Lightwood - Blog Posts
Isabelle: Love is dumb
Isabelle, glancing at Simon: And I’m the dumbest bitch alive
Christopher: *taking a sip out of a flask* You want some of this?
Matthew: Sure
Matthew: Is that soup, what the-
Thomas: Can you teach me… how to hoe?
Matthew: Rude
Matthew: [sips wine]
Matthew: but yes
I can't believe we all fogot about this
Thomas: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Matthew: Of course! As they say in France,
'mi casa es tu casa'.
Thomas: That's Spanish.
Matthew: People can speak Spanish in France too!
Magnus, looking at Alec: What an angle…
Catarina: Don’t you mean angel?
Magnus: I was talking about his jawline, I’m the angel here
Valentine: Ok, so, um, you’re like a son to me
Jace: Well, you raised me
Valentine: Exactly, so join me and we’ll kill all the filthy downworlders-
Jace: No
*Looks over to Clary*
Valentine: You’re like a son to me-
Clary: I’m out
12 years old Emma: By the angel, Jace is so cool!
*meanwhile*
Jace: There’s no water in this bottle
Alec: You have to open it first, Jace
Actual friendly reminder that Magnus (and apparently Alec too) reads comics and is probably part of the MCU fandom
Alec: Hey, you know what?
Kit: What?
Alec: I don’t know, I’m bad at conversation starters
Emma, holding Church: If you don’t kiss your cats on their soft little foreheads, what are you even doing?
Alec, looking at Chairman Meow: Yelling at them for trying to eat plastic
Will: “You are a beautiful and intelligent person of many talents.”
Will: These fortune cookies are incredibly accurate!
Gabriel: Mine just says “wipe your nose”
Jem: William, this is clearly your handwriting
Cecily: Will is in trouble again!
Gabriel: Yeah, well, I broke my leg… what did he do?
Cecily: He hit someone with a car. How did you break your leg?
Gabriel: … sOMEoNe hit me with a car
Will, in the background: Lightworm, are you coming or not? I don't care, but I'm going to pay the Silent City a visit now, with or without you.
Thomas: Where do you want to be in five years, Alastair?
Alastair: *under his breath* Hopefully in your bed
Thomas: What was that?
Alastair: I sAid HoPEFULLY DEAD!
Alec: FUCK THE CLAVE
Magnus, sighing: Honey, you ARE the clave
Gabriel: I’m not going to fight with you!
Cecily: Why, because I’m a WOMAN?
Gabriel: No, because you’re scary
Cecily: Oh, alright
Christopher: Matthew, what’s a metaphor?
Matthew: “My life is a train wreck”
Christopher: I know, but what’s a metaphor?
Alastair: Date me
Thomas: What?
Alastair: I said… mate with me
Thomas: Excuse me?
Alastair: I said-
Thomas: You hate me
Alastair: Yes, that
*At the end of Chain of Gold*
Tatiana: THIS DEMON’S SPAWN BURNED MY HOUSE TO THE GROUND!
Lucie: What is HAPPENING?
Thomas: James’ getting served
Christopher: But I haven’t even ordered yet
Inquisitor Bridgestock: ORDER
Christopher: Uh, yeah, a Cheeseburger please!
Kidnapper: Did you order a pizza?
Simon: … maybe
Kidnapper: So, you found a phone and instead of calling someone for help, you ordered a pizza?
Simon: Are you mad that I used your card?
Kidnapper: You wHaT?
Jace: you see, I just realized I have two ears so it’s a waste to listen to just one thing.
Alec: let me get this straight
Alec: you’ve only just realized you have two ears?
Thomas: So, does everyone know what they’re doing?
Matthew: You mean in life or the plan?
Thomas:
Matthew: because I’ve no idea of either.
Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?
Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.
Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”
Alastair: You’re perfect in every way
Thomas: what
Alastair: I said you’Re tErRIBLE AND PROBABLY GAY, Thomas!
Alastair, under his breath: please be at least a little gay…
Thomas: I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief
Gabriel: Just be casual, try some light flirting
Gideon: Got it
*later*
Sophie: Nice work out there, high five!
*high fives Gideon*
Gideon: *intertwines fingers*
Sophie: what-
Gideon: I am in love with you :3
Matthew: I would walk through fire for the Merry Thieves!
Matthew: Well, not FIRE because it’s dangerous, but like a super humid room
Matthew: Not too humid because… you know, my hair
Matthew: Hey, do you know anybody that can teach me how to play the trumpet?
Thomas: Why do you need to learn how to play the trumpet?
Matthew: I wanna wander around and annoy Charles by playing it.
Thomas, thinking about how Charles mistreated Alastair: Technically you don’t need to know how to play it to do that.
Matthew: You have opened my eyes, Thomas
Anna: Please peer pressure me into getting this report done
Matthew: Do it or you’re straight
Anna: I said peer pressure, not threaten.
Matthew: My computer is broken
Thomas: Just give it to the IT guy
Matthew: Okay
Matthew, walking outside and tossing the computer into a sewer: Good luck