating each other. Do you mind that, Bella?”

Instead of her being mad, like I expected, she just smiled and hugged me, “I’m happy for you, Mum!”

I returned the smile and hug, “Glad to hear that, Bella.”

—--------------------------------END OF ONESHOT

So… this is over 4000 words…..

Hi I was wondering if you could do Ken sato x reader head cannons about how it was like the first couple of months him and reader dating please🤭. It could be like them trying to impress the other or getting comfortable with cuddling and holding hands. (Holding hands kinda scare me idk😭) Anyways I hope you are having a good day, evening or night💕.

masterlist

this is such a cute idea! getting into a relationship/situationship is always so nerve wrecking so i could see this :3

i tried incorporating your fear of holding hands so it felt more realistic - i hope your having a good day, evening, or night too!

kenji sato headcannons!

kenji would be all over the place

even though he comes off as charismatic and flirty, he’s so nervous when he’s near you

he’s tripping over himself whenever you look his way

he would honestly ask you out with those GIANT bouquets and would stutter the entire time

definitely see him falling down with the bouquet cause of how huge it is

when you give him a kiss on his cheek as a ‘thank you’, he breaks down and starts panicking from his love butterflies in his stomach

the first time kenji goes to hold your hand, you can’t help but get scared of it

he was so understanding, instead he decided to just play with your fingers to coerce you into being more comfortable

he always wants you to feel safe

your first date, you end up getting really overdress, you can’t help but panic thinking you went too crazy with you look when you hear the doorbell ring

you can’t help but giggle opening the door and seeing kenji standing their nervously with a tuxedo on… to your simple lunch date

the both of you end up laughing the entire day at your efforts to look good for one another

the second month, you both decided to cuddle for the first time - you were a mess as he held you in his arms, your heart pounded like crazy, it was too the point that you couldn’t watch the movie at all

on the other hand, kenji is a babbling mess when he holds you and is scared he’s hurting you with his grip

he goes to hold your hand while cuddling you, the both of you smiling like a pair of lovesick teens

on christmas, he goes crazy with its gifts… it’s a good thing you did too

it isn’t till it’s four or five months into dating, that kenji kisses you, he’s so gentle making you turn into a pile of goo

he just really wanted you to feel comfortable and didn’t want to rush any of your guy’s first times

satoru gojo - the misconception

a small drabble

—————————————————————————

when it comes to s. gojo, many people like to not only mischaracterize him, but also take words out of context from official media. no, satoru is not a cheater— nor would he be unfaithful. he just wouldn’t have time even for himself to enjoy an actual relationship, hints why he couldn’t be tie down.

but if he could, oh he would.

this is the same man who yearned for his best friend who he only ever had in his high school years. Barely even two years, and managed to try and follow behind the one and only person he ever felt a real, raw connection towards to.

he wouldn’t need to be pampered financially. If anything, he wanted to be showered in affection. He was weak for your kisses, how delicate and soft your lips usually were, how the two of you cuddled up together and the amount of attention you give him. Even if it was barely a minute.

he would be hopelessly devoted to you. He could give you his own beating heart to you if he could. Even the strongest could be weak. He would kiss the feet you walk on, not physically— or maybe. Satoru cares too much. Even if he never shows it, he find himself loving more than he should. And even with his doubts and his own fears of committing as well as loving, he will still find himself loving you. even if he forced himself to try and tell himself he was better off alone.

—————————————————————————

a small lil note on gojo thoughts lololol . tired of the cheating scenarios of my king who would probably yearn even in the next lifetime

𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 - 𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘂 𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼

sypnosis. your dreams with Satoru coming to an end after the 'shinjuku showdown' fight aftermath.

contents. hurt/no comfort, canon-typical violence, blood, major character death, emotional distress, angst, fiancé!gojo.

word count. 1k

—————————————————————————

Life had a way for screwing him over.

When Satoru Gojo thought about death, he brushed it off. The strongest can’t die, he used to say. Almost thinking it as some sort of joke or an insult towards him. He believed—deep down—that he’d be the one sorcerer to walk away without regrets. Or at least, that he’d be exempt from them.

But after the fight with Sukuna in Shinjuku on December 24th, 2018?

He realized just how wrong he was.

Even after declaring victory, he didn’t quite expect Sukuna to stop right there and then. One second of letting his guard down was all it took. One second to cost him everything.

There’s so much blood. The metallic scent hangs heavy in the air as Satoru lies on the ground he once fought beneath—his body in two halves, cleaved straight through his Infinity. He’s barely conscious now, slipping in and out. Something he never thought would happen. Not to him.

Everything hurts. God, he forgot just how bad this felt ever since his fight with Toji Fushiguro. His one and only slip up, he thought. It was almost like deja vu for the man. But not hurting as much as seeing you cry.

When he hears your voice tremble—*“I just got you back”—*something in him became aware of something he hadn’t realize yet. All this time, putting work above, rushing for the thrill of not only fighting but his goals as well made him realize it wasn’t just him being affected, but everyone else who admired him.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out, voice raw and fragile. Even speaking hurts.

Years.

Months of finally having peace. Of holding your hand without fear. Of knowing you were his, and he was yours. Of talking about wedding venues and late-night takeout. And now—just like that—it was all crumbling.

You told yourself you wouldn’t cry. No. You shouldn’t cry.

He was going to make it.

He had to.

But the more blood you saw, the more you saw his eyes flutter closed, the more that belief began to feel like a fantasy.

You had just gotten him back.

You were just about to get married.

You were finally building the life you dreamed of.

You shook your head, rejecting his apology. “It’s okay. Really, it’s okay…” you whispered, your voice nearly breaking. You stood at his side, frozen. Paralyzed. You didn’t care who was watching—his students, Shoko—it didn’t matter. You were more vulnerable than ever, and all you could see was him.

Then he asked if you were mad at him. Even now, even like this, he was worried about your feelings. About where you stood. About hurting you. “No… no, don’t say that…” you mumbled, finally stepping forward to take his hand. Your outfit was soaked in blood—his blood. Your eyes were red, your face flushed. You looked like a mess, but none of it mattered.

You wanted everyone to see what had been done to him.

To feel even a fraction of what you and Satoru felt.

