Sad - Blog Posts
Today the weather was gloomy
And for the first time in a while my mood did not reflect that
Which showed me that the weather can be gloomy and I don't have to be sad about it
Just like my emotions, when the sadness washes over I can be okay with it and let it be
You know those moments when things start to get really hard, and it feels lonely. Those moments when it feels like nothing is going your way? Yeah I'm sure we've all been there.đ©đ©đ«„
The best thing to do in those situations is to trust. Trust that the storm won't last forever. Trust that things will get better because guess what? That is not the first time you're going though such a phase. If you look back you'll realise that you've gone though it before and you're proof that you came out of it alive. So what's persevering one more time? Because out of it you'll come back stronger. đ±đ±
So guard your mind from those thoughts that try to convince it's the end or its going to be like this forever because it's not, it's just another new beginning waiting to start. See this as just another obstacles that you as the main character has to get through. Trust that you will get through this. Trust that it will get better because that is the nature of life. No winter lasts forever. You've got this!âšđŠđž
...
Yo guys, raise your hand if you came out to your friend recently (as a lesbian) but don't know how the duck to tell him I'm non-binary, or that my name is Airyn (I haven't transitioned yet, and only my best friend knows) So yeah....and we are both crushing on the same fucking girl. I'm not exited for today man. *raises hand*
ArcoĂris de suspiros
Lagunas de ojeras
Como gatos enlazados en una sola azotea
Ven a mi desastre, sin arreglar nada.
Mis silencios pueden expresar mĂĄs que tus gritos.
Estar ebrio de sĂłlo pensarte
Necesito escapar de mi dolor, mi vacĂo
Siento mis huesos secarse
Estoy tan vacĂa contigo o sin ti
No tengo la necesidad de esperarte
No quiero que me esperes
SĂłlo querĂa amaneceres con olor a tu perfume
Noches con sabor a de quien sabrĂĄ
LĂĄgrimas caen como gotas
Intentando llenar un vaso qué tiene agujeros
Insomnios que se vuelven ojeras difuminadas
Corazones de helio, con un piso de espinas.
ÂżMe estoy ahogando o sĂłlo salvando?
Estoy soñando que te estoy buscando
Estoy corriendo por un bosque lleno de flores
Empiezo a tropezar con ramas secas
Me estĂĄn persiguiendo y exactamente no eres tĂș
Mirar atrĂĄs es dar un paso en falso pero necesitaba verte
EstĂĄs tan gris, tan dĂ©bil, tan frĂĄgil, tan vacĂo y transparente.
Mi piel estĂĄ algo erizada, mis manos no son capaces de sentirte
PodrĂa susurrarte que casi siento morirme
No toco fondo, estoy cayendo de un acantilado
Me distraje en tus ojos color miel, en tu cuerpo hecho de los arboles
No pude dejar de extrañar todos los lunares como mapas
Llegué al punto de tocar fondo, estaba mojada, caà en un mar negro
Un mar sin medidas
Un mar sin lados
Un mar lleno de rocas
Un mar que se resumĂa en tus ojeras y la comisura de tus labios.
Me estaba hundiendo, por dormirme estuve a punto de ahogarme.
Desperté y estaba usted a mi lado, observando mis pestañas y
Casi perdiéndose en ellas.
DĂa 5 sin ti: Una ventana vacĂa y a oscuras, la luna refleja tu rostro
Extrañando tus charlas por las noches
Tus besos en la espalda por la madrugada
Ese olor a tu sexo y a las palabras
Te extraño mås de lo que piensas y menos de lo que dices.
Voy por el sexto trago y el cigarrillo 12Â
Todo estĂĄ dando vuelta, sĂłlo escucho tus voces
Un remolino en la cabeza hechos por mis demonios
He paseado por tantos caminos, he recorrido tantos cuerpos, he aprendido tanto
Ya estĂĄ pasando tu olvido, se va esfumando mientras fumo mĂĄs
Bajando las penas, subiendo mis ganas
Tantas veces te he deseado en mi almohada
Tantas veces extrañåndote
Tantas veces queriendo que el café sepa igual sin ti.
Las cosas van bien, sĂłlo te pienso 2 veces por semanas.
Sonrisas rotas esperando ser reconstruidas pero una sola persona no puede con tanto trabajo.
Una sola persona no puede hacerte feliz y mucho menos arreglar las ruinas de otros.
Tantos llantos sin un solo sonido, estoy ahogĂĄndome en lĂĄgrimas que no puedo expresar.
Millones de suspiros divagando con el viento y su brĂșjula, cuando sĂłlo mi norte eres tĂș y los rizos de tu cabello.
