Why is this so accurate?
HUMANISTS:
Expectation- Grow! Strive! Excel!
Reality- Government of, by, and for the most insufferable shitheads you knew in high school
BRILLISTS:
Expectation- Unlock the mysteries of the human psyche!
Reality- Your president is a smug sack of shit who’s also computer-racist
EUROPEANS:
Expectation- Unbreakable bonds of cultural tradition
Reality- “You seized my borderlands, you executed my hero, you conquered me a thousand years ago, and I remember.”
COUSINS:
Expectation- Altruism, community, common good
Reality- Some rando’s crashing on your couch six out of seven nights and it’d be too awkward to say anything at this point
UTOPIANS:
Expectation- Join our constellations and build the future! Also, Fursona-Pokémon are real and you can have one!
Reality- I Fucking Love Science + ENDLESS SCRUPULOSITY HELL
MASONS:
Expectation- Power. Order. Eternal tradition.
Reality- Facebook feed is endless unironic “when did THIS [modern architecture] become hotter than THIS [Byzantine spires]”
MITSUBISHI:
Expectation- Noble stewards of our terrestrial inheritance
Reality- Everyone’s least-favorite rent-seeker, and you don’t even have close to enough property to have a say in anything
WHITELAWS:
Expectation: Morally upright, clean living, stable communities
Reality: Mormonism but without the pretense of spiritual development
GRAYLAWS:
Expectation- Join the one group that isn’t directly run by lunatics
Reality- Somehow even more milquetoast than just becoming a Cousin because your ba'pas are
BLACKLAWS:
Expectation- Proud, honorable libertines, shining example of voluntary self-governance
Reality- The worst possible overlap in the Venn diagram of ancaps and LARPers