Shazam - Blog Posts
God I swear I already wrote this hc once upon a time but I can’t find it for the life of me so!
Billy Batson, young and homeless, is looking to make some extra cash to survive starts working at Whiz radio station. He gets bounced around doing various odd jobs but gets roped into taking over the nightly superhero hour when everyone else comes down sick. Bill doesn’t quite know what to do, he’s not great with words and hasn’t been to school in years. So he just starts talking from the heart.
Billy talks about heroes, not just as paragons and icons but real live people being expected to shoulder the world. He brings up the various charities and causes heroes support and how ordinary citizens can be heroes in their own way. He never directly comments on current politics but instead speaks of morality and philosophy, not as a highly educated adult but a deeply empathetic child who has seen the worst the world has to over and continues to smile.
It’s an instant hit and Billy is brought on semi-permanently. He’s popular enough the radio forgives his odd hours and occasional absences and politely overlooks the fact that he ought to be in school/foster care. They give him a microphone that distorts his age and call him the Wizard. The show becomes so popular that it extends beyond Fawcett City and soon is being uploaded online and being broadcast around the country and behind. And some heroes listen in too. Barry listens to the program on his morning jog, it invigorates him to do better and makes him re-evaluate his role as a hero. Bruce will have it quietly in the background when he’s feeling low on a bad case to remind himself that all his efforts and suffering have meaning. Clark leans back in his chair at the Daily Planet and wonders how a civilian from the Midwest can understand the burden of heroism.
Billy is doing his program when the producer knocks on the glass window in a panic. Superman is here and wants to interview with Billy. Bill is freaking out, thinking he’s been caught but the first thing Supes does is gently cradle Billy’s small hands in his own and thank him for being a source of kindness and inspiration. Superman is thrown at first that the Wizard is a child, an obviously hardliving one at that, but presses on. The Man of Steel notoriously hard to interview but he chats easily with Billy, answering questions and debating morality and cause/effect of heroes and villains. The interview goes viral and soon even more heroes are stopping by.
Green Arrow comes and screams into the mic about the abuse of the government on underprivileged people. Wonder Woman and the Wizard have a fascinating, in depth discussion on gods and belief as both prove to be a wealth of obscure knowledge. One of the Robins comes and talks about kids in the hero biz and some unnnamed British man who keeps getting his swears bleeped out gives a kind of magic 101 which mostly translates to “don’t (bleep)ing mess with it”. Everyone wants to know who the Wizard is but his identity is locked down tight, first by Whiz radio, who knows they’ll be in trouble with child labor laws and the Justice League who has become obsessed with this kid. Many have wanted to adopt the precious bean to the detriment of Billy’s blood pressure.
Everyone always asks why Captain Marvel hasn’t come by for a visit. He’s so friendly and open and operates directly out of Fawcett City. Cap is sweating at the Watchtower when his friends are talking about the latest show and gently berating him for not interviewing. Billy is grimacing as his producer makes him ask, on air, if the Cap would show up for a chat. He just wanted to make a little bit of extra cash in his off hours and now he’s kind of an international sensation and unofficial hero whisperer. Maybe Constantine can help him with a sort of duplication spell?
a shazam and robin book called the 'batsons'. dc where's my paycheck
its the abandonment issues, dw
Every member of the Justice League has the shared instinct to parent Billy Batson, except Billy Batson does not want to be parented which has resulted in multiple fights between almost the entire League vs. one ten year old who refuses to take a nap and eat a sandwich
Oliver: Here kid, buy yourself a candy bar or something
Billy:
Billy: This is $100, what the fuck kind of candy bar am I supposed to buy with this?
Barry: Wow man, who just gives a 10-year-old 100 bucks?
Bruce, quickly tucking $100 back into his pocket: Yeah, that's ridiculous
I will always find solace in the fact that Billy Batson is too poor to be an iPad kid.
The JL (specifically Bruce) kept sending notifications whenever Billy was at someone’s house and was about to sleep in. Billy got more house invites and with the house invites because the JL wanted him to sleep over at their places badly. And because of this, Billy got more nonsense calls/emergencies/missions. The JL (unintentionally) created a problem for the boy.
I feel like John won by accident because Billy was just tired from all the nonsense notifs that came everytime he was at someone’s house. Once John (unknowing of the rule) invited Billy over to the House of Mystery/his house/or something, Billy was like “fuck manners, im fucking tired from JL shit” and slept
(or billy knew and he wanted john to win,,, who knows)
Due to the amount of League members who wanted to adopt/foster Billy Batson, A rule was created. Whoever gets Billy to fall asleep and spend the night at their house, gets to keep him.
