Saix - Blog Posts
AKUSAIMONTH: DAYTIME MOON Day 2: Lyrics
Then your fragments show. [Fragments - Erio]
I’m sorry for the cheesy, uncreative idea, but I know KH3 won’t end good for those two, so I’ve made it my personal mission to draw as much Good-End! AkuSai as I can. Fight me if you dare. ( 9 > A < )9/p>
AKUSAIMONTH: DAYTIME MOON Day 1: Favourite Scene
[ He was w e a k . ]
… he says, while showing so much sadness, disguised as anger, as despise. I don’t know what he thinks about in this moment, which memories come to his mind, yet it is easy to see the grief he denies feeling.
“What do you think you’re doing? You’re blocking my light.” “M-mm. Try saying that again without smiling, then maybe I’ll believe you.”
(Felt like fluffy post-KH3 good end AkuSai.) Also, I just realized today ... THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 200 FOLLOWERS, you are amazing! T u T )/
New avatar! Plus a coloured version - AND the unwanted norted version, that happened when I accidentally activated all layers except the blue one (which included the skin layer copy I had). Ironic.
You know, I’ve got so many favourite characters. Quiet a few characters I feel a certain connection to, in whom I recognize a part of myself … and still Saix is special. Not like he’s got a special place in my heart, but more like he is my heart. I’m never going to escape this guy ever again in my whole life.
Cosplay shooting with friends! Big thanks to the one who talked me into cosplaying as well, rather than just taking photographs and who took those cool shots then!
By the way, cosplaying Saix on conventions is great! The reaction of other Kingdom Hearts fans is always amazing. Especially the Axel cosplayer are incredible nice and cool! … Is it just me or is AkuSai getting more and more popular?
AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 12: SET C - “Gradient”
Your behavior towards me changed. You changed.
It was important to keep a close eye on the wielder of the keyblade. Up to this very day, I cannot claim to know the full truth behind Xemnas’ – behind Xehanort’s plan. The essential part this boy played in it was obvious nonetheless. It was only logical to let you watch him.
As always though, you didn’t quite act as I was expecting. You never did, and still I could have never forseen the outcome this would cause. By the time I realized, it was already too late.
I was already losing you to him.
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AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 11: SET C - “Patterns”
How could you smile like that? How could you smile without a heart.
Everything was becoming routine so fast. I was separated from everyone else from the start. I realized it, yet this was giving me the best access to information, so I welcomed it anyway. You never stopped smiling whenever I send you off to those missions. You were joking and grinning, like nothing had happened. Like nothing was wrong at all. You seemed to do so perfectly fine. Unlike me.
I tried to tell myself that I was doing all this for you, for us, so we could go home together, as whole beings again, but soon the thought began to change in my head. It didn’t take long before I found myself blaming you for everything. A little more every time you smiled at me.
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AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 10: SET C - “FREE SPACE”
“It won’t be.” "Huh?" "It won't be okay, unless we make it. "You have a plan?" "Not yet. We don't know enough. Our only chance at the moment is to play along." "So, you do have a plan." "I doubt it's worth calling it that." "Pft, whatever. Don't be so grim, Isa. We can do this, right!"
I felt like falling. It was a vertigo, things were keeping to blur before my eyes. It was hard to keep myself together at that time. Being with you helped. Apparently I was the only one struggeling with this. I know for sure that you didn't. Then again, I was also the only one who had had an X carved into his forehead.
It was incredible how fast the wound had healed – or rather, how fast it had scarred.
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AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 9: SET C - “Lyrics (Together)”
[ I know to be there When and where, I’ll be there You know what’s to be said We said out loud, we never said
My premonition of the world comes to me A sun in your eyes Says I’m alright ] [ Together - The xx ]
“Isa! Is that you?! Did it get you too?! Where the hell are - Woah, I-Isa, what - what happened to your face?!”
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Winter has to pass away for spring to arise Yet for spring flowers wilt so fast nothing remains in the end
Background infos and close ups here. (if it looks blurry on the dashboard, please view it on my blog)
And the shark it’s got tears and they run down it’s face But the shark lives in the water so the tears are not to be seen
It is lonely in the deep and many a tears are falling And that is how the water in the seas comes to be salty
[Haifisch - Rammstein]
Okay, I decided I should pull myself together and draw something for at least the last day! Because today morning the time has finally come and 2.5 ReMix will be also available here in Europe! Yay!!
