I need to out of this school.
There's nothing worth stressing over when there's only one month and a half left. These past few weeks I've been going nowhere, especially after getting a night shift job at Dollar Tree. "A job's a job, there's will be lazy ä$$hats galore so you gotta deal with it." But I'm sick of that motto. I'm sick of my dad saying this same degrading shït over and over again. I'm sick of these fūçkwåds at school being overdramatic anytime I walk past them cuz I got acne (aka ugly) and ig I stink now (yes. I'm self conscious abt that and figuring out how to stop it). And I physically, mentally, and emotionally can't deal with this. Say what u want. I can brush this crap off but for how long? It's draining and exhausting. Just like how ppl don't like me and can't deal me, I can't deal with them. But ig I'm the problem when I say that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Time for me to get personal, these past two months are some of the worst months in my four years of high-school. Hell not even that, all of my four years were shitty. Freshman year was trashy, I dont remember anything from Sophmore year (thx c0víd), Junior year was just... no, and now my Senior year is already off to a bad start. And on top of that, my urge to meet new ppl is hanuting me again. Like I definitely show signs of social anxiety (although I don't wanna self diagnose myself) and for my entire life, meeting new people is a struggle. And no not the "I hAtE tALkiNG tO lArGe CrOwDs" or "I HaTe pEoPLe" shit. I actually mean I physically cannot talk to people, whether it's a large or small group. Fuck I can't talk to another person unless they do it first, and even then I can't hold a convo for more than three seconds. And don't get me started with crushes. Never had a significant other. Ever. And the last time I caught feelings, he thought I was a creep. I'm literally months away from being legal and if I cannot talk to or ask people abt anything then this'll be the death of me.
Okay then. Try these things. (mainly for neurodivergent people but really its for anyone who has a problem but Doesn't Know What)
SHORT TERM- i feel bad right now and need immediate relief
Get off your phone. Seriously
Drink a glass of water
Eat something with protein
Shower if you haven't already
Brush your teeth
Tidy your space a bit
Open a window and stretch your legs or go outside on a walk if you can
Say something nice to someone
Put on some music. Something relatively happy
Hug a living being (pet, sibling, parent, etc)
Change clothes or feel a nice texture or listen to some 8D music. Sometimes its a sensory thing
Get something small done. Reply to an email or something
Do something creative. Draw, write, sing, whatever
Learn some cool new information
Talk to someone. Phone a friend, talk to your parents, text someone, etc
Read a damn book (fanfic counts)
Sleep, or if you can't manage that, try to relax or meditate for 5 or 10 mins
If you have over excerted yourself physically mentally or emotionally, gove yourself a break.
LONG TERM - ive been feeling bad for a while and want to get a bit better overall
Try to talk to someone about life generally. You might just figure it out
Stop making suicide jokes. Yes, that includes ironically saying "i want to die" at any minor inconvenience. for me, this was changing it to "im going to commit a war crime" or "I'm going to buy a completely unnecessary amount of clothes". Be ridiculous with it. Keep the comedic value.
Stop being self depricating. Failed a maths test? "oh im just really bad at maths" turns to "my maths skills are unmatched. im a genius" it can be sarcastic. then youll get used to complimenting yourself and will do it unironically out of habit
Change something. For me this was cutting my hair. i felt out of control. i cut my hair because i couldn't do anything else. this could be joining a club, buying new clothes, dying your hair, choosing a new perfume or deodorant. Anything that makes you feel in control
I might add more to the long term list in the future but this is it for now. You will get better, the silly little guy on the internet believes in you <3