Bruce thought he won when Billy fell asleep on one of his many couches. However, Dick bursted in saying how ‘he had to see his new baby brother’; prompting Billy to wake up and leave. Afterwards, Bruce would not talk to Dick for 3 days.
Clark came close when Jon and Billy were about to have a sleepover, but urgent JL notification came in. Meaning both Clark and Billy had to leave. Clark still thinks the notification was a set up by Bruce. (It was)
Diana claimed to win, but after some investigation it was found that Billy had spent the night at Themyscira, not Diana’s actual house.
Almost every member of the JL has tried. None has succeed.
Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Marvel
-Along with that, I’m pretty sure he got into Naruto cosplay (as Shazam) one time because of the Area 51 meme
-There’s a female villain and after Marvel punts her somewhere he’s like “just killed a woman, feeling good” (after that he had to explain the JL the meme)
-Whenever someone does something amazing he always says WAP and no one has the heart to correct him
Marvel, being shot in the gut a few times, bleeding and fading between consciousness and unconsciousness: tis but a scratch
Marvel, when he has to do monitor duty/does something not dangerous: IM GONNA DIE
Shazam/Captain Marvel/Billy Batson has so much comedic potential.
~
Captain Marvel, the chosen Champion of the gods, protector of Magic: poggers.
~
Captain Marvel: (speaking in Latin to an ancient deity)
Superman: (leaning over) What’s he saying?
Wonderwoman: He’s asking it for its Minecraft username.
~
Captain Marvel: (eyes glowing) dwelling on the heroes of old, will only end In suffering and misfortune, glacé to the morrow instead.
The league: …
Captain Marvel: (sips boba)
I legit can’t wait for Billy to face a powerful deity and act casual with them like he just met a long lost friend from highschool.
Or reunited with his online friend who didn’t play Minecraft for a couple of years (even though the friend was like: “I’ll see you tomorrow” and never went back online).
idk. The thought of Billy Batson casually interacting with powerful beings of the universe is something I want to write but can’t.
~also~
1. “Sup, wanna play minecraft?”
“Champion of magic, what the f u c k”
2. “...thats why the universe is a large soup for the gods”
“... what the fuck?”
FINALLY (i tried to get this out as soon as possible)
idk even know what this is i just found this in my draft at 4 am
another crack(ish) prompt but do you think that billy would solve things peacefully/casually??? ppl expect him to be flashy or punch a lot because of his personality, powers or something but NOPE
like think about it
-he’s having a fight with a villain and he just wants to talk instead of fight
-a god/dess shows up, wanting to destroy something/the world and billy’s like: “sup, want some burgers?”
-“what are burgers?” (cue the JL, billy and the deity eating burgers in mcdonalds)
-another take on the burgers one: “do you want burgers?” “champion of magic, what the fuck”
-*villian goes on a rant about how their life sucked*
billy: do you need a hug,,, wanna get a milkshake,,,,
I really love the idea of captain marvel being like really fucking shady
Imange with me
"I know a guy"
Knows how to pick locks
Yeah for blood you've got to do peroxide and cold water and scrub harder
*the league is talking about a crime boss his image is shown marvel is late* hey I know that guy!
Can relate to criminals
Still has the sunny boyscout attitude somehow
When overhearing a conversation about weapons and their pros and cons marvel causally drops the fact that he favors a switchblade
Flash and green lantern are talking a show most likely the office they ask captain marvel if hes seen it
"Oh no I dont have a tv sorry"
In the end half the league thinks hes a really polite mafia boss
chapter two snack mmm
John: let me see what you have!
Billy: A knife! ( Turn his attention to a demon or something)
John: Good, aim for the stomach
Billy: (covered in blood) That was fun.
John: (also covered in blood) You did good, I say this calls for ice cream
(Cut to Billy and John eating ice cream, while a horrified shopkeeper watches)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/31835872/chapters/78818827
have this (and cringe at my attempt at humor)
(mmm adventures of tired+bitchass DILF constantine and a swearing sunshine 12 year old kid) this is a horribly long list im sorry; im adding to the "john and shazam are dating misunderstanding" hc i saw when browsing
~
due to billy's reaction at canary telling him that john kissed zantanna, word gets around that john is lowkey polyamorous
~
the engagement party is somewhat awkward cuz john and billy are like: ??? what????
billy, as he sees john being congratulated on his "engagement" by the members of the jl: is john getting married to zantanna?
