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THE 10 BEST POSITIONS FOR ANAL

All you faithful readers know I’m a big fan of knocking on a girl’s back door.   It feels great.   It’s naughty.   What’s not to like about it?

Nothing… for the guy.

For the girl, anal can often be traumatic.   I’ve posted a bunch of times on how to prepare for anal sex.   You can type “anal” in my search bar and get a ton of info.  But let me highlight some things:

Anal sex requires preparation to keep it from being messy.

Anal sex requires relaxation and trust.  If the girl isn’t relaxed… if she tenses up… that’s when it hurts.

Anal sex requires a lot of lube.   LOTS of lube.

Anal sex requires you to begin small.   A finger in the ass.  Then two fingers.  Then your cock.

Anal sex requires you to start slow.   Slide it in and pump with short, slow strokes.

Anal sex requires foreplay.  Because again, a woman needs to be really relaxed and into it before her ass will open.   

What I haven’t written about in much detail is good positions for anal.  I’ve said, “If it hurts, try the woman on top.”  But beyond that, nothing much.  That changes with this post.  

I want to share with you ten positions that can be great for anal.  They’re great for a variety of reasons: intimacy, pleasure for him, pleasure for her, comfort, etc.   I’ll spell out the benefits of each one.  They are listed in no particular order.  But if you read the articles about preparing for anal that I have written and then learn these ten positions, I guarantee you that you can comfortably (and erotically!) add this very enjoyable aspect to your sex life.  

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THE REVERSE COWGIRL RUMP RIDER

He lies on his back, legs together.  She straddles him, facing away and bounces with his dong-a-long in her bonk-a-donk.

This position is great for her, not only because it lets her control how deep and fast her ass is being fucked, but also because it provides a great angle.  He’s going straight in, with a slight upward press.  Should be comfortable.

It’s a great position for him because of the view - her bulbous back pillows being split by his love meat.   

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THE SPHINCTER SPOON

The key to this spooning technique is that the girl pulls her legs up close to her chest, maybe using her arms behind her knees to hold them.  When the legs are pulled up like that, the external spincter muscle (i.e. the asshole) loosens some.   

When the guy slides in, he goes as deep as possible.  But motion is limited.  

This position is all about intimacy.   There is a ton of body contact.  He can whisper in her ear or kiss her neck.   Guys, you also can play with her nipples or even reach between her legs and rub gently.  

This is a great starter position for the first anal of the night, precisely because there isn’t much motion.   It lets her slowly relax her booty.

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THE SUPER SODOMY SIDE SLIDE

In this position, the girl lies facedown, then pulls one leg up some.  So her one leg is straight down.  With her other leg, she’s pulled her knee up close to even with her waist.  This tilts her slightly onto her side.  The guy then straddles the one leg that is straight down.  He spreads her cheeks, and slides in.   

What makes this position great for her is how relaxing it is.   He can rub her back while he’s fucking her ass.  It also doesn’t allow for very deep penetration.   

For him there are two pleasures.  First, as he pumps, his scrotum is going to be rubbing against the smooth skin on the back of her leg.  It feels amazing.  Secondly, each time he thrusts in, her one butt cheek - the one of the leg that is straight out - is going to hit him right in what is sometimes called the “inguinal canal” area, where the guy’s leg meets his torso.  The firm but soft tush pressing in there… fuck!  Feel so good!

Guys, an added little treat for her…  She she first gets in this position, get down there, slide a finger in her vajayjay, palm facing down, curling the finger slightly.  That will place your fingertip on her g-spot.  While you work the finger in and out, let your tongue press on her asshole, just causing it to spread a little.  She’ll love it.   

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THE DALLYING IN HER DERRIERE

This is a lovely, slow, lazy way to pump her rump.   You are on her side.   She is on her back, with her legs hitched over you.  She can keep them together or spread them apart, depending on what she finds more comfortable.   

This is also a very intimate position, as it allows you to see each other’s faces.   Motion is limited, as her legs hooked over him prevent him from pumping too hard.   He can play with her chest or her clit.  She can reach down and rub his balls while he fucks her.    

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THE ASS-N-CLITTY

Another variation of women-on top.  The girl straddles the guy, cowgirl style, facing him, her knees wide apart.   She puts his hotdog in her buns, then leans back, using her hands for support.   And she bounces and bounces and bounces.  

The plus for her is that she gets to control tempo and depth.   And again, it’s a great angle - straight up her dark tunnel.  

In addition, in that position her guy has clear access to her clitty-cat.   He can pet it.  Guys, in this position, I recommend using your thumb.  Lick it so it’s slick.  Then press it down on top of her clit and roll it, like a pea bring rolled under your finger.

Or you can take a finger and curl it in, making a “come here” motion.  That puts your finger on her g-spot.  Again, roll it around like a pea under your fingertip.     

For guys, not only do you have an amazing view, but it actually is a very tight fit.  With her knees apart like that, her glute muscles get pushed together.  Thus, your shaft is cradled in soft butt cheek.  Feels amazing.

True story.   I have had a girlfriend squirt all over my abs in this position while I was in her ass.  

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THE CATHOLIC BIRTH CONTROL

You wouldn’t think missionary position would be great for anal, but it really, really is.   However, you probably need to have her hips tilted up.   You can do this simply by placing a few pillows under her hips.   

This is another position aimed at intimacy.  The couple can kiss and caress even as he’s tapping her tushie.   

This position also allows for only shallow penetration, thus it’s great for a girl who, try as she might, believes she can only take the tip.  It’s also great for a guy who is well endowed, as maybe only the first two or three inches will get in.

Guys, be careful in this position.   It’s easy to slip out.  And what can really hurt a girl is when you slip out and then don’t aim carefully when you slide back in.  It forces her anus to stretch in funny ways!   No bueno.   

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THE HERO, POOTER-POUNDER STYLE

In the kamasutra, “the Hero” position is woman on her back, with her legs pulled up to the degree that her pelvis tilts up.   This can be done a variety of ways.  She can grab under he knees and pull them back.  He can grab her ankles and push them back.   The point is, her legs are in the air, spread apart, and her hips are tilted up.  This gives him a straight shot to her pooter-palace!

After six positions which were more gentle, we now get to the ones which will be a bit harder.   Thus, it requires a bit more experience.  These are anal positions you might try after you have being doing one of the first six for awhile.  So your rump is all relaxed and ready for a good ramming.  ;) 

For the girls, the fun part of this position is that as well as any of them, you have access to your sugared almond.   While your man drills your dumper, rub that thing like you are a DJ and it’s god-damned New Years Eve.  You might cum.  

Guys, you need to understand that with her hips tilted and legs spread, you could go really, really deep.  That’s great, if she says it’s great.  If not, then this is a position where you have to exercise self control and only use the first four inches or so.    

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THE DOGGY IN THE DONK

I don’t want to exaggerate here, so I’ll say it carefully.  This is the biggest fantasy of every man on earth.    There is nothing like getting a hot girl face down, ass up, and smashing her onion.   

What does this give to the guys?   The best site on earth.  When you can see your cock sliding in and out, wedged between those breathtaking cheeks… when that booty meet shakes with each thrust, a slight ripple working through each one… wow.  I have a tear in my eye just thinking about it.   

In addition to the view, if the girl has warmed up to anal and can handle it, this is the position in which the guy can go his hardest.  The angle of his cock in her ass, especially if she puts her chest down on the bed, is such that it is a very, very smooth fit.   Her rectum is in its natural position.   So he can grab her hips and pound away.

For the girl, doggystyle anal can be either heaven or purgatory.   He’s going to be deep in your ass.   But in this position, he stimulates some of the nerves that are actually located in the vaginal wall.    If a girl is going to cum during anal, this position will probably be it.  While the guy is reaming her from behind, she’ll reach down and play with her clit.   If she can cum this way, it will be so intense her back might break.   

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THE BEST LAP DANCE EVER

This is yet another woman on top position.   The man sits in a chair.  Guys, use a kitchen chair, not a big ass recliner.  It gives you more range of motion.   The woman come and sits on his lap, with his man-meat in her moneymaker.  

There are two variations to this. The woman can put her legs between his legs.  If she does this, she can put her hands on his knees and bounce.  Or the woman can put her legs outside his.   Unless she has really long legs, she might not be able to bounce as well.  But she can grind and rock.    It’s a amazing sensation when you grind in that position, ladies!  It’s like you are trying to break our cock off inside your can.   

Guys, if she goes with her legs outside yours, why not reach around  and flick her on-off switch lightly.   It’s ether that your you make it rain!  

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THE 3AM AT DANIEL’S HOUSE

This is a variation on doggystyle - doing it while standing, with the woman bent over something.  It’s one of my favorites, hence the name.  (Back off!  When you get your own blog, you can name sex positions after yourself too!)

It’s a really comfortable position for the woman.   She’s braced on a chair or couch.  She might even be able to rest on it.   A variation is if she picks up one leg and rests her knee on the object.  A good example of that is a bathroom counter.  She leans over it and puts one knee up on it while I explore her third-entry.   

It’s great for the guy for the same reason doggystyle is.  It’s a nice view.  He can grab the hips and go hard.   Because it’s a comfortable position, it’s also great for prolonged anal.   There’s no need to pound out your nut in 30 seconds.  Get her in this position and spend a good 20 minutes working her bubble over.   

This position can also be very pleasurable for the woman too.  There is a muscle cluster that starts in your lower back, runs through the glutes, and down the back of the legs to the heel.  That’s why if you walk funny in a bad shoe, it can hurt your back.  It’s the longest muscle cluster in the human body.  When a girl is bent over like this, that muscle cluster is tight.   And so as she tenses her anus slightly (which is natural to do as your ass is being fucked), she’ll feel that through her entire lower body.   And guys, if you can reach around and play with her clit and make her cum in this position, she can collapse.  The shudder it sends through her legs literally floors her.  

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And there you have it, faithful readers.   Is this every anal position I know.  Please!  I’m Daniel Fucking Davis.   This is the tip of the iceberg.   But hopefully if you like these, you can put your own spins and variances on them, and have plenty of variety to your hot, hot booty sex!

Now, if you like this, please reblog!   Cause let’s face it.  This is good advice.  

Credit for all the illustrations goes to wewomen.com.  They have their own take on “best of” positions.  I just used their illustrations, which I thought were cute!  

Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

#GeekPorn

If this is true, this guy should get a Nobel prize!

Well damn...

Never Let Him Touch His Penis

This is a rule I strictly enforce. He has adapted over time so that he can wear his chastity device at all times now so I keep it locked on him unless I play with him. I’m not as strict as some women when it comes to rationing his orgasms.

I generally only make him wait seven to fourteen days between releases. However, I am very strict in how he has that orgasm. I never give him the slightest chance to masturbate on his own.

Before his chastity device is removed, he is restrained very well. Whether I fuck him, use my hand, or just tease and deny him is purely my choice and I never tell him in advance what I am going to do to him. He is helpless and just along for the ride. It is locked back on every time before releasing him from the restraints.

The reason I do it this way every time is because I want to ensure he isn’t thinking about some random woman when he feels the pleasure, but is thinking about me personally. I want him conditioned to lust for and be obsessed with only me.

He has to look at me the whole time. He can’t close his eyes or look away from me or I will stop touching him. If he isn’t looking me directly in the eye when he orgasms, he will wait longer for release the next time.

His pleasure and orgasms belong to me as much as his body does and I enjoy the intimacy doing it this way creates. Watching the pure pleasure on his face when he ejaculates followed by the look of gratitude he feels for me afterwards makes it exciting for me.

I have promised my pet husband that I will ensure he never again has an orgasm on his own. I love the fact that he is sexually helpless without me.

Research

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Interesting stats

Survey - Getting to Know the Cuckold

In April of 2011 I created a survey (using Surveymonkey.com tools) intended to gather data on men who self-identified as cuckolds. This survey ran for 8 weeks and was advertised on my website, on Facebook, via Twitter and on specific Cuckolding websites such as Jinxypie.com and Hotwifelife.com. The response rate was excellent, with 486 men participating from all over the world. And while a multitude of countries were represented, just over half of majority of those who participated live in the United States. The intention of doing this work was to contribute to the body of knowledge on the practice of Cuckolding and to determine if there are any common characteristics shared by men who are attracted to this lifestyle. To ensure the questions accurately targeted the real-life experiences of cuckolds, I constructed this survey in consultation with Steve, an American who has been previously been a cuckold himself. While he does not live as a cuckold in his current relationship, it remains an ongoing source of arousal for him and his advice on the type of questions that are relevant to an erotic interest in Cuckolding were of great value. In a Cuckolding relationship the wife has sex outside of her marriage with her husband’s knowledge, while he remains faithful to her. The husband is known as a cuckold or cuck for short and he does not take lovers himself, instead his sexual pleasure and gratification is derived from the existence of his partner’s relationships. There are all sorts of variations in how these relationships operate and what involvement the husband may have, ranging from simply hearing about it from his wife, to input in the selection of her lovers, helping her prepare for a date, watching during sex, participating as directed, or by providing some type of sexual service to the wife and her lover. According to the results of this survey, the so-called ‘typical’ cuckold is a very well-educated, white man in his thirties or forties who lives in the United States. He earns well above the average wage and is most likely to be in a long term relationship or first marriage. He does not have self esteem issues and considers himself an alpha male with an average sized penis. Despite that, he enjoys being sexual humiliated and in particular may enjoy penis humiliation. He is most commonly sexually submissive to his wife and he enjoys the loss of control and responsibility being in this space offers. His enjoyment in loss of agency and control is fulfilled by having little or no choice in how his wife expresses herself sexually. He is likely to have been initially drawn to Cuckolding by arousal experienced at the idea of his wife having sex with another man, and his lust and passion for his wife is increased after she has been with another man, a response say researchers into the male brain caused by the stimulation of mating hormones. He is also most likely to be bisexual or at least bi-curious, whether he articulates that to his partner or not. Cuckolds report having sex with their wives in roughly the same number as the population surveyed in the Kinsey Reports, which is at odds with a general perception that they are denied marital sex. However they consider themselves to need more mental, visual and aural stimulation than other men and say they enjoy masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex. 17th June, 2011 Angela Lewis, PhD Steve, anonymous cuckold AGE Cuckolds who responded to this survey were fairly widely and evenly spread across all age groups. The largest number were found in the 30-49 year bracket and either side of this, men 50-60 years old and men 21-29 years old, were to be found in roughly equal numbers.

ETHNICITY AND NATIONALITY Cuckolds were most commonly Caucasian (at 91.1%) and at 55%, the most represented nationality was American.

