Tw Depressing Thoughts - Blog Posts
ughh..blood soaked through my favorite shirt
Vent poem
TW: intrusive thoughts, bad thoughts, kinda gory, suicide, oh also it sucks
i want to tear my skin off
maybe then i’ll like myself
it’s uncomfortable
it’s irritating
it’s torture
i hate it
i want to rip my heart out
maybe then i won’t feel like this
every
other
night
it hurts
i hate it
i want to bash my brain in
maybe then the thoughts will stop
it’s annoying
it’s terrifying
it’s too loud
i hate it
i want to die
maybe then i’ll like myself
maybe then i won’t feel this way
maybe then it’ll be quiet
maybe then..
i’ll love it
1298 kcal today. I really don't know what to say. I'm tired all the time, I don't know what to do with my life. I've got a lot to do, but I can't even do some of those. I enjoy life as well, if only I was different. If only my life would be different. But it isn't I have to life with that. I sometimes have sudden motivations for things, and other times I'm depleted of energy. My bike rides to and from school have been getting harder and harder. As is getting up and down the stairs.
I don't get why though, as I haven't been losing weight I think. So I don't know. Maybe some shit has finally caught up with me. I've been looking up against some things, like almost scared even. I've been sort of betrayed by now exfriends. Which I should have seen coming, we were to different. I can't really hate them though, I'm surprised I even have friends lol.
And sorry for the rant, but also kinda not sorry. I hope yall didn't read this shit if you weren't interested.
My birthday is almost though, so that's fun. Does anyone have an idea about what I should ask for my birthday?
Or does anyone have any other questions, or have any meanspo to share? Please send them.