You know what I’m looking forward to the most? The new “secret” movie in Re:Coded!! I’m not sure if I should hope for the expectations I got from the bits and pieces I gathered here on Tumblr to be right or not. Because, if they’re wrong, I might be disappointed.
But if they are right, then I will be terrified.
"He was weak." 17 Days.
I'm so looking forward to see the Final Mix cut scenes ingame!! = u = / So much more Saix. So much more emotional Saix, höhö.
(Also, I love the fact that Axel and Saix are sitting across from each other in the Round Room. I can't stop imagining Axel to grin and wave into Saix' direction, especially in the beginning when they first joint the Organization - and if just to cheer him up.)
AU where Lea and Isa live together and adopt Roxas, Xion and Naminé. They both love all three of them of course, but somehow Naminé turns out to be Isa's little darling.
(About the drums in the background, I vote they belong to Xion. It would be just too badass.)
This was this late summer's/early autumn's "I've got nothing to do for at least five minutes D:" picture. Yeah, I always have my drawing stuff with me for cases like that. xD
I actually made an interesting experience with this picture:
When I was drawing at a convention, a few guys who thought they were oh so funny watched me draw and one of them asked if they were kissing. (I just answered absolutely matter of fact, that if they were kissing their lips would actually touch. Of course that was not what he meant, but he didn't dare to open his mouth again after that, so yeah. xD)
On another occasion an elderly lady saw me draw and she was seemingly disturbed by the motif. I overheard her retelling what she saw to her husband and she on the other hand discribed it as "two men fighting".
At first I dismissed the "kissing" as well as the "fighting" understanding as wrong (compared to my own of course), because neither of those were what I wanted to show. After a while though I realised that this wasn't quite true. Those interpretations are still not "right", but they are not completely wrong as well. They are just ... incomplete. Seen together though they can actually get pretty close to my own understanding. Each of those people saw one of the tensions I had planned, but failed to see the other.
And in my opinion that's extremely interesting! I just love to hear other people's interpretations on my pictures! Especially on those that are actually not supposed to show a specific scene but more ... a state of mind or a certain mood or the nature of ... whatever. On pictures that are symbolic. Like this one here.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 23: Flower
Radiant Garden. Our lives. Our past. Our dreams.
Everything is gone.
The irony that it took two life ruiners in order to get my life straight again.
(or: when crying over a fictional friendship helps you to somehow save an almost lost real friendship.)
I just can't believe what an idiot I was.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 22: Hair 2/2
Don't worry. I'll be there.
Hair. Hair. Hair, I ALWAYS loved drawing hair *3* Especially if it's flowing and silky and awwwwwww. (I can spend hours and hours on colouring hair ... and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours) A KaKAO card again. :) Done with coloured pencils.
I was told that those cards seem bigger on screen then they are, so the second picture is meant as a scale. Note that this is already a maxi card, which means two cards in one. An actual KaKAO card is half the size. I plan maxi cards always in a way that they could be separated, but I seriously don't want to cut those two apart. Ever. =_="
I drew that while I was waiting for the admission test for university to start. It's on the back of a bus ticket, I didn't have anything else with me at the moment. (because ... you're not allowed to have anything with you, except food, something to drink, pens in black and blue and your wallet. Oh and single tissues of course. Very important.) I wanted to draw Saïx with a ponytail for quiet some time and that was somehow the perfect opportunity x'DD (it somehow felt right? xDD)
Well, the reason why I am uploading that now is ... I GOT A PLACE AT UNIVERSITY! Which means, once I inscribed on Monday, I will officially be a student of psychology! Yay! :DDD (I actually wanted to do that ever since I was ... twelve? thirteen? fourteen? x'DDD)
I will actually go to university ... haha, I am really happy :'D
"Come on, Isa, don't make a face like that. ... We're going to be alright, I promise."
Small thank you picture for all of you wonderful people who liked my last post @//u//@ I really didn't expect to get notes on that one. Don't know, somehow every single one of them feels like "Hey, it's good to have you back!" and no matter if that's what you meant or not, it still feels great and I love you all for that feeling x'D
Seriously, THANK YOU.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 22: Hair 1/2
(No, you're looking adorable.)