His eyes drooped again, and panic set in. Was time running out already? “I’m not mad. I’ll never be mad,” you sniffled. Your voice cracked again. Even through every fight, every harsh word, your devotion never wavered. Satoru managed a weak smile, relief softening his battered face. Pain rippled through him as he leaned into your touch. His eyes fluttered closed, and a shallow, rattling breath escaped him. Speaking was getting harder.

When his gaze met yours again, it faltered. You were covered in his blood. You looked completely broken. “You don’t… have to see me like this…” he whispered. The words were barely air. But you couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I love you.”

It was time.

Those words had waited too long. Always there, always understood—but never said. They weren’t casual words. Not for you. They carried weight. Meaning.

Real. Serious.

That’s why he looked so shocked.

“I love you, Satoru Gojo,” you said again, firmer this time. Your voice wavered, but it was clear.

If he wasn't in his current state, he would've probably taken that statement as a joke to deflect the tension between them. But Satoru couldn't deny the sincerity of your words, and the emotion behind them made his heart ache. For the first time in a long time, he felt vulnerable, even if he was close to death.

He squeezed your hand—weakly, but with intent. His lips parted, trying to reply, but his throat clenched. No words came.

You didn’t need them. Not really.

“I will always love you,” you whispered.

You wanted to hear it back—just once. But you didn’t ask. You wouldn’t put that weight on him. Not now.

Leaning down, you kissed him.

A soft kiss. Gentle. Barely there.

It felt like your first kiss—right outside Jujutsu High. The day when you two finally became teachers, you two also confessed to one another. The sun had been warm, and despite being adults, you’d giggled like kids.

You pulled away, lips stained in his blood, and studied his face. Your love had always been complicated. Messy. Raw. But he never doubted you. You never doubted him.

Unspoken, but always understood.

You were already thinking back.

Your first mission.

Your first kiss.

Your first time.

Your first date.

Your first everything.

You remembered the quiet talks about a future. About family. About souvenirs from the missions he will have outside of the country as a makeup. Sharing strawberry cake after midnight when you two had cravings. Making Kikufuku—his favorite—and making a disaster of your kitchen.

And then came the regret.

Not the big things.

The little ones.

Regretting the times you scolded him over trivial things.

Regretting not buying that stupid cake he nagged you about all day.

Regretting the times you said, “Not today,” when he wanted to hang out.

Regretting not savoring every single second—even though you thought you had. Because it’s always the littlest things that stay with you when you’re losing someone. The things you thought you’d always have. But you weren’t the only one with regrets.

His?

He didn’t do enough.

He worries—despite all his strength—that nothing truly changed. That the higher-ups will keep failing the next generation. That more students will die too soon. That the cycle will never end.

He should’ve done more.

He could’ve done more.

He didn’t even want to believe he was really here, bleeding out and thinking about his regrets. He wanted to laugh at himself for even thinking that way, but he couldn’t run away from it. Not anymore.

He was getting weaker. Silently he was telling himself this was really it. Fighting the urge to stay awake, his time was coming to an end. Even with death, he hadn’t felt this peaceful since the day he was born. Being the only time in his life that he was ever at peace.

The last thing Satoru feels before he closes his eyes is your kiss. And despite the pain, despite the blood and the agony— that moment where his body become unfamiliar to the feeling of comfort and relaxation—

He savors it.

He savors you.

—————————————————————————

note. this is my first time publishing on tumblr! i’ve been using my notes app as a journal and thought a small wip could be shared :). thank u xo

These always hit smmmmm

“english isn’t my first langua—“ say no more.

Name || To drink wine under the stars

Pairing || Modern!Din Djarin X NB!Reader

Summary || A date Din and you planned takes a turn before taking another

Word Count || 1.334

Tags/Warnings || Idiots in love, Angst with a happy ending, No Use of Y/N, Modern!AU, Feelings!, Unestablished Relationships, Insecurities, Grogu Mentioned, Din is low-key (very much) a simp, Probably OOC Din, A bit of a rushed ending, No Beta We Die Like Men

A/N || I present a small piece of fiction made for Bouquets of Pedro Creativity Challenge by @happypedrohours

Based on this prompt: Din Djarin & late for a date

English is not my first language

If you find any grammar or spelling mistakes, let me know so I can fix them

Masterlist

Star Wars Masterlist (Not finished yet)

It's been such a long time since he's been to a place such as this. The restaurant was luxurious, maybe a bit too much in his opinion. The staff, the food, the decorations, it all screamed expensiveness.

His suit was probably even worse. It felt tight, unnatural. He wasn't used to wearing clothes other than completely regular. The best he could usually do was a white shirt with some pants, that was it. After all, why would he need anything else?

You. It was you. You were the reason he needed something else. You didn't force him, per se. He did it voluntarily. Grogu was still small and didn't care about how he looked but you? He wanted you to see him.

You were so special to him. Kind, funny, engaging, drop dead gorgeous. In the darkness that was his life, you were the moon illuminating his path. Guiding his way home.

Home to you.

At first, it surprised him when you agreed to the date. If he didn't know you, he would think it was a joke. A cruel mockery of how he, of all people, could think he had any chances with someone so divine. You meant it however. The smile on your face, the sparkle in your eye, it all proved your words.

Sitting at the table reserved for the two of you, he both loved and regretted he asked in the first place. What if you didn't like it there? What if he made a fool of himself? So many things could go wrong and wouldn't be able to stop any of them if it came down to it.

Knowing you though? You wouldn't care less about things that trivial. His mind flickered back to the memory of you.

You.

Sweet you.

The way you held his hand when he'd asked you out because it trembled so much. The way you listened so intently to what people had to say even when you felt unheard. The way you cared for Grogu as if he were your own and not your coworker's son.

Yeah, you'd understand.

Check the time.

Check the time.

Why weren't you there yet?

You were supposed to arrive at 7 PM. He arrived earlier of course. He didn't want you to wait in case he arrived later. And suddenly, he was the one waiting. It's been, what, 10, maybe 15 minutes?

Probably traffic, he told himself. He knew how it was these days. Everyone always rushed, as if unable to take a break. You were most likely in a taxi, trapped in a traffic jam.

Everything was fine.

It's been 30 minutes now. Where were you? It was getting frustrating. Especially when waiters came and went, always asking questions about his order. He wouldn't order. Not until you arrived.

He tapped the table, eyes fixated on the candle in the middle. The fire was so bright and yet, it couldn't compare to your smile. He'd kill to see it at least once. Just for a second, not even that. Even if it wasn't directed at him, even though he'd prefer if it were.

