Tankyaps - Blog Posts

“But ur autistic that’s so fun and silly” bro I act permanently 5 years old whenever I’m mildly interested in something. Do you understand how damaging that was to young me? I’m physically incapable of masking, do you understand how dangerous that is? Do you understand how close I was to being institutionalized? Autistic people are still being demonized. I talk to little kids like I’m a little kid sometimes, do you know how many times that’s made me be called a pedophile? I’m 15 years old. I’m 15 and being treated like a 30 year old man who likes kids. I don’t like kids, (like that) I simply am a kid. I’m autistic, I’m not crying in the corner because I’m on drugs, I haven’t eaten in two days because I have no safe foods and I dropped 5 pounds and the music is too loud so I froze here in the back of a target.

Intro post :p

Hihi! I’m Tala Silas, some ppl call me Tank! I’m 15 (and a half) (yes I’m immature enough to add the half) and I’m a fucking NERD. I love love love love LOVE linguistics, I’m hard of hearing and an asl student. I’m based in the US!

Autistic, ADHD, hella traumatized and v anxious (yes I can use this experience for ff)

wlw but men are cool too!

My gender is none of ur business

Punk?? At least trying!

Tsalagi (uncultured asf tho, pls help me) and Sicilian gal from SoCal

I write fanfic! Rn I’m willing to write for almost anyone you request!

FANDOMS:

Deadly Class (comics)

Marvel (mcu) (heavy focus on Yelena and Bob)

The true lives of the fabulous killjoys (National Anthem and California)

Ethel Cain (idk who wants Ethel Cain ff but I guess I could write it?)

TWD (I’m on season 3 rn but I’ll update this page every time that changes)

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Im also SOOOOSOSOSO socially awkward but yeahhh

I’m a otherkin or therian but not a physical one

I’m a wolfdog!

Bjj girlie, aspiring archer (gotta get over the aversion to getting back into it tho)

DMS ARE OPEN! REQUESTS ARE OPEN! PLEASE TALK TO ME!!

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My main knowledge bases (please ask me abt them):

Leopard Sharks, Orcas, Great Whites

Sleep Token

Critical Race Theory (mostly out of boredom but always down to discuss)

Trauma and mental health in relation to political issues

Autism and ADHD

NBC Hannibal (2013-2015)

The Daniel tiger episode where they go to a crayon factory

Also please stop asking me about your family in Gaza I’m very sorry but I don’t know which ones are real and which ones aren’t. I’m very sorry I know your families are starving but mine is too, I cannot donate and I am more sorry that grifters are taking your plight and using it to scam others I truly am.

I need to start reading bios I always accidentally interact w 18+ blogs 😔😔

THIS. I’m so sick of being mentally ill and hearing “oh my god I do that to!1!!” Uhm no the FUCK you don’t. You don’t dissociate when you see a Honda pilot. Fuck off

found this today

Please use these terms correctly. Not doing so will deeply harm the people who actually have experienced trauma, gaslighting, triggers, and people who have NPD.

Guys I did it AGAIN 😔😔 I lost another bob fic. You would think I learned but I don’t learn anything. OKAYS. So in this one THEY DO TAXES. Please 🙏🙏

God bless California

[image description: a costco interior with a very large selection of Mexican Coca Cola in glass bottles for $35.69. End id]

Guys I love my gf so much. She’s so sweet and lovely and for a little while she wasn’t being herself but she is again and she’s so loving and she’s so silly and she texted me as I was making this post. I got a sunburn and she went “yeah well wear sunscreen next time honey” and then I was complaining abt how sunburns are ugly and she was like “the next time I see you I’m kissing where that burn was because it’s not ugly” LIKE- she’s so SWEET AND SOFT AND LOVING and she does this thing where she’ll try and be nonchalant and then her friends will be like “she took asl for you not because it’s easier but because you communicate in asl” and OH MY GOD??

“But there are other genders” but I want this one. I want this identity to be mine but it can’t be because I’m not fucking Tsalagi enough so I can’t have that. I don’t get the privilege of growing up in a community but I get all the generational issues

Moots I’m sorry I stalk your posts like we’re friends or something I just am strange and you guys post a lot. Mostly Kade and riv. It’s so fucking late I’m sorry I forgot ur name secret sauce moot

I love (fucking hate) being transgender because yes I am trans. Yes queer. Tis I the tranny. I use she they pronouns yet I am still 100% no gender. I’m not boy not girl not anything I simply am. I’m the bit. I am the devil incarnate. I’m a dog and I’m messy running eyeliner in a bar bathroom with coke still on the counter. My gender is explained in aestheticized images of the idealized version of myself and my trauma. I wanna call myself two spirit but I’m not native enough for that. So I’m just lost :(

I need to choke someone with my thighs.