There was a large gap numbers-wise to the second highest nationality represented, with Britain and Canada tying at 6%, followed by the Germans in third place at 4%. The table below goes down to a 0.4% representation, and a diverse range of nationalities were present under this figure, but the numbers were too low to register any significant value. Some of those countries included in small numbers were Estonia, Poland, Turkey, Portugal, Norway and Scotland.

EDUCATION Men who identified as cuckolds in this survey were well educated. For example, a total of 83% of respondents had some form of college/university education and 19.5% of those had completed post graduate studies such as an MBA or PhD.

INCOME Reported income levels tended to be fairly high (Given the average American wage is said to be around $35,000), with 48.8% of the men earning over US$50,000 per annum and just over one third, at 30.6%, earning over US$100,000.

INDUSTRY SECTOR 47.3% of the men were employed in the white collar (private or government) sector, which explains the high income levels. The other sectors were all represented, but in much low numbers and the number of men who were retired, students or unemployed were extremely low.

RELATIONSHIPS Unsurprisingly, given that a Cuckolding relationship is based on the existence of a primary traditional husband/wife dynamic, 87.3% of the men were living with their significant others and a majority of 77% were married.

How Long in Current Relationship Cuckolding relationships appeared to be durable and long term, as most of the men were in them for 11 plus years. The second highest number of cuckolds were in the group married 0-5 years, so we might assume that there is space and time for the couples to partake in cuckolding early in the relationship—say before c***dren come along—and then again later after have and are raising young c***dren, perhaps explaining why the lowest number of cuckolds were in relationships of a 6-10 year duration.

Most of the cuckolds were in their first marriage and close to a third were in their second marriage.

We were interested to know if cuckolding was present in the men’s previous relationships, however for the majority, their current Cuckolding relationship is their first. If you take into account that many are in long term relationships with their partners, this would confirm 9.3.3% agreeing with the statement: Happy and successful Cuckolding couples are able to separate love from sexual desire. Nearly one third (25%) of practicing cuckolds have been in a previous Cuckold relationship, so for these men it is likely an openness to the possibility of Cuckolding was a factor when seeking a prospective new long-term partner.

THE PRIVATE CUCKOLD SELF Asked to choose a response to this statement: “I’m an alpha male and I enjoy the loss of control that Cuckolding gives me,” 64% gave a positive response, making comments about how Cuckolding offered a way to take a step out of how they usually lived their lives and how it temporarily released them from a position of control:

Being temporarily absolved from responsibility, for my performance, for her pleasure, in fact having no control even if I wanted it, is incredibly freeing. I like the idea of having no choice, from being the guy always in charge to being the guy who is told to lick the other guy’s jizz, it freaks me out and excites me. Allowing others to make decisions for a while is relaxing. I love giving the gift of male sexual dominance to my wife. Not having a choice in their partner’s behaviour was rated as exciting by 65.7% of respondents. As cuckold Steve explains, this is also tied in with the humiliation factor that many cuckolds crave.

76.2% of the men described themselves as sexually submissive with their wives and a further 15%, while not submissive, found the idea attractive. Only 8.8% had no interest in being sexually submissive. Some comments made included: It gives me a freedom I don’t have when I’m expected to be sexually dominant. We both enjoy being submissive, so we try to take turns with each other. I like the loss of choice. Are you sexually submissive with your wife?

65% said their partners tended to be dominant in all aspects of the relationship, and when asked the question: “Do feel inferior to your wife?” exactly half said they did not feel inferior on any level to their female partners, while the other 50% considered themselves inferior to their wives in some fashion. Given the submissive nature of Cuckolding, it would be a fair guess that the men who do not consider themselves inferior consciously chose a role of inferiority/submission as part of their sexual persona, and are not victims of circumstance. Taking into account the high percentage of men who consider themselves alpha males, it is probably not surprising that only 8% nominated themselves as intellectually inferior. My fellow researcher, cuckold Steve suggests that the 20% who nominated being physically inferior would be alluding to their genitals and not to their physical stature. If you take into account that 36% of the men said they were attracted to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having a small penis, coupled with the fact that sexual humiliation was nominated as attractive to 55% of respondents, this would seem like a fair assumption.

The Cuckold’s Sex Life Based on the responses I recorded, cuckolds have regular sex with their partners in proportion to population averages as rated by the Kinsey Institute. While figures do vary widely according to which reports are consulted, I have chosen to compare my data to that collected by the respected research body, The Kinsey Institute (www.kinseyinstitute.org.) Using the Kinsey data for comparative purposes, I averaged the number of married men aged between 25—69 who were tabled as not having had sex in the past year and arrived at a figure of 20.7%. There is a perception that cuckolds do not have sex with their wives, however when you compare this to the figure of 19.8% reported by the cuckolds in this survey, there is not a big differentiation between the general population and cuckold men. Similarly, 38.8% of married men between the ages of 24—69 in the Kinsey data had sex a few times per month to weekly and this correlates fairly closely to the 45.1% who said they had sex 1-3 times per month in this survey group.

Over half the men supported the statement that a Cuckoldress should practice sexual denial with her husband and this supports a theory that loss of control and agency make the idea of Cuckolding attractive to many cuckolds. As well, anecdotally another reason men who are drawn to Cuckolding support sexual denial is because they believe or want to believe that that they are not able to sexually satisfy their women (primarily because they believe their penis is adequate) and/or because they have a preference for living vicariously through the experiences of the wife’s lovers or through the fantasy of the wife’s sexual affairs. To me, the hottest thing about Cuckolding is when my wife talks me off [re-tells her sexual exploits] It is understood that my pay-off for being what she calls ‘a good little cuck’ is in hearing about it. Hearing her moaning in the other room while I wait outside the door until she finishes with her Bull is totally hot for me. Nothing hornier than receiving a text during the night to say: I have just been fucked. This probably also explains why 82.3% of the men said they believed cuckolds need more aural and mental stimulation than the average man and that 66.9% of the men surveyed said they enjoyed masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex, using the a primary fantasy of the Cuckoldress wife having sex with other men. A Cuckold wife should practice sexual denial with her husband:

WHY CUCKOLDING The men were asked to select all the factors which led them to Cuckolding. With the highest response rate at 82.8%, the major drawcard for the men was arousal caused by the thought of seeing their wives with other men; and the ‘my private porn star’ response—while not a politically correct one—was alluded to by a number of men. However to be fair, it would have to be said that anecdotally the fantasy of a wife with other men is not limited to men interested in Cuckolding.

The second most popular factor was an enjoyment of sexual submissiveness, at 61.9%. This one is interesting, as culturally men are expected to be the aggressors and being permitted a submissive role in a so-called vanilla relationship is not that common, instead it is most often labelled a BDSM practice. For men (and couples) who do not see themselves as belonging to the BDSM community, it may be difficult to frame ways for the man to be submissive; however Cuckolding does provide that opportunity. The majority of cuckolds are self-assertive and describe themselves as an alpha male, holding a socially dominant position, whether in the workplace by wealth or earning power or through being highly educated. They generally know their place in the world and it is not a submissive one. However when it comes to sex they enjoy the taboo, novelty and ‘letting go’ that being the submissive partner promises: There is no question I’m a powerful guy in real life, therefore sitting in women’s underwear outside the door waiting while some guy pleasures her is so quirky, so different to who I usually am, that I get off on the idea of that ‘other me’ being so pussy whipped. At 55%, just over half of the men rated the opportunity for sexual humiliation as a factor which attracted them to Cuckolding. Sexual humiliation falls under the definition of masochism, as it is seeking pain in some form and taking sexual pleasure from it. Interestingly, according to Baumeister (1988) rather than pathologising it, masochism should be seen simply an unusual way to take a ‘time out’ from the pressures of life, and in his words is ‘an escape from self and self awareness’, in the same way that others might take up mediation or exercise. The majority of men who took this survey described themselves as alpha males (see Self Image), as well as being well educated and earning good salaries in white collar occupations; therefore fit Baumeister’s description of individuals who use sexual masochism as a way to temporarily give up the control and responsibility that they carry in their day to day lives. In relation to humiliation, comments were made that creampies (specifically the ejaculate of the wife’s lovers on her genitals which the husband is permitted to see, touch or consume but can also be on the face, mouth or breasts), were a powerful attraction, and on reflection it would have been beneficial to have included a line of questioning on this interest. However as nearly one third of respondents said that a desire to explore bisexuality was what attracted them to Cuckolding to begin with; the desire to interact with other men’s sexual fluids in this manner could be a way for some men to express homo-erotic desires, plus for some who may be wrestling with the idea of bisexuality, enjoying this on the wife’s body may legitimise it and remove the practice from being framed as homosexual—a type of bisexuality by proxy as it were. I believe we were also remiss in not including an option for ‘pleasing my wife’, as a factor for being attracted to Cuckolding. We made the assumption that the men were only motivated by their own sexual desires, however there were a number of voluntary comments made by the men which related to a desire to please their partners: I just love seeing her live her true sexual passion. Sexual freedom for my wife boosts her confidence. My wife loves being dominant and I’m man enough to let her express it. I enjoy seeing her enjoy getting pleasured. Penis/Small Penis Humiliation The men were also asked if they enjoyed small penis humiliation, taken to mean having derogatory remarks made about their size, length, girth and their ability to satisfy a woman sexually or being compared to men who were more endowed. While 29% had no interest in it, the remaining 71% were attracted to having this experience to some degree. Cuckolds do appear to have a strong interest in the penises of other men, particularly big penises, so this could mean that even those men with average size penises fantasize about their wives being with larger men than they are. Given the interest that cuckolds have in interracial cuckolding, both anecdotally and evidenced by the large number of websites offering material that focuses specifically on wives with black lovers, this is may not be an unreasonable conclusion. For this survey we used the generally accepted penis size for Caucasian men: Small (under 5 inches long) Average (5-7 inches long) Large (over 7 inches long)

The common assumption around cuckolds is that they must have a small penis and that is is a deciding factor in them being attracted to Cuckolding. However in this survey the majority of cuckolds described themselves to be of average physical endowment. Obviously there is no way of knowing if the responses are true as men do anecodotally overestimate their penis size; however in this case 36% of men said they were drawn to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having as small penis, which is higher than the number who actually identified themsleves in the small penis (5 inches and under) category according to the measurement table. Taking this into account and given the percentage of cuckolds who also nominated an attraction to small penis humiliation (SPH) which again is also far higher than the self-reported figure having a small penis, we would have to consider the men assessed their penis size truthfully. Feedback from cuckolds on what makes penis humiliation (or SPT for short), attractive is interesting in itself. For some cuckolds the fact that they will never have a larger penis means they actually erotize their negative feelings about their perceived inadequacies and appear to turn this around to a plus rather than a negative. For others the taboo act of a woman actually making derogatory remarks about his penis is thrilling precisely because it is not a socially accepted thing to do. Explains one cuckold: I often suggest we watch porno movies with supremely endowed men. This makes my dick look even smaller in comparision and then I fantasise about my little dick next to his and how my wife is probably comparing me to him.

Bisexuality In response to the question, ‘do you consider yourself bisexual?’ 29.2% described themselves as bisexual, 18.4% as bi-curious and 18.1% would like to be f***ed into bisexual behaviour. In total this means that 69.9% of the men have some interest in, or identification with, bisexuality. The high number who would do it if ‘f***ed’ probably speaks a little to the fact that in society generally it is much more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual or lesbian than for a man to be bisexual or homosexual

Some comments made were: I think cucks are lying if they say they are not interested in the other guy’s dicks. We think about how big, how heavy or how long they are, these are all questions swirling around in the mind of the curious cuck. I wish to take my wife’s place. Every now and then she makes me come in and wipe her lover down. What can I say, it is just heaven. Occasionally I am allowed a creampie. Understandably it is only with guys she knows well so we are aware of their sexual history. While an interest in consuming another man’s semen through the act of the creampie is tied to the masochistic experience of humiliation, for many it is openly a way to express their bisexuality. For others it is also entirely possible that wishing to give a wife post-sex oral sex or licking ejaculate from her breasts or body, is a way for some men of framing erotic homosexual desires so that they remain within a heterosexual framework, i.e. between the man and woman.

LIFESTYLE MECHANICS We asked how open couples were with regard to their Cuckold arrangement and perhaps unsurprisingly, couples were very selective about who they told. Given how taboo extra marital sex remains round the world and how few people are familiar with what Cuckolding actually is; this would explain why f****y and close friends were the least likely to be chosen as confidants. However what we consider a fairly high number (at 40.7%), confided in others, who they described as not necessarily f****y or friends, and from that we would infer these are other couples in leading a similar lifestyle. Other people are of course involved by virtue of the fact that the couples need to locate, screen, meet and play with the male lovers, most often referred to as Bulls.

Bulls are located by the tried and true methods of meeting through work, at social venues like pubs and clubs and by advertising on websites that cater to the Cuckolding community. In our survey group a very tiny 9% of the men choose the Bulls, while close to half of the time the wife locates her own sexual partners. As the cuckold generally defers to her when it comes to matters of sex and the Cuckoldress generally holds the sexually dominant role in the relationship, this would be expected; however relationships appear flexible enough to leave room for it being a co-decision when required, given the result that 20% said they looked together and 25% said it was situation dependant.

Where does cuckolding take place? The question of where the actual act takes place unearthed a mixed bag of responses. While the figure of 17.8% (just over one in five men) said their wives had sex with their lovers in the marital bed, that figure is probably higher, given that 54.6% of the men stated it could be any of those venue: the marital bed, in the home or outside of the home.

As Steve explains it, anecdotally there is a strong element of submissive symbolism related to the use of the marital bed, which can be powerfully erotic and stimulating to both cucks and Cuckoldresses. In fact one of the best known amateur pay for view cuckolding sites uses the marital bed to film their exploits for precisely this reason. Given the number of cuckolds who display some interest in bisexuality it also allows a way of expressing their sexual interest in other men by smelling/tasting/feeling the other man without having any direct contact: After they have had sex in our bed I can fall asl**p and imagine I was her. I find it highly erotic to smell their sex on our sheets. It is the ultimate humiliation. What can I say, a stranger, my bed, my wife, I guess it just makes it very real to me. What Sort of Cuckold? We created arbitrary categories of Cuckold and asked the men which they identified with the most. The responses mirrored the reasons for being attracted to Cuckolding in the first place and which are discussed earlier under ‘Why Cuckolding’. We did not create a category of Submissive Cuckold, as we believed that a position of submission is taken in all the categories. There was very only a 1% difference in identifying as a Humiliation or Voyeur cuckold. Given the popularity of Voyeur Cuckold category, this also tends to support why there was such high number (66.9%), of self-reported cuckolds who said they prized masturbation and fantasy above actual sex.

