FUCK I’m In Love With This Pathetic Ass Man

Ace: HAHAHAHA—!

Deuce: Ace...

MC: *who ended up having cat ears like Grim's because of a lab accident*

Ace: You're so cute, Prefect!

MC: Shut up.

Grim: You're really my henchman! You just take after me!

MC: *sigh* Sometimes I'm questioning myself why I got you guys as my friends. Well, except you, Deuce.

Deuce: Will you be okay attending classes?

MC: Professor Crewel said I'm not excused. And it will wear off the next week anyway.

Ace: But aren't we sharing a classroom with 3rd years?

MC: ...

MC: Ah shit.

Malleus: ...

Malleus: What happened to you, child of man?

MC: I've got into an accident. Don't worry, it's nothing serious.

Malleus: ...

MC: ...

Malleus: You look adorable.

MC: *frowns*

Malleus: *chuckles*

Idia: Come here, meow meow. *waving a light stick in front of them*

MC: ...

MC: Idia.

Idia: Do you want some premium tuna?

MC: I'm not Grim!

Idia: Eeek! I'm sorry!

MC: ...

MC: What do you want?

Idia: ...C-Can I pet you?

MC: Just a headpat.

Idia: Y-Yes! Just a headpat!

MC: *lets him*

Idia: *staying true to his words* *only giving them soft headpats*

MC: *getting comfortable*

MC: *purrs*

Idia: ...

Idia: *screaming internally*

Idia: This is the best day of my life...

MC: Barb, let me take care of the baby and go to sleep.

Barbatos: Oh no, dear. You need to rest well after the pregnancy.

MC: It has been a few weeks.

Barbatos: Rest for nine months.

MC: Barb.

Barbatos: *cradling their baby*

Barbatos: Dada will take care of you while Mama gains their strength. *smiles*

MC: ...

Diavolo: *laughs* Is that why you're here to cover his shift?

MC: Yes.

Diavolo: I'm sure he's going to be mad once he found out.

MC: I told him I am on a vacation—

Barbatos: Dear. *standing behind them*

Diavolo: ...

MC: ...

Diavolo: I tried to stop them. They didn't listen.

MC: What the—

Barbatos: I believe you and I will need to talk. *smiling*

I DID IT GAMERS AAAAAAAAA

“I snuck into the caves last night and got a nasty cut from a rock crab. Don’t tell anyone, okay?” - Sebastian

Remember that one dialogue Sebastian has about getting shanked by a rock crab? Yeah. That’s it. I just wanted to draw that.

What’s it like to make out with Nalis? Just imagine randomly during a chat at work the player is like “I want to make out with you, can I?” and is not joking, and if he agrees immediately starts kissing him. 😀

This isn’t explicit but it’s a bit suggestive so it’s under a cut to be safe! Also warning this is a very long answer 😅 it’s almost like 3 mini fanfics

It depends!

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• If you have NOT gotten ending 3, so Nalis has never thought about kissing before:

When you first ask he’d agree, almost out of habit because he always likes trying new things with you. He wouldn’t have had time to genuinely think about it yet though. When you kiss him he’d blush a lot and make a pathetic uncharacteristic sound between a whine/moan/gasp. He would then suddenly excuse himself because he “forgot something he needs to do”.

He’d find somewhere private ASAP - still blushing and feeling very out of control of his emotions. If your kiss was more intimate / your body was pressed against him, he’d also be extremely hard and end up with a nose bleed (idc if it’s unrealistic, it’s fun and I’m cursing him with nose bleeds when aroused. I need to add that to his current kissing scene too).

You wouldn’t see him for the rest of the day, he’d text some excuse about work being busy. If you’re the type to overthink he’d also send a “btw thanks for always being a good friend!” message in an attempt to make sure you don’t think he’s mad at you 💀

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• If you have gotten ending 3:

Nalis would start blushing when you ask this. Up until now you’ve only really seen him blush when he admits you’re a good friend/important to him, and that’s always felt very innocent and genuine. If you’re perceptive you might be able to tell that it feels a little different here.

Nalis would probably reply with something teasing like “Oh~? You want to kiss me? Have you… thought about kissing me before?” while trying to at least partially hide the excitement in his voice. He’d feel really conflicted between really wanting to kiss you again (especially now that you want to and know it’s him), but also feeling anxious because of how he can’t control these emotions.

If it’s too soon after ending 3, Nalis would probably end up pretending to get a work call and using an excuse to push this off until later. He’s just not sure about how to handle having feelings + desires that are above his control yet.

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I’m including this as a fun little bonus:

• If, for some insane reason, after ending 3 you have another encounter with “Thaumo shapeshifted to look like Nalis” and asks to kiss him:

Nalis would start laughing in a pretty unhinged way. He’d sound like a weird mix between mocking and sweet and ask “Really, girlie/buddy? You want to kiss me again?” He’d quickly walk closer to you and pin you against the closest wall.

He’d be very insistent on asking why, trying to figure out if you want to kiss him because you think he’s Thaumo, or if it’s because he looks like Nalis.

