version of spn where dean is openly bisexual the entire time and definitely fucks a priest during a job and sam is does his judgmental little "dude" and dean is like "i already went to hell once man,, what's the worst that could happen" and everytime there's a new bad guy or apocalypse sam is like "this is bc you fucked a priest" and eventually he says it in front of Cas who does his little squint and head tilt and just
"You what?"
if sam tried to get a normalcore job he would land in one of those everyone’s a family startups and things would actually probably go okay until they did their first friday “bonding event” and went to the nearest axe-throwing bar and despite having already drunk like seven beers which is making all of his coworkers start calculating bmi to blood alcohol ratios and coming to the conclusion that this guy can drink sam manages to hit a bullseye with every one of his axes and even break the target a little from the force of his throwing. when asked how he was possibly able to do that he absolutely fumbles the bag and laughs out “just got good at chopping off heads, you know?” which makes everyone think maybe that WASN’T a joke and it’s only because his coworker ethan hit “reply all” on an email talking about how one of the ladies in HR is pretty sure this guy’s real name is sam winchester and he’s wanted for pretty much everything that sam doesn’t show up to work on monday where an FBI team is hanging around his cubicle. once he’s moved to a new state he leaves them a one star review on glassdoor
dean is the kind of guy who watches fight club, completely misses the point and thinks tyler is the coolest man dude, but sam is like you know what? no. i’m not saying anything. i’m saving that conversation for when he really pisses me off. then he’ll see. then i’ll ruin fight club for him.