What the Cuckold is Allowed We also asked what role the cuckolds took when the wife was with another man. For the majority of couples it was a case of the wife’s wishes in a given situation. However from the categories we presented of watching, watching/participating and not being present, it is most likely that the wife has sex with other men alone. In terms of what the cuckold enjoys, most cuckolds nominate being humiliated, so it would depend on how humiliating the allowable roles are to him. However most cuckolds report enjoying watching almost equally, so it would seem that if only 15.2% are permitted to watch, their needs are not met in this respect, and perhaps as Steve suggests, this in itself further adds to the cuckolds feelings of humiliation and loss of control.

98.2% of the cuckolds agreed with the statement: ‘The desire and passion for my Cuckoldress is heightened after she has been with another man’. Brizendine (The Male Brain 2010, p.64) refers to this concept as ‘mate guarding’, in which a man’s mating hormones are stimulated by fear of loss and rejection, and this in turn intensifies his feelings of love and passion for his mate.

I would raise those babies!

Might need this sometime...

BDSM Links And Resources

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters

Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker

Ideas...

HER FIRST LOVER

When talking a the wife or gf about becoming a slutwife, there are two general questions that will come up. The first question will generally be, “Why?” Because we have talked about that in a previous post, we will cover second question that generally pops up, “With who?”

As an example, perhaps her getting gang raped by a bunch of thugs in a ghetto who don’t wear condoms is something that gets both of you off and often a topic of roleplay, but odds are she will not be down to making that her first slutwife experience. So for the realistic talk, we are going back to something within the realm of possibilities. She and you may have different expectations on what may work best, so it is important to sort those things out before trying to move forward.

Generally speaking, it will come down to one important factor, do you prefer secrecy or intimacy. Both factors can exist simultaneously given time, but for the first experience may come down to a choice. In other words, would you prefer she have sex with someone you know, or a complete stranger. There are pros and cons to both, and it comes down to personal choices. I have made a list below of possible sexual partners, people you know and strangers, and the pros and cons of each.

Strangers - A stranger could be anyone not currently involved in your life. Some couples prefer strangers because they intend to keep their secret sexual life as far away as possible from the people they know. A stranger that knows nothing about your life can provide a great level of comfort for couples. The idea being that if something did not work out, they would never need to see or hear from the stranger again. The wife can control how much, if any, information is shared with the stranger. Here is a list of strangers a slutwife could hook up with.

1. Stranger in another city - Regardless of who the guy is, the general concept is that the wife has sex with a guy from another city who knows nothing about her. This can be done as a couple or the wife alone. Because the stranger is in another city/state/country, the odds of bumping into each other randomly will be slim to none. This concept works well with slutwife vacations (see post on topic). Downside to the stranger, is not actually knowing much about the person either, so caution and condoms are recommended.

2. Male escort - This concept is about getting a professional to guide your wife through her first experience. This is one of the most preferred methods for beginner couples, since it provides both secrecy and a satisfactory experience. A male escort can be hired to the specifications of the wife’s/couple’s desires, so black, tall, muscular, huge!, good looking, etc along with acting the part to fulfill your fantasies. The main downside to male escorts is that they do cost money and some women may find paying for sex demeaning. Sexual protection is also encouraged.

3. Adult dating site - Adult dating sites are full of horny men looking for a girl to fuck. Normally, they just want the thrill of sex and are not looking for long tern commitments. Any girl posting on adult dating sites will be bombarded with male attention, so finding a willing man will be easy. The downside will be that many of these men may not meet your wife’s sexual criteria for looks, attitude, dick size, etc. so filtering through may take some time.

4. Bar/club hookup - The general concept is that the wife goes out dressed very provocatively and lets a guy she likes hit on her. She may pretend to be single if needed or hooking up on her own, but the basis is that she will be flirty and be easy for the other man. She can also say she is married if you plan on being a part of the action later, but she must make it clear she is very available. When the time comes, she will accept the other man’s advances as he begins feeling her up or talking about sleeping with her. The downside to this scenario is the same as with any stranger, physical and sexual safety. The upside is that she can pretend to be a single girl being a slut and let the scenario play out naturally.

5. Beach hookup - The idea here is for her to go out in a skimpy bikini and flirt with a stranger at the beach. This can be by herself or you watching. This works well for slutwife vacations or spring break, where she can simply become another slutty girl like all the others. Downside is the same as with other scenarios where strangers are involved. Upside is that she can show off her body and have her pick of men to choose from.

6. Swinger club hookup - Swinger clubs and parties are becoming more common and provide a good opportunity fir a first time hook up. The stranger part of it comes from going to another city to attend one of these parties or attending a mask/costume swinger parties. Aside from general sexual protection, there is no real downside to this option.

7. The Celebrity - The celebrity is someone your wife has admitted that they would have sex with if you allowed it and he was available. It may seem far fetched, since you are probably thinking that getting Brad Pitt to fuck your wife is near impossible, but think outside the box a bit. How many celebrity guys are there? There are thousands of men she could be into at any given time, from actors, musicians, tv personalities, athletes, etc. if you got your wife comfortable with the idea, how many guys would your wife think are fuck material. As far as the getting her in front of him, VIP tickets, fan mail, fan clubs, groupie clubs, etc are all good options. Think of a rock band going on tour, your wife is alone, dressed slutty, and going backstage with her VIP tickets to meet the band members privately. What are the odds of one of them hitting on her, or if she is daring enough, turning down the offer of a blowjob. We will talk more on the celebrity slutwife experience in the future for more ideas, but this is the general concept.

Someone You Know - The general concept here is simple, she prefers to have sex with someone she or you knows already because of a physical attraction or ab already established level of trust. Some couples prefer this option due to the enhanced level of intimacy and contact already shared, and a belief that this person will look out for your interests as well. In some cases, it the person’s relationship, position, status, or physical appearance itself can be part of a fetish that the couple seeks, this enhancing the sexual experience. The general downside, is this person likely knows other people associated with the couple, but that can also be a turn on for some couples. The bigger downside is that once the act is done, no one will ever forget it if later it was decided she does not want to keep going with it.

1. A Friend - There may be a friend she or you already have in mind that fits any given criteria that makes him a perfect sexual partner for her. Because he is already acquainted with you or her, there is a level of intimacy and trust already shared. Some couples find a friend an easier option to digest because of a this. Friends also provide availability and a general care for the well being of the wife. Couples that want a long term sexual relationship with another tend to prefer this option, and even strangers eventually soon fall into this category given enough time.

2. A Relative - There is always at least one person from your family, or hers, that would fuck her in a heartbeat. Odds are either you or her have noticed the guy staring or flirting etc, so you know exactly who that is. In some cases, women have guilty “fantasies” about relatives as well. Relatives could be brother, fathers, stepfathers, uncles, cousins, nephews, etc. This is a very personal and erotic road that often is best left in fantasy, but there are couples that have enjoyed a family affair where the wife has sex with a husband’s relative and it works really well for them. In other cases, it’s a wife’s relative, though that is normally best left in fantasy as well.

3. Coworker - It is a common fetish and fantasy for some couples to think of a coworker as a sexual partner. This is due to many reasons, physical attraction, availability, the thrill of keeping things secret at work, the intimacy that comes from people often spending more time at work than at home, etc. the fetish/fantasy is quite popular. In most cases, women will always have at least one man in her workplace that wants to fuck her and may even flirt with her. In a sense, a coworker already has rapport with her, or you, and some women may find this as an easy option to establish as her first lover.

4. The Boss - Another common fantasy/fetish that couples enjoy. The boss has an implied position of power over her or you. Because of this position, couples often find this option very thrilling. It tends to come with the sane benefits as a coworker, but it is often more rewarding. The boss has influence over her job position, pay, days off, workload, etc. The wife may find this both exciting and beneficial. An alternate version of this is that the wife has sex with the husband’s boss.

5. An Ex - Another common fantasy/fetish that couples often enjoy is the idea of her having sex with an ex. For many, it is easier to digest this idea since he already knows her intimately and has been there and done that. While the ex is really easy to digest as a sexual concept, because there was a relationship, this personal relationship may come with drama.

6. A Neighbor/Roomate - Another common fantasy/fetish. Physical proximity is the name of the game with this one. This person lives within the physical space thus creating a level of physical intimacy. Some couples find this exciting and very available as an option.

7. Her Crush - Her crush is that guy that she likes or liked at some point but things never came together. It could be any of the previous men already mentioned, or some random guy working at a gas station somewhere, the pool boy, bartender, the plumber, her teacher, personal trainer, etc. or some college/high school crush. The idea is that she will approach him via social media, phone, or in person and confess of her desires for him. He will likely make a move on her and she will of course let it happen.

These are some general ideas for you and your wife to think about for a first time slutwife experience, we will cover some of these with more depth in future posts. It is recommended you play through as many of these as possible in fantasy and get a feel of which seem to work best. As always, distinguish fantasy from real life and determine which options work best for you and have fun with it.

I appreciate the likes and reblogs, and comment with your thoughts or any other concepts that you think work well for her first time as a slutwife. Also comment what you would choose for her first time.

Literally the best kind of woman...

Dating a Big Dick

I’ve dated more than my fair share of hung guys 😊, and I figured I should share few insights that don’t get talked about in public. I will sleep with a guy right away if he has a big dick. It isn’t like that with an average guys who really has to work for it. Hung guys are more difficult to break up with. I can be really fed up with a guy, but when he lays me on my back and fucks me deep and hard, I get an emotional release that is really difficult to give up. If I break up with a hung guy I will continue to fuck him occasionally while I date new people, sometimes immediately after a date. Guys with big dicks tend to have better stories to disclose. Cheating stories are my favorite and hung guys have more of them- sleeping with women who are in relationships, and cheating on their girlfriends. They definitely have a lot more ex-sex and return visitors than normal guys. Not just woman they have dated, but also their close friends, roommates, and just woman who have heard about it (I have been all of these). I was meeting up with an ex once for just that reason, and while I was in the bathroom, the female bartender gave him her number because she had heard he was nine inches (this was in a college town, word travels fast). I do date men who are not big, and I do try to be good 😇 , but social media has made it really hard, because guys will reach out to me, then I remember how good the sex is, then I get a dick pic and pretty soon we are “getting coffee” near his place.

Husband Training

I assume you are here because you are interested in adopting a Female Led Relationship and are asking yourself where to start. This note is for Dominant ladies whose husbands have agreed to take a submissive role. 

First of all you need to decide what you want out of the relationship. The relationship from here on in is all about you. You are taking on the Head of the Household role that a man traditionally holds. That is to say, you will make all decisions relating to the house and your lifestyle including money and how you spend your time. The Head of the Household has the right and is required to make the rules. Form here on your husband will be serve you and if you do it right will treat you like the goddess you deserve to be.

In order to be the Head of the Household there are certain qualities that are required. Generally speaking, women make great HoH as they are smarter and tougher than men. They also have the ability to multitask which, provided they are intelligent, strong and dominant they are as HoH far superior to their male counterparts.

I consider myself to be an intelligent strong woman. I know what I want and I like to be in charge. After years of putting up with poor behaviour from my husband that left me feeling somewhere between neglected and amazed at my husband’s stupidity, something had to change. This is when I found the concept of a Female Led Relationship (FLR). I realised that if what I read was true, I could turn my husband into a considerate, loving and attentive husband who places my needs above all others. It also turns out that I love being in control and being able to dominate my husband.

It has taken a lot of work to get here, but now we are here, the results are amazing. Your husband will be grateful and willing to attend to your every wim. Here’s what you need to do. Please don’t confuse my submissive husband with a weak man, he is a gladiator in the boardroom managing hundreds of people. submissive men who wish to be dominated by their wife are actually immensely strong. It takes a great deal of self-control and will to become a subservient man.

First of all decide what YOU want and how in an ideal world you would like your husband to act. Guess what, if you do this right it is about to become an ideal world! All you need to do is devote around 5 to 10 minutes a day closely monitoring your husband and the results will be AMAZING. I find being Dominant both enjoyable and sexually gratifying. I am sure if you are genuinely a Dominant person you will too.

Let me explain what I mean. I have no interest in competing with his work or his friends. I want him to put my needs above all others, take care of our family (including himself) and sexually satisfy me. Since starting I have gradually been passing him all of the errands and chores which I dislike, and he has gratefully taking them. He now shops, cooks and cleans for the family. And, as a by-product of having changed his ways, he has lost stones in weight.

You see some very complicated systems where women produce contracts they have their husbands sign setting out various rules that must be obeyed. I am sure it works for them, but I think it’s a complicated way of going about things. I instead I suggest you start off by setting a short list of things your husband is prohibited from doing unless it is specifically authorised by you. I demand from my sub:

No masturbation (this is very important as it     focuses him. Once he orgasms he loses focus for 24-48 hours. Also, it is     for me to decide when he is allowed, not him).

Never raise his voice to you and certainly no back     talking or arguing with you.

No spending above a daily limit of say $5-10     without permission

No drinking unless given permission 

Strict curfew

 As I say you will need to decide what works for you need to decide but let me outline my setup.

 Most mornings before we leave to get the kids to school and hubby goes to work etc, I have him kneel before me and I give him his instructions for the day. I tell him what I expect of him. These instructions may be errands I want him to run, pick up groceries or laundry that needs to be done. I may tell him that I want a foot massage that night or that I will be spanking him if he is due one. If he has neglected me or has otherwise disappointed me, I will lecture him during this time. At the end of the instructions and/or lecture I will ask him to confirm he understands and he will thank me.

 You need to decide how you are going to address your husband. You need to differentiate a normal two-way conversation between husband and wife. These sessions are not conversations, this is the Dominant HoH addressing the submissive or sub for short. You are telling him how his behaviour has disappointed you or how you would like him to act in the future or what he will do that day to serve you. Remember, is not a conversation he is not to speak unless you ask him a question. I choose to have my husband kneel on the floor whilst I remain standing, this is a sign of subservience and respect. You could place a chair in the centre of the room which he sits on whilst you remain standing. It is important that you remain standing so that you are at a higher level to him as you are addressing him as he is superior. At the end of each lecture or instruction makes sure he thanks you for guiding him. If he doesn’t graciously thank you, he will deserve a lower end punishment. I will come onto this shortly.

 I digress slightly,  I am sure you will by now have noticed that Dominant is with a capital D as a sign of respect and the submissive is with a small s. I now write my husband’s name (apart from on official documents obviously) in lowercase as a silent reminder of his subservience. Whilst on the subject of names, the submissive is usually expected to refer to the Dominant as Mistress, Madam or M’am. However, as we practice our FLR privately this is not really practical and I therefore only expect him to address me as Madam when he is kneeling, being punished or we are in bed. When we are alone he now uses Madam as a sign of respect and I think this is a nice touch. You will need to instruct your husband how is to address you and when. I recommend you do insist on your husband addressing you formally at least in private as the respect is an important part of the dynamic.

