Could We Have More Barbatos And Raphael Crushing Over Celestial Mc Please✨🙏✨

Malleus: Hello, my spirit friend.

MC: *chuckles* Good day, Malleus.

Malleus: Hm...

MC: What's wrong?

Malleus: I've just happened to notice that you are quite transparent when it's daytime.

MC: But you're still seeing me just fine, isn't it?

Malleus: ...

Malleus: *smiles* Yes. Totally radiant.

MC: I know you're talking about the sun, Malleus. You cheeky dragon.

Trey: I wish you could eat the pastries I made.

MC: I could. Only if I possess you though.

Trey: ...

Trey: You can go ahead.

MC: Oh no, Trey. I'm only joking.

Trey: But I'm being serious.

MC: ...

Riddle: *enters the kitchen* Oh, sorry. I didn't know your crush is here, Trey.

Trey: I— Riddle!

MC: I think I need to excuse myself. See you later, Trey. *disappears*

Riddle: What?

Trey: *facepalm* Nothing.

What would Thaumo and Nalis do if I just went up to them sniffed their head and said “ew do you not take showers????” and proceed to stare at them with the most deadpan look

Thaumo would stare at you with that stunned confused look he sometimes gets for a minute. He’d then try to pull off a pitiful/pathetic expression & insist that he tried… if it wasn’t good enough maybe you should help him next time he is so obvious it is hurting me

Nalis would be more genuinely stunned and worried & immediately smell himself.

• if there’s a strange smell but it’s not coming from him, Nalis would immediately lead you out of the room, then go back & look for the cause of it.

• if there’s no strange smell he’ll accept your teasing & try to tease you back later in the day.

• there’s a small chance that Nalis got too caught up in his work & didn’t go home to shower or sleep that night. If this is the case he’d be kinda embarrassed, mumble that something work related came up, and sulk off for the rest of the day. The following day he’d show up at your desk, freshly showered & carrying your favorite drink, and in a much better mood again.

Levi: Solomon... Why didn't you tell me?

Levi: WHY IS MC WITH BARBATOS RIGHT NOW?!!!

Solomon: ...

Solomon: Because MC deserves love and happiness that you failed to give them.

Levi: I... I could do that... If you have given me another chance—

Solomon: Levi... Are you hearing yourself? Another chance? Who are you to be given another chance?

Levi: ...

Solomon: You were not the one who suffered, neglected, and felt unwanted because you're selfish who only knows about himself!!!

Levi: ...

Levi: B-But I love them... We promised to always be together...

Solomon: Yes. And you broke that. It's not my problem anymore. I have done my part.

Levi: ...

MC: *flinches*

Barbatos: MC? What's wrong? *worried*

MC: *smiles* It's nothing.

Barbatos: ...

Barbatos: *smiles softly* *pulling them closer* *petting their hair*

Barbatos: Let's postpone the honeymoon for now and sleep like this.

MC: But... Isn't honeymoon an important thing for couples?

Barbatos: No, MC. You're the most important right now.

Barbatos: I want you to be comfortable.

MC: ...

MC: *snuggles against him* I am.

Barbatos: ...

Barbatos: My eternity... Your words alone could make me weak.

MC: *about to fall asleep* You have always... been saying that...

MC's siblings: *talking about love*

"I wonder when I will be summoned to meet my fated lover."

"I heard love can be bitter or sweet. How about you, MC? What do you think?"

MC: ...

MC: *smiles at them* I don't know. The idea of love... doesn't fascinate me.

MC's siblings: *looks at them, confused*

"But MC, you're an epitome of love itself."

MC: *hearing that someone is calling their name*

MC: I'm being summoned...

MC: ...

MC: I don't want to go.

"They're here."

MC: *opens their eyes as their red string get attached to their destined one*

Barbatos: *looks at them in awe*

MC: *tears up for an unknown reason* *then starts crying*

Barbatos and Solomon: *panics*

Solomon: H-Have we done something wrong?

Barbatos: *quickly approaches them* *wrapping his coat around their shoulders* *hugging them*

Barbatos: I'm sorry. Were you not expecting me?

MC: No... It's... I don't understand... Why I feel relieved...

MC who doesn’t know how to make babies:

Lucifer: Please tell me you’re joking.

MC: I am not.

Lucifer: *starts to undress* Alright. Let me give you a free tutorial.

—————————

MC: Mammon, do you know how to make babies?

Mammon: *stutters* A-Are y-you a-asking me to make one?

MC: Oh… Are they hand-made?

