Me(a practicing occultist/satanist of 7 years):*approaches my mom with three miniature baphomet statues in one hand and a box cutter in the other*
My Christian mother:😐…can I help you🤨
Me: can you cut me so I can but blood on these
My mom:…
Me:…
My Christian nurse mother: first of all I’m not cutting you with a rusty box cutter
Me:☹️
My mom: second of all there’s a way easier way of doing this that won’t probably lead to an infection *leaves and comes back with an insulin needle*
Me: wait
My mom: *grabs one of my fingers and squeezes it to cut off circulation* hold still
Me: *me freaking out because I think this I gonna hurt* waitwaitwaitwaitwait
Mom:*poke*
Me:
Mom:
Me: oh
Mom: yeah you dramatic weirdo