danny: You sound thrilled
danny: I'm honestly so sorry to all the women in ur life lol
danny: I mean yeah dude I would also leave u if I was her, wouldn't u?
danny: What's ur plan
leo: I'm thrilled just hearing for you just makes it sound too real
leo: well, at least I have some
leo: I've got to figure out what's going on between Blake, Serenity, and I
leo: then I'll tell the Mrs.
danny: I'm not starting anything I'm just observing that u have the right dad energy
danny: My man I don't think it's the gods picking on u I think u just make terrible decisions lol
danny: Literally how did u not know they knew each other
leo: ugh I'm a dad
leo: I basically haven't seen (my ex) Serenity in ten years, and I've never met any of (baby mama) Blake's friends except her roommate
leo: I know it's a mess, and that's without telling Vihana
leo: I know she's going to leave me the second I tell her
danny: wait
danny: ur saying that as she was literally giving birth she called you to tell u ur the dad? I hope I'm not understanding this wrong bc that's so fucking metal dude wtf
danny: honestly this is perfect since ur already a dad joke expert
leo: she was in labor but technically yes
leo: don't start with me, danny-boy
leo: but that's not all because of course because the gods love to pick on me
leo: my ex-girlfriend is my baby mama's best friend and she was there too
leo: and no, I didn't know they even knew each other
danny: Whoa
danny: Did she tell u this?
leo: AS THE BABY WAS LEAVING HER BODY MAN
leo: I'm a dad, she has my hair
danny: How could I forget the hot baker
danny: Did u do some fucked up kinky shit with food bc I do not want to hear about it
leo: and that's a story I'll never tell
leo: well, remember how she was pregnant and she told me that the baby wasn't mine?
...
leo: it's mine
danny: Little offended I wasn't invited to the funeral but ok
danny: What'd u do now 🤨
leo: something I wouldn't recommend you do in this life
leo: do you remember me talking about this hot baker?
leo: pour one out for me, buddy, cause I'm so dead