————————–

Levi: *acts high and mighty* I can teach you how MC!

MC: *confused*

Levi: *plays hentai where the protagonist is being groped by tentacles*

MC: …. I don’t have tentacles, Levi…

—————————-

Satan: Two people need to have sex.

MC: OK, got it.

Satan: Don’t you wanna know how sex works?

——————————

Asmo: Darling! Haven’t they taught you Sex-Ed at school?!

MC: I was absent at that time and it was a Christian school.

Asmo: Okay. I’ll start with the basics. *flips open a magazine* And do some demonstrations. Oh! You’ll be the volunteer by the way.

—————————-

Beel: I just know how to cook and eat food, MC.

MC: It’s okay, Beel. Let’s just go to the kitchen and eat.

—————————

Belphie: *tries not to laugh* Seriously? You don’t know?

MC: *sarcastic tone* Would I ask you if I do?

Belphie: *bites his lips* I would teach you how but you’ll be my test subject.

genshin men as wedding dates (3)

It’s wedding season and you’ve got a large one coming up. But it’s not just any wedding, it’s a family wedding meaning…extended relatives. Are you going to brave the night out on your own or are you rsvping with a plus one?

Featuring— Alhaitham, Cyno, Tighnari, Kaveh, Dainsleif, Dottore

gn!reader, modern au, mentions of alcohol, mostly platonic but implied romantic feelings

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (here)

AL HAITHAM

there has to be some sort of trade-off; his time is precious so there's got to be something in it for him. luckily for you, who's one of the few people he considers a close friend, it's just some random errand he doesn't want to run

he’s a mediocre date; follows your lead and is just kind of a wallflower honestly. will make polite conversation but only if someone talks to him first

drinks just enough to loosen up but not enough to get sloppy, and definitely still sober enough to read the book he brought. you leave him be, but you’re still going to go have a good time at this reception

yikes someone from the groom's guest list comes sidling up, hoping to shoot their shot with the handsome stranger sitting alone. of course he gets annoyed; not only was this person disrupting him but wasn’t it obvious he came with you?

wait where are you

he finds you on the dance floor with… someone else??… which is fair since he's here as a friend, but he strides up to you anyway and does not hesitate to interrupt

"thanks for keeping my date entertained but I'll take it from here" and then he leads you away to a different corner of the dance floor

did not think this all the way through because now he’s dancing with you but it’s just so…… robotic. he tries, he really does, but that doesn’t stop the secondhand embarrassment from anyone who happens to see him. you don’t mind though, you think it’s cute

"finally haitham, I've been waiting for you all night!" and then you kiss him on the cheek

perhaps it was a combination of the lighting effects and the alcohol, but you don't notice the blush on his face

CYNO

events like these aren’t really his vibe but you catch him in a good mood after you 'laugh' at one of his jokes

seems like a very intimidating guest at first and that’s not the impression he wants to give to your family, so he brought his joke book! chooses to tell one at your table during dinner and the silence after he explains the whole thing is truly deafening

he tries again but says "how about this one; y/n thought it was hilarious." so now you have to fake laugh and elbow the cousin sitting next to you to laugh as well

one of the uncles from the table next to yours actually overheard and leaned back in his chair to tell him it was hilarious so that’s a win

when you get overwhelmed by relatives asking you when you're getting married, he steps in to help you but accidentally says,

"we'll take the step when we're ready"

wait what

mans is a mess trying to fix the situation and you've never seen him like this so now you have to save him by laughing it off and dragging him away

he plays genius invokation tcg with some of your teen relatives; they were losing though, so they distract him by saying "heard the next wedding's you and y/n" and it works

he gets really awkward around you after that and you have to reassure him that it’s fine, no big deal! you even joke that if fake dating tonight would get all the annoying aunties and uncles off your back, then sure let’s do it

he’d never tell you, at least not anytime soon, but it doesn’t sit right with him to hear you say ‘fake dating’

TIGHNARI

if you’re not bringing a bag/clutch/purse/whatever, then he will and he has everything: antacids, aspirins, bandaids, safety pins, an epipen, etc

wow this venue decorated the place with such nice plants, a shame they’re not for anyone to take home. good thing no one noticed him take clippings to propagate

it's great to have him on your team because he is very good at all the physical wedding games like cornhole, ring toss, etc. you don't win anything except bragging rights but at a family wedding? sure, you'll take it

doesn’t smile in any group photos; only smiles in photos of just the two of you and selfies that you take on your phone, even though he pretends to be over it

is not nice to your offensive relatives; super passive aggressive with lots of backhanded comments. he'll make some snide remarks under his breath but everyone thinks he's joking. finds out one of your uncles is a flat earther, and takes it personally

complains about the music and how it's too loud but doesn't do anything about it, so you take him outside for a stroll in the little botanical garden

despite the nice, peaceful atmosphere of the garden, you guys do eventually have to regroup with everyone else gathered out on the lawn to watch fireworks and tighnari is doing is absolute best to stall