Being audhd is so weird because what do you mean I had a full sensory meltdown and the only thing that could calm me down was MINECRAFT??? Excuse me??

I love being silly and existing.

Like I go by many names and I’m all of them.

I’m Tala.

My full name is Tala Silas

I’m bear and redd and tank and boots and bad and every other dumbass name I’ve ever been given. I’m everything I ever have been

I promised a part two so here it goes. My letter to America and racism culture within Italian American culture.

50 years ago I wouldn’t be white. I mean, I’m not white. But I wouldn’t have had white on my passport (don’t ask me why it’s white on my passport) because I’m Italian. I’m not even Italian I’m Sicilian but to most Americans that’s the same thing. They think I’m being pompous and obnoxious about where I’m from. Like I’m more special than other Italian Americans. But like.. no? The opposite in fact??

Back in Italy, Sicilians aren’t white. Sicilians are dirty. They’re mixed and disgusting and their skin is too dark and they’re too poor. Back in Italy, my accent alone tells people what they need to know. So how does that relate to me, here in America?

In America, existing is confusing. My mother (the whitewashed Tsalagi woman) thinks I’m white on my dad’s side. “But Tala why the fuck does this matter?” I hear someone asking. Because you need to understand the difference between being Italian and Sicilian. It boils down to the fact that Sicily was colonized a trillion times. We had to do genetic testing for medical reasons, here’s what I found out. I’m Arab, black, unspecified Asian (dunno why they couldn’t specify), Greek, Italian, and ofc white and Native American. Those last two are from mummy dearest. Everything else is from my dad. Sicily is a mixed race culture. That’s why Sicilians look so different from each other. Because it’s not a genetic set, it’s mixing races. It’s a beautiful thing and a beautiful culture, but being Sicilian doesn’t make you white. You can be a white Sicilian the same way I’m Arab-Greek Sicilian, but it’s not an automatic designation.

If you’re sitting here wondering why the hell that matters, dw so did my friends before I explained it. Imma give you some examples of things that happened to me.

In meetings at the balboa park house of Italy, saying I’m Sicilian got me a ticket to having change my shirt bc a 40 year old woman purposely spilled her wine on me.

In 2023 I got called a Dago (a slur I haven’t heard used as one since my incredibly fucking Sicilian history teacher explained its use in America back in the day) because I had a Sicilian flag on the back of my jacket.

So yeah racism against Sicilians is still a thing and I’m tired of some of y’all acting like it isn’t.

Pretty please I need cool people to join my pack and by my pack I mean I want to be in a pack. I need mutuals and we can be a pack. I’m not the pack leader we don’t have a pack leader

Kade will you join my pack :(

Absolutely devastating to not be able to lick out of a mug. What the fuck

Miss Josephine Barry I love you dearly please don’t ever stop being a lesbian

Bro im ngl I don’t know my name. I know my name in my heart is Tala Storm. I know my real first name is Matthea. I know my last name (which I’m obvs not saying) but like bro why is having a name so hard. I have no name. I am nothing and everything. I am one with the Mother Earth

I just wanna say.. Bob “Sentry” Reynolds and Joaquin Torres and Lt. Robert “Bob” Floyd and Lt. Mickey “Fanboy” Garcia. They’re the same dude I’m ngl. Okay not the exact same. But they’re awful similar. Kinda fucks ngl

“Not enough Bob/sentry fics so I’m just gonna use chat gpt” hey friend 🩷 I’m a licensed a lot of things and I am interested in helping you w assisted suicide 🩷🩷

There are some VERY interesting dynamics in mixed whitewashed Native culture and I’m here to be pissy about them.

To start, I’m a mixed Sicilian/Tsalagi person. “Oh but what or who is a Tsalagi” great question! Cherokee folks.

With that in mind, let’s continue!

I think it very interesting how society treats native folks. My grandpops moved from the Rez when he was like two. He never knew his culture, because his parents didn’t want him to. They wanted him to be a tan white guy. Because that assimilation into the white culture of the 50’s and 60’s was a good choice in their eyes. So he didn’t get stories, he didn’t get tattoos, he didn’t get to go to powwows or hang around with the cousins and their dogs. He was in rural Oklahoma. So how does that relate to me?

I didn’t know I’m Native American. I didn’t know I was anything until one day my grandpops told me that his parents didn’t move him off the reservation so I could go around acting a damn fool. I didn’t know that there was people to connect with, stories to tell. I didn’t even know what Tsalagi meant. I didn’t know what the nut porridge we ate in winter was called. I’ve learned more from my school experience than my home experience on what it means to be native. I’ve learned more from the perspective of trying to be a “white” ally than anything else.

