Ruth Fleming - Blog Posts
Ranking the NPMD kids on how much and how well I think they mask.
Pete: can mask if absolutely necessary and is pretty good at it, immediately needs time to recharge, main person to handle social situations Him, Ruth, & Richie run into.
Richie: Cannot mask to save his life, doesn’t try to.
Ruth: Cannot mask to save her life, does try to.
Grace: Has been masking severely since she was young it’s so tightly glued to her face she can’t take it off, doesn’t consciously recognize she’s masking, definitely undiagnosed.
Max: Masks any “uncool” interests, mainly masks around his dad, probably undiagnosed.
Steph: Masks alright, mainly masks around the other popular kids, does it subconsciously, maybe undiagnosed.
Ruth, I swear I saw this shit in one anime-
One of these nerdy prudes is not like the other
they also def have the bully busters memorized
Richie, Pete and Ruth definitely have the We Are The Toads, and The Perfect Pokerap by Brian David Gilbert memorised.
i don't think ive seen anyone else point out the star wars reference in npmd:
right before caitia ruth says "you're her only hope" and richie calls it a star wars analogy
in caitia reprise steph sings "if i really really did love you, you'd have to say" and pete sings "i know"
which is what han said to leia after she confesses her love
i just really loved this callback
This but it’s Ruth, Richie, Steph, and Pete.
The question is, who would each one be
the idea of Ruth as a trans allegory has me crying in the club
(SPOILERS FOR NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE GO WATCH IT ITS AMAZING)
the idea of discovering something more to yourself that you want to show the world, but feel stuck in what people say you need to be rather than what you really are hits really close to home
Max Jagerman saying “you’re a nerd cause I said so. i willed it into existence.” represents how the more acceptable, “normal” people project what someone is supposed to be onto them without considering what they truly are, to keep them in a box, a box that Ruth is trying to break out of
when Max is presumed dead, it represents those expectations being lifted off of those who were affected, allowing people like Richie to be confident in who they are and make friends
even though Ruth doesn’t know exactly what she is yet, she finds her passion for being in the spotlight at the beginning of “Just For Once”, singing about how she now knows she wants to be in the spotlight
lines that talk about her character growing old, talking about how she’s disappointed with where her life is, maybe reflects how she’s feels about growing up herself, being scared of a future where she has to live as someone she isn’t or with someone she doesn’t want to be with
her repetition of “just for once,” in the song reflects many of the thoughts that other trans people have, often imagining ultimatums like “if only I had a button that turned me into a (preferred gender)” or “if I could just wear this outfit just for one event,” or “if I could just be a (preferred gender) for one day”
“just for once I’d feel the spark that I once knew” reflects feelings of many trans people who realized they weren’t cis around high school, where Ruth is, and searched to find that feeling again, but felt trapped by expectations by parents or others
“should I flip the burgers now? should I double check it’s well done on the outside, not within?” her indecisiveness reflects one of her main character traits, that she is riddled with anxiety, a common struggle that trans people experience, her anxiety makes scenarios that even though people are starting to accept her after Max’s death, that she’d still be ridiculed, or that it isn’t right for her to be who she is
her musicality shows her in bursts of confidence, like at the end with her lengthening the last note and letting it trail off, setting it free, only to go completely silent, highlighting the duality of her confidence in her new self, and fear of change (the last note always kills me it makes me tear up everytime)
what makes it even more gut-wrenching is that she isn’t able to feel the freedom of living her dream
the trailing off repetition of “i used to dance” after talking about giving away her tap shoes, representing her surrender to anxiety and fear, giving up on her dreams of being a performer, before being killed by Max
“Life is fine, if only it were mine.”