"....eh, we can see just fine from here, no?" he says as he pulls you down next to him onto the bench he's sitting on. if he plays his next cards right, maybe... you'll even rest your head on his shoulder?

KAVEH

he asks you if he can come as your date to the wedding because he loves these sorts of events and you agree because it’s always a fun time with kaveh

neither of you want to be dd so somehow… somehow he ropes his ‘annoying roommate’ into driving you two there and back

makes sure both of you are dressed to the 9's; maybe he wants to upstage the wedding party because he arrives in a satin suit and his shirt is unbuttoned dangerously low. some poor relative has to take a million photos of the two of you until he likes it, and then some more ‘just in case’

shows off some of his architectural work from his phone; even gets a few inquiries from your rich relatives for future jobs. networking king

once it hits cocktail hour, you’re taking a shot together. his arm is around your waist and that’s where it stays the entire time you guys are mingling with others

drinks a little too much and gossips about your family a little too loud though, so you've gotta reel him in even though you're not too far behind

drags you onto the dance floor and is a fun, but messy, dancer. you guys are in almost all the candid shots the photographer takes

on the drive back his roommate makes an extremely sharp turn and you find yourself thrown into kaveh. physics, am I right. you’re apologizing profusely even though he insists it’s fine and that you should, in fact, just stay in that position, your body against his

throws up in the car after you get dropped off and the next morning you wake up to a slew of messages from him complaining about how his roommate is so cruel for making him clean his car at 7am with zero regard for his hangover

DAINSLEIF

he agrees to go but panics the week of and keeps asking you if you're sure you want to take him as your date even though it's been rsvp'd for ages

maybe not the most fun date, but overall not a bad date

offers you an arm when you two go somewhere together, holds your hand through a crowd, pulls your chair out for you during the reception, etc

brought you one of every dessert from the buffet and risked looking like an absolute glutton because

“you said to bring you a dessert, but didn’t specify which one”

he’s very sweet to the older guests; they are swooning and keeps winking and telling you he's a keeper. you don’t have the heart to tell them you’re not even dating

gives random unsolicited advice and it’s always a hit or miss

he is so awkward in the photobooth because he doesn’t know what to do? it takes 4 photos in one strip and he looks the same in 3 of them. finally on the last one you do the thing where you lift up the corners of his mouth so he’s at least smiling

keeps his copy in his wallet for a long time, maybe even forever who knows

you never thought him to be a dancer so you’re a little surprised when he asks you to slow dance; even more so at the fact that he is very good at it??

you follow his lead, and dancing with dainsleif is honestly such a tender moment. if not for the color of your clothing, people might have mistaken you two as the newly weds, what with the way he’s looking at you while you rest your head against his chest

you see him crack a sliver of a smile when you catch the bouquet and you think that he’s just happy you won. but he knows full well what it insinuates especially when everyone’s clapping him on the back in congratulations

DOTTORE

you only ask him if he's your absolute last option because why in your right mind would you take dottore as your date to a family wedding. he only agrees to go as 'an experiment'

pick out his outfit please lest he wear one of his funky little suits

introduces himself as dr. and he's so dramatic about it so a lot of people are fawning over him; you suppose all families love a doctor but only you know that he's technically not even legally allowed to practice medicine

scowls behind you when an old family friend starts talking to you for a bit too long. excuses himself to socialize with said friend, but then you wonder why hardly anyone else approaches you the rest of the night

insists on you wearing his suit jacket because he doesn't want you to 'catch a cold' uh huh okay doctor

he makes the 7-year old flower girl cry at the reception but the thing is, he wasn't even trying? everything he says sounds vaguely threatening and kids are just terrified of him

so first of all he makes it very clear that he's doing this for you okay; he will make it up to you by doing some simple science party tricks for the kids

.... except he way overdoes it and sets off a mentos/soda rocket into the ceiling

and he’s not even sorry; he’s actually proud of that little demonstration like ‘go little rockstar.’ you’re forced to leave early in shame

he does go down as a family urban legend though because aunties will say "if you don't behave, the scary doctor will come get you!”