~
i said this before but when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid
green arrow: how's life with your dads?
billy, in his true form, confused: don't you mean dad?
~
when billy (as shazam) accidentally stubs his toe onto something hard, the jl hears the loudest "FUCK!" from him and thinks that he's gotten into john's swearing habits
superman: i see you have gotten some...habits
billy, who swears like a sailor all the time and thinks superman is mentioning his lessons with john: okay???
This is fantastic and cursed, I love it.
~
Captain Marvel: (Injured)
Superman: (panicking) You’re husband is coming soon, just hang in there.
Captain Marvel, who is too injured to understand what was just said to him: k
~
John: He’s a handful to put to bed.
Captain Marvel: Hey, it’s not my fault I want to keep playing!
The entire league, not knowing Cap was talking about animal crossing: 😶
Remember way back in school’s gonna have to be postponed,,,
OOF
i want to focus on my exams first. after I’m done my first (and only lol) exam, I’ll finish writing and post
So I've been reading a lot of shazam fanfiction lately, you know. As you do. And I noticed something.
Every time I read a "billy is batman's son" fic billy always goes along willingly. And it strikes me as off. Like this is a kid who has lived on the streets since he was like 6. He also has magic and in some iterations his civilian identity is friends with people like john constantine. He is also a superhero working with the justice league and he takes his responsibilities to his city very seriously.
What I'm saying is that the second billy realized that bruce planned to make him leave fawcett city billy would run like a Batman out of hell. The kid would just nope on out of there first chance he got.
I wanna see a fic where billy has some agency! Where billy says no! I don't care who you are or how much money you have, I'm not leaving my city! And then sticking too that. Batman would be on a wild chase around fawcett city looking for his son. Billy would be outsmarting batman via magic and street smarts. All the while neither knows the others identity. Can you tell me how GOOD a fic like that would be?
more of a crack prompt, but do you think billy batson can say emojis out loud because of the wisdom of solomon???? the pronounciation/saying the emojis’s weird and disoriented but for some reason everybody knows whats he’s saying
~
*JL meeting*
batman: captain marvel, are you even listening
billy: ⁉️⁉️⁉️
batman: how in the world
~
*batman and green lantern arguing during a meeting, with obvious sexual tension in the air*
billy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
GL: what the fuck?????
~
green arrow: ok, let’s play guess the word, cap, you go first
billy: k
billy: 🐜
GA:
billy: guess the word
~
billy: 👨, 👁 🥺🍜👉 now
wonder woman: i speak many languages and this is not one of them
WW: someone please translate
billy, absolutely done /w translating his emoji words: man, i need ramen right now
~
billy, frustrated: 🤬🤬🤬
JL:
theres so much potential for this; i could imagine these scenarios happening when billy’s /w the older league members (it’s all vine refs tho)
~
billy: *playing with a toy in the watchtower caf*
green arrow: *accidentally knocks the toy off from billy’s hands*
billy:
billy, looking at GA dead in the eye: ADAM
GA: *confusion*
~
*at a JL meeting*
superman: captain marvel, did you even pay attention?
billy, on auto-pilot: what up, im Jared, i’m 19, and i never fuckin’ learnt how to read
everyone: 👁👄👁
billy: wAIT NO-
~
billy to batman and superman: 2 bros, sitting in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cause they’re not gay
~
billy, sparring with wonder woman: i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me!
wonder woman: *confusion*
~
nobody:
billy, in a high-pitched voice: wHeN WiLl YoU LeARn?! WhEn WilL yOu LeArN THat YoUr AcTiOns HaVe COnSeQuEnCeS?!
i love the idea of all the younger heroes making vine, tiktok, and tumblr meme references and all of the older league members being confused af whereas Billy just be dropping refs right in to everyday conversation like it's nothing making the young heroes lose their minds cuz his comedic timing is impeccable
(mmm adventures of tired+bitchass DILF constantine and a swearing sunshine 12 year old kid) this is a horribly long list im sorry; im adding to the "john and shazam are dating misunderstanding" hc i saw when browsing
~
due to billy's reaction at canary telling him that john kissed zantanna, word gets around that john is lowkey polyamorous
~
the engagement party is somewhat awkward cuz john and billy are like: ??? what????
billy, as he sees john being congratulated on his "engagement" by the members of the jl: is john getting married to zantanna?
~
i said this before but when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid
green arrow: how's life with your dads?
billy, in his true form, confused: don't you mean dad?
~
when billy (as shazam) accidentally stubs his toe onto something hard, the jl hears the loudest "FUCK!" from him and thinks that he's gotten into john's swearing habits
superman: i see you have gotten some...habits
billy, who swears like a sailor all the time and thinks superman is mentioning his lessons with john: okay???
This is fantastic and cursed, I love it.
~
Captain Marvel: (Injured)
Superman: (panicking) You’re husband is coming soon, just hang in there.
Captain Marvel, who is too injured to understand what was just said to him: k
~
John: He’s a handful to put to bed.
Captain Marvel: Hey, it’s not my fault I want to keep playing!
The entire league, not knowing Cap was talking about animal crossing: 😶
when the league sees john with billy (without him being shazam/chilling in his true form), everyone assumes that billy’s john and shazam’s adopted kid
Okay, but imagine everyone thinking Cap. Marvel/Shazam and John is dating because Billy follow John around like a puppy and sometimes he like to bring lunch for his dad in full hero get up. Sure John calls Cap. his son but everyone assume it's a kink thing
That’s a horrific misunderstanding, and justifiably hilarious.
~
Imagine a league member sees John kissing Zatanna and they think he’s cheating on Cap. The whole League goes apeshit because how dare he cheat on our sunshine man.
Meanwhile Billy’s just wondering why Canary sat him down and was like, “I’m sorry to tell you this but I saw John kissing Zatanna.”
And Billy’s like: “Uhh yeah so??????”
~
Someone asks Cap how long he’s been with John, and Billy misinterprets it and says, “I’ve know him for 2 years, but I’ve only been staying with him for the past few months”
“Oh so are you getting rings soon? Or are you waiting on John? Or is that not your style?”
Billy, wondering how they knew about the magic rings he and John were tracking down, “actually we are getting them together”
(Cue JL throwing an engagement party)
~
John talking about Billy: He’s had some issues with fathers in the past.
The Leaguer who now thinks Captain Marvel has a daddy kink: 👁👄👁
it is OOC but this has SO MUCH GOOD POTENTIAL
they also give off the vibes of “i lost my bitchass dog again” meme but the owner/creator of the poster is billy and the dog is constantine because billy unknowingly keeps constantine in check.
constantine has to cut half of the shady shit he’s doing because hes in charge of a magic child now
For gods sake, let John Constantine adopt Billy Batson. Do they have much cannon interactions? No. Are their personalities foils of each-others? YES.
Its literally the trope of ‘bitter badass adopts sunshine child.’
Think of the goddamn shenanigans! (Slams table)
(sorry to my beloved wife for saying this again but.) DILF CONSTANTINE
It’s out of character, you say. It doesn’t make sense, you say. Yeah you’re right, but let me have this.
Please I would like more billy spilling tea.(also this batkid au is so fun you are amazing)
YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND
(Thank you! I've had this idea for a while so I'm very excited to be able to yell about it!)
________________________________
Billy, half naked on top of Bruce Wayne's car: Superman punched Green Arrow today
Damian, getting out of Bruce Wayne's car: Oh?
Billy, slowly sliding off the car: It's cause he was bragging about the fact that he had sex with your dad
Damian:
________________________________
Billy, duct tapped to the wall: Robin stabbed Green Lantern and called him a little bitch, and now Hank is crying
Damian, duct tapping Billy to the wall: Good for Robin.
________________________________
Billy, covered in swamp water: Have you seen Damian?
Cass: *signing* No, why?
Billy: I need to tell him about how Barry accidentally poisoned Diana
Cass:
Cass: *signing* I am intrigued
________________________________
Billy, wearing a strangely fancy suit: Hi, Mr. Wayne sir, can you tell Damian that Hank and Iris are fighting at Denny's tommorow at three a.m?
Bruce:
________________________________
Billy, stuck in a sleeping bag: Superman said that Jon was an angel and Robin was going to burn in hell
Jon, also stuck in a sleeping bag: Nice
Duke, Damian, Cass: *Laughing*
________________________________
Shazam (Billy): Damian said you guys were over rated nerds
Shazam (Billy): Except Diana.
Green Arrow (Oliver Queen): Are you spilling tea, or delivering a message
Shazam (Billy):
Flash (Barry Allen): Don't answer that
wanting this trio to happen at some point since it fulfills an especially certain niche of “damian with 2 black haired blue eyed boys who manage(d) to reach adulthood way faster than he has”
SHAZAM! - Official Teaser Trailer [HD]
Freddy: *Talking to Pedro* You should talk more about your feelings.
Billy: *Interrupting* I talk about my feelings.
Freddy: We know Billy.
Billy: I'm sad
Freddy: We know Billy