But no.

You weren't there.

He sent you so many messages, called a few times, all worried for your possible safety. What if you were in a car accident? Were you walking and someone decided to attack you? Did you hit your head when leaving your home? The possibilities were endless, every new one worse than the last.

He didn't seem to notice when an hour passed. Nor the second. He wouldn't dare look at the time, his attention constantly shifting between the building’s entrance and your completely untouched seat.

A sigh slipped past his lips when he finally forced himself to do so. It'd been over 2 hours. He couldn't wait any longer. He promised Grogu he wouldn't take too long, the kid needed him after all.

He hated it. The pitiful look the waitress gave him as he paid for the unexpectedly expensive wine he ordered, taking the unfinished bottle with him.

The February air chilled him more than he'd like, his hands freezing from the coldness of the bottle in his hand.

All the while, his mind struggled to come up with a reason for your absence. Maybe you were actually hurt? That was the only explanation that didn't make him question your lack of messages.

Or maybe you simply didn't like him and didn't know how to voice it.

Honestly, he wouldn't blame you. He didn't consider himself particularly likeable either. Messy, awkward, rugged and always tired. Why would you desire that?

The thought stung.

Was he really so bad that you, the kindest creature he'd ever met, couldn't accept him?

It was probably for the better.

“Din! Din wait!”

That voice. The voice so angelic that a part of his soul left his body any time he heard it suddenly called his name.

Turning his head towards where it came from, there you were. You weren't waving at him as you attempted to run, breathless with reddened cheeks from the cold.

You were a mess too to be honest. Dishevelled hair, slightly messy fancy clothes as if you barely managed to put it on properly along with loud gasps for air.

To him, you looked like a deity either way.

“I'm so, so sorry. I-I was tired from work and took a quick nap a-and I overslept the alarm and when I woke up it was already late,”

you rambled on and on about how sorry and ashamed you were for leaving him in the restaurant all alone, especially considering how expensive the reservation was. He didn't utter a word throughout the whole speech.

He didn't care if you noticed his silence. Or the tiny smile on his lips. Or the softness in his eyes. He was simply glad to see you, his day suddenly brighter than before.

And then, you fell silent. Your eyes stared up at him, searching for any sign of anger, of disappointment. There was none. Just pure unfiltered adoration.

“Don't worry. I'm just glad nothing bad happened to you,”

his words made your eyes widened, those twinkling in the soft light of city lamps. How beautiful, he thought. Then again, he thought that about every single thing you did.

His sharp gaze detected how the tension in you shoulders fell, a small sigh of relief escaping into the chilly weather.

“Could I make it up to you in some way?”

you were so kind. So desperate to make sure he wasn't disappointed, to make sure you kept your promise of joining him on a date that night.

He didn't need any persuasion.

Grogu was already dreaming away in his bed when Din joined you in the backyard of his home. You didn't notice him at first, making it the perfect opportunity to admire you.

There you were. In his garden. You were silent, staring up at the moon which felt like a shiny trinket compared to you. The soft smile on your lips as you snuggled into the blanket he lent you made his heart skipped a beat. A silent wish passed through his mind, a prayer of stopping the time so that he could worship you in his mind for eternity and more.

“There you are, I was getting worried,”

you smiled as you noticed his presence. He didn't reply as he sat down next to you, stealing part of the blanket and snuggling closer to you. You offered the wine but his mind was only on the brief brush of your hand against his. It all made his head spin.

When you rested your head on his shoulder though? He was afraid he'd faint. Or maybe cry.

You chose him. Nothing could convince him otherwise. And even if you didn't, he wouldn't mind.

He didn't need much to be happy after all. Even if it didn't last long, all he needed was to drink wine under the stars, right by your side.

Disclaimer:

I do not own The Mandalorian or any of its characters. The Mandalorian is the property of Jon Favreau and Disney. This fanfiction is written purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended for profit. Please support the original work!

born to write angsty squid game fanfics, forced to procrastinate

Name || Write my name like a poem

Pairing || Jackson!Joel Miller x NB!Reader

Summary || Thanks to your favourite student, you might just find out the one whose heart you've been guarding

Word Count || 3k

Tags/Warnings || Idiots in love, Fluff, Joel is probably a bit OOC, Feelings!, Joel is a pookie, Ellie was adopted by Joel, Acquaintances to Lovers, Flustered Joel, Hinting at Sub!Joel, Age Gap, Insecurities, Unestablished Relationship, Joel struggles with confessions, No Beta We Die Like Men

English is not my first language

If you find any grammar or spelling mistakes, let me know so that I can fix them

Masterlist

Advent Calendar 2024 Masterlist

“Have a good day; and Merry Christmas!” called back at you the children as well as their parents as they left your class. It filled your heart with joy to see them so excited for Christmas. You already got used to it after the past three years you had spent in Jackson. Nonetheless, it still somehow felt unreal.

You saw the world fall, being just a child back then. Despite your young age at the time, you remembered it all. How life had been before the Infected took over. After surviving for years and years on end, dreaming about a dead future of your childhood self, living a somehow normal life in Jackson seemed almost laughable.

These kids, they weren't of how much they had missed simply by being born too late. They would never dream of the world you and the other people from the world before knew. Even though you acknowledged it every single day, you tried. You tried to teach them, showing them the wonders you remembered. You wanted them to see. To let them know there was a future once and that there might be one again, even if slightly different.

Being a school teacher in Jackson made it easier. Otherwise, you would probably be the talk of the town. The lunatic who couldn't stop thinking about the past. Of course you could. Letting go was simply…. hard from time to time.

Teaching on the other hand gave you the space to express yourself. To shift the kids’ minds towards something bigger. Greater than they realised. It was a power which shouldn't be held by one person alone and you knew it. However, you never acted upon it. Those children were the world's future. Your legacy. You couldn't ruin it for selfish wants, no matter how justified they might be.

Because of your kindness, the kids loved you. Adored you. Their favourite teacher? You, without debate. Their English, history and arts teacher. Unlike their other teachers, you were much more understanding. Or maybe you had that parental instinct your colleagues lacked, you weren't sure. Either way, you were their number one.

Honestly, even Ellie liked you a bit more. Ellie. Ellie Miller. Your newest student. She was a bit older but learning never hurt anyone. Especially since they hadn't been taught everything they should. You had to admit, she could be hard to deal with at times. She wasn't stupid or anything, quite the opposite. She was highly intelligent, skilled and competent, too. She was simply her own person. Then again, so was her father.

