Su Thoughts - Blog Posts
the combination of jojo and warframe as my current interests has me feeling so autistic, in the best possible way
PSA: Artists! Please avoid putting your painting water next to your drinking water. You WILL mix them up at some point. 🩵
I need to get up so I can go to the bank, but….more importantly, I need to get up so I can enjoy instant noodles
I’m not at the club 🧐 because the club is in me ❤️ The club is my heart 😉 There are so many people in it ☺️ and idk what is going on in there 😦
dear universe, can I please stop having out-of-body experiences? can i have peace?
fun times in the co-op today :>
I like Collei and Freminet as unlikely friends/pen pals personally, but I can understand the pairing too. It's fun and has a comforting vibe, especially since they've both been through so many awful things and it's nice to imagine them healing. And it's sort of like, if you appreciate one character, you're likely to like the other as well.
I feel like Freminet would have the same music taste as me (I think, as I'm listening to Galileo Galilei in this moment). He'd like Cavetown and sasanomaly and harumakigohan and Porter Robinson and Mitski
I love the idea of Freminet starting to participate in his siblings' magic shows. Lyney would say, "and now I shall make my brother disappear!" and at that moment, when the audience looks over to where Fremi was, he would have already vanished (he got stage fright)
Update, I slept and I'm feeling normal again lol. Like, it's okay that I'm changing, and every day I'm learning how to live as best as I can. that's sort of what life is about, isn't it?
Maybe it's partly because I'm in my early 20s, but genuinely, there are a lot of times that I'm not able to tell whether I'm being true to myself. Whether I'm just a colder, watered down version of the girl who used to feel so alive. Who enjoyed things vigorously and wrote fanfiction. So gung-ho about life, regardless of all her fears and all her (perceived) failures. But then, who is "myself" anyway? Maybe I've been changed. Maybe I've changed. Life has changed me. I have changed me. An unfortunate dalliance with illness, and the chronic cough that haunts me in its aftermath, has changed me. However minor or major, these things are like bricks stacking on top of one another, forming an ever-changing pyramid. And there are, of course, positive things among the negative things. It's just that sometimes, I feel like a body of text that has gone through a few too many permutations of translation. They are all versions of me, but... how much of the original intent is actually there? Was there an intent to begin with?
At this point in time, I feel more closed off than I ever have, yet just as afraid as I've always been. Perhaps I am more afraid. Where is the naive and innocent "me", the version that smiled more easily? I'd like to see her again. I'd like to tell her to be careful. There are times when I miss her so much.