Amando tus manĂas y los casos en los que no te gusta ni como estĂĄn unidas las nubes.
PodrĂa pasar miles de tiempos mirĂĄndote a los ojos, no logras intimidarme con esa sonrisa.
Ya poder contenerme entre la quĂmica sexual, el magnetismo y la atracciĂłn de nuestro cuerpo ya es mucho.
Nuestro dĂa a dĂa es una clase de fĂsica y poesĂa interminable.
Horas de hielo, sin emitir palabras, tan frĂos y tensos. Y en el fondo tan rotos.
Nota 1 de 100: â Estoy media daltĂłnica gracias al arcoĂris que se consumiĂł en mi clavĂcula. La psicologĂa sirve para controlar los sentimientos, las pastillas actĂșan mayormente en el hipotĂĄlamo. Las emociones, Âżla verdad somos tan hipĂłcritas como para fingir una sonrisa cuando estamos llenos de cicatrices?
Jamilys AzĂłcar.
Mom told me that tiktok getting banned in January 2025... and she says Titok has taken a major legal step to stop the U.S. from Banning the app tiktok and U.S. federal judges on D.C Circuit upheld an April bill banning tiktok unless the parent company, ByteDance, divests its U.S. operations....
Disappeared. No trace.
Beni vurduÄun silahtaki mermi deldi kalbimi...
Kırık cam parçalarına ayrıldı her Ćey
Ćuan ise yakıyorum kalbimi yanmÄ±Ć bir deniz misali...
Ama sönmĂŒyor bir tĂŒrlĂŒ içimdeki ateĆ bıraktıÄın acı...
Hani su söndĂŒrĂŒrdĂŒ ateĆi?
Ăyleyse, bu içimdeki ateĆ neden?
                                 Karanlık Notalar
From Seori...
What should I do now why I hovered over, I donât know how...Â
Whereâs my hope? Nobody calls me, loved me not.
I just needed someone else...
Please... donât come to me, Iâm afraid every time.
What should I do now why, the fireworks that hover over me are gradually spreading.
Would it be a little easier if you just let me go
When my eyes are closed, My feet are empty.
Yap I didn't prepare to buy some pencil (I was too jelly with my sister who has 6 pack of pencil and... I don't think she will giving me some since she has a pride for her things LMAO). I want to go out to buy some pencil T-T sadly my allowance was lockdown as well XD and beside my father was starting to get cranky if one of us live the house aside him (except Sunday masses... Btw there I still no sign here on my place that has an affected of the corona but still we keep ourselves healthy and following the rules for the prevention of the corona virus)
- Draco scrubs the skin on his arm viciously every time he showers. The skin is always red and marked by scratches. He tries so hard to get the mark off of him. He wants to feel clean again. - George canât look in the mirror anymore. Not without remembering Fred. He smashes all mirrors in their home. He cuts his hair, he dyes it. - Neville sees Nagini in his dreams. But in his dreams it reaches Ron and Hermione before he does. - Harry has multiple wands all around his house hidden in places that only he knows. Beneath his pillow, beneath his bed, under the couch. Just in case. - Hermioneâs boggart is no longer failure. - Draco and Blaise are afraid of fire. - Someone accidentally calls George âFredâ once. No one knows who starts crying first. - Headmistress Miverna Mcgonagall is fierce, powerful and kind. All first years are intimidated and amazed, she seems untouchable. However some nights she roams the school hallways and remembers every student she lost, every life that got taken away too soon, every soul that left them too early. - Harry suddenly canât stay in very small rooms. He feels trapped, his throat starts convulsing and his eyes sting. - Hagrid still feels the weight of what he thought was Harryâs corpse in his hands. It haunts him. - Hermione, Ron and Harry had gotten so used to spending months having one small meal per day that sometimes they forget theyâre supposed to eat. - Harry rolls in his sleep once and hits his forehead against the night stand on accident, when he wakes up with pain on his forehead his heart sinks and his whole body freezes. It isnât until he sees the bruise that heâs able to calm down. Because Voldemort isnât back. - Ron dreams that heâs back in their tent, traveling and hiding, heâs changing the radio stations and he hears Ginnyâs names as one of the victims. - Molly always has âwhereâs Fred?â on the tip of her tongue, at all times. - Harry spends the year post-war discovering who he is, what he loves, other than the Boy-who-lived and the Savior-of-the-Wizarding-World. Because there are things he never had time to think about, never had time to experiment, never had time to experience. Sometimes he wonders if coming back had been the right choice, because it hurt so bad on some days that he couldnât take it. - When Teddy is sad or scared and heâs crying, Harry tells him stories and shows him pictures of his parents, itâs then and only then that he calms down and his hair goes back to normal. - Harry pulls back to himself when the date of his death nears every year, his friends do everything in their power to bring him out of it. - Draco and Harry have talks about the war some nights, both saw what Voldemort was capable of, Harry in his dreams, Draco in his home. Both understand. - Luna is quirkier and weirder than ever before. She always does everything in her power to lighten up the mood in the room when the silence is bitter and mournful. Itâs like she canât stop shifting and smiling and nervously twitching and saying random facts about things no one has heard of before. Everyone knows itâs her way of coping, of staying positive. So no one minds. Itâs comforting. - Harry gets the sudden desire to travel all over the world. Sometimes Ron and Hermione come with him, others he goes alone, once Neville joins him. Draco does too. - Draco starts writing, he writes thousands of words on some nights and none on others. Heâs good at it, too. - Harry always, without fail, looks for Siriusâ constellation. He visits his grave too, tells him how things are going in his life, how heâs coping, how he isnât. - Hermione getting a tattoo of blooming pastel flowers on top of her âmudbloodâ scar, because sheâs alive, many her friends are alive and she wants to remember that.