This is a pretty old picture (must be 2012). I actually wanted to redraw this for this prompt, but someone else already did something very similar, so I decided to do something else. Still I do like this pic, so I thought I'd upload it anyway. :D The second fill for this day will probably take a while anyway.
This was actually a scene I really wished for in an Organization 13 RP I had with friends a (long) while ago. I just wanted Axel and Saix to take a shower together OR ACTUALLY SOMETHING, but nothing like that ever happend. xDD Our Axel was waaaay to indecisive for it. I mean, when we stopped this RP it had over 76 000 posts – and Axel and Saix were no pairing yet. xDD And they were the reason we (or at least I) started this thing in the first place. Seriously, whatever. xDD
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 19: Quotes
I'll always be there to bring my friends back.
(I can’t escape from a dark reality that has built up to this point. The walls are closing in, and I’m stuck inside.
Hold on. I’m coming for you, no matter what it takes.)
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 18: Misunderstanding
Keep your mouth shut.
I don't think there are misunderstandings in between those two. They are both hearing as well as understanding what the other one says. In my opinion, the biggest misunderstanding is within Saix, because he very apparently is not aware of what he's really doing. Or what harm he causes by doing it. All Axel does is defying to hear what Saix doesn't say.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 17: Prison
Strange, I just felt like - Nah, probably just my imagination.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 16: Jealousy
I don't even have the time to waste it like that. So go on playing with your little puppies if you so wish.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 15: Tears
This was the motif I wanted to do for Day 10: Repentance, but then that comic came in between me and my plans so I decided to keep it for this day. I came up with this at 4:30 in the morning, in this strange state between dreaming and waking. I'm the most creative in these moments, but it's always kind of hard to explain things afterwards ö_ö" It makes sense in an emotional way. xD
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 13: Broken
All I want is to hold you. Nothing more – and nothing less. I know that when I do, I can pretend it to be us. Not just empty shells. I can pretend things to be fine, even if it is just for a moment. I can almost pretend to feel, because – I do somehow. I do remember how warm it felt to touch you, to be with you. That’s enough for me. But all you ever do, is telling me that I can’t. Telling me that it’s not true. That you can’t feel me, even when I am near to you, that it feels like a lie at best. That you don’t want me to touch you, because it makes you realize how false all of this is. How false we are. We don’t have hearts. We can’t feel. Then why does it hurt that much?
This was actually the first fill I drew for Akusaimonth. Yep, that’s the day I entered. I decided afterwards that I will do them in the right order and let that sketch be. Which was a good thing too, because it actually looked terrible. xDDD Phew, good to see that I got better at drawing those two in the last two weeks.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 12: Promise
If I were to fall, would you save me?
This is supposed to be shortly after they joint the Organization. I guess Saix could feel that something was wrong and he was going to lose himself even back then.
Well, noone came for him, when he finally did.
Akusaimonth: Berserk Mode Day 11: Textures
Ah, what a mean topic for someone who's working in traditional media. I tried to figure something out for this one for days and what I came up with was actually very obvious: A collage with different textured paper.
This was a very interesting experience as well, never before had I realized how much emotions and memories I connected to different sorts of paper. So, there was a logical reason why I'd use which paper (for example a silky one for Saix' hair and a rough for Axel's) as well as an emotional (the band that connects them for example is made out of an really old paper that's terrible to draw on and even worse to cut, but for me it stands for some of my happiest childhood memories and a deep and genuine friendship, so it sort of fits.)
This pictue is an ACEO card. I don't know if you know about them, they are very popular in the german language area, but I've never heard of them from anywhere else. ö_ö ACEO cards (or KaKAO cards, as they are called in german) are cards in the size of 6,4 x 8,9 cm, which are made to trade or sell them. This one here is actually two cards, but I couldn't get myself to cut them apart so it will stay one Maxi KaKAO. xD
And well, I would like to give it away. After all that's the meaning of such a card anyway and I find the thought to send it to some AkuSai Fan anywhere in the world actually very exciting. So, if anyone would like to have it please tell me in an ask! :)
edit: It found a new home :D Yay!