Her father, Joel, wasn't as familiar to you. Yes, you knew each other and talked when given the chance but had you actually properly hung out with him. You were both busy, mostly seeing each other at parent-teacher meetings. After all, you had students to look after while he gathered supplies for the settlement.

Honestly, when you first met him when he and Ellie arrived a few months ago, you assumed he would be, to put it lightly, an asshole. Surprisingly, he wasn't. He was actually kind of charming. Sweet, caring personality hidden underneath a rugged, reserved persona.

You had seen through it though; on many occasions. The way he talked to Ellie, how he helped out with the kids when you were losing control and he was around. How he knew exactly what to do when it came to the smallest of your pupils. Truth to be told, it made your heart flutter a tiny bit.

You heard enough rumours to know a few pieces of information about him. It was fairly obvious Ellie wasn't his, at least not biologically. You had assumed he took care of children of some of his friends, back in Boston QZ. When rumors of him losing his daughter rolled around, it suddenly made sense. Of course, no-one ever voiced it, but a few people still knew, maybe 10 people at best. Those were the closest to the family anyway and knew they shouldn't spread such things around. You didn't either.

You pitied him but at least he had Ellie now. The girl was truly something and she matched him perfectly. The change from once they had arrived and after those few months of staying in Jackson was palpable. At first slightly detached, they now couldn't handle being gone, away from each other. They were each other's way to heal from the scars and pain of their lives prior to living in Jackson.

As you cleaned your desk, vibrating with excitement at the thought of settling in front of your fireplace with cocoa in your lap, a soft knock came to your door. Turning around to see the newcomer, there stood Ellie. You swore the kid was getting bigger every day. She most likely was; now almost as tall as you. She gave you a smile as she came closer, seemingly beaming.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to give you something,” she spoke quickly, barely giving you time to greet her back. She opened her backpack, it being filled with all sorts of stuff, before taking out a card. She handed you the blue holiday card, a shrug following her words.

“Sorry if it's wet. Those assholes from lower years thought it would be funny to throw snowballs at me.” she scoffed. You on the other hand shot her a quick look to remind her to mind her language. That is if she even noticed it. Then again, the holidays were officially on and that meant you weren't their teacher anymore. You were simply another anonymous part of the community. If kids had foul language, their parents had to deal with it. You were having a break after all. Maybe the lack of reprimands considering Ellie's language outside of class were why she liked you so much. You were never quite sure.

“Thank you Ellie, it means a lot,” you dipped your head as a thanks, a genuine smile placed upon your face. You weren't lying, it did mean a lot. Even though many kids and their families adored you, there were just a few who actually ever gave you something outside of the end of the school year. It was nice knowing that some of them thought about her during the holidays. It meant a bit more now, since Ellie was the only one who actually gave her something other than wishes of health and joy.

“You're welcome. I gotta go, we're supposed to pick a tree today and Joel's gonna be grouchy if I come late. Merry Christmas!” she said quickly, giving you a small wave. With that, she disappeared out of the door. Once again, you didn't even have time to wish her a merry Christmas. She was so uncatchable at times.

Turning your attention back to the cleaning, you finished as soon as possible. Your mind was all over as you walked home. The town was already feeling festive but you had better plans. Your absence would probably not be noticed anyway. Coming to your lonely home at the edge of the commune, you cleaned up a bit more. Even if you didn't have many festive things around at your disposal, you could at least try to make your home pretty.

Later into the day, the sun slowly nearing the horizon, you finally sat in your armchair by the fireplace. Sipping on your hot cocoa with a marshmallow or two swimming at its surface, you simply relaxed underneath a blanket. You were reading one of the books you had borrowed from the town’s library, it being written by Erich Maria Remarque, as your mind shifted to the card Ellie gave you earlier. Honestly, your eyes only ran over it back then and now you were getting curious.

Putting the things in your hands aside at a nearby coffee table, you move towards your bag. Searching through it for a bit, your hands came into contact with materials, pens, important documents and whatever you actually had in there, some of those things long since forgotten. Finally, your finger flickered against the card. You took it out without any further delay, immediately starting to read.

It was the typical mindless text which had always been on cards such as this. Still, it was the thought that counted. Gaze flickering over the names of Ellie, Joel, Tommy and Maria, your attention was brought back upon Joel's name. That handwriting. You saw it somewhere before. Not on any documents, no, it was familiar from somewhere else. A sudden thought  to you, making you freeze for a second in your spot. Next thing you knew, you were running up the stairs to your bedroom.

You immediately headed for your desk, opening its drawer without hesitation. Searching through its contents, you quickly found the thing you had been looking for amongst the amounts of paper and office supplies. There, in your hands, was a thick envelope, filled to the brim with letters. Taking one of them out, your eyes widened.

For weeks, you had been getting letters. Not threats though. Poems, it almost seemed. Declarations of love and devotion, the sender never signing their name. Now, seeing the letters right next to the holiday card, you were left speechless. It was Joel's handwriting. To be completely honest, the letters sometimes sounded corny enough to be from no-one but him. Still, you appreciated the gesture. Who could say they got love letters in the first place?

“Focus, focus right now,” you told yourself. Shaking your head to at least somehow clear it, you tried to gather your thoughts. Joel Miller. Joel, the guy you had never even hung out with without it being a social event had been sending you love letters for weeks. Would you ever find out if Ellie didn't give you that card? Did she know? Was it on purpose? Was she playing matchmaker? Was it all just a joke? You weren't sure. However, you definitely knew you needed to speak to Joel.

You were ready to go when it suddenly started seeming like a bad idea. Would he start ignoring you? Would he deny it? What if you were wrong and they weren't from him? What if what if… All sorts of thoughts were running through your head as you paced around your living room, flames in the hearth making your shadow dance on the walls. Eventually, you decided what to do. You would wait until the tree in the town's square was lit before making a move.

The weight of your plan was getting more suffocating with every passing minute. The insecurities and uncertainty swirled in your chest like snowflakes in the air, pressing down on you. You shouldn't had slept until 3 PM. Yes, you had less time to stress but it suddenly seemed so near. The dark came quickly and the gathering happened even quicker.