 Anyway, back our setup. My husband finishes work at around 6pm and it takes him approximately 30 minutes to drive home from work. I therefore insist he is home at no later than 6:45 pm unless I have allowed him to stay out later. Sometimes it is pre-agreed that he may have a night out with his buddies or sometimes he might SMS me during the day to ask for permission. Often I agree, but sometimes for no particular reason I just say no. Is he pleased about it, well of course not, but I am asserting my rights as the HoH and showing my Dominance over him. It goes without saying that he still thanks me for considering his request.  This curfew is to be respected regardless of the reason, there is no excuse whatsoever. Bad traffic, is ‘too bad’, he should have left earlier and he will still pay the price. I also don’t care if he has to work late he will still receive the full force of my discipline if he is late.  Strangely enough he doesn’t seem to care so much about the ‘so urgent work that could not wait’ before, now that he knows he will pay the price for staying late. The key to making this work and a happy submissive is zero tolerance.

 My husband has a weekly allowance of $50 which I give to him in cash as pocket money and he is free to spend it as he pleases. Beyond this he is not allowed to spend a single cent or use an ATM or credit card unless I have specifically agreed. I ask him each evening how much has spent and check all the bank statements as they arrive. Ideally, I would have him give me all the money so that I could hold it, but on a practical level he needs access. After all, how could he pick up groceries every day without $$$!

 Now my husband likes to drink. There is nothing he like more that meeting his buddies at the bar to drink and watch sports. Whilst that works for him, it does nothing for me. So, I have entirely banned hard liquor as it makes him drunk and argumentative, but I do still allow him to drink beers and wine. But, I have limited him to one drink a day unless I specifically authorise more. When giving him permission to drink I will almost always set a limit. I do always insist on him bringing a copy of his bar tab home with him so that I can count the number of beers. It does not escape me that if I was to implement the Dom/sub dynamic to the full extent, then he would not be allowed out at all he would be at home cleaning or doing laundry etc. But I love my husband and want him to be happy too, this makes me happy, so I still let him go out but in my terms.

 Every evening I will question my husband on whether he has spent money and if so ask for the receipts, whether he has jacked off, how if he has been drinking and the quantity and ask him to update me on any errands he was to run. Depending on his responses I will either praise him or dish out an immediate punishment. Sometimes, this can only be a discreet interim punishment as the kids are around or we have guests, but I advise him of what he will be getting in the days to come. If you do defer a punishment it is imperative that you do deliver, as failure to do so will send you right off track.

 As I say above it is important that he does not masturbate. But, all men masturbate unless you monitor them closely. If I find out that he has jacked off without permission he is punished (relatively harshly) and if it happens again within say a few weeks then he goes into his chastity cage for at least a week, which he hates. They are pretty uncomfortable things and prevent him from weeing without sitting down, but too bad if he can’t be trusted not to play with it, it gets locked away.

 In the early days, my husband was breaking the rules and making inadvertent slip ups that earnt him regular punishments. If I had to put a number on it I would say 3 or more times a week, but two years on they are more like once or twice a month. He probably gets more Dominance spankings than punishment ones now. Occasionally he still has bad runs, but don’t worry he learns the error of his ways! Actually, he recently had one of the most severe ever as I caught him DUI. On the other hand I have also made mistakes in letting things slide and I promise you as if magic all the rules start being broken.

 So you have set out the rules and you expect him to follow them. Will he? Of course not, well not at first anyway. You will need to enforce these rules. I know I am labouring the point now, but you must remember NEVER let anything slide. Not one little thing, not ever. If you do, you are wasting your time and his, this will fail. If you ignore an infraction your darling husband will take that as a message that whatever he has done is acceptable and you are ok with it. If he steps out of line he must be punished. As Head of the Household this is now your responsibility to deliver swift justice.

 I am sure this is all quite alien to you, so I will try and guide you as best I can. In order to do this you will need to get some tools to work with, simply a slap on the butt will not do the trick. In fact that is more likely to turn him on than discourage him from repeating the offence. The punishments must be suitably unpleasant in order to deter him for doing it again. 

 In order to get you started I suggest getting some English school canes, a large heavy as you can find hardwood paddle, a long handled bath scrubber and a heavy hairbrush again heavy as you can find. You can task your husband with getting these things together for you. You will also need bars of soap and liquid soap. Now let me explain…

 When it comes to punishing your husband, the punishment will need to fit the crime, that is to say the more his actions displease or upset you the more severe the punishment. Repeat infractions should receive relatively serious punishment. If you find your husband is repeating the same undesirable behaviour in a relatively short period of time, I would suggest you have not done your job properly the first time.

 First of all physical punishment. You are going to need to use your discretion as to the severity and intensity of the punishment. Your instinct will be to go light as you don’t want to seriously hurt him and he will be making his discomfort known and quite possibly at high volume. However, men are not easily hurt and can take a lot, the thrashing you give should leave bruising that last for days if not a week. Don’t be afraid to do it again the same or next day if it apparent you have not done enough. It is your prerogative. For some serious infractions I have been known to thrash him several days in a row on his already bruised butt.  If afterwards he is not in discomfort for at least 48 hours and there is not much bruising then you have gone too light. If you feel tired stop and have him stand in the corner with his hands on his head until you are ready to resume.

 The art of a punishment spanking is to administer a sound spanking to the point you are absolutely sure he is in distress, he may be sweating, breathing heavily and possibly even crying. If you can get him to cry you are doing it right. The level is going to vary from person to person and vary depending on the implement being used, but for my husband is usually around 100 or so swats with the hairbush or 50 with the bath scrubber (much nastier). His butt cheeks should be hot and scarlet red with a matt white finish and should be starting to bruise. If not carry on. When I have been really angry I given hundreds of swats. He will beg you to stop, you simply tell him he should have thought about stopping when he was doing whatever it was he is now being punished for and carry on. You can’t do any serious damage to his butt, so better to go too far than too light. Once you are satisfied he has been properly spanked you move the next stage. This is NOT the point you stop, you have just entered the ‘punishment zone’ every stroke will be unbearable and that is precisely the point. Everything you have done up until now has been bearable, in other words no harm done. Now is the time to have him thank you for the spanking and you deliver your lecture and tell him how disappointed you are etc etc. Next you bring out the cane or the paddle and give him a good number of strokes which he should be counting and thanking you for. One, thank you Madam. Two, thank you Madam and so on.

 Again, you will need to decide how many strokes of the cane or swats of the paddle you are going to give. The English who are the masters of the cane administer 12 at full force. I would suggest this as a minimum and for serious or repeat infractions I would go for several sets of 12 making him stand in the corner in between sets. If you try and go higher than 12 at a time he will just move and shout. It is much better to deliver more over a staggered period of time. The DUI incident that I mentioned above resulted in a severe spanking and 72 cane strokes given over an hour at 10 minute intervals. With a set of paddle swats to finish up. I am relatively confident there will be no further DUI in the future.

 I am not going to go into the technique of using the cane or paddle there is plenty of advice and videos online. But I will just highlight the importance of using all he force you can muster and that you must well cover the bottom two thirds of his butt and the back of his thighs in order to ensure discomfort when sitting and walking.

 You are likely to come up against a number of issues such as how to keep him in position and not screaming so loud the neighbours two blocks down can hear him. As for the first you must order him to stay in position and if he moves take the stroke or swat again and again if necessary. After the third time have him in the corner to recover and then start from the beginning. You can also tie him down, but I have never needed to do this. As for the screaming, you can invest in a gag (I only use it for serious correction) but as long as you pace the strokes or swats he should be able to remain relatively quiet. If he screams repeat the stroke – he will soon learn.

 Moving on from the physical punishment I strongly recommend you back each punishment up with a non- physical punishment, here are some that I have used to get you started:

 1.    Cancelling a social engagement, he is looking forward to.

2.    Grounding.

3.    Doing tasks or jobs that he does not like.

4.    Taking his SUV away and making him walk downtown to work and back all week. This is one of my favourites as it is tiring and makes him think about what he has done all week.

5.    Dropping him several miles outside town and making him walk home.

6.    Making him sit on the floor in the garage or bathroom for x hours

7.    Corner time. This is another one of my favourites.

8.    Writing lines.

9.    Withhold orgasms for months, but this is a bit limited as I usually only let him have one every four or five weeks. Conversely, I like to have him get me off at least three times a week. His frustration and my power over him really gets me hot.

10.                Ban certain foods or drink for x days or weeks. If I use this, I allow him to drink only water and the eat plain cooked rice all week.  

 Back in my world. Despite my husband wanting me to be Dominant and in charge he still continued to argue with me along the way into the relationship. This is something you need to have ZERO tolerance for and nip in the bud very early on. Probably the very first lecture you need to deliver to your husband is about talking back arguing swearing at you, including tutting sighing etc. Tell him that you will give him one chance and if he continues he will be punished. So in practice, as soon as your husband begins to argue, Hold up your finger and say STOP (if it possible). If he continues you must deliver a punishment.

 This is where the soap come in. Arguing or disrespect  = mouth soaping. This is unequivocal. Mouth soaping is by far the most effective way of discouraging disrespect as it links the bad mouth to the punishment. You should combine this with either a physical or non physical punishment.

 Ok, here’s how. You will need a soap box with a little water in the bottom so that the bottom of the soap is mushy. Take the moistened bar of soap and press it deeply into his mouth and instruct him to bite. Tell him you want to see the teeth marks in the soap. Alternatively, squeeze a dollop of hand wash and make him hold it until you give him permission to spit it out. Roughly a couple of minutes or so will be more than sufficient. The taste is absolutely disgusting, and he will learn to do everything he can to avoid it. It is also silent so it’s easy to implement even when the kids are at home or you have visitors. However, you will find you will have to implement this quite a lot to start with as arguing will come almost as second nature to him. Even if he catches himself and apologises, you still carry out the punishment. Remember, zero tolerance policy to back talk. The beauty of this is if you are out you can have him go to the restroom where there is liquid soap, which he puts in his mouth and sits in a stall for x minutes or until you SMS him to say he can spit it out.

 As for the physical punishment, you will need to use your discretion as to the level of argument and also consider whether or not he raised his voice. If he raised his voice and shouted at you the physical punishment should be severe. At the lower end of the scale I would probably have him hold out each hand and I would land the bath scrubber say 5 times on each hand which enough to sting like hell for an hour or two and hopefully bruise. Don’t go to town on the hands as you could do some damage if you over do it. Middle of the road a good butt spanking 100-500 with a heavy brush of 50-100 with the bath scrubber.  Top end, if he had shouted should be a full punishment spanking as outlined above and followed by paddle or cane, with soap in his mouth in the corner between sets. 

 Before I go, I must just touch upon dominance or maintenance spankings. These are given for no reason at all and are given just to show that you can. These are to assert your role as the Dominant and should be of a lesser scale than a punishment spanking, but still painful. I usually give my husband one every week or so and sometimes use these to try out new implements, either from the shop or that can be found around the home. I find it fun to tell my husband in the morning instruction to find an implement in the house that day that I will spank him with that night. We have truly used all manner of things and it is exciting and shakes things up a bit. I now enjoy giving out spankings, the power is a real aphrodisiac to me so I almost always have him get me off afterwards. After either type of spanking he cannot be more compliant or eager to please.

 So just like me, you too can if you follow my lead be an empowered Dominant Head of the Household and have a delightful submissive husband who will truly enjoy doing whatever you ask of him. Just think about it no more grocery shopping, cleaning or laundry as your husband ‘your sub’ will be doing it for you. Two years in and we have never been happier.

Being a Dom

In the BDSM world, “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot.  Being a Dom can seem very appealing.  Men often want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships, and even in life in general. However, there is a new wave of women who are finally realising they too can be dominant and guess what, they can often do it well.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of fake Doms out there.  How can you make sure you’re not acting like one?  Or if you’re a submissive, what should you look for in a Dom?  Let’s consider what it truly means to be a real Dom.

What a Dominant isn’t

To start, let’s focus on some of the warning signs of a bad or fake Dom.  If they focus only on what they are getting than what they are giving that is a huge clue.  Of course the nature of a Dom should be somewhat selfish but they should also always make sure that the sub is satisfied not just sexually, but emotionally and physically too.  But just like any relationship, trust needs to be earned.  A fake Dom may say things like, “You’re not really a sub,” or, “A good sub would do XYZ.”  If you’re a sub, don’t fall for it.  And if you’re a Dom, don’t say things like that unless the sub consents to being talked to that way.  Real emotional harm can be done.A real Dom is dominant at all times, not just when it suits them.

What is a Dom?

The definition of a Dominant is an important, powerful person who likes to be in charge.  They crave obedience and need to be in control.  They tend to be the “Alpha Male/Female,” and that is why “Dom” is always spelled with a capital while “sub” is always lowercase.  

They strive to exercise control in all things, not just over their sub sexually.  This means that they have order in their own personal lives.  It is not uncommon for a Dom to have an obsessive-compulsive personality. They take great pride in their health, their homes, vehicles, and jobs, knowing these all reflect on them. The Dom takes responsibility for the wellbeing and the proper training, guidance, and discipline of their sub.  The Dom also maintains a stable and safe environment in which their sub may perform their duties in service of the Dom.

Doms are not perfect; they will mess up from time to time.  They can still apologize without appearing weak by just admitting what they did wrong and what they will do to fix it.  Doms shouldn’t lose their temper.  They can get mad and angry but they should always strive to be in control.  Another challenge a female Dom may face is going against society’s rules of being kind and gentle as is expected of the fairer sex.  They’re supposed to be the “nice girl.”  Many women find it hard to be assertive in bed because of this. Bullshit, the world has changed. They may feel guilty always taking, but a Dom needs to remember that subs want and need to be used to serve. The more a Dom demands of their sub, the happier the sub will be. That doesn’t mean that a Dom can’t be giving in bed, but just being  assertive in that part of the relationship will help them fulfil their role.  Ways a Dom can do this in a sexual context are:

Holding their sub down during sex

Tying up their sub in bed so they are restrained

Telling their sub what to do sexually instead of asking

Delaying their sub’s orgasm to show they are in control of it

Another challenge new Doms have to overcome is being afraid of being too strict and hard on their sub with punishments. If anything, I think I get off too easily sometimes. Remember I crave the approval of my Dom and want to be punished when I have disappointed her.

How to be more Dominant

A Dom’s body language and speech need to be powerful and in control. Doms should have good posture and stand tall, being above the sub, often making them sit below them or kneel.  A Dom should also talk confidently and be direct.  They shouldn’t ever ask, “Where would you like to go to dinner?”  They would say, “We are going out to dinner.  Do you have any preference before I decide where?”. One of my favourite things my Mistress does is tell me to make her coffee or fetch a drink.  When we were vanilla she would ask me, “Do you think you can make me coffee please?”  Now she just tells me to do it and it always puts a smile on my face to perform this simple task for her. Watch and see how happy your sub will be to serve you.

