Ronald Reagan - Blog Posts
The Easter bunny
“Daddy, who’s the Easter bunny and what is his connection to the Abrahamic religion system?”
Ronald, the husband, the father, the warrior, gazed down gently at little Michael, his youngest son. His deep voice that overwhelmed the boys ears with hope and wonder spoke. “Let me tell you a story, son. Do you remember the story of the manger? Of our lord Jesus Christ?” Michael nodded excitedly. He had always loved that story. “Well, there’s something I’ve never told you before about that story. A detail I left out. But today, my boy, you’re finally old enough to learn about Mary’s second son. You see, after Jesus was killed, Mary decided it was best for her youngest to run away and to take up a new identity. He lived for a very long time and changed a lot of lives. Lives like yours, Michael. Thankfully he stayed hidden for centuries before he was tragically cut short by an evil man named Pleurisy. Pleurisy was jealous of the man and his strengths. His godlike ability to pull light from the sky and control it as if a part of his own hand made him feel powerless, and when a man feels powerless he can do horrible things. This man was a very large public figure, so his death was covered up as to not cause country-wide outrage.” The other 4 of the sliver fox’s children had gathered around his feet in a circle, listening intently and staring up at him in awe of the story. Ronald had always had such a way of painting pictures with his words. The sights he spoke into existence as simply as tying a knot seemed the gather in towards his towering form and softly floated and buzzed around the seven heads in the room. “well, the man died long after his family and had no one to guide him to heaven to be amongst the others of God’s children. So, he lay waiting in his casket for that very special day that his older brother would rise to join him in the afterlife, and one day, that day came. On easter morning, the man had leapt into the stars, leaving his body and his life behind. Now, children. The Easter bunny. Which one wanted to hear about him? You? The adopted one, right?” Michael spoke again with visible tears on his face “I’m adopted?” They stared at each other for a moment “ Yeah… Anyway, a rabbit priest, a priestly rabbit came hopping along a few years later with quite an intent for disruption. He dug a burrow into the thick mound of dirt he had claimed as his own only to meet something hard. ‘Metal? Cement?’ He thought. Wood. The rabbit has dug so far down that he had reached the man’s casket. And being a curious rabbit, he climbed inside to see if the man had been a practicing Christian. No cross was found around the neck of the picked clean bone he found there. The rabbit was disappointed. It was getting cold out and so he climbed inside of the forms ribcage, hoping he wouldn’t mind the company. The days turned into nights until the rabbit had realized it had become Easter yet again. As the skeleton began to move on its own it pulled the animal out from inside it by the ear and asked it what it had been doing in there. The rabbit assured him that he meant no harm and that he was just very cold. They made a deal that since the man couldn’t come down to earth all year, that the rabbit could keep his remains safe and dedicate his life to spreading his message. They both agreed and they shook on it. It was a beautiful spring day when the rabbit decided to bring the skeleton outside and disguised it inside costume of himself. He egged people houses and he told people to ‘suck it!!’ And all was well in America. And that man, oh how he smiles down upon all of you kids, I just know it.” “Really? How would you know?” Ronald Reagan glanced up at his husband Benjamin Franklin Christ and tucked a strand of his long, silver hair behind his ear. Their smiles two halves of the same ring. “Oh, I know.”
Former President Reagan Addresses the United Nations
We Walk Among You
Ronald Reagan’s assassination attempt but it has king of the hill music over it
crystalbrain-reagan of death NFT on opensea.io
ok, so liek the 1980s had this dude named reagan, my crack cocaine smokin buddy. and when we smoked crack, it was because we had an infinite supply of something called MONEY. yes, god himself gave us shitloads of cash, handing it out of a TV liek some kind of ghoul. so anyways, this NFT is a tribute to a few different things from teh 80s: JAPANESE appliances, RICH PEOPLE with money, CRACK COCAINE, and teh DEVIL. yes, there were many people afraid of teh devil so i added a little inverted pentagram liek from teh forehead of some baphomet drawn by eliphas levi or some shit, but there is a TEN HEADED REAGAN who is sodomizing himself with money, but you can't really tell from the image. yes, reagan would get into god's secret stash of cash with oral roberts and teh devil, and we'd roll around frollicking burning 100 dollar bills and smoking huge amounts of rock cocaine. yes, i said oral roberts, and he knew ALL ALONG that god wasn't going to kill him if he didn't raise $1 million, but he just wants some money to add 2 the pile so he could smoke ridiculous amounts of CRACK with us. it was truly a great time to be a rich guy being groomed by dudes spouting greek philosophy, bcuz they would give u piles of crack cocaine and cash to ur 10 year old ass or whatever, it was such a great, great tiem in history, installed so many dictators in third world countries, yes.
now as i was laying on a pile of cash being fellated by unspeakable demons i decided 2 play famicom (which is teh japanese nintendo, yes) on a special tv with a famicom on it, but then TEH DEVIL possesses teh TV just to mess with me, and then reagan gets up and fucks teh TV in the ass to create an alternate dimensional version of me, and we try to beat each other at a game called urban champion which is a fighting game that SUCKED bcuz street fighter II was still years away. but anyways, it was quite a trip…while we were rolling around in that pile of cash we got so much cocaine and devil sperm on dollar bills, which is why u will notice that dollar bills from the 1980s smelled liek COCAINE and SEMEN. i am beside myself with laughter, it was a great trip being teh personal fucktoy of the world's leaders, with oral roberts, pat robertson and the pope taking turns on my ass while various republican politicians and donald trump got teh other end.
anyways, this television is a tribute to REAGAN, CRACK, MONEY, AND POWER!!