Too Like the Lightning is now out free as an ebook for the next three days (ends midnight, March 23rd) through Tor! So if you’re curious what all this is about, (like me) picked up a physical copy but would still like to have an ebook, or for any other reason want a free ebook, check it out!
Edit: link.
I would totally attend a Utopian service.
HUMANISTS:
Expectation- Grow! Strive! Excel!
Reality- Government of, by, and for the most insufferable shitheads you knew in high school
BRILLISTS:
Expectation- Unlock the mysteries of the human psyche!
Reality- Your president is a smug sack of shit who’s also computer-racist
EUROPEANS:
Expectation- Unbreakable bonds of cultural tradition
Reality- “You seized my borderlands, you executed my hero, you conquered me a thousand years ago, and I remember.”
COUSINS:
Expectation- Altruism, community, common good
Reality- Some rando’s crashing on your couch six out of seven nights and it’d be too awkward to say anything at this point
UTOPIANS:
Expectation- Join our constellations and build the future! Also, Fursona-Pokémon are real and you can have one!
Reality- I Fucking Love Science + ENDLESS SCRUPULOSITY HELL
MASONS:
Expectation- Power. Order. Eternal tradition.
Reality- Facebook feed is endless unironic “when did THIS [modern architecture] become hotter than THIS [Byzantine spires]”
MITSUBISHI:
Expectation- Noble stewards of our terrestrial inheritance
Reality- Everyone’s least-favorite rent-seeker, and you don’t even have close to enough property to have a say in anything
WHITELAWS:
Expectation: Morally upright, clean living, stable communities
Reality: Mormonism but without the pretense of spiritual development
GRAYLAWS:
Expectation- Join the one group that isn’t directly run by lunatics
Reality- Somehow even more milquetoast than just becoming a Cousin because your ba'pas are
BLACKLAWS:
Expectation- Proud, honorable libertines, shining example of voluntary self-governance
Reality- The worst possible overlap in the Venn diagram of ancaps and LARPers
Why is this so accurate?
HUMANISTS:
Expectation- Grow! Strive! Excel!
Reality- Government of, by, and for the most insufferable shitheads you knew in high school
BRILLISTS:
Expectation- Unlock the mysteries of the human psyche!
Reality- Your president is a smug sack of shit who’s also computer-racist
EUROPEANS:
Expectation- Unbreakable bonds of cultural tradition
Reality- “You seized my borderlands, you executed my hero, you conquered me a thousand years ago, and I remember.”
COUSINS:
Expectation- Altruism, community, common good
Reality- Some rando’s crashing on your couch six out of seven nights and it’d be too awkward to say anything at this point
UTOPIANS:
Expectation- Join our constellations and build the future! Also, Fursona-Pokémon are real and you can have one!
Reality- I Fucking Love Science + ENDLESS SCRUPULOSITY HELL
MASONS:
Expectation- Power. Order. Eternal tradition.
Reality- Facebook feed is endless unironic “when did THIS [modern architecture] become hotter than THIS [Byzantine spires]”
MITSUBISHI:
Expectation- Noble stewards of our terrestrial inheritance
Reality- Everyone’s least-favorite rent-seeker, and you don’t even have close to enough property to have a say in anything
WHITELAWS:
Expectation: Morally upright, clean living, stable communities
Reality: Mormonism but without the pretense of spiritual development
GRAYLAWS:
Expectation- Join the one group that isn’t directly run by lunatics
Reality- Somehow even more milquetoast than just becoming a Cousin because your ba'pas are
BLACKLAWS:
Expectation- Proud, honorable libertines, shining example of voluntary self-governance
Reality- The worst possible overlap in the Venn diagram of ancaps and LARPers