You stood in the back of the crowd, not too far from where Joel along with Ellie and his brother with his wife stood. The lump in your throat wouldn't go away, no matter how many times you swallowed. What was happening to you? You were an adult, a teacher, an apocalypse survivor, and you were still terrified to talk to a guy about some letters that he most likely already knew about? It was almost shameful.

Your eyes didn't stray far even after from him even as the biggest tree in town had been lit, it somehow grounding you with its light. It was a beacon of hope for many in the community and yet, you could only focus on how it made Joel's eyes sparkle. You had noticed it before, his eyes. You refused to acknowledge how easily you could get lost in them. How he selfishly stole every single thought from your head, words from your tongue and breath from your lungs with no more than one look.

For just a second, you let yourself get lost. It had been so long since your mind went silent, simply swimming along your heart's surface. You should had been more careful but as your heartbeat got less and less steady, the soft hum in your ears soothed any worries you had. You didn't even register Joel's eyes meeting yours. Neither did you really pay attention when he completely disappeared from your view, only to appear by your side.

“You okay? You looked as if you were putting a curse on me,” he jested, dark eyes fixed on the tree in front of the two of you. His gaze flickered to you for a second from the corner of his eye, watching your reaction. You had already looked away, joining the other townsfolk in watching the beauty of the tree. Joel's mind was elsewhere however.

Joel wouldn't admit out loud but he somewhat wished you hadn't looked away. He wished to see the way you looked at him when you talked to him. It was the way you looked at most of your friends and yet, it was somehow different. Or maybe, his mind was just making him too hopeful.

“Oh, sorry. I got lost in thought,” your attention flickered to the cup of tea in your gloves-clad hands. You felt Joel's eyes on you, gaze intense as he watched you. You didn't know why he was so fascinated by you at that moment and it made you shift in your spot.

“What, do I have something on my face?” a tilt of your head and you were staring at him again. Why did you look like that? That look in your eyes, how the air made your cheeks and nose rosy, a snowflake on two stuck on your eyelashes. You looked so cozy despite the weather, snuggled up in your warm winter coat.

“No, of course not,” answered Joel, casting his gaze elsewhere. He prayed the cold was enough to make you believe he was redder from that and not you. After all, he was capable of unwitnessed violence but you were the line of what he could handle? Even he had a hard time believing it.

“Alright then,” you hummed before blowing onto your drink. Taking a small sip, the two of you settled into a comfortable silence. Everyone else around you was unaware of the tension brewing between you. To them, it came across as two acquaintances sharing a quiet moment.

“Thank you for the card,” you mumbled suddenly, catching him off guard, “I appreciate it.”

The smile you sent him mirrored in his own expression as he recalled the holiday card Ellie forced him to sign the morning before. He hadn't been aware it was for you but, seeing your smile, he didn't consider anyone a better receiver than you.

“Don't mention it. Besides, it was Ellie's idea,” Joel shrugged, pulling his jacket a bit more over himself to get warmer. Everything else was freezing compared to the heat in his face. The need to escape, to swim up and get out of the ocean of unsaid emotions you posed was a bit too much. And yet, he would drown if you asked him to.

A smile tugged on your lips, a tiny flickered of amusement flickering through your expression. Glancing down to his jaw, you watched the way he thickly swallowed. Were you making him uncomfortable? Maybe he knew about the topic you needed to discuss. Taking a shaky breath, you took in your shoes, covered in a white blanket.

“The letters weren't written by Ellie though, were they?” the sound of your voice, your words, they made Joel tense up. The man stood there like an icicle, mind slowly processing what you just told him. You knew. He had hoped you wouldn't find out, not until he was ready to come forward himself. What coward hid behind unsigned letters? Joel Miller, apparently.

“No, they weren't,” shaking his head, he once again surveyed your face, searching for at least something to catch on to assess your opinion. For the first time since he started talking to you, your eyes met. His brown ones stared into yours while a lump formed in his throat. You gave him a look you hadn't given anyone else and it was reserved for him and him only. He was hooked.

“Should I... stop? Sending them, I mean,” the sound of his voice made you chuckle. He seemed embarrassed, desperate to assess your mood. It made you smile to know how easily such a ruthless man could get flustered. The uncertainty was basically flowing out of him. With a smile, you shook your head.

“No, it's okay. I actually kinda like it,” at your words, Joel's expression softened to the point where he reminded you of a puppy. Those huge brown orbs, staring at you as if you were an otherworldly being. He nodded, immediately listening to your words. He would send as many letters as you wished if that's what it took.

“Can I get you a coffee?” he blurted out without hesitation. A sudden fear penetrated his mind; what if he was too rash? Was he trying too hard? He was worried, quite a lot. Joel wanted anything but to blow it. However, a tiny voice inside told him you would accept. And, indeed, you gave him a nod, your smile somehow even widening.

“Sure, I'd like that,” you nodded, a warm feeling running through you. You weren't of that but you both felt butterflies fluttering inside you. How could they not? You liked him and Joel, well, Joel voiced his thoughts in his letters. He let out a sigh of relief, a lopsided grin spreading on his face. For just a moment, he let himself enjoy the feeling of your acceptance. Composing himself once more, Joel cleared his throat.

“Alright. I'll uh, pick you up tomorrow at 8?” a call from Tommy slightly interrupted the moment of vulnerability between the two of you, but Joel didn't seem to even notice. He glanced Tommy's way but his attention remained on you nonetheless. His mind was filled with you for the time being, the only person he truly cared about outside of his little family.

You managed to agree to his proposal before he was pulled away from you by Ellie, the girl forcing him to come along with her back to their original spot. Waving him goodbye, your smile still lingering. Maybe those holidays wouldn't be so lonely after all?

Welcome!

Since December has just begun and I finally started writing fanfics again, I decided to spread some holiday cheer and write my own Advent Calendar, starting on December 1 and ending on December 25 2024.

Due to my hyperfixation on TLOU for the past few weeks, I've prepared 25 fanfics centered around Joel Miller.

I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

MDNI for certain days!

I do not know which warnings will be needed for individual fanfics so check each one just to be sure!