How does a Dom train a sub?

Training a sub is a lot of work and not to be taken lightly.  It is a very rewarding process though. When a Dom trains a sub they are moulding them to be a better version of themselves.  Behaviour modification is achieved through maintaining strict consistent structure and order.  subs thrive on a set routine and rules and protocols can help a Dom provide that.  The sub should keep a journal so the Dom can get inside their head.  Punishments are usually necessary to help guide and correct them, as is praise.  It takes constant effort, but It is a beautiful thing when the sub becomes exactly what the Dom desires.

True Dominance is not just a role, it is a way of life.  Being a Dominant means they are held to a higher standard, but it is all worth it.  They will receive the ultimate gift of a sub’s willing submission.  ♥

Unyielding

“I’m sorry this upsets you, but this is going to happen. There is nothing you can say or do to change my mind. Now go on. Try not to think about it if it upsets you. I’ll come and get you in the morning.”

When you break big news to your husband, which you should do on a somewhat regular but unpredictable basis to keep things interesting, there will be times when he may protest. This may occur when you inform him of your decision to not use condoms, or to allow your boyfriend to cum inside you for the first time, or to simply be alone with your boyfriend for the evening (or for an entire week). Encourage him to communicate his feelings. Listen carefully to his fears and concerns. In most cases his anxiety will revolve around fear of loss - that is, fear of losing you, losing privileges he once enjoyed, or losing his manhood. Reassure him that while he has indeed lost some privileges, you are not going to leave him. But also be firm when you explain to him that whatever you and your boyfriend have decided to do is going to happen. As he learns to cope with his powerlessness, he will also revel in the mental anguish it produces. That paradox is precisely what attracted him to the lifestyle - something he will remember that as he navigates the rollercoaster of emotions. You should be empathetic and compassionate. But be confident and unyielding. It is what you deserve. And it is ultimately what he wants.

Why So Hesitant?

To any man who claims he wants his wife or girlfriend to become a slut and to every woman who says she fantasizes of being a slut, I always ask them the same question: Does your partner know?

The answer is typically some version of: No.

People are hesitant to speak sincerely to the person they claim to love and trust the most for some reason. Not being able to express your sexual fantasies and desires will make it multiple times harder to ever accomplish them. So needless to say, both partners need to be able to express their sexual desires freely.

When I ask someone who claims they want this lifestyle why they do not dive into it, I normally get a variety of answers that try to excuse why it is not happening. I have made a short list of these answers and why they are bullshit.

1. Afraid to Ask- The first and most common symptom felt before asking the question is fear. This is not fear of the consequences of the lifestyle itself, but fear of asking. It is fear of the unknown. Fear of not knowing a reaction, of what he or she might think, of the possibility of losing someone for simply asking, of losing the magic of love. Let me tell you something, if you believe there is a magical element to love that gets lost when you tell your partner of a desire, then you are living in bullshit land. Not only are you keeping yourself trapped in this bullshit land, but you are keeping your partner in there with you, forever keeping them “in love” with a fictional version of yourself with no sexual desires. Step up and speak, a true partner values the truth. If you expressed a sexual desire and your partner left, then you two are not designed to be together, plain and simple. This is not to say your partner should fulfill your needs, but if your partner can not accept your desires for what they are, desires, then that partner can’t accept you. Plain and simple, fear to ask is bullshit. (I will cover a few warm-up strategies to overcoming the fear of asking in my next post).

2. She Won’t Be Into It- Another excuse for not even asking is a belief that the partner will not be into it. Sometimes, a person will ask and the partner really will not be into it....yet. This is normal, however, this is not where it ends. Now that your partner knows of your fantasy, there are many ways in which it can be roleplayed or tease you on the fantasy without actually becoming a slutwife. For example, she can go out with you one night wearing less clothing than normal, talk to you about her hottest sexual experience during while jerking you off, dance with another guy while you watch, chat with another guy online, or pretend she is having sex with her favorite movie crush during sex. The possibilities are endless. The point of telling your partner your fantasies is getting her aligned with your needs and helping her adjust to better please you. While roleplaying, she may discover she becomes curious about this lifestyle as well, but you never get there until you start.

3. Is It Cheating?-Another concept that keeps people from living their dreams is comparing the lifestyle to cheating. This could bot be further from reality, as they stand two polar ends apart. Being in a slutwife style relationship is all about love, trust, openess, maturity, experimentation, adventure, desire, respect, boundaries, happiness, and putting your partner’s needs above your own at times. Cheating is lying, deception, disrespect, manipulation, lack of trust, and only caring about yourself. While cheating could be an exciting aspect of a slutwife lifestyle we will cover later, it is not the foundation of a relationship. There is only one thing in common that cheating and hotwifing have in common, sleeping with other men, and that is it. Everything else is as different as it can get. Anyone who claims the two terms are the same is simply brainwashed by a bullshit concept of society’s monogamous relationship fantasy and does not understand that a real relationship goes beyond who a person sleeps with.

4. She Will Think I Don’t Love Her-This fear comes up both during the asking your partner phase and during the going through with it phase. People assume that asking your partner to sleep with other people will make then think you don’t love them. I want you to rethink this bullshit concept. If your partner truly questions your love, ask them, “Why would I share such a deep secret of mine with you if I did not love and trust you completely? Why would I want to experience something like this with you if I did not love you and trust you? You can then proceed to clarify that your love for her is so strong and your trust is so deep that you feel free to share your most intimate secret and know that if she would go through with it, your love for her can only be enhanced knowing she had a sexual experience she enjoyed and still came back to you for true love.

5. What If She Falls in Love- This is the another concept that gets in the way of people living their dreams. What if she falls in love. The assumption here must be that the only people that have sex are in love, or that people that have sex stay in love forever. That is obviously bullshit. But let’s think this out for a minute because it is natural for two human beings that have a pleasurable experience together to have a form of “feeling” for each other. This “feeling” can be compared to puppy love middle schoolers feel for a different kid every month. This type of feeling is possible and often leads to an amazing hotwife experience. But here is question to you, so what? Is love limited? Do you love your mother but not your father? Do you only love one child but stopped loving when you had another? Do you only love one brother? Most people will experience love for different people throughout their lives, without taking away the love from another. The “puppy love” a person may experience can be an infatuation with the excitement of something different and new, and not the deep love for the person themselves. This puppy love is easily replaceable over time with something else new and exciting, unlike the deep love a husband and wife in a good relationship develop, or a mother and child develop which goes on forever. The key takeaway I want you to get from all this is that even if she fell in love with another man, which is highly unlikely, it will not be an issue. Love is not limited. If she loves you the way you love her, your place in her life is set forever, loving another man does not take away from your love, it enhances it due to the fact that she is sharing an intimate experience with you and is loving you all throughout it. In a solid hotwife relationship, she may experience feelings for different men that will come and go, but you will be the only one with a true deep love that she was able to share it all with.

6. The Other Man Is Better- This concept is a fear of jealousy upon realizing that the wife is experiencing something better than what you provide. This could be, the guy has a bigger dick, is more handsome, muscular, can fuck all night, makes her laugh more, better dancer, has more money, etc. Could this happen? Of Course. Odds are, that there is a guy out there who is better than you for any given area. Unless you are Jeff Bezos, chances are there is someone richer. Unless you are Mandingo, some guy out there has a bigger dick. Unless you are Ronnie Coleman, someone is more muscular. Unless you are Brad Pitt, someone out there is more handsome. Thinking your wife should not date guys that are better than you at something is absurd and greedy. You want your wife to experience the best in each man and still come back to you. Unless you are one of the above mentioned men, she did not marry you for that characteristic, so you will be fine. The best part is, all these guys that are better than you will likely be looking to fuck your wife when they realize she is a slut. Your wife will be intrigued and she will likely want to experience them as well. It is your job to overcome your jealousy and let her enjoy the experience. When she comes back to you after experiencing all that, you will realize she still loves you and it goes beyond certain traits that other men are better at.

7. What If She Got Addicted?- Addiction of any kind is bad, mainly because the term would mean she has no control and can’t stop. The concept that she will become addicted and lose all control because she is a slutwife is absurd. Has she never had sex before or something? Has she never slept with another man? Has she never seen porn? Has she never seen a big cock? Has she never loved another man? Has she never had an orgasm? Why would she lose all control all of a sudden? If she begins living out the lifestyle, chances are she will get to experience sex in many different ways that she will enjoy, but that does not mean she is going to throw everything else in her life away. While there is such a thing as sexual addiction, the important thing is that she can keep her life balanced and under control, and that is where the husband comes in. Ultimately, a good husband should want his wife to live her sexual life with so much pleasure that she borders on being a sex addict, but maintains her life under control as any other woman does. Women are often far better at keeping things under control then men, so the odds of losing control are slim. A couple can always plan on dialing back on sexual activity for some time to bring things back to normality if things ever went too far. Fear of addiction is bullshit excuse not to try it.

8. What if Someone Finds Out-Fear of someone finding out is one of the most common barriers to overcome by both the wife and husband. Who is this someone? It could be anyone. From parents, children, friends, coworkers, etc., there is usually a fear of someone possibly finding out about the lifestyle and living life outside of society’s normal expectations. There are many precautions that can be taken to keep things as secret as possible, like doing things while on vacation in another land, of hooking up with people from another city, we will talk more about those options in a later post. The important thing to cover today is the possibility of someone finding out. So what? While it may not be expected, it is far from being a crime when a couple lives the slutwife lifestyle. It is actually become much more acceptable nowdays and will continue to become more mainstream with time. If someone you know did find out and asked about it, there is no obligation to explain yourself. However, it is best to approach the situation calmly and say that it is a fun sexual adventure you both agreed to explore, and that it has been very rewarding. That should clear up any concern for cheating or something being wrong in the relationship. Most people outside of close family would likely never mention it to you even if they knew for fear of causing drama.

These are some of the most common excuses of why people are not living their dream lifestyle. Recognize them, overcome them, and start living your dreams.

How To Ask Her To Become A Slutwife

There are only 2 ways that a wife can become a slutwife.

The first is initiated internally, within her. Internal drive is something inside of her makes her desire to sleep with another man, to have attention from another, to seek a relationship outside of marriage. Internal drive is often the cause of cheating and also a great indicator of slutwife potential. Internal drive is absolutely necessary for a good slutwife.

The second is initiated by external influence. External influence is done by things that influence her internal drive and eventually make her seek the attention of another man and look at the possibility of sleeping with another. External influence can lead to cheating when the husband is not involved, but can lead to a very good slutwife/cuck style relationship when the husband is very involved.

That being said, you can safely assume that her internal drive needs to be kicked in, while simultaneously being a big part of her external influence, in order to get the slutwife of your dreams.

Now, there is only one realistic way of activating her internal drive and being her biggest external influence, you have to ask her to be your slutwife. Why? Because if her internal drive was raging, she would have asked you or already be cheating on you. If that is the case, you don’t need much from this post. For everyone else, it will be up to you to make it happen. You have to push forward.

When people ask me during private conversations, this is usually the biggest hurdle they have trouble getting over. How to ask?

Asking out of the blue can be very intimidating to most, because that is what most envision asking the question. In reality, there are many ways to lead-up to asking the question and warm her up to the idea. Here we will cover a few.

1. Let’s Watch Porn - Contrary to what some think, women can enjoy porn as much as men, they just perceive things differently. We have a natural curiosity towards sexuality and anything taboo, so exploring through porn is very common. Set up some time with your partner to explore porn together. Find out what she is curious about, see if there is something on her mind. If she mentions something, explore that topic. If she doesn’t know, guide her towards your goals. Topics like hotwife, threesome, size queens, and BBC are good starting points. When watching a video on a hotwife, mention how hot you think the scenario is and how much it turns you on. If watching BBC type video, mention how hot you think it looks watching a white woman being a slut for a black man, how black men seem better equipped for porn, and how they seem to have better endurance/stamina. Remember, regardless of the topic, only explore one topic at a time, give her mind time to absorb the idea. Towards the end of the video when you are both feeling hot, mention how you think she could do things better than the girl in the video, to give her a perspective of herself in that situation. Finish by giving her some very pleasurable sex and saying that you can’t wait to set up another night like that. This type of activity will open up the floor for bringing up the idea of her having sex with another man after doing it a few times.

2. Someone hit on her - If you are with a woman who’s looks rate anything above a 1, chances are she will be getting hit on at some point. You may witness it, or she may tell you about it some time later. The point is to be excited about it when she tells you, and ask her to give you every detail. You can then proceed to eat her out and give her a proper orgasm as you mention little suggestions where she could have done more. (Little things are her smiling more when she gets hit on, giving her phone number, adding him on facebook, wearing something slightly more revealing, etc.) This will teach her that you are cool with her having attention from other men, it turns you on, and that you think about her taking it slightly further. By eating her out while talking about it, it aligns these experiences with other good and pleasurable experiences, thus building a correlation between being hit on and pleasure. This opens up the doors for her to seek more attention and eventually pushing further. As far as asking her to be a slutwife when the time comes, you can go back to one of these scenarios and mention how you imagine her going all the way, how hot the idea sounds, and what are her thoughts on doing it in real life.

3. Asking her to Show Off More - You can always ask your wife to show off a bit more, then compliment her on how hot she looks. This doesn’t mean asking her to go full slutmode right off the bat (we will cover more on how to get her there in another post). You will simply ask her to show off a bit more. For example, have her pull her blouse down to show off a bit more cleavage, or let her skirt ride a bit higher than normal. Go out with her and mention how sexy she looked, how you caught a few guys staring, and how much it turns you on. This will no doubt bring a “Aren’t you jealous?” Your reply will be that you are not because you love her, know that she is yours, and that it turns you on when other guys admire your sexy wife. Tell her how proud you are to show off how sexy she is and that you do not believe you should keep such a beauty all to yourself. Over time, as you get her to dress sexier and she becomes more comfortable, this will set things up for the slutwife topic (More on that soon).