With so many new characters, I feel like part 3 has been long overdue!

Cheka: MC? Can you be my consort when we grow up?

Kid MC: What's a consort?

Cheka: *giggles* A king's partner for life!

Kid MC: Hmm... *squinting their eyes a little* Nope. I'm not seeing you in my future. No offense.

Epel: *gobsmacked*

Rook: Oh mon Dieu—

Cheka: ...

Cheka: *smiles* Okay. *but cries a few seconds later*

Vil: ...

Kid MC: ...

Vil: Where did you get that attitude from?

Kid MC: *points at him*

Vil: *sigh* Guess I can't scold you for that.

Rook: Oh my, Roi du Poison. You're becoming this child's second dad.

Epel: It's scary.

Vil: What's that, Epel?

Epel: Nothing!

Kid MC: Sir Leona? Why are you buying presents for me?

Leona: Because you rejected Cheka.

Kid MC: I don't understand.

Leona: That kid won't be bothering me for a while so I want to thank you for that.

Kid MC: You don't really like children, no?

Leona: Heh. Maybe you're an exception.

Leona: What do you like?

Kid MC: Hmm... I want that toolbox, that whole fridge of ice cream, and—

Leona: Hey. Isn't that a lot?

Kid MC: You're buying.

Leona: ...

Leona: Fine. *pulls out his card* Do you want me to buy the whole store?

Kid MC: If you insist.

Leona: This little— *chuckles*

Kid MC: Are you feeling better now, Dad?

Malleus: Yes. *after being sick for a week*

Lilia: I never expected your dad to get sick just from overthinking. *chuckles*

Malleus: *frowns a little* You don't understand, Lilia. Won't you feel the same if someone tries to court Silver?

Lilia: No? *chuckles* Silver is a human and seeing him get married will be my greatest joy.

Malleus: ...

Kid MC: What's your greatest joy for me, Dad?

Malleus: ...

Malleus: To see you as the happiest human alive.

Kid MC: *giggles* Dad, think of another. I'm already the happiest human alive after getting to meet Dad.

Malleus: *on the verge of crying*

Lilia: Malleus, please. You're affecting the seasons.

MC, Trey, Jamil, and Vil: ...

MC: Why are we on the "Mommy list"?

Jamil: I'm guessing it's because of our roles.

MC: Then shouldn't Ruggie be on the list as well?

Jamil: ...

Jamil: You're right.

Trey: I guess it means we're a different kind of "mommy"?

Vil: The attractive, domineering ones?

Trey, Jamil, and MC: ...

MC: You're the only one qualified if that is the case.

iii. Actor AU | Bloopers/Gag Reel

Part Two of the Actor AU series! 

Word Count: 887 words

Page Count: 2.7 pages

A.N. Hope you guys like these bloopers lmao

[ Actor AU Masterlist ]

Keep reading

How does fluffy Lucario look after a bath? Does he become big ball of floof, or just a bit fuzzier?

decently puffy

Yan Genshin Boys As Fathers.

Childe

There is nothing more important to Childe than family. He’s been obsessed with the idea of raising children with you for years at this point — it’s a fantasy that’s occupied his every waking thought. Childe is going to be very involved in your kid’s life. He’ll understand (to an extent) if you’re apprehensive of having him, a self-admitted “bad guy” with a penchant for bloodlust around your little one, but he’s not going anywhere. He wants to teach your kid everything he knows, including how to defend themselves when they’re old enough. However, he wouldn’t allow them anywhere near Delusions or any form of power that’d hurt them in the long run. He’s an easygoing father for the most part, offering encouragement and preferring to use positive reinforcement when he can. Has a difficult time saying no whenever your kid asks him for something. 

Diluc

Diluc still has a fair amount of unresolved issues with his father, and as a result, is wary of repeating the generational curses himself. He ends up being more distant in the earlier years of your child’s development. It doesn’t help that you more or less shoo him off when possible. He actually feels guilty that he wasn’t able to win you over by the time your child was born and worries for the day his own flesh and blood takes your side over his. You expected him to be overprotective of your child as he is with you, but it came as a surprise when Diluc was fine with letting the kid explore and learn from experience. He doesn’t want your child to grow up resenting him. The many enemies Diluc has made throughout his life remain in the forefront of his mind, yet that means he must prepare your child even more. He’ll take them to the side one day and make them promise to help him keep you safe. 