Days:

Day 1 - Frost (Explicit)

Day 2 - Card

Day 3 - Christmas Tree (Being edited)

Day 4 - Bells (Being edited)

Day 5 - Candle (Being edited)

Day 6 - Star (Being edited)

Day 7 - Fireplace (Being edited)

Day 8 - Gingerbread (Being edited)

Day 9 - Reindeer (Being edited)

Day 10 - Wreath (Being edited)

Day 11 - Mistletoe (Being edited)

Day 12 - Eggnog (Being edited)

Day 13 - Snowman (Being edited)

Day 14 - Bow (Being edited)

Day 15 - Hot Chocolate (Being edited)

Day 16 - Shopping (Being edited)

Day 17 - Stocking (Being edited)

Day 18 - Sweater (Being edited)

Day 19 - Wishlist (Being edited)

Day 20 - Gift (Being edited)

Day 21 - Manger (Being edited)

Day 22 - Ice Skating (Being edited)

Day 23 - Snowflake (Being edited)

Day 24 - Mittens (Being edited)

Day 25 - Carol (Being edited)

Disclaimer:

I do not own The Last Of Us or any of its characters. The Last Of Us is the property of Naughty Dog and Sony Interactive Entertainment. This fanfiction is written purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended for profit. Please support the original work!

Name || Advent Calendar 2024 - Day 1 - Frost

Pairing || Post-Outbreak!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary || As winter rolls around, it brings freezing weather in which Joel finds a way to warm you up

Word Count || 2.8k

Tags/Warnings || 18+, MDNI, Explicit Language, Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff Hypothermia mentioned, P in V, Fingering, Unsafe Sex, Outdoor Sex, Established Relationship, Daddy Kink, No Use of Y/N, Age Difference, Size Kink, Creampie, No Beta We Die Like Men, Ellie doesn't exist, Joel is probably a bit OOC

English is not my first language

If you find any grammar or spelling mistakes, let me know so I can fix them

Masterlist

Advent Calendar 2024 Masterlist

The weather was getting colder and colder every single day. Warmer autumn days gave space to harsh winter storms, the nights getting darker. With darkness also came freeze. It was much easier to get sick nowadays and with the lack of medication at their disposal, how can you stay at peace?

On many occasions, you got sick. Both Joel and you, his travelling partner. Lucky for the two of you, it was mostly just a runny nose, sometimes even cough. Still, the thought lingered. What if one of you got severely sick? Hurt? Lost and hurt? There were so many things to worry about.

Joel was getting paranoid once November rolled around. For a good reason, too. After being raided not too long ago, you were left with barely anything to get by with. Food? You could hunt something down. Clothes? The ones you had had to suffice. Medicine? None. Weapons? Two guns and a knife would have to do. It was much harder to survive out there in winter after all, much less find supplies.

Not to mention the Infected. With 20 meters of snow underneath your feet, how could you possibly escape hordes of fungi-covered monsters when you were struggling even without them? They could hear much better as well. Cold air would make each snap of a twig travel so much further than it had when you escaped Boston QZ.

It scared you both. Scared him. Joel was afraid to lose you. He wouldn't handle it after so much death following him around. Especially since it was just a few months since Tess’s death. Even though he wouldn't say it out loud, her sacrifice hurt him more than he'd care to admit. She had been his friend, partner, friend, how could he just forget?

Well, he had you and he wouldn't give that up. He grumbled and complained at first but, now, after so much time, he couldn't find himself to say goodbye. He probably wouldn't do so even once you finally got to Tommy. You were too precious to him.

Another thing was the slowly blooming relationship between the two of you. You were both so used to being alone that just a sliver of attention got you hooked. He lost too many people and the thought of having someone by his side? A flickering wish, now burning bright thanks to your presence.

And you, you who grew up as a future FEDRA soldier. Being all alone in this world, knowing nothing but the cold walls of the school and training, it felt like a miracle to be free, with someone that cared without wanting nothing in return.

You worried too. Winter was quickly approaching and so was the cold. From how quickly nature started changing, you could already tell the coldest time of the year wouldn't go easy on you. It got even worse than you predicted though.

At first, it was just a bit cold. Then came the freezing. Snow was coming much sooner than expected and you were running out of the time to get supplies. You didn't have enough to go through the winter. Your sleeping bags were barely fit for such weather and so were the other clothes.

Joel searched through stores, homes now long abandoned and even vehicles for at least a piece of clothing that would keep you warm. He would like to stay warm as well but he would handle the cold if it meant you were safe and sound. However, it was as if the entire world had burned all winter clothes before the spread of the infection.

Having nothing to warm yourselves with other than the fire, Joel refused to let you be on your own at night. Every time the two of you went to sleep, he would lay down as close as possible, arms wrapped around each other. For body warmth, he'd say. Still, you sometimes felt his length poke your lower back; even if neither of you mentioned it.

In the middle of December, the cold got too much to bear. Even snuggling up to each other at night didn't help most of the time. It bothered Joel. Especially since he started noticing the signs of sickness in you. The lack of warmth and food and excess of stress weren't doing either of you any good. Especially you. You had always been more sensitive to the weather changes and he knew it.

On one of the harsher nights, as the two of you spent the night hidden in a cave somewhere far from civilization, he watched you with keen eyes. It worried him, your state. You were exhausted, stressed, hungry. Your eyes simply watched as he prepared dinner above a fire, barely blinking in fear the meat would disappear.

“You should rest,” Joel mumbled suddenly, eyeing your expression. His deep voice almost made you fall asleep right then but you knew he wouldn't want that. At least without eating dinner first. Even though he wanted you to rest, he didn't dare leave you unconscious without having his arms wrapped around you. It was too much of a risk in his opinion.

He wondered about either of you getting hypothermia too many times and immediately shrugged it off each one. How would he even handle that? Losing you to something like that? Considering their predicament, you both knew you wouldn't be able to save the other one in case something happened. It was mostly why you had been so careful up until then.

“I'm not tired,” you whispered back with a shrug, shifting in your spot a bit to get at least a tiny bit of warmth in. Your eyes closely followed Joel's much bigger hands as they poured the soup-like substance into a bowl before handing it to you. With a muttered ‘Thanks’, you dug into the food without hesitation.

“I'm just cold. But I suppose you already knew that,” you breathed out, the words leaving your trembling lips as a breath vapor. Joel watched as the steam travelled further up before becoming one and the same with the air, its temperatures dropping significantly in a matter of seconds.

With a silent nod, Joel settled for simply watching as you ate, his own dinner sitting abandoned in his lap. He couldn't care less about eating at the moment. Of course, he appreciated all the food you had at your disposal but on that particular night, his mind was elsewhere.

Despite struggling to survive, he couldn't help but think about how nice you looked, all cuddled up in your warmest clothes, your sleeping bag pooling in your lap. Of course you were cold despite having so many things to keep you warm, it was probably the most freezing night yet since winter started. But he didn't voice his thoughts. They would be practically pointless at the moment.

The silence stretched on even as you finished eating. The flame of the fire continued to burn, warming up the bare minimum of its surroundings. From what you felt, it wasn't practically there. Just like Joel's warmth pressing against your back underneath your sleeping bags, it seemed nonexistent compared to the frost coming from outside your hideout.

“Still cold?” whispered Joel, his breath hitting the nape of your neck like ember. It sent shivers down your spine, goosebumps spreading over your body in the way the Cordyceps spread underneath the world's surface.

You hummed in agreement, a soft exhale escaping through your nose before inhaling once more. The action made you huff, the icy air violently pinching your nose from the inside. Taking a deep breath, your lips quickly turned stiff, lacking warmth. You felt Joel grumble underneath his breath, his chest pressing further against your back. It didn't help much but it was something.

For what seemed like eternity in the eternal night filled with thousands of lights, you laid next to each other, trying your best to rest. It was proving more and more futile with every passing second.

Just then, a touch against your covered lower abdomen. It was so subtle, so gentle you barely noticed it. Next came a press against your clothes, the warm hand slipping downwards. Your breath hitched, hot air on your lips a stark contrast to your surroundings.

“This might help,” Joel's voice vibrated in your ear, warming it up for just a second. You heard as he thickly swallowed, almost embarrassed to be doing such things to you in the dead of the night. The unsure words spilled from his lips, almost afraid to voice them, “If you want to, of course.”

He let out a breath of relief at your quiet nod, the shame falling off of his mind now that you agreed to his proposal. His thick fingers slipped underneath the waistband of your ice cold jeans, settling down on top of your mound. He could feel the heat surrounding your body, much more faint than it usually was.

You breath hitched, entire body stilling as his fingers dug beneath your panties, gently caressing the pubic hair on top before running down, towards your entrance. You shivered in his grasp, too sensitive to his advances after such a long time without relieving all the stress from your body. Although he didn't properly touch you yet, you were already quivering.

You had missed his touch. It had been so long since he did so. It was too dangerous, too risky; and he refused to risk your health and wellbeing just to get laid. He had his priorities straight.

Your breath shook, a silent gasp on your lips, as his fingers dipped inside you. The familiar stretch felt delicious. So familiar yet still able to take your breath away. Especially once he hit that special mushy spot inside you. It made your head spin, stars dancing in front of your eyes from how good it felt.

You heard his heavy breathing right next to your ear as his fingers worked to bring you to climax. His hips softly rutted against your backside, desperate for some action as well. Joel was patient though.

Besides, he enjoyed preparing you. Seeing the delight in your expression, your entire body melting thanks to nothing but his hands and tongue. There was something utterly captivating about it; about knowing how easily he made you give yourself over to him and only him. He loved knowing you were completely his and only his.

“Ya like that sweetheart? You like how my fingers feel?” Joel hummed into your ear, a smirk grazing his lips as you nodded. You let out a moan, eyes closing blissfully, once his lips connected with the back of your neck. His teeth dug into the soft flesh, sucking the flesh in as he shifted in his spot. A part of his body pressed you against the ground, it being a comfortable weight against you.

“Y-Yes daddy,” you whispered, eyes falling shut as you arched your back. Squirming underneath him to get his fingers to that one spot which made you see stars, you whined. The knot in your stomach was getting tighter, almost painfully so.

Your actions and words made him chuckle, the sound vibrating from deep within his chest. In his opinion, you were adorable like that. So needy and desperate for him, a complete mess underneath him. He would love to keep going, to tease you and edge you until you were a soaking mess, begging for him to bring you to your high. However, Joel was pent up just as much as you were.

You whined as soon as his fingers left your tight wet heat, slipping out with a squelch. You were about to sit up to look at him, a bit too ready to beg for his attention. Before you could however, his hands pinned you down against the bottom of your sleeping bag. You felt his weight press against your back, his thighs on both of your sides. A bit of shuffling and his pants were pooling at his hips, just like yours.

You didn't have time to react before the head of his cock pressed against your entrance, nudging against it to get in and hide in your tight hole. It slipped into you quite easily, you leaking more than you had in a long time.

The penetration took air away from your lungs. His cock felt much bigger on the inside than it seemed on the outside after all. For a second, it was too much to bear. Even after so many times you had felt him inside, you needed a moment to adjust which he'd gladly give you.

“Fuuuuck…” he breathed out, head falling back. He loved the way you gripped him, milking him before he even started moving. The squeeze on his cock felt heavenly, your walls fluttering around his hardness in a way that made his cock twitch and breath hitch.

How you could feel this nice, he wasn't sure. It was as if you had been made for no-one but him, your body and soul intertwining with his own. It was at those moments of vulnerability, when he was deep inside, holding onto each other, eyes connected, that he felt closest to you. It was then that nothing else mattered. Nothing but you.

He bottomed out into you with one swift movement, settling in comfortably. He didn't move until you gave him a sign, allowing him to proceed. When he did, both of you let out a sigh of relief. You both needed that. Wanting to be even closer, he laid down on top of you, keeping some of his weight off of your body. His own body pressed you down, his chin resting on top of your head, his hips still pistoning in and out of you.

You moaned and quivered underneath his weight as he whispered praise into your ear. He told you everything he knew you liked to hear. How good of a girl you were. How nice you felt. How you were taking him like a champ, better than anyone he had had. How much he loved you.

He did. He did love you. More than anyone. Even though he didn't admit it nor mention it too much, it was true. More than you could possibly imagine. During those little moments of unfiltered passion, those were the ones when he told you over and over. It was almost as if you'd leave him forever if he didn't.

That thought had always lingered in the back of his mind. Would you leave him? You had every right to. He wouldn't even blame you. He was too old for you. Too rough, too broken by the world. He had seen too much to ever heal.

You on the other hand? You were an angel walking amongst mere mortals such as him. A perfect doll, unaware of the pain and suffering of the world. Of course, he knew you were of it but compared to him, you were innocent. A bit too innocent for such a life. And despite everything, you stayed kind and selfless. He didn't deserve you. He knew it.