4. The Sex Shop Experience-Another way to ease her into talking about her becoming a slutwife is by taking her to an adult store. Not into a cheap small store that looks raunchy, go into an adult megaplex with a variety of stuff. The two of you will go on a date to explore different sexual kinks and to simply look around. While there, see if she is curious about anything in particular, costumes, toys, bondage, etc. and go with it. No one should know her kinks better than you, so go with it. If she is following your lead, start by going to the dvd section and explore your fantasy. Show her some BBC/3 some/ or slutwife DVD and tell her how it looks really interesting. Ask her what she thinks about it. Move on to the costumes and ask her which she finds sexiest. Go with her answers and suggest something sexy yourself, than have her visualize herself wearing it. If its something she could pull off on Halloween, mention how she should wear it on Halloween and turn some heads. Go to the toys section and see if any catch her interest. Go with it. Then point out some large dildos as well. Have her hold them and ask her how she thinks one would feel inside of her if she took her time to ease it in. Tell her how much it would turn you on to see her take one. You should aim to buy something that interests her from each section, to show her how much you lover her sexuality and want her to explore it. At the same time, you are dropping small hints as to your desires and feeling out her interests.

5. Who Would You Sleep With?-You will ask the question that if she could have sex with any one person in the world with zero consequences, who it would be. She may likely choose a celebrity. If she can speak about it openly, ask her to name another. Have her pick out about 3. If she insists that she couldn’t, then tell her that if she had to, due to a life and death situation, who would she choose. You can also apply a world catastrophe situation where you are gone and she is needed yo help repopulate the world and she has her pick of men. The only point here is to get her to talk about how she would have sex with other men. She may counter by asking you who you would sleep with. You will respond with a girl you have seen in porn as a hotwife, going black, doing a gangbang, etc. and you will say that because you would think back and ask her about that scene she did and it would really turn you on.

6. What is your Fantasy?- Last but not least, ask her what her fantasies are. It is important that you know her fantasies and curiosities if you don’t already. If you have done some of the stuff above, you might have done enough to get her curious about the hotwife scenarios, BBC, huge cocks, threesomes, etc. if not, just get to know her fantasies. When she asks about yours, this is where you tell her. Your fantasy is for her to be a sexy slutwife. Remember that you are not demanding anything, you are informing how hot you find the idea. (Go back to post #1) there is a chance she may be into it and willing to explore it further. If not, tell her how you would still like to roleplay that along with her own fantasies.

With the tools above, you should be able to ease into letting her know you love the idea of her becoming a slutwife and gives you a set up to gauge her interests. It also serves towards becoming her biggest external influence and could possibly kick in her internal drive, This on it’s own may not be the home-run, but it certainly sets things up to get her to fulfill your fantasy.

So much wisdom here...

HOTWIFE

Unbreakable Rules:

1. HONESTY…NEVER lie about ANYTHING.

2. COMMUNICATE…Listen to his needs, after all your husband is letting you fuck other men, the least you could do is listen to and fulfill his sexual needs. My husband is a big dominate man & SEXUALLY loves it when I tell him what I’m going to do & how! Who I’m going to fuck, how & when I’m going to fuck him or them...so guess what ? That’s exactly what I do. I tease him and both our excitement levels grow!!! The more excited I get the more excited he gets & in turn he makes sure my pleasures skyrocket!

3. NEVER become attached to a lover. DON’T let it happen EVER…FOR ANY REASON. If you do you’re an IDIOT.

4. SOLO... If you have solo sex, always return to your husband as soon as the fucking is finished, fucking your stud so that he can have his wife, fresh AND NASTY from her encounter. Be a SLUT !

5. ALWAYS RECONNECT with him immediately after sex with someone else. TRAIN him to want to use you. That way he will encourage you to fuck other men for his satisfaction. When he has you after, be ready to be praised and put on the pedestal. BIG TIME!

6. SHARE the experience with him. This is for the enhancement of your relationship and for mutually exciting sexual experiences….NOT to make other men feel good. Always make sure your hubby feels INVOLVED and SATISFIED and he will put you on that pedistal and let you be the slut you want to be. If husband not present you must video your time with your stud or studs all the times. Ladies, it is very important for your husband to feel satisfied make him go crazy for you. Be the nasty slut he wants you to be. The more he goes crazy the more he will drive your excitement to crazy high levels. So the more times your his WELL FUCKED SLUT (& trust me, you’ll do this often) the more you make him your King & he will make you his Goddess!

Break Him Carefully

Halfway there!  A month and a half ago, my amazing, sexy husband agreed to three months of constant tease and denial, without release.  Since then, almost every night, 7 nights a week (and sometimes in the morning, too!), we cuddle snuggle and fondle each other - he makes me cum by going down on me as much as I want, then I slowly edge him intensely, over and over again, to my heart’s content.  Sometimes we’re quick – half an hour and off to sleep. Sometimes we linger – time flies when you’re having fun. {Grin} But the key is that we make time to do it every night, with only a few (very few!) missed nights.  I’ve never slept better in my life…

I adore my precious man.  He trusted his most intimate, primal, involuntary sexual reflex to my care and governance – knowing, full well, that I intended to break him.  I promised to reduce him to a sweaty, leaky, quivering, begging mess of a man.  I warned him that I planned to make it difficult – that I was going to truly challenge him, just to see how much he could handle – to prove, once and for all, that his body could physically endure so much more than his mind ever imagined.

When we started six weeks ago, we had an honest, open conversation about what was about to happen – what we were about to do.  We discussed our limits and set a safe word.  We agreed that if it ever stopped being fun, for either of us, we would stop.  During that conversation, he honestly admitted his doubt about two things:

First, he doubted we would make it this far.  He doubted my commitment to denying him.  His exact words, “There will be a night when things get so hot, you won’t be able to resist making me cum.  I know you.  You won’t make it three months, but it’s fun to try.”  My reply, “Challenge accepted!”  And so far, so good.  Sooo fucking good!  To my husband’s total amazement and slight alarm, I haven’t even ruined him.  Yet…

Second, he doubted I could truly break him.  Break his mind, that is (not his body!  I need that!).  When I promised to send him into the deepest, darkest, most desperate, mind-scrambling frenzy of lust he’s ever experienced, he honestly doubted that such a mindspace existed.  He knows how it feels to be relentlessly edged, teased and denied for days at a time.  He knows the beautiful frustration of being milked and ruined, over and over again.  He’s begged – literally begged – for orgasm before, and heard me say “No.”  He’s been there.  He survived those things without ever truly losing his mind, and he figured this would “just” be more of the same.  Three months of intense fun, but nothing truly new.

And… to be honest… I wondered if he might be right.  His doubt motivated me to find out.  It made me edge him harder.  It made me stop and let go, every time my instinct screamed at me “He’s a man!!  Make him cum!!”  It’s why I insist on playtime every night, no matter what’s happening in our daily lives or how tired I feel.  I wanted to know… to genuinely know… could I break him?  Is it even possible?

Well…

Last night, I’m proud to say, I finally… carefully… definitely broke him!

After six weeks of daily edging, teasing, and denial, we started off “routinely” enough.  We played and cuddled to warm up, then I tied his wrists to the headboard of our bed.  He is hypersensitive and leaking almost constantly now, so I mounted him very slowly and carefully, avoiding any motion that might resemble a thrust.  We kissed, and I took my time, just enjoying the sensation of him throbbing inside me.  Eventually I got my favorite toy and vibed myself to glorious climax on his denied cock.  A perfect start.

I retired to languish at his side in a blissfully relaxed haze, alternately vibing, tickling, and stroking his cock through a string of easy edges.  Easy for me, that is… My head resting on his chest, my hair spilling over his body, my leg hooked with his… It was so serene, I almost fell asleep.

I didn’t even notice the time.  I didn’t even notice when an hour slipped by.  And then two hours.  I was in a warm, post-orgasmic trance… perfectly comfortable… watching his beautiful, raging cock strain so sweetly in my hands… lost in my own little world of loving him… It was just so easy.  And, as nonsensical and silly as it sounds, I loved him for it.  I loved that he found me so beautiful, so irresistible, that he couldn’t stop himself from edging for me.  It made me feel like the most amazing woman in the world.

So I almost didn’t notice when his grunts faded, and the quivers started.  He startled me with a raspy, crackling whisper, “Baby, please… Pleeease!…”

It was the most earnest plea I’d ever heard in my life.  Something in his tone, beyond the words alone… a moment purely between us, when all facades crumble.  He was breaking.  Finally breaking.  This is how it starts…

I immediately perked up.  I needed to see his face, to confirm it for myself.  Yup… he was gone.  His eyes were open, but there was no mind behind them.  His lips were moving, but only a few airy words slipped out.  A lot of “please” and “fuck” and sometimes my name, over and over again.  My heart swelled with happiness for him.  I didn’t say a word – I didn’t want to interrupt his journey.  I just kept lightly gliding my fingers along his cock… carefully, invisibly guiding him through space… knowing that he needed me… that he could never do this to himself.  Weeks of hard work (for both of us!) was finally paying off…

No way I was going to let this moment end any time soon.  I completely forgot how tired I was, or how late it was.  I kept going… carefully… lightly… soft touches ONLY – because just one firm, hard stroke probably would have ended it.  At one point, when he was sweating, quivering, and babbling, I offered him a chance.  I whispered, “Remember, we have a safe word.”  That’s the only time I “broke character.”  I’m sure he heard me; I’m sure he understood.  He didn’t say anything, though.  He just kept begging, “Please… please…”

He wanted to stay.  So I made him stay.

He wanted to be broken…  So I broke him…

He said it was the BEST night of his life.  I believe it!  

And we have another six weeks to go…

So, you want a Hotwife?

This is the kind of art I would collect.

Stephan Sinding (1846-1922), Adoration

Holy crap!  This is MY SCULPTURE!!!

Favourite sculpture.   So beautiful - the sculptor surely had to be a someone’s slave? (The sculpture is called ‘Adoration’ and was created in about 1909 by Stephen Sindling.  It is in the Glyptoteket Museum in Copenhagen.)

The Submissive Conundrum

As a lifelong submissive, I want to tell you how much I appreciate your very down-to-earth writing. I have been alone for a long time because of an inability to find a truly dominant woman. Any suggestions would be welcomed.

Answer:

I get this question a lot. Well, more than a lot. There is a whole world of submissive men out there that really can’t seem to find a dominant female. Now First of all, yes, this type of relationship is definitely not the social norm. So it’s really important to understand that many women, simply don’t advertise that they’re dominant unless they’re a pro-domme. It does not mean there is a lack of dominant women in the world. They’re just not flaunting it with leather and heels, because that’s just not comfortable for daily life.

The biggest problem most submissive males have, is that they continue to search for a dominant woman online and really don’t look anywhere offline, because they’re like either one of two things.

1. They are too upfront about their submissive side, and push it onto every woman they meet, who gets completely turned off the idea, even if she might be dominant curious and not know it. How it’s presented to a potential female partner, whether in person or online, really matters. If you’re admitting you like to wear panties and sniff feet…… You’re not really sending out the signal that you’re a good candidate for a long term relationship that promises a good future. Instead, you’re just seen as a sissy foot fetish weirdo that makes her feel obligated to entertain. This obligation is a turn off, and typically ends the relationship before it even starts.

2. They are too shy about their submissive side, and never tell anyone for any reason ever, because they’re trying to protect their fragile masculinity, while at the same time desperate want to break it.  This leads to a submissive always being in limbo, and aloof. Always indecisive and lacking in confidence. Which tends to lead to vanilla relationships, if she can get past your lack of confidence in the first place. It becomes a relationship stuck in a vanilla mindset, and likely, she’s a submissive too. This can lead to sexual incompatibility issues down the road, when the kettle boils over and you finally cave in and express submissive desires, taking a huge risk revealing your “secret” and possibly being rejected.

So… we have, too shy, and too upfront. The biggest roadblocks for a submissive. so what’s the solution? It’s actually really simple, but its going to require you to put yourself out there, in ways that more represent who you are as a whole.

Being submissive, is not the only thing you are. It’s not the only thing you have to offer. But it is a part of you, and you need to find a way to offer it, when the time is right. Which is easily doable, by being exactly who you are. You don’t need to change anything, except your approach. The only reasons you lack confidence is because you don’t know how to express yourself, or you fear rejection. Rejection in the early days, is a beautiful thing. Rejection in the later days, can get messy, so the sooner you face the possibility of rejection, the better. Rejection is a beautiful thing, because its a literal time saver. It saves, your time, and her time, when you can be completely honest. If she’s not willing to accept your submission…. then maybe you’re just simply not compatible with each other. There is nothing wrong with this. Let them go. Move on. Accept that not everyone in the world, is going to embrace who you are, because that’s just silly. So embrace rejection, and expect it. Expect it not in a lack of confidence type of way, but in a way that makes you have gratitude when you’re accepted and enjoy the relationship that much more. That’s the purpose of rejection and failure for that matter.

Second, is expressing yourself. This is a big one because its so simple and so easy, that its overlooked. Whether you’re over expressing yourself, and being all in for your face submissive, and making her feel obligated….. Or under expressive and can’t make decisions and pissing her off every time she asks you where you want to go for dinner…. There is a happy middle ground. That’s the good news. There is a happy middle ground.  The bad news is, you must mentally discipline yourself, and pay attention, to how you’re expressing yourself and train yourself as you go. In other words, you need to be able to look at yourself and see beyond yourself. This is a lot easier than it sounds.

Let me explain.  

As I said earlier, you are more than just a submissive. You are a person, and you have a personality, you have hobbies, and interests, likes and dislikes. You have a life, you have something to offer. Kindness, compassion, chivalry, romance, good conversation and so on. You have a unique way of connection with people. The problem is, when it comes to women, most submissive men(all men), can’t see beyond their hornyness, and she is seen as if she’s on a pedestal, or as a fetish dispenser, or as something to conquer…. ( topping from the bottom subs are the worst) ….. See her as a person. See her like anyone else in your life, and have a normal decent conversation with her. Get to know her. Dominant women are everywhere there is no shortage of them, they’re the cashier at the grocery store, the waiter at your table….. They’re everywhere. But you can’t know that, unless you get to know them, unless you get off the internet, and start going on dates. Forget the submissive part for now, its like going around wearing a t-shirt that says “ I fuck on the first date.” Leave sex out of it.  Be who you are, without sex, and just enjoy the attraction to each other, this is how chemistry is built to begin with.  Go have a good time together.

Now while you’re having a good time together, you can show certain but subtle submissive traits. Which are typically all the traits we were supposed to learn as children. Like opening doors for her, buying her meal, and just general chivalry. Let the chemistry build up and see if it can go to the next level. As things carry on, and the relationship becomes sexual, you can begin to tell her that you’re submissive and enjoy pleasuring her. Nothing crazy…. see how she responds. You’re only a few dates in, and you’ve gotten to know a really nice person, now its time to find out if you’re sexually compatible. If you are, then you’ve made more than a friend. If not, then maybe you become friends, maybe you don’t, but the relationship can end there, and very little time was wasted. It gave you experience being yourself, and being comfortable talking to a woman, and it also gave you the possibility of being accepted as a submissive. Which is very rare with the typical upfront or too shy approach.

