Okay first for some context: I used to sh. I did it for almost 2 years but i’ve stopped and I’m currently 4 months clean!! I have scars all over both my arms and upper thighs. I have some in other places but those are less visible.
Anyway, I’m so happy because this week I took a big step in recovery; I wore shorts and a t-shirt to school! This was my first time ever wearing a t-shirt without covering up since i started sh.
Btw my left arm looks “worse” than my right arm so when i was wearing a t-shirt I was mostly covering that side with a jacket but some times I wasn’t so i was close. But I had my right arm completely out and although it has less scars and less noticeable ones I’m still proud of myself. Right now I feel almost completely comfortable with showing my right arm maybe even without bracelets on but not my left one yet but i’ll get there soon.
And for shorts I also mostly had my scars out but since my shorts go up kinda when I sit i covered it with a jacket a bit but it’s okay. I have 1 big scar on my thigh that’s pretty low down which is probably the only reason I’m uncomfortable wearing shorts. The other ones are pretty small and less noticeable.
I think the reason I was scared to show my scars is because I thought people would judge me and say things about me or think bad things but so far no one has said anything and I also realize I can’t hear other people’s thoughts so even if they were thinking about it I wouldn’t know. Also i shouldn’t care what others think of me.
It was so random when I started being brave enough to do this. I think it’s because I have this school trip for orchestra to an amusement park coming up and we have to wear t-shirts and the past 2 years i’ve worn a long sleeve shirt under it but this year I wanted to just wear the t-shirt. So now i’m kind of like practicing wearing short sleeves until I’m comfortable enough to maybe wear it on the trip. I might even wear shorts too.
Lastly, I think another reason i feel more comfortable is because I’m starting to lose weight and rn I’m not like fat but I am a bit overweight. And the crazy thing is i’m barely even exercising and i’m still losing weight because i’m being calorie deficit. I used to think that i’d have to do these crazy daily workouts but i really don’t need to. I think I started around mid April and so far I’ve lost 9lbs!! I don’t feel that much different but I hope i start seeing the difference soon. But anyway i feel like when I lose weight i’ll be more comfortable in clothes.
Thanks for reading all the way through if you did <3. It was very relaxing and peaceful writing this. I will be updating on my progress for both weight loss and wearing shorts and short sleeves in the future.