“Oh my god,” person A breathes, tapping their friend on the shoulder and pointing. “Who are they?”
“Hm? Oh, that’s Person B. They started working here earlier this week, I think.”
“I’m going to marry them,” Person A mumbles. “I’m going to marry them and cherish them and have an adorable honeymoon and have kids together and it’s going to be perfect.”
“Yeah, sure, good luck with that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“See that pin they have? See it?”
“…. yeah?”
“That’s the ace flag. You ain’t getting in their pants any time soon, pal.”
“Who said anything about getting in their pants? I want to know them, and love them, and be cute with them. If sex is off the table for them, it’s off the table for me.”
❤️
“I would’ve unzipped the galaxy, unlocked the stars, and stolen the sun if it meant getting to feel her lips on mine one more time.”
“How am I stealing if it was mine all along?”
“You weren’t meant to see me. I shouldn’t be visible to you.”
"Welcome to your new family. The one you didn’t want, but needed.”
“I don’t like doing all this work for nothing. You owe me.”
“You should know better than to come to me.”
“Why are you so against making things easier for yourself?”
“You’re so beautiful, I just had to wake you up so I could see the colour of your eyes.”
“Next time, warn me when you’re going to go poetry book shopping.”
“He’s respectable, but, ya’ know, a little bit dodgy.”
“We only want to borrow the bar.”
“You said I’d have proper training!”
“No! I’m tired of doing what you say.“
"You must find it before the others do.”
“You’re too good for this world.”
“Oh my God. You’re in love with her/him.”
“Yeah, well it wasn’t funny.”
“It’s your turn to make dinner.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
“I’ve been waiting a long time for you.”
“I swear, I’m not crazy!”
“Go and live with her/him, then! See if I care.”
“You’re a nerd.”
“Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
“I’m ready to try again, if you are?”
“If we both stick to the story, they can’t prove anything.”
“Do you think he/she crashed the car on purpose?”
“Is that my sweater/shirt?”
“If only I’d just gone over when she/he called.”
“You must find it before the others do.”
“I think the room is bugged.”
“That’s starting to get annoying”
“The landlord changed the locks.”
“You’re cute when you’re sleepy”
“I did a pregnancy test.“
"You had time to call the police. Why didn’t you?”
“It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”
“It’s cute when you blush.”
“How long have you been standing there?”
“You’re seriously a man-child.”
“Is there alcohol?”
“I told you, no more pets.”
“You’re bleeding all over my furniture.”
“Are you coming to bed?”
“You belong to me and you need to accept it.”
“I’m kind of a big deal.”
“I just want a nice, easy life. What’s wrong with that?”
“A smart alec witch, how original.”
“I have to take you to the doctor.”
“You were meant to be watching him/her!”
“Well, this is where I live.”
“You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
“I’m late.”
“I’m early.”
“Get out of the shower!”
“You smell like a wet dog.”
“Oh yes. We’re on.”
“The library is free.”
“You gotta get us a decent place.”
“Well, someone should sue them.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“When I’m as far away from you as possible.”
“That’s brilliant. That’s brilliant! Let’s do it!”
“Oh God, he’s serious.”
Anonymous said: Hi, thank you for all you do! I was wondering if you would have some dark quotes? I feel like there’s only light, airy ones floating around
Some of these are very negative and, well, dark, so if you’re not one for this sort of thing, please proceed warily.
Love
“She’s a saint with the lips of a sinner. She’s an angel with a devilish kiss.”
“If you don’t fight for what you love, you cry for what you lose.”
“I love you, as certain dark things are to be loved. In secret, between the shadow and the soul.” - Pablo Naruda
“Light is easy to love. Show me your darkness.” - R.Queen
“Hell sent us the most evil disease, and we humans called it “love” “- Conny Cernik
“You know that place between asleep and awake; that place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I will always love you. That’s where I will be waiting.” - Peter Pan
“But my dreams aren’t as empty as my conscience seems, to be. I have hours; only lonely. My love is vengeance that’s never free.”
“They told me not to play with fire, and I should’ve listened because I got burned by your soul and you left me in the ashes.”
“Until we’ve seen someone’s darkness we don’t really know who they are. Until we’ve forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.” - Marianne Williamson
“We’re all searching for someone who’s demons play well with ours.”
“He saw the darkness in her beauty. She saw the beauty in his darkness.”
“I don’t really get why everything has to end. Nothing can be perfect but instead of quitting, People should try to fix their problems instead of leaving. Love is a really wonderful feeling but most people don’t know the real meaning.”
“He looked at me as if I were the only star in her darkest night and he kissed me as if I were the air that filled her lungs.”
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” - Mary Oliver
Keep reading
- “You made me cookies?” - “Everything we stand for ment nothing after all.” - “You stole what?” - “You aren’t pathetic.” - “A dragon ate your homework?” - “I was suppose die you dumb ass!” - “You looked at me differently.” - “You work at a zoo now? Neat.” - “I’m being dead serious. I’m a vampire.” - “I’m not pregnant!” - “So instead of being normal, you started a revolution?” - “You found a child?” - “Oh c'mon you would have murdered that guy too.” - “The stars are pretty tonight, aren’t they?” - “You ever seen something as cool as this?” - “You never did understand the concept of being wrong.” - “So wait- hold up- you’re a mermaid?” - “I thought you were dead!” - “I know you love me and all but stop threatening the doctor.” - “How. THE FUCK. Are you- so motherfucking tall?” - “Did you just? You just- oh my god!” - “Everywhere I go there is this crow! I’m telling you!” - “ You fell in love with a vampire prince and didn’t bother to tell me?” - “I shit you not.” - “You? You know how to shoot a gun?” - “My man, I am high as a kite right now.” - “You aren’t leaving here without telling me who hurt you so I can take out a can of whoop ass and unleash it on their ass!” - “You just kissed me.” - “But you hate avocados.” - “I may be a vampire but I am a vampire of the sun, not the moon.” - “Hold up- just stop- just- what are you actually doing? It’s 2 AM!”
Boing boing boing
❤️
Here’s an aesthetic mini set for some inspiration:
“I was scared you were going to confront me.”
“Do you know how ruined my sleep schedule is now?”
“That’s not a very nice thing to do, but I’m not a very nice person.”
“I know what you’re trying to do. Stop.”
“Yeah, sure, just waltz right in. You were totally welcome.”
“If I want to go swimming in the trash heap that is my room, I will, thank you very much.”