In other words, to make this entire thing succinct enough to wrap up in a single sentence…….

Use your alpha to empower your beta.

Now get out there and rock a woman’s world with your personality, so she can see the true value you have to offer with your submission.

Are Submissive men weak?

I was asked today what is it about submissive men I like, are they not weak? So here are my thoughts about this…. outside of the fantasy of the internet or the male constructed image of what a dominant woman is…..

A truly submissive man is rarely weak in any sense, nor are they lazy, or stupid or a doormat.

Relationships, connections with and submission from a submissive man come in many forms., Here are my experiences, observations and the traits I like.

1. Often very intelligent, life’s thinkers… this appeals to me, clever minds need to be switched off. They also usually appreciate a clever woman and are not threatened by that.

2. True gentleman, they open doors for you, pull back chairs in restaurants, give you their coat if you are cold. I personally love this, it makes you feel looked after.

3. Your pleasure is theirs ….. this covers a wide range of things from making you laugh to making you orgasm, usually giving in nature rather than taking. There is nothing hotter than a man finding happiness, pleasure or arousal, by facilitating yours. They are usually appreciate being guided or for a woman to take the lead completely, without seeing it as Criticism or some kind of assault on their masculinity. Getting laid is not usually high on their agenda, getting you off usually is.

4. They see the beauty you have inside and out and usually put greater value on the beauty inside.

5. They appreciate the things you do for them, and notice when you do.

6. They love making you feel better or good. Usually they notice when your not feeling good too and do their best to help.

7. They are Attentive -Foot rubs, massages, bringing you coffee, stuff that just needs doing. They usually like to talk, share dreams, ideas and generally just spend time with you.

8. They will take over when you need them to… they understand that need and even the most Dominant of dommes need to just check out sometimes, submissive men will help you do that, simply because that’s what you need …. they like to meet your needs.

9. They are usually very passionate, about life, their interests, you!

10. They like to be showered with affection and praise and will do things to get that.

11. Hold you in high regard and tell you so, the love and devotion a submissive man will express to his chosen dominant is a beautiful thing.

12. They are comfortable with their masculinity and their submission, they adore the dominance of femininity.

13. Usually fans of a corseted woman, a big plus for me.

14. Usually protective of their dominant, they usually insist that others treat their lady with the same respect they do.

15. Often sensitive and feeling

16. Value cuddles and intimacy

17. Thoughtful gift givers, even if the gift is their time.

18. They worship you, this can take many forms from kissing your feet to telling you they feel lucky to be in your life.

19. Motivated, usually in most aspects in life, life’s doers.

20. They are not intimidated by your confidence, sexuality, success, ambition, achievements, they usually find that a turn on.

I could go on and on, but I find no weakness in a submissive man. Quite the opposite - I see strength in someone knowing what makes them happy, is confident to ignore the stereotype of “manly” behaviour, has complete respect for women and sees my needs equal to or greater than his own…

I give thanks to the universe for creating such a glorious creature as the submissive man and I’m sure many other dominant women do to!

The Best Cuckold Cock Cage?

So I get asked a lot….

I get asked this question an awful lot. What cage do you recommend. So I thought I would post a little article explaining so I do not have to repeat myself.

Metal cages.

I would always recommend metal cages, firstly they look nicer, shiny locked cocks are always more appealing to the eye. Also this is so much more hygenic and easier for cleaning without the need for release.

Solid base ring.

I obviously do not know this from first hand experience but in the early stages of my partner trying to find the perfect fit, any hinged ring would always cause a nasty chafing issue under his ball sack. Any little lump bump or gap in a ring will cause issues. A nice solid smooth ring is the way to go…. I do not care if you have to squeeze your balls to fit them through the ring this is your problem not mine.

Cage length.

I recommend small cages, not because I want to shrink your penis…. That cannot happen I’m afraid. It is for your benifits. If your penis has no room to expand the erection will be stopped in its tracks, if you have even a slight bit of room the erection will continue, once blood has started going to the penis I’m afraid there is no stopping the party….. This will cause the cage to pull on your balls…. Sounds fun doesn’t it? It is for me, but if you wish to have a good night’s sleep then I’m afraid your out of luck because a normal man has a few erections during the night, so instead of just been woken in the morning you will has broken sleep for the duration of your lockup.

Plastic devices.

In our past experience anything over 3 days in a plastic device which has limited cleaning holes begins to smell and this is awfully off putting so I would say stay clear and stick to metal. The only bonus of say the cb600 range is the multiple ring sizes you can choose from, but again plastic equals problems.

Padlocks vs magic locks.

Both have their merits, I can also arrange a lock to suit both, I like knowing I have the only keys so you can’t escape, magic locks are the most sleek and low profile but I like to know wherever you walk you will have to disguise the noise of the lock clicking on my property.

How to appeal your Tumblr and get it back in 10 min!

I see a lot of people who have blogs marked as explicit ever since the policy change. Or maybe you recently joined Tumblr and now your blog got  flagged & became marked as explicit.

Let’s be real: No one likes to have a blog that looks like total shit. If we all wanted to have a profile that looks the same & boring you would be on Instagram. Btw we also created our Instagram, if you’re interested 😎Additionally having a blogged marked as explicit also means you’re unable to be searched on search engines. This is horrible if you’re trying to grow a page because no one will find you! How lame is that?  

Before we start, this will only work if you’re on a computer! Smartphones/Tablets will not work.

Secondly, you need to delete ALL of your flagged post in the “review flagged post section”. If you have a post you REALLY wanna save, you can simply edit the post and save it to your drafts. 

Anyways, go to https://www.tumblr.com/support then click “my blog has been incorrectly marked as explicit.” I recommend writing a reason, and providing a screenshot. If you’re on a Mac like myself, you can click command-shift-5 to take a screenshot. 

Once you send it, you will literally receive a email within 12 min regarding your appeal. If you did not receive a email within that time frame, Tumblr probably found more flagged post. So you will have to go back to the “review se flagged post” section and start this process again. 

This method 100% works, I’m living proof of it. It took me 26 at one point because Tumblr keeping find old explicit stuff. Normally it takes one try for me. But apparently I had bunch of NSFW post that were not deleted yet.

Then bam! Your Tumblr is back. Let me know if you need help

Sincerely,

-PawgLife

Chastity

Chastity is a curious fetish. It’s curious because it’s a fetish that morphs into a lifestyle with relative ease. It’s also a fetish that is just as addicting for the wearer, as it is for the key holder. The part that makes chastity the most curious however, is just how quickly it can change the mindset of the wearer and key holder. It doesn’t take very long at all to recognize just how powerful D/s can be. Chastity does however, have a few learning curves to it, but they can also be a part of the fun.

When starting out with chastity, it can take a bit of time to get the right fit. There’s a lot of components that need to fit together just right. Too tight can mean serious health consequences, where as too loose might mean the cage falls off without the key. Taking the time to figure out the right fit will beneficial for longer term wear, and putting an end to pinching, or chafing.

It’s important that the base ring fits snugly, just before it cuts off blood circulation. When you’re first starting out, you’ll find that over time, you’ll need to gradually move to smaller rings as the body adjusts.  When you’re just starting out with chastity, the male body is going to rebel against it for the first few weeks. In fact, the device will likely not be able to be worn overnight because in the middle of the night, nocturnal erections will prevent him from sleeping. Not because it’s painful, but because the penis is trying to push the cage away from the body. This causes the scrotum to pull against the ring causing it to stretch. This stretching makes him feel a burning sensation that doesn’t really hurt, but it’s a strong enough feeling to prevent sleep.

Don’t worry, with a few repeated attempts to wear the device overnight, the scrotum will stretch and the burning will cease until the cage can be worn all night long. All attempted erections can be slept through, and he will awake as a very horny locked submissive. Being able to stay locked for a full night is a milestone. The stretching/burning sensation will come back when attempting to do 2 - 3 or more nights in a row, because the body is still not used to it fully. Eventually all this will stop, and he’ll be able to stay chaste indefinitely, without losing any sleep.

Chafing is another concern, because it’s a device attached to a moving part of the body, the ring will tend or irritate the skin and cause it to go raw. One good way to combat this, is to use a clear diaper rash ointment which works like a lube, or remove the cage until it heals then try again. One good brand of ointment is Penaten daily clear protection cream, its on Amazon. This can also be used inside the cage, because it repels moisture. It prevents any kind of infections from sweat and daily use while also allowing the penis to slide around in the cage instead of sticking to the sides. It makes it much easier for him to go pee, without struggling to line his penis up with the hole.

Over time as the body get used to the cage, the skin will stretch, and jumping down a size in the base ring may be a good idea. The cage will often begin to pull forward after a few days of wear, making pullout very possible, if not tempting. Moving to a smaller ring at this point, is a good idea.

Attempted erections over time will lessen to a degree. Not because he’s losing the ability to get hard, quite the opposite in fact, when he’s allowed to be hard, he’ll be harder than he’s ever been! However, his body will have learned that it cannot win against the cage, and will accept defeat. It will not try to get erect as often, which means, his penis will be flaccid most of the time.  If you look at the cage, and see where his flaccid penis is resting, it will likely be a short distance away front the end of the cage. This means, upgrading to a smaller cage would be beneficial.

The cage should fit around the flaccid penis so that it rests touching the end of the cage. Not straining against it. The object is not to cram the penis into the cage, so that even when its resting its backing up into his body. The cage should match his flaccid size, so that when he attempts to get hard, he’s gently denied. Causing him to squirm in frustration and submission.

One other important part to remember when fitting a chastity cage, is the space between the base ring and the cage itself. The gap should not be very wide, it should be wide enough to enable circulation. It should compress the scrotum, so that the balls are snugly held in place. If the gap is too wide, when he gets cold, or is active, or even sleeping, his testicles might slip through that gap, and that can cause pain or injury. Especially if one testicle can slip through and the other cannot.

It is for reasons exactly like that, that the submissive should have access to a chastity key at all times. It doesn’t mean he gets to keep a key on his key chain. But perhaps in a sealed, stapled and signed envelope, that can’t be opened without being noticed. It’s also something that can cause him to be extra horny, knowing the key is within his reach, but he can’t use it without his key holder knowing. So safety first, can be beneficial in more ways than one.

It can be a lot of fun to figure out the right size, and experiment with chastity, it’s really the perfect way to figure out if chastity is for you or not. Once you get past the fitting stages, and getting the body used to it, the real fun begins. It’s the point where, she truly gets to decide if and when, he gets unlocked.

A whole new psychological level unlocks with chastity. One very interesting aspect of chastity is that it’s often a male driven fantasy, but the benefits of it hit the female harder. After a few days of keeping him under lock and key, she often thinks about it throughout the day, and really enjoys the extra attention he’s trying to pour onto her. His puppy dog eyes, his eagerness to please, the housework gets done, dinner gets made and she just gets to relax. A few days of this, and she begins to feel his frustration. She can feel it like he feels it, but in a different way. She feels the power of it, where as, he feels the helplessness of it.

This power that she feels, makes her feel desired, while at the same time, having her own desire. It’s an exquisite mix of emotion that helps her to discover just how much power she has, which gives her the confidence to become a little more dominant. It doesn’t take her very long to realize she loves the idea of chastity. This is a realization that even the submissive hasn’t had yet. She’s leap frogged his understanding of chastity, and it has now become her idea and her fantasy, and no longer his.

It can actually take the submissive a substantially longer period of time to realize how powerful chastity really is. At first he may have been the one pushing it, trying to move faster, wanting her to be more dominant. However, once she truly gets it, she’s going to be taking control in ways he’s not yet comfortable with. Especially when it comes to sex, and realizing that he doesn’t actually get to even touch himself while pleasuring her. The intensity of that alone, can make a submissive realize what he’s gotten himself into!

This might make him become resistant, to be rebellious at first. He may even want out of the cage, just as an excuse to masturbate. It’s okay, if he seriously wants out, and doesn’t want to submit any further, let him out. Within a short period of time, a couple days, or a couple weeks, he’ll miss it. Once a submissive has had a small taste of chastity, especially well fitting chastity, it’s nearly impossible for him to ignore it for long. It calls to him. The feeling of being locked is a feeling that is so addicting, so powerful, that he’ll be begging to be locked again.

This time around he’ll understand more of what he’s gotten himself into, and will be more cooperative. Non sexual activities will become sexual for him. Every chore, will be an act of service, which he will hope for a reward from her. Everything he does, will be in hopes to receive an unlock. Going out for dinner and a movie, might get him feeling hopeful, until she teases him by saying she feels like a bath and a full body massage when they get home. He knows he’ll be locked all night, in service to her.

Eventually he’ll have the same epiphany she had, he will feel his submission take over his whole body. He’ll realize he’s not in control, that he’s surrendered to her, and he has no idea what’s going to come next. He will stop trying to be unlocked through good behavior, and realize good behavior was never why he was unlocked. He gets unlocked, only through obedience to her. It’s a pivotal shift in a female led relationship, where he suddenly gets what it means to be a submissive. That’s when chastity really begins.

Enjoy articles like this?

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Hotwfe Life

A guide to entering the Hotwife lifestyle

So you are now one of the millions of women who have learned she has a husband with fantasies about you having sex with other men. Welcome to our club, hopefully you’re past the shock!

Probably, you were quite unaware that a large percentage of men, your husband being one of them, even had these desires. He wants to share you with other men and women and see you enjoy sex with them!

Aren’t you lucky? Feeling excited? A little nervous too?

It’s okay, women too, just like men, want to explore sexually and have fun. How else did “50 Shades” do so well? We all belong to one of the rare species on the planet where sex is not just a reproductive instinct but an integral part of our being, it is an inseparable mix of need and desire and we cannot change that. Why would we want to?

If you are the adventurous open minded type, and you likely are, you are now contemplating doing what he fantasizes about; being able to enjoy the company of other men; their different personalities and conversations, touch, kisses, bodies, their cocks and ways of fucking which will all enhance the wonderful experience that is your marriage and your life! Trust me, I know. I am a Hotwife; a woman being free to enjoy sex with other men with her husband’s knowledge, approval and encouragement.

If you are brave and adventurous enough and you embark down this path, you will find yourself having more fun, happiness and sexual fulfilment than you ever thought. You will be feeling as confident as you did when you were first married and probably find yourself even more in love with your husband and appreciating him more than ever.

Initially, it might take time before you are completely comfortable describing your fantasies to your hubby, having sex in front of him and enjoying dates with other men without him. To begin with, it is important to go slowly and not rush things, you need to check and nurture your relationship first and foremost. Your husband’s approval and peace of mind is fundamental as most men are unaccustomed to actually sharing their wives even if they have fantasied about it. After all, it is against all that society has groomed him to be; he’ll therefore take some time to overcome his instinctive jealousy and become accustomed to watching or knowing you are being intimate with other men without him.

