Valid point, and now that it has been made it's ridiculous to even consider thinking otherwise. It's also one of the most hilarious things about Madara I've ever read and each word is better than the last. It's hard to be thoughtful when you are doubled over with laughter.
So I have an issue with common fandom interpretations of Hashirama and Madara. (Not together, but it applies to Hashimada too) Whenever I see Hashirama in the context of a relationship or the bedroom, he’s always either superderp or supertop. Whenever I see Madara, he’s either the smoothest dude ever or just ultra dominant.
Let me tell you something.
Madara is the man who turned Hashirama into a meme because he’s so incapable of articulating himself that when he saw his old friend and enemy he just decided to scream “HASHIRAMAAA” at him. This is the guy who can’t pee if someone looks at him while he’s doing it. This dude somehow managed to fail to convince his own clan, who he was presumably the leader and most powerful member of, to leave Konoha and ended up getting booted out.
By his own clan.
He failed charisma checks to get Hokage even when his friend and the only Hokage to exist at that point wanted him to be Hokage, and he failed so badly not one Uchiha joined him when he stormed out.
He self destructed partly because he can’t figure out that children are kind of important to have, because he saw them as brats running around his ankles. We see him with no personal bonds other than his siblings (primarily the one brother he had during his time with Hashirama) and Hashirama, and while he does manipulate quite well, it’s with violence and controlling circumstances. When he gets to ramble he sounds like a crazy old man.
He literally could not convince his own best friend to see things his way and he was one of the ones who founded the village in the first place.
Meanwhile, Hashirama became Hokage, founded and grew a village, forged the first peace between the nations, and had a wife and children. He convinced thousands of people, even those who were his enemies, to see things his way. He swayed Sasuke at least some small amount.
He had presence. He demanded respect and admiration from those around him, and even slapped down Tobirama. We’re also shown him manipulating and generally messing with people socially, not by heavily traumatizing them into a broken mess and picking up the pieces.
My point is, almost certainly, the smooth frick of the pair is Hashirama. He might also be derp, he might or might not be super top, but Hashirama is the dude to look out for. One does not successfully create a (temporary but also lasting) peace and village structure out of chaos and war without being wily.
Madara, on the other hand, is savage, a little feral, and insanely laser focused. And ultimately ended up being manipulated by a plant, like every other Uchiha ever. So. Madara probably uses his chopsticks by gripping them with his fist, stabbing through the plate, and lighting anything on fire that refuses to be skewered.
His mating call is probably just to scream at the person he’s interested in.
I’m just saying.
There’s no indicator that he’s a smooth operator anywhere ever.
Ever.