poetry every day. day 8
a collaboration of all generations
we came together to suffer
i spent my days awake in my bedroom
calling and crying to my mother
we all prayed to god
but we said the wrong name
i prayed that nothing will be the same as early days
we scream loud to the rich deaf choir
as they sleep soundly in the quiet
i sometimes wish i wasn’t so blind
for i am holding back my power in my vulnerable times
this love isn’t defiant
but true love ends in violence
but this is life
this is june
this is fine
this is youth.
POETRY every DAY. Day 6
she waited for me for hours
sat in a field pulling apart the flowers
and im sure you could look at that as a metaphor
but nothing is that serious when it’s about her
we talked about her boyfriend and how she liked girls
we talked about how i feel disconnected from the world
we laughed till our jaws were in pain
but i knew then life wouldn’t be the same
and we smoked till our lungs turned sour
we didn’t realise the time
we had been there for hours
talking about life
and how we wanted to leave
it felt weird as my heart was on my sleeve
and i finally felt like i could breathe.
we said our goodbyes
and now i’m home
and for the first time i don’t feel so alone
// went outside for the first time for days to sit in a field with a friend (social distanced obvs) and we spoke for hours about almost everything. dark deep stuff but in a positive light. i feel so normal now.
poetry every day. day 5
how can a father hide so much shame.
as he distanced himself from his soon to be child
he didn’t think about my future pain.
as he calls his sons mother seven years later
to scream and complain
that his soon “to be solider” enjoyed taking part in ballet
as of now i’m living my teens
people say i’ve got his face.
i just count myself lucky
that i don’t have his brain,
as he calls me monthly to talk about his busy day.
how can a father show so much shame
even though he lives so far away
he didn’t think twice whether i was the one to feel so guilty
all the things he could have taught me
the only lesson given
is a demonstration
on how a father
shouldn’t
be.
//yeah happy father’s day :/ i don’t know if its okay to be this open and vulnerable on tumblr tbh i’m still kinda new to all this but yaaa. masculinity is overrated. i’m taking all the issues revolving around my dad and turning them into lessons and as a guide on what a man should and mostly shouldn’t be.