Me(a Practicing Occultist/satanist Of 7 Years):*approaches My Mom With Three Miniature Baphomet Statues

Reblog if like me you often twist “Mambo number 5” chorus to make it about your ship (s) My favorite version is :

A little bit of Destiel in my life

A little bit of Bi-Dean by my side

A little bit of Cas is all I need

A little bit of Dean is what I see

A little bit of Misha in the sun

A little bit of Jensen all night long

A little bit of Cockles here I am

A little bit of all makes me your man.

Also reblog if because of me you will start doing it from now on

Hey, don’t cry. Free online database of Japanese folk lore

So I remember some of the most wildest porn videos I have seen. I'm not talking kink-wise, I'm talking just dudes with some horses. Hung by the gods themselves.

There was some German dude with a ungodly fucking weapon in between his legs, and he won't show his face he only shows the lower half of his body. And at first I'm like okay this is going to be like this dude doing a solo jerk off or something, because I don't see anybody else.

But then, this dude pulls out it's like a pocket pussy but it also has like a chest and sort of like shoulders? It's like a pocket pussy with a torso and a bit of chest.

This dude squirts on a shit ton of lube, slatters that fucking Master sword, and just Rams that mother fucker in to this poor toy. And I can see the tip literally fucking protruding in between the rib cage of that toy.

And I'm like okay so he doesn't prep the toy or maybe I'm just stupid and you don't have to, and maybe this is going to be one of those hot sensual wanks with a toy.

No dude, I feel so bad for this toy. He was tearing that shit up, and then on top of that I guess the dude has a hard time holding his load? Because the poor toy was literally squirting back out his own baby batter.

And he was getting so particularly rough with the poor toy that his cock popped through halfway at the chest.

And my dumbass was thinking oh wow that toy is so lucky, but then I realized if I were to happen to me I would fucking die.

Never in my life have I ever been so scared of seeing a big dick in a video, until that day.

And then as I'm reminiscing about it, that just reminds me of Konig from call of duty I don't know why. But I always imagine that character who has a fucking demon in between his pants ripping apart toys with it.

happy valentines day

“Hell no, I could kill you where you stand. I’m no pet, I’m a married man.”

THIS. THIS IS WHY EPIC IS GOING PLACES. THIS WHY ODYSSEUS IS THE SINGLE MOST AMAZING PROTAGONIST EVER. THIS ONE LINE. DO YOU KNOW WHY???

Alexander Hamilton, protagonist of the hit musical of the 2010’s: How could I say no to her? My wife will never know. No one has to know.

Also Alexander: This is the only way to protect my legacy. The Reynold’s Pamphlet.

Odysseus: Hell no, I could kill you where you stand. I’m no pet, I’m a married man.

Also Odysseus: You plotted to kill my son. You planned to rape my wife. All of you are going to die.

Life has been hitting so hard, I can’t even clown around

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself