TID The Infernal Devices - Blog Posts

Cecily: Will is in trouble again!

Gabriel: Yeah, well, I broke my leg… what did he do?

Cecily: He hit someone with a car. How did you break your leg?

Gabriel: … sOMEoNe hit me with a car

Will, in the background: Lightworm, are you coming or not? I don't care, but I'm going to pay the Silent City a visit now, with or without you.

Will: I was BORN a winner! I didn’t even need nine months to be born, I came out in seven!

Jem: That’s… that’s not good…

Will [every time he’s broke]: I’d be an amazing prostitute

Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?

Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.

Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”

Charlotte: Will, the assignment was to bring something important to you

Will: Yes, and I did!

Charlotte: I meant an object, not Jem

Jem: You’re right

Will: That’s… that’s an unusual phrase for you, my beloved parabatai. Did you just learn it?

Jem: You didn’t let me finish

Will: I had a hunch

Gabriel: Just be casual, try some light flirting

Gideon: Got it

*later*

Sophie: Nice work out there, high five!

*high fives Gideon*

Gideon: *intertwines fingers*

Sophie: what-

Gideon: I am in love with you :3

Will: I really just keep getting prettier, it’s kind of alarming.

Will: In a couple of years, it’ll be impossible to look directly at me, I will be so pretty

Jem: Your stupidity simply goes too far

Will: THEN BUCKLE UP CAUSE I’M ABOUT TO GO FURTHER

Any main TSC couple:

Magnus:

TSC books: A summary

Will: I don’t think we thought this through very well…

Jem: I could’ve told you that ten fuck-ups ago.

Gabriel: Has anyone seen my wife?

Stranger: What does she look like?

Gabriel: Well, she has black ha-

Cecily, from a tree: BEAUTIFUL

Will: I don’t play favorites

[at the dinner table]

Tessa: Jem, can you pass the salt-

Will: Seriously, Tess! What the hell? You really have the audacity to doubt my beloved Jem’s ability to pass the salt? Let me tell you, James Carstairs is a GOD and he can do everything he sets his beautiful mind to, okay? Never let me hear you say such things again!

Tessa:

Jem:

Charlotte:

Church:

Will, sighing: I’m really sorry you had to go through that, Jem. Just so you know I’m here for you and I love you

*after a few dates with Cecily*

Gabriel: Gid, what do you think of Cecily?

Gideon: I think you should marry her, brother!

*later that day*

Gabriel: Well, I don’t know if I’ll regret this sooner or later, but I followed your advice and now I’m engaged to Will.

Tessa: Happy Birthday, Will! I got you a present!

*Jem walks through the door*

Will: OHMYGOD you got me JEM?

Tessa: No, no. It’s this book-

Will, through tears: HE’S PERFECT, TESSA, I LOVE HIM! Thank you!

Will: I’d like to phone a friend

Game show host: I haven’t asked you the questions yet-

Will: I know, I just miss Jem already

Gideon at 2 am: Sophie, wake up so we can discuss our love for each other

Sophie: By the angel, I love you so much!

vs.

Tessa at 2 am: Will, if you want to discuss how to exterminate all ducks on earth for good I’m leaving you.

Jem: Netflix lied to me

Jem: I’ve never seen bad boy types protecting stray kittens revealing to me their soft side

Jem: It’s always me picking up the kittens.

Jem:

Jem:

Jem: Maybe I’m the bad boy

Sophie: I keep a portrait of Gid in my purse.

Gideon: Really? I have a portrait of you in my wallet!

Tessa: Aww, that’s cute. Will keeps a portrait of Jem.

Will: He’s just so damn beautiful.

Jem: Well, I did warn you

Will: Yes

Jem: But did you listen?

Will: No

Jem: Do you ever listen?

Will: No

Jem: Are you listening now?

Will: … no

Jem: Are you staring at my arse right now?

Will: N- yes

Jem: …

Will: In my defense it’s a nice arse.

Tessa: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?

Will: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my entire existence.

Tessa: … literally all you had to do was say no.

Gabriel: If you had to go on a date with anyone of us, who’d you choose?

Jem: No way

Tessa, blushing: I’m not answering that…

Will: Jem

Everyone: …

Will: oH- nO waY, i’M NoT anSweRinG tHat!

Tessa: I wonder where we will be in twenty years

Will: Dead

Tessa: Let’s think positive!

Jem: We will all have a nice house-

Will: … 6 feet under ground

Will, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?

Cop: Get the FUCK out of my car!

Charlotte: Let’s spice things up

Henry: But I’m allergic to chilli

Charlotte: I meant in the bedroom

Henry: It doesn’t matter in what room we eat, Lottie, I’m still allergic to chilli

Gabriel: Did you know you stole something from me when we met yesterday?

Cecily: Sorry, I’ll return your wallet.

Gabriel: You stole my hea- wait, you did what?

Jem: I just wish you would admit that you made a mistake

Will, stirring salt into his tea: No, I like it like this!

Will: You need a hobby

James: I do have a hobby!

Will: Well, being angsty and sad isn’t a hobby!

Matthew from distance: It isn’t?!

Will: [pours salt in Jem’s tea]

Jem: [sips tea]

Will:

Jem: [finishes tea]

Will: … didn’t the tea taste weird?

Jem: Well, yes. But I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.

Will, tearing up: Okay