However, looking down at you, he knew the truth. He wouldn't let you go. Not without a fight. You were his and no-one else's. He'd do everything he could to make you happy. To see your smile and the light in your eyes when you looked at him during dawn.

The connection between you was overwhelming, threatening to swallow you whole. Hands intertwined, you turned your head to meet his gaze. There was no crushing lust which made you jump into his lap. There was simply pure, unadulterated adoration and love that promised nothing but eternal devotion. Joel looked at you like you had hung the moon and stars themselves.

With a groan and a sigh, you both reached your peak, his seed coating your insides. You collapsed onto your sleeping bag, flushed and panting, as his softening cock slipped out of you. You barely registered what was happening even though you felt it so clearly. Joel gently cleaned you both up before fixing up the clothes around your body. Pulling you into his arms, his face hid in your hair.

“I love you,” Joel whispered, his breath hot against you. It warmed you, definitely more than before. He had been right, it actually helped. The body warmth you shared was more prominent, making the cold not as unbearable.

“Love you too,” you retorted, a tired smile on your lips. You were tired, sleep coming to you easier than it had in a few days. Yawning, your eyes fluttered closed. Joel's arms tightened around you, a heated blanket upon you. It lulled you into sleep after than either of you expected and, for once, you could actually ignore the frost surrounding you.

Requests are currently:

OPEN

The Boys Masterlist also includes The Boys Diabolical. It does NOT include Gen V NOR the comics.

Even though I might write for some characters more than others, the other characters are still available as well!

Do not be afraid to request anyone from the current open form of media of the Fandom!

Works:

COMING SOON

Disclaimer:

I do not own The Boys or any of its characters. The Boys is the property of Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson and Sony Interactive Entertainment This fanfiction is written purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended for profit. Please support the original work!

Requests are currently:

OPEN FOR THE HBO SERIES ONLY

Even though I might write for some characters more than others, the other characters are still available as well!

Do not be afraid to request anyone from the current open form of media of the Fandom!

Works

COMING SOON

Disclaimer:

I do not own The Last Of Us or any of its characters. The Last Of Us is the property of Naughty Dog and Sony Interactive Entertainment. This fanfiction is written purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended for profit. Please support the original work!

Hi!

Welcome to

hicanivent's Masterlist

Please do not interact if you're a minor; my works are strictly 18+ only (with exceptions).

Won't write:

Scat

Character x OC

Real People

Self inserts

Might consider writing:

Vomit, Piss kink

Character x Character

Female Characters

Crossover

I am willing to write anything else.

Please, keep in mind!

If I find any new situations, scenarios or requests I am not comfortable with, I will add them into the 'Won't write' category.

Situations, scenarios or any requests mentioned in the 'Might consider writing' category depend on requested fanfiction and theme of the chosen character and/or fandom.

I might consider writing certain female characters. However, it is not a definite decision. Personally, I feel more comfortable writing for male characters but I'm always willing to try!

Extra warning

Some of my works might include triggering themes such as non-con, dub-con, abuse, manipulation, suicide, self harm and other themes, depending on the work.

Only fandoms which have such themes in canon might include mentions of incest, pedophilia, necrophilia. Such themes will NEVER be fully explicit and will only be there for educational or character lore purposes.

I do not agree with incest, necrophilia nor pedophilia. If you are attracted to any of those outside of fiction, please find medical help.

Fandoms I write for + Requests:

Request anything! Be it headcannons, one shots, multiple chapter stories, songfics, crackfics, anything!

(Open) - Open for any requests

(Request Will Be Considered) - Might have to learn more about Character's/Fandom's lore

If a request gets denied, it's going to be postponed until the Fandom and/or Character is open again

(Only Certain Characters) - Completely knowledge of only certain characters

(Only Certain Movies) - Other movies/series not seen for now

(Currently Closed) - Won't be written because of: Lack of knowledge; Not seen for a long time; Details Blurry; Series/Franchises not finished

Gravity Falls (Only Certain Characters)

Harry Potter (Only Certain Characters)

Fantastic Beasts (Currently closed)

Hogwarts Legacy (Hogwarts Legacy)

Stranger Things (Currently Closed)

Hazbin Hotel (Currently Closed)

Helluva Boss (Only Certain Characters)

Pirates of the Caribbean (Currently Closed)

The Lord of The Rings (Currently Closed)

The Hobbit (Only Certain Characters)

The Rings of Power (Currently Closed)

Five Nights at Freddy's (Currently Closed)

Game of Thrones (Only Certain Characters)

House of the Dragon (Only Certain Characters)

Hunger Games (Currently Closed)

The Maze Runner (Currently Closed)

Rick and Morty (Currently Closed)

Cuphead (Currently Closed)

The Chronicles of Narnia (Currently Closed)

BBC Sherlock (Currently Closed)

DC (Opened For The Penguin series, Harley Quinn series and The Dark Knight Only)

Marvel (Opened For X-Men Movies and Series and Deadpool Trilogy Only)

La Casa De Papel (Currently Closed)

Avatar: The Last Airbender (Currently Closed)

Bendy and the Ink Machine (Currently Closed)

Peaky Blinders (Currently Closed)

The Last Of Us (Open For The HBO Series Only)

The Boys (Open)

Good Omens (Currently Closed)

Welcome Home ARG (Currently Closed)

Fallout (Currently Closed)

Star Wars (Currently Closed)

The Walking Dead (Currently Closed)

The Mandela Catalogue (Currently Closed)

The Slasherverse (Only Certain Characters/Movies)

Dead by Daylight (Currently Closed)

Sonic the Hedgehog (Open For Sonic Movies, Sonic Prime and Sonic Boom Only and Only Certain Characters)

Detroit: Become Human (Request Will Be Considered)

Kingsman (Open)

Tim Burton Movies (Open)

Narcos (Currently Closed)

Squid Game (Open)

Random Movies (Request Will Be Considered)

Any movie with [x] (Only Certain Movies)

Specials

Advent Calendar 2024 Masterlist

Bouquets of Pedro Creativity Challenge

Please, remember!

I am about to graduate, have obligations and my life as well! Besides that, I am not in a stable mental state sometimes. These things might cause delays in delivering requests.

Please, be patient! Your requests will be written and sent out, no matter how long it might take!

Lastly, English is not my first language. Even though I consider myself good at it, I can make mistakes as well. Please tell me if you find any grammar or any other kind of mistake so I can fix them up as soon as possible!