This Is Hilarious - Blog Posts
this song is the 8th deadly sin and the 8th virtue at the same time xtratuna you can have my firstborn child
Hobbs & Shaw(s): The Onion Edition
So one of my neighbors has a lawn Roomba or whatever they're called, and this thing trundles around looking like a background robot in the background of the original trilogy, and ABSOLUTELY BAFFLING THE DOGS.
They have concluded, I think, that it's some kind of prey animal because right after this video ended they decided to crouch down and stalk it, which means I'm 90% sure I'm going to have to stop Arwen from eating it at some point.
"Flash take the controls," Hal ordered, opening the hatch at the back.
Barry blinked, noticing the empty pilot's seat and zooming into it, shouting, "Are you crazy? I don't know how to fly this thing?!"
"What?" Hal demanded. Something exploded on the planet.
"I'm a forensic scientist!" Barry yelled, wildly pressing buttons. "Isn't there some kind of autopilot?" Looks back to see Hal gone.
Their spaceship proceeds to nose dive towards the alien planet, and Barry starts screaming--
Batman paused the footage, turning to the newer members. "And that's why flight training is now mandatory for all members of the League."
This is how Nightwing #43 happened right?
Nightwing: „Aw, they’re bonding.“
Wally: „Wanna bet on who's gonna win?“
Nightwing: „... sure!“
original sound
And now Orion is a Prime. Get ready.
hair braiding is essential for bffls especially when they are trying to take over the world
When the whole party is down but your bard is up
I have seen this joke for a while and I haven't got the joke until now.
Because I’ve lost control of my life
🌟 RANKING REMUS LUPIN’S BEST "WEREWOLF CARD" EXCUSES 🌟
🥉 TIER 3: LOW EFFORT, BUT IT WORKS
5. "I'm experiencing a rare sensitivity to [current weather]."
Used For: Avoiding outdoor activities (changes reason based on conditions)
Effectiveness: 7/10 - Teachers assume it's a chronic condition and stop questioning
4. "My circadian rhythms require recalibration."
Used For: Skipping early morning classes
Effectiveness: 6/10 - McGonagall's eyebrow twitches but she allows it once per lunar cycle
🥈 TIER 2: MEDIUM-EFFORT LIES WITH A STRAIGHT FACE
3. "The moon’s in retrograde." (Not a real thing.)
Used For: Avoiding having to watch Quidditch practices (James buys it; Sirius cackles).
Effectiveness: 8/10 – James panics and asks if he needs chicken soup.
2. "I've developed an unfortunate reaction to [nearby object]." (gestures vaguely)
Used For: Leaving uncomfortable situations
Effectiveness: 8/10 - Works best in potions class where plausible accidents happen
🏆 TIER 1: ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECES OF DECEIT
1. "I'm presently engaged in critical lunar research."
Used For: Leaving any situation with an air of academic importance
Effectiveness: ∞/10 - Works best when said while holding a chocolate bar as if it's research equipment
0. "I’m legally required to lie down." (No such law exists.)
Used For: Everything. Everything.
Effectiveness: ∞/10 – Even McGonagall lets it slide once.
HONORABLE MENTION (THE ONE TIME IT FAILED):
"I can’t, I’m allergic to... this conversation."
Used On: Sirius, who immediately throws a pillow at him.
Verdict: "Try harder, Moony."
GET HIS ASS OZZY
This got even weirder and weirder. Also, I got this from Reddit that post by Raven_Shepherd.
IT GOT BETTER
IM FUCKING DYING I LOVE THIS BOT
IM FUCKING DYING I LOVE THIS BOT