And maybe not all is well, maybe they have scars time cannot erase, but theyâre together, their hearts are still beating, so itâll be okay. Theyâre going to be okay.
Getting bored and remembered I can actually post stuff
So there's death... obviously. It's kind of sad depending on the circumstances. But after a while, you move on, right? I mean, you're supposed to move on.
Anyone who is stuck on the death of someone or something for over a year is honestly forcing themselves to be stuck on it at that point.
Because it's natural to move on from it. You don't stay stuck on it that long naturally.
But I was thinking about love and why it seems to hurt more when it dies. Half of the time, it leaves a deeper scar.
Love dies too, like everything else does.
So I kind of started kind of wondering
Why does it hurt longer when love dies? Why does it leave more permanent scars? I eventually came up with an answer that actually satisfies me.
Love dies twice, and three times. Then it can die a fourth a time.
Everything else that dies, dies once. However, love can continue to infinitely die forever. It can stop abruptly. You could just never love anyone again, and it won't die for you again. On the other hand, you can continue to love. It can continue going down the wrong path and die repeatedly. Or you can quickly find the right path, but it IS highly unlikely... It's going to continue until you either stop doing it or you find someone perfect.
That last time I'd really had a crush was in I think fourth grade. Until then though, I never really had a crush on, or loved someone. I mean, I've loved people still. But not romantically. I can't say it's impossible for me to feel romantic love because I'm sure I still can. I still feel the emotions everyone else feels. However, I can't help but notice everyone else's constant want or need for love, when I feel fine without it. If anything, I steer away from it...
I don't know why. I just don't follow the concept of love. It's not even that I find it foolish, or stupid, or ridiculous. It's simply the fact that I harbor no feelings towards the idea of love. I don't feel the need for it anymore, I don't feel the need for a relationship anymore.
So to be honest, if I end up being single from my days now in high-school until I die, I might not have a problem with that.
One of my friends asked me why I don't just try to heal myself
And I never came up with an answer
But I already had an answer, I just didn't want to sound stupid
I don't do it because I know I'm not done hurting
So I'm not going to fix myself if I'm not done breaking
The only way I can be fixed is if I'm finished breaking until I get broken down again
The only thing is, I don't think I'm going to stop breaking
And if I do it won't be soon
The other thing, if I'm going to break again then why should I rebuild myself?
Why should I take anywhere from days to years to rebuild myself when it only takes a few seconds to be broken again
And the worst part is when one part of you breaks it's almost guaranteed the rest will too
Rebuilding a person can take 10 years, breaking a person can take 10 seconds
Thats the exact reason why people would rather destroy me then help me
Which is why I thank all of my friends for being good people to me even though I'm always the depressed person in our group.
I'm trying to feel all the emotion
That I once used to have
But now, I barely feel any of it
Now I barely even laugh
It wasn't really my fault
It was all the masks doing
I wore it blankly every day
Until I decided I was fine
When I wanted to take it off
I was already way too late
It never moved at all after that
It was then that i realized I was too quick to take the unintentional bait
It's not really my fault
I just wanted to hide away
But now that they've replaced me
I'm ok with never having another happy day
After this, my mask sometimes falters
And I show some emotion now
But all the rest of the expressions that never come out
Comes out in tears, and all in a commotion
Love this creation love it