Either way, after asking that he’d kiss you. It would be more possessive and aggressive while he’s struggling with all his emotions. He’d also break the kiss to ask if you wished he was “the real Nalis”. By the end of it he’d be very turned on and his nose would be bleeding, and he’d be feeling very unstable depending on your answers.

(Nalis is willing to do more when you think he’s Thaumo because then there’s no risk of you losing trust in Nalis)

MC: *posted on magicam* Someone really needs to buy me a pregnancy test ASAP.

Deuce: *comments* Why?

MC: This mf— *replies with a photo of Leona*— has been resting his head on my tummy.

Deuce: @MC Okay. But what does he have to do with buying pregnancy test?

MC: @Deuce HE'S PURRING.

Kalim: @MC Lions purr?

Jamil: @Kalim That's the least of your worry here, Kalim. What MC's trying to imply here is that cats can predict if someone's having a baby.

Leona: @MC Who did you do it with?

Malleus: @Leona Me.

Leona: @MC no wonder you stink.

Deuce: @MC So you two were not playing ping-pong in the bed?

Leona: ...

Malleus: ...

Kalim: ...

Jamil: ...

Malleus: @MC What kind of excuse is that?

MC: @Malleus A smart one.

Trey: *just got back to his dorm*

Cater: *was waiting for him*

Cater: How was it?

Trey: ...

Trey: *sigh* Prefect was right. One hickey and my whole family flipped out.

Trey: My mother started thanking the saints.

Trey: She wasn't even religious.

Cater: *wheeze*

A bunch of genshin baseball drawings o3o

Diavolo: ...

MC: *standing on their back legs* *begging eyes*

Diavolo: I was joking when I said I wouldn't bring you back to Barbatos.

Diavolo: So please don't cry. I also want to play with you... *puppy face*

MC: *squeaks*

MC: *goes to climb on his lap* *squeaks*

Diavolo: You'll play with me?

MC: *squeaks*

Diavolo: Great! Actually I bought some new toys—

Barbatos: Young master.

Diavolo: *slowly turns his head* B-Barbatos?

Barbatos: *woke up without seeing MC that should be sleeping on his chest*

Barbatos: *smiling* Do you know how much I have panicked when I didn't see them?

Diavolo: *laughs awkwardly* I— I did knock on your door.

Barbatos: Then why wasn't I woken up?

Diavolo: ...

MC: *squeaks* *looking at him*

Barbatos: *his mood suddenly changed* There you are. *gets them*

Diavolo: Barbatos...

Barbatos: *kisses MC on the cheek* Let's eat breakfast.

Diavolo: But... I have prepared breakfast for them too... *as he watches them leave*

MC: *being woken up by Cerberus*

Cerberus: Ruff! *stomping their bed with his front paws*

MC: Nn... Is it morning already?

Cerberus: *wags his tail* *gives them a boop on the cheek*

MC: *smiles* Thank you, Cerberus.

Cerberus: *shyly covers his face with his paw*

MC: *chuckles*

Lucifer: *cutting some firewood with an axe*

MC: *watching him*

MC: Aren't you bragging?

Lucifer: *looks at them and smiles*

Lucifer: This is how I got your answer before.

MC: Yes. And quite a foolish one.

*Lucifer has been staying with them for a few months now*

Lucifer: If you would only just tell me how I can make you fall in love with me again.

MC: ...

MC: Breakfast is ready. *then goes inside*

Lucifer: *smiles softly* You've never changed.

Lucifer: Cerberus, you can eat by yourself. Stop asking MC to feed you.

Cerberus: *grumbles*

MC: Cerberus, say ah~.

Cerberus: AAHHHHHHHH—*yawns*

MC: *chuckles* Oh, no. That is too much. *proceeds to feed him*

MC: And don't forget your medicine.

Cerberus: Ruff? *whines*

MC: It's for your bones, smart boy.

Lucifer: *feeling a bit jealous*

Cerberus: Ruuuuuff?

Lucifer: ...

MC: *starts laughing*

Lucifer: What did you say about me, Cerberus?

Cerberus: *doggy smile*

MC: *still laughing*

Lucifer: *frowns*

Lucifer: *helping MC fold the laundry* That dog. How dare he to call me an old man?

MC: It is true though.

Lucifer: *pouts* We don't age, MC. So it isn't.

MC: But you complain about your back sometimes. That is sign of old age.

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: *sets the clothes down and moves closer to them* *rests his head on their shoulder*

MC: !!!

MC: Wh-What are you doing?

Lucifer: I feel tired, MC. I want to rest on you. Like I used to.

MC: ...

Cerberus: *hopping as he walks to the room* *stops*

Lucifer: ...

MC: ...

Cerberus: *gives them a knowing look*

Lucifer and MC: *both blushes*

MC: I-It's not what you think, Cerberus!

Lucifer: Cerberus! Get out!

Cerberus: *still looking at them as he walks out of the room*

MC: ...

Lucifer: I-I'll give him a scolding.