Kaeya

Kaeya tries to be more of a cool uncle than a dad. Letting your kid stay up past their bedtime, giving them sweets even if they didn’t eat all their vegetables, stuff like that. This is a detriment to your relationship even more since parenting is supposed to be a partnership — the two of you need to be on the same page and respect the rules established by each other. Kaeya always promises to do this whenever you bring this up, but never follows through. He’d rather you handle the “icky” parts of being a parent like dishing out consequences and making tough love decisions. The thought of his own child coming to dislike him for whatever reason hurts more than he cares to admit. That’s why he plays it so safe. 

Zhongli

You swore to Zhongli that you’d never need his help, that you could do this on your own, but once the mini Archons started running around and wreaking havoc… you didn’t have a choice but to rely on him some. Zhongli was just going to let you do your thing and intervene when he thought it was necessary, so it came as a pleasant surprise when you (begrudgingly) allowed him to take the father role to your children. His unmatched patience is perfect for dealing with them. He never raises his voice with them or loses his temper, and whenever there’s a dispute, he’ll come to a conclusion that keeps all parties happy. When he takes you and your child around Liyue for little informational field trips, he honestly couldn’t be any more content. Sure, you might have a strained relationship with him, but he figures you’ll start coming around. All he needs to do is continue waiting. 

Albedo

Albedo’s grateful for the time watching over Klee since he can utilize a lot of the same parental methods on his own child. He’s good with kids, knowing when to put his foot down and when to let them learn the natural consequences of life on their own. The facet of him that you weren’t expecting to see was his willingness to fulfill your child’s imaginative requests. If his kid were to ask for him to make a unicorn, he’ll be in the lab testing various alchemical procedures until he can do just that. Albedo taking kindly to fatherhood has ulterior motives as well — he wants to bring out your instincts to take care of your young. You should, in theory, start being forced to rely upon him more and perhaps even form a stronger bond in the process. If not for your sake, then surely, for the sake of your child. He’ll set himself up to be the sole provider so your dependence on him increases even more. 

Xiao

Xiao has extremely mixed feelings about the entire ordeal. The main problem he contends with is the nature of his karmic debt, he doesn’t know much about children, but he gets the feeling he shouldn’t risk harming your child by being in the vicinity while the curses of deceased gods weigh him down. If he isn’t around your kid though, then by extension, he can’t be around you. And he’s not having that. He’s probably going to try and convince you to hand your kid over to the Cloud Retainer or something like that. Xiao speaks to his kid like they’re a mini adult, using big words and asking them to do things beyond the capability of their age. He’ll look at your one-year-old and tell them to start cleaning up the mess they made with the expectation they’ll actually do it. Xiao mostly views your child as an extremely fragile creature that needs to be handled with the utmost care, whether they’re a toddler or teenager. 

Scaramouche

Every time he looks at your kid, he’s still in disbelief about the development, no matter how many years it’s been since they’ve come around. He struggles with being a father more than he’d care to admit. How is he supposed to present him? The polite, cordial façade that he uses with strangers, or his true abrasive self? Scaramouche ends up falling somewhere in the middle. He has a soft spot for kids, especially your child, but he’s still a strict parent. In theory. If they make puppy eyes and ask him for something, he’ll have a rough time saying no. Scaramouche is also like Kaeya where he allows you to handle the more daunting tasks of parenthood, although giving fitting punishments for misbehavior isn’t difficult for him. It’s more… dealing with the complex, emotional stuff that comes as your child ages. They can go to you for that. His advice when it comes to dealing with people is never helpful, since he just gets rid of humans he finds the mildest bit irritating. You don’t want your child offing all their friends over a harmless dispute, so you get to figure the solution for that one out on your own. 

Kazuha 

Kazuha is an absolute doting father. He somewhat views your children as a shot at redeeming himself in your eyes — if he can prove himself to be a capable dad, perhaps you’ll come to accept him as your husband. It almost hurts to see how much your kids take after their father. They speak highly of him at every instance, always asking when he’ll be back from his journey since he brings back neat trinkets. Kazuha is always waiting for the moment when you’ll come around and return his feelings. He’d rather not have to use your precious children as a guilt-tripping mechanism, yet that’s what ends up happening. They’ll start asking why you don’t like dad when dad so clearly loves you. Did he do something wrong? If he says sorry, will you forgive him, and everything will be okay? Kazuha doesn’t do anything obvious to encourage this behavior of your kid’s so you can’t call him out on it, but you always get the sense that things are going his way whenever this happens.