You must help his mind accept and be happy for you being with other men; make the thoughts as pleasurable for him as they are for you. You should regularly and casually talk sexually about men, women too if you are that way inclined, like I am. Talk about your past sexperiences, thoughts and lovers in detail whilst in bed together; never be at all reserved about this, thinking you are protecting his feelings in one way or another. Tell him in detail about your best times and your favourite men; whilst you both are being intimate have him imagine you with them as well as being with men you actually know.

Once your husband is completely comfortable and happy with this, you can gradually move on to actually dating and fucking other men. This really will become quite natural for you both and   providing he never feels neglected, he will let you do anything sexually and will get great sexual satisfaction from your encounters with other men, he will be pleased that you are happy and enjoying. You will discover it will also turn you both on like nothing you’ve ever done before and most importantly, he will be drawn to your womanly sexiness like never before and be more in love with you than at any time in your marriage as your bond strengthens further.

To find your playmates, look at men everywhere, young and old, enjoy looking at them, but don’t always go on looks. Next time you are out shopping or out and about, see if you can find one guy you fancy in some way. If you do, initiate some form of basic conversation. It may be nerve wracking, but do it, you will be happier for it and who knows where it may lead? Visit an adult dating website or a swinger’s club and start interacting with men. Be upfront about your newbie-status and that you’re only dipping your toes at this stage. Get to know some experienced Bulls, most will be more than happy to answer questions and respect your need to explore at your own pace. Try to find men you have a sexual chemistry with, it’s so important. Sexual chemistry isn’t dependent on physical attractiveness. I’ve had sex with many good looking men but felt little to no chemistry with them. The sex was good but it never left me wanting more. In fact, I didn’t care if I never saw them again. Conversely, I’ve slept with men who were more or less average in attractiveness but months later, I find myself daydreaming about them, it’s either there or it isn’t.

The Hotwife lifestyle I can assure anyone that it is a wonderful thing for you and your husband. It takes you away from the routine, like a weekend break or vacation does. You will be intimate with and share another person’s sexuality, looking at a different face and body, hearing a different voice and doing different things with your new lovers that you may not normally do. It will empower you and make you feel different about yourself in a great way. For me, I developed better emotional and physical intimacy with all men, especially my husband, enjoying sex more than ever, making me feel more confident than I ever had done previously.

A husband’s involvement can vary a lot, some Hotwives play completely on their own with no interaction with her hubby, others enjoy their man watching or participating, some do both. All variations on this lifestyle are appropriate, as all couples are unique in what they like, it is up to you. This includes how often the Hotwife dates and or fucks her new male friends. This may be weekly, monthly or just a few times a year, it’s up to you. Remember that open communication is important to establish your goals and boundaries and make this lifestyle work for you and your husband. The idea that you are sexy enough to go to another man for your sexual pleasures will drive him crazy with lust for you, trust me! Husbands of Hotwives want to be immersed into their wives’ sexual being completely as they are totally besotted by their wives; they relish the excitement of watching their partner and exploring her sexuality.

After your liaisons with other men, tell him all the intimate details whilst relaxing together, have him stroke himself and imagine you being with your lover whilst you tell him about the event. Don’t hide anything at all, if your lover made you cum with his big cock, say so, hold nothing back at all. This creates a sexually charged experience for you both on a continual basis; this is a special part of the excitement for many couples. A key point when embarking on this lifestyle is that you take control of your sexuality, it revolves around you, the Hotwife, empower yourself within the confines of your happy marriage. So, when you decide you’re going to go out and meet someone, or have someone over, just tell your husband, in a very matter of fact way whether he is to be involved or not. If you are having a man over, discuss with your husband him the things he can do to set the tone and create a special night for you both and your lover.

When your lover arrives, things then change; you are his, think about and look after his needs as well as yours. Don’t be timid and make small talk for an hour, everyone knows he’s there for a sexy time. Unashamedly show your desire for the other man, initiate intimacy and even drool over him and make compliments while your husband watches. Pay attention to your lover exactly like you would if you were totally alone with him, if you are not alone that is. Treat him like you treated your husband when you first started fucking. Let your naughty slut come out to play with plenty of dirty talk, give him all he wants and experiment a little. Don’t be shy or act inhibited, do anything you want and don’t be afraid to moan and scream and cry out with passion. Be sure to let your husband know when you orgasm with your new lover. Continue to pamper your lover exactly as you would your husband, right up until the goodnight kiss at the door. It’s always up to you, you’re the Hotwife, do what turns you on; you are in charge. The excitement of experiencing a new man sexually, while at the same time turning on the man I love, is difficult to explain but incredibly exciting.

After you have been with other men, with your hubby or without him, the next step is very important if you want to keep doing this and ensure your husband is happy supporting your Hotwife lifestyle. So, even if you’re tired, turn all your attention to your husband, become his again, letting him reclaim you as his own as soon as the other man departs. You must be right back in your husband’s arms and become his wife and lover again, making sure he receives the love and pleasure so that he very much desires to watch you do it again and again. Over the next few days, reassure him that you’re his wife forever and remind him that you love the fact that he lets you enjoy this lifestyle. Tell him how much you enjoyed the time with your lover; replay the night over and over, tell him you can’t wait to do it again and how you appreciate the freedom he gives you.

Emotional attachment with your play dates can and will happen, so be watchful that lines are not crossed. Until you’ve got a better handle on things you should only contact a guy to arrange a date for sexual play. I’ve crossed the line in the past so I’m wary of repeating mistakes, common sense prevails here. . If a guy insists on more contact in between dates because he otherwise feels ‘used’, then I recommend moving on. It doesn’t have to be all clinical either, a little contact and “closeness” between a Hotwife and her playfriends is more than appropriate and in many cases quite essential to build up some excitement before a meet. Even if I haven’t had contact with an out-of-town playmate for months, in the lead up to a date, we’ll exchange quite a few flirty and dirty text messages. There’s nothing like anticipation right? In fact, I would feel a bit weird jumping straight into bed with a guy without stoking the fire first. My husband actually likes building up some excitement and energy before a date so he thinks it’s more than fine to communicate or even see him for a drink or two first.

This lifestyle is about living life to the full, however, you will be unsure at times. What is needed is for you both to take time to acclimatise to this new sexual way of living, so, pause and reflect. Ask yourselves some pertinent questions and then continue living the lifestyle or move on from it, maybe it’s just a break that is required. You must also remember that all women have phases of feeling unsexy and it occasionally takes time and a little effort to lure the sex goddess within you out to play, this is normal. Do not give up or cancel a playdate unless really necessary, persevere and stay on course. Hotwifing in itself is very good for a woman’s self-esteem but unless you feel confident about yourself, you won’t enjoy the experience as much as you should. Pamper and treat yourself to sexy underwear or something that makes you feel good. Men are definitely turned on by happy women. Remember that you are probably your harshest critic so take it easy on yourself.

A word sometimes used to describe husbands in this alternative lifestyle, including mine, is “Stag”. This is a man who shares his woman, but without accepting being treated as a subordinate in any way by his wife and lover. Those who do enjoy this are known as Cuckolds and their activities cross over into the Sado-Masochism (S&M) lifestyle, different to what I’m talking about here. The men who entertain Hotwives (also known as Vixens) are called Bulls or perhaps more realistically, her lovers, playfriends or playdates.

Chances are you’ll be having great sex with your Stag for weeks after he watches or hears about you fucking other men, he will naturally be more attentive and loving than he was before you started being his Hotwife for real, not just in his fantasies. The lifestyle will become an important part of your sexual relationship and it will grow into the most exciting sex life you’ve ever imagined together, there is so much to experience in this lifestyle that you’ll never be bored. One life, be happy together!

#Research

Cuckold articles

Hotwife Lifestyle - One BIG Potential Problem and How to Avoid It 

Many of the problems with the hotwife lifestyle come down to the differences in the ways men and women think. Never underestimate the magnitude of the task ahead of you if you want to get your wife or girlfriend to cuckold you. The trick isn’t just to get her to have hot sex with other guys but also to STAY emotionally faithful to you AND involve you to whatever extent you want to be involved. ….

Hotwife Advice for Women 

 think women tend to get a raw deal when it comes to finding advice on being a hotwife. It’s true there’s lots of information out there on the topic, but most of it is written by men for men; and the material that is written by women seems to be more about what they get up to rather than how to make it work. In other words, it’s also written for men. ….

The Hotwife Lifestyle for Beginners 

The hotwife lifestyle appeals to many men and women of an open-minded nature who have a strong relationship and wish to explore beyond the horizons of traditional sexuality in regard to marriage and monogamy. …..

Hotwifing and the Four Stages of Cuckolding 

Almost every marriage where cuckolding becomes the norm passes through these stages, and it’s important to realise they are entirely natural and normal. 

The Ultimate Hotwife Lifestyle 

What many men – and even fewer women – realize when they first start taking the idea of hotwifing and cuckolding as a serious possibility for them, is they are subtly changing the dynamic of their relationship and setting themselves up for a true lifestyle change. ….

How To Start Hotwifing 

The question of how to start hotwifing is not as simple to answer as you might think. Or, rather, there is a simple answer but it’s not a very useful one: “just go out and fuck another man, dear”. Alas, that’s a recipe for disaster. …

How Does Hotwifing Enhance a Relationship? 

At first glance, it would seem ‘obvious’ that hotwifing or cuckolding – where a woman has sex with men other than her husband, but with her husband’s knowledge, consent and often at his urging – would be disastrous for any marriage, no matter how strong. But this is far from the truth, as you’ll see in this article…..

How Often Should Your Hotwife Play? 

This is a topic for more advanced couples who are currently living the hotwife lifestyle or have definitely decided to “do it” – and now they’re just working out the details. And one detail that’s really important to work out properly and in advance is how often should your hotwife play?….

Cuckolding: Three Things Cuckolded Husbands Love The Most 

There are many surprising benefits to being cuckolded for husbands, in terms of an enhanced relationship and, in a seeming paradox, a better sex life. But out of all of them three stand head and shoulders above the rest in terms of their ability to delight and excite the man whose wife has one or more lovers. We look at them in detail in this article….

Why Cuckolding Makes for a Happy and Fun Marriage 

Why cuckolding is so popular a fantasy for men is a fascinating topic, and one it’s worth understanding before you take even your first, tentative steps into the hot wife and cuckolding lifestyle. So in this article we’ll look at why men have the cuckolding fantasy so often, and why the cuckolding hotwife lifestyle is so much fun for both of you….

Hotwifing - 3 Ways to Do It Successfully 

This is perhaps the best choice of all, especially for couples are new to the hotwife lifestyle. In this article I share with you three simple choices for couples new to the hotwife lifestyle….

Hotwife Tips - 3 Hot Secrets for Ultimate Hotwife Pleasure 

So, you’ve confessed your desires to your wife – you want her to have sex with other men – she’s agreed in principle, so now… how is it all going to work? So to give you a nudge in what I hope is a hopeful direction, here are three simple scenarios for couples new to hotwiving (you can also use these as ideas when first introducing your wife to the idea of getting into the lifestyle)….

The Ultimate Hotwife Night 

The hotwife or cuckolding fantasy is a very popular one for men, but even though they think about it often, it’s rare they actually think about it very deeply. And the problem with this is the things you need to do to make the hotwife lifestyle appeal to your wife means sitting down and thinking about it a little more deeply than you have been doing – simply because when it comes to these things, men and women have a very different approach. That’s what we explore in this article…..

Can Hotwife Marriages Really Work? 

It’s a fact that hotwifing is a very, very common male fantasy. Why this is so is open to debate, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s true…..

Hotwifing Benefits - Three Reasons Hotwifes Have Better Marriages 

Odd as it may seem the hotwifing benefits you’ll experience if you can get your wife to take the plunge into the cuckolding lifestyle far outweigh the risks and disadvantages (with one proviso: hotwiving is for couples whose relationship is good but they want to improve it; if your relationship is already sexless and broken, then hotwiving will make things a lot worse). Discover here three HUGE benefits to the hotwife lifestyle…..

Hotwife Rules - 3 Tips to Successful Hotwifing 

Hotwife rules won’t mean much to you if you’re in the minority of cases where the lifestyle is part of a wider female-dominated relationship where the only rule seems to be “she can do what she likes”. But for the majority, those who see hotwiving as being something to deepen and enhance a relationship of equals there are three rules you must follow…..

Hotwifing - Is It Wrong? 

Hotwifing is an emotive subject with a lot of strong opinions held on both sides of the argument. But, the fundamental question is: Is Hotwifing Wrong? Unfortunately there’s no answer anyone can give and relieve the individual of answering the question for him- or herself…..

Hotwiving and What Your Wife Wants From It 

The biggest mistake men make when they try to get their wives interested in hotwiving, is blundering in without giving a moment’s thought to what they’re trying to achieve. I mean, yes, they know what their goal is, but that’s the problem. They’re focused on it like a greyhound chasing a rabbit and are blind to all else – including the mess they’re making of things! In this sort article you will uncover the big shift in your thinking you need to make if you want your wife to become the dream Hotwife you crave….

How Does a Hotwife Pick Up a Lover? 

The answer to the question, “how does a hotwife pick up a lover” must be… “very carefully!” But joking aside, in this short article you will discover three tips to selecting the right man to become your wife’s lover…..

How to Get Your Husband to Agree to a Hotwife Lifestyle 

Usually, it’s the man who drives the hotwife lifestyle and then as his wife become more comfortable with it and realises he’s not going to ‘freak out’ at her seeing other men, she tends to become more outgoing and provocative. And, of course, men love this. But what about when it’s the wife who harbours the initial desire? In this short article you will discover some simple tips for women seeking to persuade their men to let them off the leash! …..

How Many Wives Would Like to Hotwife? 

Since infidelity is the last big taboo, how many wives would like to hotwife? And it seems like a reasonable thing to ask since even though it’s a very common male fantasy, it seems women are turned off by the whole idea (but the truth I reveal in this short article will surprise you).,,,,,

Why Cuckolding Is Not the Same As an Affair 

Cuckolding is NOT the same as having an affair, despite most people thinking it is. The crucial difference is one is done with the full knowledge, consent, and even approval of the husband, while the other is not. Discover the difference between cuckolding and affairs and finally uncover the truth about the delicious cuckolding lifestyle…….

The Hotwife Lifestyle - 3 Secrets to Make It Work! 

For many couples the Hotwife lifestyle is a marriage saver - something you might find counterintuitive considering the pain, anguish and trouble infidelity typically causes in a marriage. But the hotwife lifestyle is different and can in fact bring couples closer together. In this short article you will discover the plain truth about the hotwife lifestyle…..