So give people grace. If grandma was a Cherokee princess, whatever. Yeah, don’t gotta listen to them. But if grandma was adopted out to a white family, leave them alone. So what if they call themselves Cherokee? So fucking what if they have no clue what the language is or what the stories are or what the food is or the culture or what the fuck a ribbon skirt is. Leave them alone. Better yet, educate them. (Not you white people, I’m talking about actual native people here) Tell them your stories! Tell them the traditions! Show them the food and the regalia and everything else they missed in their family’s choice to assimilate. Show them our culture.

There will be a part two to this about Sicilian culture and how it translates to being American where you aren’t dirty or “colored” (direct translated quote) you’re just fucking white and get over yourself (that’s the view on Sicilians not the view I hold as a Sicilian)

My 9 year old kid brother asked me if I thought Steve’s wife from the Minecraft movie was pretty. I said I didn’t see the movie, who is his wife? Motherfucker googled a picture of JASON MOMOA?? I now am wondering if I should see the movie..?

Too much of a little bitch to go download c.ai to check this but are there ai bots of Toto Wolff? Or fanfictions of him? This has just occurred to me and I’m scared for the next generation of teenage folks

No because I love this. When someone asks me anything abt asl or pse or Deaf culture I get so excited because it’s my culture!! It’s my language!! I get so happy!!

nothing more flattering than someone saying "oh don't get her going" in reference to you when a topic you're passionate about is brought up

“SEBASTIAN STAN IS BALD OMG” guys he has good bone structure who cares. He looks fine, your bum ass bf needs a wig tho

I wanna do this so I’m doin in dammit!

Tbh I’m just a dog. Otherkin is cool, therian is cool. Dog is best.

I am a big scary kinda dog! Somewhere between wolfdog, husky, Malinios, German shepherd. Maybe a mix!

No niche or obscure type I’m just a dog lol!

Top food gotta be steak tbh. Any kind, esp the little bits! Also pheasant but I don’t really like it so :(

Gotta go black and brown because that’s my colors!

I own one tail and one set of ears but I’m looking into a second set!

Best thing abt being nonhuman? Hmmm… gotta be being able to be silly and live freely. Don’t gotta worry about this weird human shit because I’m a dog! I just dog around!

Least favorite is species dysphoria :( I am also a tranny so the combo of both is straight up evillll

I like to go run around, I play catchies sometimes too and that’s fun! I also love hide and seek because it fills the hunter space in my brain!

I don’t associate a ton of music but any muse song is always a good bet lol

I’m basic and boring so nope :3 I wanna get bones tho one day

I dress pretty beachy or tac inspired tbh so maybe? I like to pretend I’m a working dog who goes to work! But like, bomb sniffer dog! Not military bomb sniffer dog tho, community bomb sniffer dog! Mostly because I don’t think a community has a need for drug sniffing dogs..

Not a furry but furries r cool!

Not gonna even try to draw

Water drank!

nonhuman asks

what term(s) do you prefer to be referred to as (otherkin, therian, nonhuman, etc.)?

what are you(r kintypes/theriotypes)?

most niche/obscure 'type?

what foods do you associate with your 'type(s)?

what colors do you associate with your 'type(s)?

do you own any gear? if so, what is it?

best/favorite thing about being nonhuman?

worst/least favorite thing about being nonhuman?

what activities help you connect with your 'type(s)?

do you associate any music with your 'type(s)? do you have a playlist?

do you collect anything besides wearable gear that you associate with your 'type(s), such as plushies or merch?

do your 'type(s) influence your sense of style or the way you dress?

would you consider yourself a furry? if so, do you have a fursona? is your fursona based on one of your 'type(s)?

draw or share your artwork of your 'type(s)?

this isnt a question but a request that you drink some water!

authors note: feel free to reblog! other beings can ask you questions from this list, or you can simply answer them all yourself.

TW Species Dysphoria vent :(

Time for my nightly bitch about my retainers and rubber bands. I hate them. This is an internal muzzle and I can’t breathe and I can’t feel anything and it hurts and I’m a dog and dogs don’t feel like this and dogs don’t have these problems. Where is my muzzle and where are my paws and where is my tail and my ears

Oh to be a “woman” in the year 1901 in English high society who sneaks out sometimes to play little boy with her most esteemed friend and trusted confidant, where they (17 years of age) dress up as boys, pinning their hair into the masculine style and hiding it under their caps, dirt and grease smudged on their faces, speaking in hushed tones about the women of the red light district they almost want to hire while looking through books they might consider buying for 5 cents

Being a dog is so silly because I have two moods and they’re attack dog and sleeeeeeeepy puppy mimimimi I’m so loveable please gimme treats pretty please

Absolutely foul thing it is to be a dog who needs dental stuff because what do you MEAN my muzzle has METAL in it and it HURTS and I’m not allowed to take it out and it impedes my biting ability :(